


Crimson Windows

by PortoDioVilla



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fix-It, Kakashi Isn't In This One, M/M, NaNoWriMo, Slow Burn, Sneakiness, Team 7 But No Kakashi, Teenage Drama, Therapy, what's canon?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 83,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortoDioVilla/pseuds/PortoDioVilla
Summary: Sasuke's Sharingan lets him see the one word that best describes the personality, motivations, beliefs, and character of the people around him. Why then does the word hovering above his brother, who has just killed their parents, say "kind?" (Inspired by MTDSOW's fic "Words to A Face")
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 175
Kudos: 348





	1. I'm Here To Make Sure You Recover

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by MTDSOW's "Words to A Face" fic, which you can find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549224/
> 
> This is a fic I'm writing for NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) so I'm planning to update it daily, perhaps multiple times a day. As such, it will look incomplete and under-edited all the time because that's literally how it has to be! I didn't expect to receive such a positive response to the fic right out the gate but I'll do my best to keep the quality high for y'all. Hope you enjoy, and happy NaNoWriMo!
> 
> Content warnings / cw: depictions of violence, depictions of blood, reference to torture, psychological torture/abuse, depictions of therapy, depictions of hospitals, depictions of drug use

It made no sense. None of it made any sense at all.

Sasuke’s parents lay motionless on the floor in front of him, blood pooling around them, while behind them his brother stood motionless. Itachi’s katana was held loosely at his side, like an afterthought, blood dripping from it like the hands of a clock, marking the painfully slow passage of time. 

Sasuke’s brother had killed their parents. He had killed everyone else in the entire clan. He had carried Sasuke home on his shoulders just the other day, there was no way he was capable of such a thing. Sasuke refused to believe his brother was such a monster; to believe otherwise would be to accept the reality that was dripping down his brother’s blade, and that reality could not exist with the idea of Itachi the kind, gentle, older brother. 

It made no sense. Either Itachi was a monster, or Sasuke’s eyes were deceiving him. So why then? Why did Sasuke see vividly, clear as day, **“Kind,”** whenever he looked at his brother? 

“So you’ve awakened the Sharingan,” Itachi said, his own red eyes staring intently back at Sasuke, “Good. Someday, then, your hatred may yet overcome your weakness, and you will have the power to defeat me.”

Tears streamed down Sasuke’s face, blurring his vision. Itachi had never called him weak before. Why was he being so cruel now? And why was **“Kind”** the word that came to mind, so vividly that Sasuke could literally see the letters floating in the air whenever he looked at Itachi? 

“Why?” Sasuke cried out, “Why did you do this? Mom and Dad loved you!”

“To test my ability,” Itachi sneered, “To confirm what I thought all along: they were weak, and I am strong.”

Itachi’s face betrayed his contempt for their parents, disgust apparent even in the dim light, but somehow that word **“Kind”** still lingered, whatever it described seemingly unfazed by this performance. Was this the Sharingan, then? It was rare even among the most skilled Uchiha to develop the Sharingan, and it was said that its power varied from person to person. Perhaps Sasuke’s was different?

“You’re lying,” Sasuke said, suddenly, compelled, “You loved them too, I know you did. You loved me! You wouldn’t just pretend to love us all!”

Itachi’s expression didn’t change, but he raised his chin to look down on Sasuke all the more. Sasuke felt small, felt worthless, alone, but even then that word, **“Kind,”** remained.

“Your childish naivety would be amusing if it weren’t so pathetic,” Itachi said darkly, “I will rid you of it, then you can tell me if you still doubt my hated.”

Sasuke watched as Itachi’s eyes _changed_ , the three, black tomoe of a fully developed Sharingan rotating, fusing, changing into a three-pronged windmill, shape. Tears of blood welled at the corner of his brother’s eyes before the world faded from view.

Then Sasuke was put under his brother’s genjutsu, and his brother tortured him.

It ended, and Sasuke was brought back to reality, darker, bleaker, than before. He collapsed on the floor, arms giving out beneath him, bringing him face-to-face with his mother's lifeless eyes, feeling her cold blood on his cheek. He screamed, but no sound came out. His throat had grown raw; he had been screaming for so long already.

He was picked up roughly, a hand around his neck lifting him off the ground. He couldn’t breathe, his brother’s grip was so tight. He was thrown, out through the open door, out onto the street. There was no one alive to save him. 

“Get up,” Itachi commanded, towering over him. Sasuke obliged, crying out in pain as he did so, broken bones begging for respite.

“Do you know why you’re alive?” Itachi asked. Sasuke shook his head, although he couldn’t even lift it enough to meet his brother’s eyes.

“Because you’re not worth killing,” Itachi sneered, “Because you’re nothing. Your hatred is too weak. Only when you have eyes like mine will I consider you worth killing.”

_Eyes like his..?_

Sasuke looked up to meet his brother’s eyes, windmill-Sharingan blazing intensely. He couldn’t escape what his eyes were telling him.

“You’re,” Sasuke choked out, “you’re kind.”

There. Itachi’s eyes wavered. It was brief but unmistakable. Sasuke vowed then that he would remember that flicker, would remember what his eyes were telling him. He was being kept alive, and his brother was kind. Whatever else had happened couldn’t erase those two facts. He held onto it.

“You’re wrong, Sasuke,” Itachi grit out, voice dripping with contempt. There was a shout from the end of the street, and both Uchiha brothers turned to look. Sasuke was shoved to the ground, as Itachi jumped backwards, several shuriken embedding themselves where the brothers had just been. Sasuke heard the shouts grow louder, saw Itachi disappear in a whirlwind of leaves. 

His brother appeared at the opposite end of the street, just in front of the compound’s walls and the city’s outer limits. Sasuke saw only his back, but nonetheless he was able to see it clearly, the word he couldn’t manage to shake:

 **“Kind.”** Despite everything, Sasuke chose to believe his eyes. His brother was kind, and Sasuke would find out what could bring him to do this, one way or another. Sasuke let this thought comfort him as he fell unconscious.

~~~

When Sasuke awoke, he was in an unfamiliar room. He was bandaged, and could feel the remnants of an unfamiliar chakra on his chest and arms, signs of healing jutsu having been performed. His entire body hurt, but the pain was numbed by the weight of what had just happened to him. What he was forced to accept. 

He tried to sit up, but his body resisted the motion, and so he content himself to observe his surroundings more passively. He was in a hospital room, but not one in the Uchiha clan’s clinic. This was probably the main Konoha hospital. There was an ANBU guard standing at the window, looking out, and what looked like one standing outside the door to the room, in a hallway. 

There was also a woman, sitting in a chair beside the bed, who was watching him intently now that he had woken up. She had long, dark hair, and startling red eyes-

Reflexively Sasuke’s Sharingan activated, fear taking hold of his body, any resistance to movement quelled by a sudden burst of adrenaline. He started scrambling backwards in his bed, trying to put distance between himself and the woman with the red eyes, the Sharingan, he was in danger, blood, he saw blood-

“Ah, Boar-san, he’s awake,” the woman called out to the man by the window, looking concerned and standing up to move toward Sasuke-

Then he saw it. Hovering above the woman’s head, clear as day, as if the letters were floating in front of him, a single word:

**“Kind.”**

Sasuke stopped moving immediately. He distantly heard a stranger’s voice, distorted by an ANBU mask, saying his name, asking if he was OK. He nodded numbly, but kept his eyes transfixed on the woman, and on the word floating above her. 

“Sasuke,” she said, and her voice was impossibly gentle, “Do you know where you are?”

He nodded.

“Can you tell me where you are, hon?”

“The hospital,” he rasped, timidly, “I-in Konoha, I think.”

“That’s right,” the woman smiled and nodded, “You’re safe here, OK? I’m here to keep you safe, as is Boar-san here and Wolf-san by the door.”

Those names corresponded to the animals depicted in the ANBU members' masks, Sasuke noted, although he didn’t spare them a glance. He was transfixed by the woman in front of him. Without that word, Sasuke would have stayed silent, wouldn’t have trusted himself. He trusted his eyes, however, and so he mustered his remaining courage.

“Are you,” he began, voice catching on each word, “Are you an Uchiha too?”

The woman’s dazzling red eyes widened, and tears welled up at the corners, as she put a hand to her mouth. She shook her head.

“Oh, sweet thing, no, I’m not,” she said, a tremor in her voice, “I'm a Konoha jounin. Kurenai Yuuhi. The doctors said a powerful genjutsu was used on you, so I’m here to make sure that you recover from it.”

“O-oh…” Sasuke said, blinking, then suddenly feeling very silly. He will his Sharingan to disappear, and then looked away, blushing.

“I think I know what you were thinking though,” Kurenai said, a hint of melancholy makings its way past the gentleness, “Dark hair, red eyes...you’re not the first one to mistake me for a Uchiha. As it happens, the Yuuhi clan is a distant offshoot of the Uchiha, from before Konoha was formed, so I suppose you could think of me like a cousin.”

The thought was nice for a moment, until he remembered all his other cousins, and all his uncles and aunts, all dead, his parents, dead-

Sasuke began to cry. He shouldn’t have been alive. His life hereafter would always be painful, why even bother living? He would never have a mother again, never have a father. He realized he was crying in front of a bunch of strangers, and that made him cry even more. How stupid he was to think there was another Uchiha left in the world. The only ones left were him, and his brother- Itachi- his eyes-that scene, playing again and again and again and again-

Suddenly there were arms around him, warm and soft. He heard an ANBU shout something and heard Kurenai shout something back, and it was _Kurenai_ hugging him, and the position was all wrong because he was sitting in bed and she was standing, and he was too small and she was an adult, but it didn’t matter. 

He let himself be hugged, and he let himself cry, and in that moment a little part of him began to heal.

Eventually they had to stop hugging, and so Kurenai pulled away, and asked him if he was OK, and he nodded again, and Boar-san said more clearly and firmly that Sasuke needed to rest, and so Kurenai asked him if he was OK to try and rest a bit more, and so Sasuke nodded and lay back down. He closed his eyes, and tried to not think about what his life, and to rest, at least for Yuuhi-san’s sake, because Sasuke was in fact a very polite young man and she had asked him quite kindly. 

**Kindly**. 

He couldn’t shake the similarities. Couldn’t stop replaying the memories of that worst day of his life. Couldn’t shake the feeling that Itachi _was_ kind, that Yuuhi-san _was_ kind. It felt undeniable. His mind kept running in circles, seeing the actions of his brother contrasted with this word that Kurenai seemed to share. Why? What did it mean? It kept him from being able to fall back asleep. After a while, however, he overheard Yuuhi-san and Boar-san begin speaking quietly, once they thought he had fallen asleep. 

“You absolutely cannot interact with Uchiha-san that way,” Boar said in hushed tones, “He is still recovering, mentally and physically, and he’s in an extremely vulnerable state.”

“So let’s get him a _real therapist then_ ,” Kurenai hissed back, “I keep telling you that’s what he needs, not a genjutsu expert and a mind-reader. Hokage-sama wants to know that he’s going to be OK? Let’s actually make sure of it.”

“As I said before,” Boar replied, “It’s not that simple, since Sasuke is now the Uchiha clan head we can’t just force him to go to a therapist, even having him in this hospital is barely permissible by clan laws. Unless he requests it, we have to assume he’s fine.”

“You _know_ he’s not fine-”

“It’s not up to me!”

“You’re a clanhead too, you can’t pretend that you have no influence-”

A clanhead? This sparked Sasuke’s interest, despite himself. His Sharingan once again manifested, and he allowed himself to peak out from underneath the covers. Kurenai Yuuhi came into view, and above her, as before the word **“Kind,”** then standing beside her was someone Sasuke distantly recognized…

Inoichi Yamanaka. The name came to him immediately, like a mechanism locking into place. Somehow the man’s movements, even with his face concealed and his voice distorted, seemed immediately recognizable, no doubt due to his Sharingan’s intense attention to detail. Beyond the name however, a much more striking feature appeared as floating in the air above Inoichi Yamanaka’s head was a single word:

**“Tortured.”**

Then the word shifted:

**“Torturer.”**

Sasuke couldn’t seem to make it stick to one, focusing on one form made the other appear as if in his periphery, until the first disappeared. There was no clarity, besides an overwhelming sense of weariness. Sasuke could almost feel the weight of emotion and pain behind that word. 

As it happened, It seemed like Inoichi could feel himself being scrutinized too. He noticed Sasuke watching and turned to address him, prompting the young Uchiha to let out a small squeak and duck under the covers, his Sharingan dissipating once more. Again, adrenaline took over and he was sent into a panic, quivering under the sheets, taking ragged breaths as he hoped the Yamanaka clan-head would overlook him. It seemed unlikely.

“Excuse me?” came a distorted voice, polite but concerned, “Uchiha-san? May I speak with you?”

Sasuke tried to take a few breaths underneath the covers to compose himself, but the air was thick and heavy and in his panicked state he couldn’t muster the regularity needed for the additional air to provide any sense of calm. Dismayed, terrified, he sat up out of the covers abruptly, pushing himself up against the wall behind the bed he lay in, trying in vain to create distance.

“Please, Mr. Boar-san, sir,” he said through shaky breaths, “I didn’t hear anything, I was asleep, I swear, please don’t-”

Sasuke couldn’t finish the sentence, and so gulped instead.

The ANBU in front of him looked over at Kurenai, who shot him a very pointed glare, before turning back to Sasuke and removing his mask, revealing that it was indeed Inoichi Yamanaka beneath the mask. He looked concerned, and deeply sad, but not vindictive, as Sasuke had feared.

“Uchiha-san,” he began plaintively, “Please don’t be afraid of me. It’s OK if you overheard something, see? We’re here to protect you, not prosecute you. You don’t have to be afraid of me or Wolf-san at all.”

“I know who you are,” Sasuke whimpered, eyes still wide, “You do torture and interruption for the ANBU, my father told me, I know you’re here to do that, but please, I’ll tell you everything I promise you don’t have to torture me I’ll be good, I swear-”

Inoichi looked over at Kurenai again, the guilt plain across his face, and she merely raised an accusatory eyebrow while folding her arms.

“While it is true that I have been asked to read your mind, Uchiha-san,” Inoichi said, speaking slowly and precisely, “I...I certainly have no intent to _torture_ you! Why ever would you think that?”

“It's because of Itachi,” Sasuke breathed, tears coming immediately to his eyes, “You think he did something to me, think I’m dangerous. And you think he’s dangerous too, you think I know what he’s going to do next, but I don’t know anything! I’m not dangerous, I’m really, really weak, and, and you should probably just stay away from me because he’ll come back and hurt you-”

Sasuke started breathing more rapidly, trying to capture the air required to continue his panicked monologue, but he couldn’t get it, so he started taking faster breaths, and faster, and suddenly he couldn’t stop, and the room was spinning-

Kurenai ran out to get the Wolf-ANBU’s attention, while Inoichi rushed forward and put a hand on Sasuke’s head. Sasuke activated his Sharingan reactively, and **“Torturer”** flew into his mind’s eye, amplifying the intense anxiety that suddenly pervaded him, making him utterly lose control of his body. In the end that proved to be too much, and once more Sasuke lost consciousness.

He awoke sometime later, feeling very foggy. There was some kind of liquid suspended in a bag to his right, and that bag fed into a tube, and that tube ended in a needle, which ended in his arm. 

That felt OK.

He knew rationally that things were very, very bad. Father had told him that using the Sharingan against other Leaf shinobi, even activating it in their presence, was treated very seriously as a threat. Sasuke had made that threat -unintentionally- towards the head of the Yamanaka clan; that was a big no-no. As the son of a police officer, Sasuke had some grasp of the laws of Konoha, and a brief mental review of them confirmed for him that he was fucked.

That felt OK too. 

The thought that he was fucked, doomed, more or less sentenced to death, and so on should have bothered him a bit more, but it didn’t. He felt, actually, utterly serene, completely different from how he felt only moments before losing consciousness, although up until he used his Sharingan, his situation then was probably a hundred times better than whatever it was now.

Oh well. He was unbothered.

He took a moment to lazily survey the room he was in. A bed, yes, and the hospital facades. Another ANBU standing at the window- the Wolf from before! Sasuke waved with his needle-free arm. The ANBU looked at him, then looked over his shoulder at something else, before waving back a little. Sasuke beamed. What a good doggy. What had he been looking at though?

Sasuke placidly turned his head to investigate: Ah! It was an old man, sitting in the chair where Kurenai had been before. He looked _very_ tired, and he had a funny hat. Sasuke frowned at the poor old man with the funny hat, because he seemed familiar. 

Ah. That was the Hokage. 

“Hello, Hokage-sama,” Sasuke said, politely inclining his head, “You look very tired.”

The old man looked up, and despite his weariness, smiled genuinely at Sasuke, a small, sad smile that Sasuke was way too high to decipher.

“Hello, Sasuke-kun,” The Third Hokage responded, “Are you feeling well?”

“Well,” Sasuke said, a little puzzled, “I don’t think I _should_ be feeling well, but I do. Is that OK?”

“Yes, of course,” The Hokage smiled, “Sasuke, there are some very important things we need to talk about, but I think it would be best if we waited until you’re feeling...better. Would that be OK with you?”

“It’s OK,” Sasuke shrugged, “We can talk now. I’m not busy.”

“Ah,” The Third Hokage said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Well perhaps just one rather urgent thing, and then we’ll talk about the rest later.”

“OK, if it’s urgent,” Sasuke nodded solemnly.

“Right,” the old man said, leaning forward a bit, “Sasuke-kun, it’s very important that we, and by we I mean the Village Council and the rest of my jounin advisors, understand what happened to you and the Uchiha clan last night. It’s a very serious matter.”

Sasuke nodded once more in agreement.

“Now, Inoichi Yamanaka, a man whom I trust a great deal, could do this very easily for us,” The Third explained, “But I have been given reason to believe that you would find this uncomfortable, and have declined to consent to him reading your mind. Is that correct?”

“I don’t know if you trust him.”

“I mean the other part, Sasuke.”

“Oh, right,” Sasuke said flatly, “I would be very scared of that, I think. I don’t want that, please.”

The Third Hokage sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes, before looking back up.

“Well, Sasuke-kun, since you are now the head of the Uchiha clan, village law dictates that I have no right to force you, as clanhead, to submit to interrogation by jutsu,” The Third folded his hands and looked seriously at Sasuke, “Still, it is vital that you tell us what happened that night, and whether Itachi told you anything of his plans.”

“That’s hard,” Sasuke said, pouting slightly.

“Hard? How so?”

“Well, very painful,” Sasuke explained calmly, “And makes it hard to breathe. Scary, too.”

“Of course,” the old man said, “Yet sometimes we must do hard things. If not me, and not Inoichi, is there someone with whom you’d feel comfortable sharing what happened? A therapist perhaps?”

“Oh,” Sasuke said, “Ms. Yuuhi said something about that. Would a therapist be...kind?”

“I,” The Third Hokage said, slightly confused, “I imagine they would be.”

“They can’t trick me.”

“Oh?”

Sasuke nodded, then leaned forward.

“I can see... _a word_ ,” Sasuke said, conspiratorially, “With my Sharingan. It shows me a word, above people's heads. If they’re mean, I’ll know.”

The Third Hokage sighed in relief, then, looking over his shoulder to make sure no nurses were around, he pulled out his tobacco pipe and lit it.

“How interesting,” The Third said, puffing pensively, “I suppose you saw Yamanaka-san’s word then, when you flashed your Sharingan at him?”

Sasuke frowned, remembering what he'd done.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I know that’s against the rules.”

“Indeed it is, my boy, however you _were_ under duress, and Yamanaka-san is not pressing charges,” The Third looked at Sasuke with a strange glint in his eye then said, “Tell me my boy, do _I_ have a word?”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke said and shrugged, “Have to look with my Sharingan. Is that OK?”

“By all means,” the Third Hokage said, then gestured for Sasuke to proceed.

“OK.”

Sasuke activated his Sharingan, which immediately told him that he was impaired, and that he was underrating the threat from several individuals in the room, and also his circumstances in general, and also there was a needle in his arm, and he should be worried, and about fifty other abstract potential dangers.

Sasuke chose to ignore those things, and instead directed his attention to the Third Hokage. Right away the word **“Protect,”** appeared, bolder and brighter than any of the words he'd seen till then, with an intense warmth and an unshakable sense that the old man indeed desired to protect Sasuke, and everyone else in his village.

“Wow,” Sasuke said, his eyes tracking the word through the air while the Third Hokage watched in amusement.

“I take it then that you see something, Sasuke-kun?” the Hokage asked, politely rousing Sasuke from his contemplation.

“Oh, yes, Hokage-sama,” Sasuke said, focusing back on the old man, “Your word says ‘Protect.’ Also it’s very nice to look at.”

“Hm, I see,” The Hokage said impassively, the corners of his lips barely not turning up into a smile, “That’s very interesting...now what about Wolf-san? Would you care to look at him?”

“Hokage-sama,” the wolf-ANBU interjected, “I don’t think it would be wise to remove my mask in a civilian’s presence.”

“You don’t have to remove it, Mr. Wolf,” Sasuke said matter-of-factly, “I can already see it.”

Sasuke turned to look at the man. Immediately upon entering his field of view, Sasuke's Sharingan suggested that standing before him was the famous “Copy-Ninja” Kakashi Hatake. Sasuke's father had said that Kakashi was a no good thief and an abomination for proudly wearing his fallen comrade’s eye like a trophy. Itachi had quietly told Sasuke that Kakashi was a very gentle, and caring commander, although his usage of the Sharingan left much to be desired. 

His word was a large, loud, and thoroughly black **“Regret.”** It made Sasuke really sad to see, like looking at an open wound, or an injured puppy. There was also something else, interwoven among the letters, another word, but it was so faint and so ethereal that Sasuke couldn’t decipher it, and anyway looking at the **“Regret”** made Sasuke feel bad.

“It says ‘Regret,’” he said, rubbing his eyes, “It’s sad to look at.”

“Hm, do you hear that, Wolf-san?” The Third Hokage said mildly, looking over in the Kakashi’s direction, “‘Sad to look at,’ says the boy. Perhaps you ought to look into that?”

“Of course, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi said, in an ANBU mask-distorted voice. Sasuke felt like that was maybe a mean thing that he had said about Kakashi, even if it was true, and considered that he should be more considerate if he tells people their words in the future. 

His Sharingan noted that he shouldn’t tell _anyone_ in the future, or ever, because it would put him in significant danger, like he was already in, and he shouldn’t make enemies of the ANBU here to guard him, and many other alarmist things that would normally have contributed to a great deal of anxiety if Sasuke had been processing them without a ton of anti-anxiety drugs in his system.

“Well, Sasuke-kun,” The Third Hokage said, groaning a little as he stood up from his chair, “We still have much to discuss regarding your situation as clanhead, but I think for the time being that will do. I would request that you avoid telling anyone else about your Sharingan’s unique ability, or indeed revealing that you have it all-”

 _I told you,_ Sasuke’s Sharingan noted.

“But that is something we can discuss in more detail later,” The Third continued, “Until then, I am going to go find our village’s _kindest_ therapist and have them sent over, as we agreed. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

“Yes, sir,” Sasuke nodded, deactivating his Sharingan and giving a thumbs-up.

“Good, good,” The Hokage replied, “Well, Uchiha-san, I will leave you then. I do hope you can find some healing, and some strength.”

“You too, sir.”

With that, the Hokage left Sasuke’s room, although the Wolf ANBU remained. Sasuke fell back asleep, and a couple of hours later he was woken up to speak with the therapist who had been found for him. They talked for a long time, and would talk again many times in the coming years. As it happened, their word was **“Gentle,”** not **“Kind,”** but Sasuke let it slide, and let himself be distracted. 

In time, he began to heal, but nothing really got better until a few months later, when he met a young man with bright-blond hair and a monster inside him.


	2. That's A Funny Lie, Now Tell Me The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: depictions of violence, reference to therapy

Sasuke’s life changed a lot, very suddenly. The biggest change was that he was alone. He was also only 9. He knew how to cook some things, rice, omurice, TKG, rice with soy sauce, that kind of thing, but that was it. He had tried eating out at restaurants, and paying with money hadn’t been too bad, since he’d paid for things at convenience stores a couple of times before, but eating alone and having everyone stare at him was very uncomfortable, so he mostly just stuck to rice.

The Stares, however, weren’t just limited to in restaurants. They followed him pretty much everywhere he went. Some seemed indignant, some horrified, but mostly they just felt very, very sad, and that made Sasuke feel worse too, worse than he usually felt, which was already pretty bad. The Stares were almost as bad as The Questions themselves, although it was mostly only the kids at school and the occasional sympathetic grocer who would levy them.

Luckily, he was able to avoid The Questions more easily than The Stares. He had stopped going to school, at his therapist’s recommendation, in order to “process things on his own” and also “to avoid accidentally sharing details of an ongoing criminal investigation.” He had always been a loner at school, so being away from the other kids didn’t bother him too much, but it did contribute to the overall mood.

That mood being loneliness. 

His therapist liked to put a positive spin on it, saying that he was “learning to be independent” and “building a lot of valuable life skills” and Sasuke guessed that was true a little bit, although “life skills” was definitely just something adults said to avoid admitting they had to do chores too. Sasuke had accrued numerous life skills since moving out.

It had been suggested, and Sasuke had very quickly agreed, that staying in the Uchiha compound might bring back “painful memories” and “unresolved trauma,” so Sasuke had used some of his  _ substantial  _ inheritance to buy an apartment in town, on the other side of the village from the (former) Uchiha compound. This meant that Sasuke was in a more or less unfamiliar place, and so one thing he did to pass the time was take walks and explore the city. To avoid prying eyes, he mostly took these walks at night or in the evening.

It’s on one of these walks, in this unfamiliar part of town, that Sasuke overhears the beginnings of an argument coming from an alley off the main street. Sasuke tenses up immediately, but it’s clear that this discussion doesn’t concern him, and anyway, it’s nothing like the way Itachi talked to him, all cold and disgusted, lies and threats.

If Sasuke had to pin the tone of this argument, he would guess “fear.”

His curiosity, however, gets the better of him, and, feeling relatively safe in the darkness, what with his black hair and black jacket, Sasuke creeps forward to observe what’s going on. 

There’s a boy, blond, around his age, very familiar, he’s standing in the alley, looking quite upset. Then, leaning out of a door a man- the grocer, Sasuke realizes- is looking around nervously, trying to dissuade this boy-so familiar, who was he?- trying to dissuade him from something.

“I ain’t gonna tell you again, Naruto,”  _ Naruto _ , “There ain’t nothing here for you! Now get out before you bring trouble!”

“But you said you’d save me some food, sir, you said you would!” Naruto’s voice is pleading, desperate, scared. Sasuke recognizes him, they were classmates, when Sasuke was still in school, but he’d never heard Naruto speak this way. Sullen, maybe, but not so raw and scared. 

“There’s nothing, you stupid brat, how many times do I have to tell you? Now get out of my sight!” The grocer’s voice is getting louder. If he’s worried about trouble, he should stay quiet, Sasuke thinks, quietly.

“Sir, please, I don’t have anything to eat this week, I’ll take anything, plea-”

Naruto’s voice is cut short by a cruel, swift strike from the man’s palm. The sound resonates through the alley and Sasuke’s Sharingan activates immediately, defensively. He’s already backing up, turning to run, keeping the grocer in his view, a word comes to mind:

But it’s too indistinct to read. Happens often with civilians, in Sasuke’s experience, he guesses it has to do with chakra or something. Anyway, the man disappears back into the building behind him, closing the door loudly. 

Sasuke looks over to Naruto, who is lying on his side in the alley, clutching his jaw and crying softly. Stronger, louder, and more painful than any he’s seen so far, a word hovers above the young boy’s head:

**“Lonely.”**

And behind it, another word, circling it like smoke, seething, roiling:

**“Hate.”**

This is unprecedented. This is  _ very dangerous,  _ Sasuke’s Sharingan reminds him. Two words. Bad sign. Father said to stay away, that’s the Demon Fox, he’s dangerous, he’ll trick us, abuse us, bad bad bad.

Sasuke deactivates his Sharingan and runs over to the boy lying in the alley.

“Naruto,” Sasuke cries out, “Naruto, are you OK?”

“Huh?” Naruto says, looking up, and then, realizing who’s talking to him, suddenly bolting upright and looking away.

“I’m fine, whatever,” Naruto says, rubbing his eye and then wincing when his hand makes contact with the red mark developing on his cheek, “That was, um, j-just a prank.”

Sasuke fixes him with an unimpressed stare that he learned from his therapist. It meant “That’s a funny lie, now please tell me the truth.” Apparently, Naruto was familiar with the expression.

“It’s fine, uh, that guy just didn’t have any food left to gi-” Naruto caught himself, “Um, to sell me, so it’s fine, I’ll go buy some somewhere else.”

Sasuke’s Sharingan was deactivated, but the Big Lie energy from Naruto would be impossible to miss for anyone paying attention, anyone not looking for an excuse to ignore him.

“I was just about to go get some food too, actually,” Sasuke said, and it’s not  _ really  _ a lie, since he was about to go home and make dinner (rice with soy sauce), but he could be persuaded to dine out. It would certainly be nice to eat without The Stares feeling quite so loud. Sasuke’s Sharingan, which occupies a place in his mind even when it’s turned off, is screaming at him that Naruto is every kind of dangerous, and that Sasuke needs to stay alone to stay safe, but Sasuke is in no mood to indulge those anxieties. 

After all, Naruto was  **“Lonely.”** Sasuke could relate. Why shouldn’t two lonely kids be lonely together? At the very least, Sasuke is certain that Naruto isn’t the type to ask Questions. He had been the only one who never did, actually, come to think of it. And wasn’t he an orphan too? Sasuke felt better and better about this idea as it formed.

“Would you like to come eat with me, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, extending a hand Naruto’s way. 

The blond boy is distrustful, has been on the receiving end of far too many cruelties that began with this particular deception. He regards the hand suspiciously, Sasuke too.

“Ramen?” Naruto asks, tentatively, hopes extremely, deliberately kept down.

“Sure,” Sasuke says easily.

And it really is that easy.

~~~

They make their way to a tiny stand called “Ichiraku Ramen.” Sasuke had been intending to go to, you know, an actual restaurant, but after a little more thought he guesses that maybe this place is the only place Naruto has ever been able to afford to eat. The young blond seems to know the owner, for one thing, and although the man doesn’t say anything, the generous portion of chashu in Sasuke’s ramen would seem to suggest that he’s happy Naruto has a friend.

Well, they’re not friends. Not really. Naruto was quiet the whole way to the restaurant, probably on guard for some kind of abandonment, and he insisted that they not talk while they eat their ramen.

“You have to eat it quick,” Naruto explained seriously, “While it’s hot, or else the noodles will get soggy and the other customers waiting to eat will get impatient!”

As it happens, there are no other customers, since it’s late at night and this part of town is quiet at the best of times, but Sasuke doesn’t want to argue the point. Besides, it’s not hard to just focus on slurping the ramen in front of him, it’s genuinely very good, classic tonkotsu, and it is a far more welcome meal than rice with soy sauce could ever be. The absence of Questions and Stares is also decidedly welcome.

They finish the ramen faster than the time it took to make the bowl (five minutes to boil the soup, one minute for the noodles) and sit in silence for a moment. Naruto is sitting back with his eyes closed, arms folded, an intense look of concentration on his face, and Sasuke takes the opportunity to pay for the ramen. Naruto doesn’t notice, lost in thought as he is. Sasuke stares for a moment, but he can’t figure out what this is supposed to be.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke inquires.

“I’m focusing on the taste of the ramen,” Naruto says, eyes still closed, “I don’t know when the next time I can get it will be, so I want to make sure I don’t forget how good it was!”

A smile plays at the corner of Sasuke’s mouth; this kid really just loves ramen, huh? 

“Well,” Sasuke says, somewhat cautiously, “How does tomorrow sound?”

Naruto is silent for a moment, then opens his eyes in recognition and looks at Sasuke.

“Wait, what?” Naruto asks, eyes shining with hope, “Seriously? And...and you want to pay again?”

“Uh, what was it, again?” Sasuke says sheepishly, “ _ You’d better believe it? _ Something like that?”

Naruto breaks into a huge smile, and nods his head.

“Yeah, something like that!” he says, grinning and lightly punching Sasuke on the arm. Sasuke flinches, but, actually, it’s fine. His Sharingan is screaming in the back of his head about the danger, but, actually, Sasuke feels at ease, somehow. Maybe he’s just full.

“OK, well,” Naruto says, getting up from his stool, “I’ll see you...here then? Tomorrow? Is that OK?”

“Yes, unless you’d like to get something else?” Sasuke says pleasantly, getting up to stand beside Naruto. He mentally wishes for dango, or maybe something sweeter...mochi? No, that’s basically rice, that would be a waste.

“Haha good one!” Naruto says, laughing brightly, to Sasuke’s ever so slight chagrin.

“OK! See you later then!” Naruto affirms, waving goodbye and running out of the restaurant, out on to the main street. Sasuke ducks out of the restaurant as well, and watches as Naruto disappears into the night, skipping and fist-pumping every so often as he runs. 

Against his better judgment, Sasuke activates his Sharingan, just before Naruto disappears from view. The distance does nothing to diminish the prominence of the word that appears above the young blond’s head, but this time that  **“Lonely”** seems ever so slightly less oppressive, ever so slightly less raw.

Sasuke feels ever so slightly the same way.

~~~

“Sasuke,” Dr. Lin repeats, “Are you there?”

Sasuke blinks quickly, coming back to reality.

“Yes, Dr.,” he responds, blushing, “I’m sorry, I got lost in thought.”

“I noticed,” his therapist remarks, “But you were smiling too, even though we were just discussing your feelings of isolation. Did you think of something positive about isolation?”

“No, it’s not that,” Sasuke says, somewhat sheepishly, “I’m just, looking forward to something later. I was just thinking about it.”

“Ah, well that’s certainly good to hear. It’s important to have things we can look forward to when life is feeling daunting, that’s a great strategy for dealing with negative emotions. Are you perhaps looking forward to the summer break?”

“Oh, no, well, I mean maybe, but not really,” Sasuke blusters, “I’m not in school right now, remember, Dr. Lin? So I don’t think summer break is going to change much for me.”

“Oh of course, Sasuke. That reminds me, Lord Third asked me to have you go over some more of these land deeds, would you mind if we took a moment to do so?”

Sasuke nods and begins to read the boring legal documents over with Dr. Lin, asking a question every once in a while when something isn’t clear to him, but he’s not really paying attention to the process. He’s thinking about meeting Naruto later for ramen. Maybe Sasuke can convince him to try tsukemen, that’s what he prefers after all.

These happy, idle thoughts follow him through the rest of the appointment, and out of the clinic, where Sasuke is suddenly confronted with the prospect of an open schedule, and time to kill. Given the time, he realizes that the Academy will be letting out in only a few minutes, for the rest of the summer, if Dr. Lin is to be believed. Perhaps he can go meet Naruto early, and they can hang out a bit before dinner. 

We could also go home, and not be in danger, and not have people stare at us, and not have to answer their Questions, Sasuke’s Sharingan supplies unhelpfully. Sasuke feels justified in blaming his Sharingan for his energy and restlessness, no doubt attempts to make him anxious, but Sasuke is in too good of a mood for once to succumb and spend the rest of the day curled in bed. He catches his reflection in a window as he passes by, and sticks out out his tongue, mocking his Sharingan, actually, so there! 

A face comes into focus from behind the window, Kakashi Hatake, reading some book in a cafe. He seems surprised and confused by Sasuke’s gesture. Neither of them yet know this, but this incident will be but one of many times that Kakashi Hatake is “owned by the youths” over the next few years. Years later, in therapy, he will point to this incident as the moment something crystallized for him: not even one single person bought his cool-aloof-guy act, not even Guy.

Sasuke makes his way through the streets, relatively deserted in the mid-afternoon sun, until he arrives at the Konoha Ninja Academy, where outside a crowd of parents are greeting and congratulating an equally large crowd of young ninja-in-training. The outskirts of the crowd seem relatively jovial and familiar, but as Sasuke approaches, he notices a small gap in the two crowds, a hole in the congregation, with a small, blond haired boy in the center. 

They’re staring at him, Sasuke realizes.

Because he’s dangerous, his Sharingan supplies, but Sasuke ignores it.

Sasuke tries to approach somewhat stealthily, so as not to draw attention, and as he does he realizes that The Stares that Naruto is receiving do not remotely skew very, very sad. They are decidedly very, very hostile, and some parents even seem to be ushering their children away, as if Naruto was offensive to them. 

Naruto. The kid who likes to sit and think about ramen because he loves it so much. Naruto, who is literally the brightest, most bubbly person Sasuke thinks he’s ever met. 

See, he’s dangerous, they know it, Sasuke’s Sharingan continues to prod, and if you go talk to him they’ll think  _ you’re dangerous too _ , and then you’ll be in danger, and you’ll be surrounded, you’ll be trapped-

Something snaps in Sasuke, and for the first time in months he feels  _ anger _ , not fear, not grief, but  _ righteous anger _ . His  _ stupid Sharingan _ should wait until he asks for it to speak, actually, and these  _ even stupider  _ villagers should know that Naruto is  _ not scary _ and that’s coming from  _ him, Sasuke,  _ who has been in a state of perpetual fear for literally months-

“Hey Naruto!” Sasuke shouts, pretending to be calling out to his dear friend, but not managing to keep the anger out of his voice. Many in the crowd turn to look at Sasuke which is  _ definitely bad definitely dangerous back down back down go go go go- _

Sasuke ignores it.

“Hey,” he says again, walking briskly over to Naruto, decidedly  _ not  _ looking at the crowd around them, “You said we could hang out today right? So let’s go!”

Naruto, who had been looking at the ground, trying to appear small, suddenly looks even smaller, even more confused. 

“Ah, Uchiha-san,” some idiot asks hesitantly, “Is he, uh, bothering you?”

“What?” Sasuke says, as he reaches Naruto, and puts his hand firmly in the other boys hand, “Of course not! He’s my  _ friend _ .” 

There are murmurs throughout the crowd immediately, some coming from the kids their age but the vast majority from their parents. 

“Shall we?” Sasuke says, once again tuning them out, and looking only at Naruto, squeezing his hand. Naruto nods, and the two leave, heading to anywhere but there, both oblivious to The Stares, both ambivalent about The Questions being raised about them. Sasuke vows then and there that they won’t be alone no more, and he keeps that promise for so, so long. 

  
  
  
  



	3. Noble Lord Uchiha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: reference to therapy

As Sasuke and Naruto hastily departed the Konoha Ninja Academy, they were bombarded with The Stares of many surprised and confused Konoha citizens, just beginning to finish their working days and head home. This made what should have been a quick escape from a single crowd into more or less of a long gauntlet through the village streets, something of an extended advertisement for Uchiha-Uzumaki solidarity. 

This is not what Sauske intended to happen, and it is getting increasingly hard to tolerate, especially with his Sharingan nagging in the back of his mind. Months of pent-up frustration had led him to make a dubiously heroic outburst, but that temporary bravery was fast running out, and being quickly replaced by crushing anxiety.

“Uh, Sasuke-kun,” Naruto says, trailing behind Sasuke as the Uchiha boy half-dragged him through the city at a significant clip, “I would like to hang out, believe it, but I was kind of wondering where we’re going? And why we’re going there so...fast?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet,” Sasuke replies, “Maybe a movie? But there will be so many people, and it will be dark. Um, the arcade? But the noise, can’t hear someone sneaking up on you, and the lights are really bright, actually, um, and-”

“Let’s just go back to my apartment!” Naruto chimes in, “I haven’t ever had a friend over before, it’ll be fun! Also, I’m getting really tired of running around, and it’s only a block away.”

Sasuke considers this. An apartment is the next safest thing to _his_ apartment, now that he thinks about it. And while Naruto isn’t _safe_ per se, he somehow makes Sasuke feel just the slightest bit less anxious. 

He’ll take it.

“OK,” Sasuke agrees, spinning around abruptly and dropping Naruto’s hand, “Let’s go. But we still have to run.”

“Wh...why tho?”

“Um,” Sasuke hums, trying to think of a normal person’s justification for running in fear from every other stranger who even looks at him, “Maybe as a fun race?”

“Oh!” Naruto brightens up immediately. It’s genuinely something to behold, if Sasuke is being honest. 

“OK! Well just try to catch me then!” the young blond says, taking off down a nearby street. He gets about twenty feet ahead of Sasuke, then looks back to make sure his self-proclaimed friend is following. Sasuke feigns disinterest for a moment, then all of a sudden rockets forward past Naruto down the same street. Naruto grins and follows after.

They’ve been standing in the center of Naruto’s apartment for a couple of minutes now. Sasuke is speechless, and Naruto is growing increasingly worried. Finally, Sasuke speaks.

“How,” he says, a note of despair growing in his voice, “How is it so _filthy in here?”_

It’s astounding. Sasuke cannot believe the mess and disarray that this apartment is in. Empty food containers and dirty dishes on _every_ surface. _Extremely_ dirty clothing on every _other_ surface, and in its own piles like some kind of inter-messiness civil war with the food and dishes. Holes in the furniture. Stains on the walls and _ceiling somehow?_ The window is caked with hopefully just dirt, and Sasuke knows, knows in his heart that the bathroom will be a sight from which his fragile mind cannot ever hope to recover.

“What?” Naruto says, confused, “Do you mean the garbage? I just forgot to take it out last week, that’s why it’s so full.”

Sasuke hadn’t noticed a garbage can. Naruto goes over to a pile of clothes and lifts it up to reveal an overflowing garbage can. Sasuke covers his mouth, is silent, and then walks over, picks up the same pile of clothes, and replaces it over its dark treasure. Sasuke returns to the center of the room and desperately tries to hold his mind together.

His own apartment isn’t _that_ clean, he’ll be the first to admit it. He had to go from doing a few chores around the house a few months ago to maintaining his own living space completely independently. He’s still learning the ropes, the “life skills” required of independent adults, and his therapist assures him that this transition is a process.

But Naruto...Naruto has been alone his whole life. So how has he somehow managed to avoid learning perhaps _any_ skill even _remotely_ resembling housekeeping?

“Sasuke, you’re freaking me out,” Naruto whines, “I thought we were going to hang out and do stuff. Do you want to have another race?”

“No, there can be no races,” Sasuke whispers, distraught. His Sharingan has been on HIGH ALERT for the past thirty minutes, well before they made it Naruto’s flat, but even it is speechless in the face of this overwhelming chaos.

“That’s kind of a weird way to say that,” Naruto says good-naturedly, “But OK. Want to go pull a prank on Grandpa Hokage? I’ve got this pepper that I sto- that I found and we could put it in his pipe, and then when he smokes it it’ll be like: whoa! That’s not whatever is in pipes normally! Hahaha.”

Sasuke remains still while Naruto laughs at his own idea. Sasuke...cannot tolerate this. This is beyond anxiety. This is an existential threat. Sasuke didn’t even know that word, but seeing this mess gave him the divine inspiration needed to understand: this is not a place of God.

“Naruto,” Sasuke says calmly, because he doesn’t want to scare Naruto even if he wants to maybe murder him for creating this unholy place, “I’m going to clean your apartment. When it’s clean, then we can hang out.”

Naruto looks at him confused, then looks around the apartment. Sasuke watches in horror as Naruto’s eyes pass over instance after instance of cleanable-mess without so much as a spark of recognition. 

“Like,” Naruto says, machinery in his brain working to understand Sasuke’s proposal, “You’ll...wash…”

Sasuke nods expectantly. He’s so close.

“Your hands?” is what Naruto lands on, and Sasuke withers, part of his humanity now permanently gone.

“My hands will never be clean after having been in this place,” Sasuke intones, “But first I’m going to wash the dishes.”

“Why?”

“I- Beca- You-” Sasuke cannot explain, and so just goes over to the sink to start this marathon. He looks in the cupboard underneath and there is a single bottle of dish soap, and a sponge, untouched and caked in years of dust. He retrieves it, at this point grateful that soap can even exist in a place like this.

“Whoa that opens?” Naruto exclaims, running over to look inside.Sasuke shakes his head and turns on the hot water. Nothing comes out. He turns on the cold water instead. Nothing. He notices, at this point, that the lights room are off. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke asks slowly, “Do you...have electricity? Hydro?”

“Oh for sure,” Naruto says, “Just only for one hour, around 10PM. That’s when it’s cheapest, so the power company gives it to me for free! Pretty good deal, huh?”

A lot of things click into place for Sasuke at that moment, a lot of hypothetical explanations become suddenly obvious. This **“Lonely”** boy has not had an easy life, that much is shockingly clear. Sasuke thinks back to the first weeks after he lost his parents, and the all-encompassing crushing despair that came from knowing with certainty that you were alone. Sasuke had had Dr. Lin to help talk him through that period, to give him some semblance of hope. He had only really suffered alone in that way for a few weeks.

Naruto had been alone like that for his whole life.

“Actually, I have a better idea,” Sasuke says, putting down the soap and sponge and turning to face Naruto, “Why don’t we have...a sleepover?” 

Naruto stares at him blankly.

“What’s that?” the blond orphan inquires, and now Sasuke _knows_ that he needs to protect this boy, Sharingan be damned. 

So Sasuke explains what a sleepover literally is, and Naruto is of course hesitant but also so deeply hopeful because this definitely does sound like something you would do with a _friend,_ and Sasuke _is his friend now_ , and he even asks to make sure, and Sasuke agrees which is just impossible to understand but Naruto isn’t going to question it. 

They pack some things for the night, and for some reason Sasuke insists on bringing basically _all_ of Naruto’s dirty clothes because apparently he was “going to do laundry anyway” so they might as well wash them, which seems OK to Naruto. Naruto tries to carry it all on his back but Sasuke stops him, pulls out a storage scroll, which apparently normal people can afford quite easily and use all the time, and simply puts the clothes inside it, which is wild but OK. Sasuke begins to ask something about a toothbrush, but stops himself, and says they’ll stop by the pharmacy on the way home. Naruto goes with it, of course, because even though all of this is almost certainly a dream, it’s the nicest one he’s had in a long time, and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

They set off for Sasuke’s apartment, which isn’t too far away, since they live on the same side of town. 

“So, uh,” Naruto says, because what he lacks in tact he makes up for in curiosity, “Why did you stop coming to school? Did you graduate already or something?”

Sasuke looks over at his companion with a look of such incredulity and confusion that Naruto actually blushes, although he doesn’t know what he did wrong.

“No, Naruto, I, um,” Sasuke begins, looking away from Naruto suddenly, instead staring at the ground very intently, “My...my therapist said it might be good for me to take some time away, to get a break from all the, The Questions.” 

“What questions?” Naruto asks, unaware of the irony.

“Um, like,” Sasuke says, inhaling shakily, “Where are your parents? Where’s your brother? Is it true? Did you see it? Are you going to kill him? Um...that kind of thing. It gets...it’s a lot, when people are asking you all the time.”

Naruto feels as if a puzzle has been laid out before him, some event that only be uncovered through using context clues, and that sort of thing is extremely boring to him so he disregards it.

“Oh, well that’s cool I guess,” Naruto says, if only to progress the conversation back to a point where he can contribute, “But wait a sec, what’s a therapist?”

“What?”

“You mentioned your therapist told you to go, is that like, an uncle?” Naruto searches for more family-member words which he has never had a real use for in his life, “Maybe like...a cousin?”

“I- No, they’re not like that. A therapist is a doctor who helps you deal with, like, your mental health, and, and like, trauma.”

“Like a dentist?”

“You’ve been to a dentist? Sasuke asks, eyes flicking over to the pharmacy towards which they were currently headed.

“No,” Naruto replies sadly.

“Oh, that’s OK,” Sasuke says very convincingly. Then he has a thought. 

“Naruto, I bet you could get a therapist too. I could help you, since I’ve done it.”

“Oh, OK? But I don’t...I don’t know if I can pay for one.”

“I’ll pay, or actually, I’ll make the Hokage pay for it.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea! He pays for my school too, so I bet he would do it.”

“Good,” Sasuke says smiling, “Then it’s settled. We’ll grab you a toothbrush and then go find someone to take us to the Hokage.”

They duck into the pharmacy and Sasuke tells Naruto to go grab a toothbrush and toothpaste. The pharmacist sees them come in and begins to say something, but Sasuke shoots her a withering glare (for a nine-year old) and she doesn’t finish her thought. Then he hears a voice from behind him say his name.

He whirls around immediately, because being a cool tough guy is actually extremely stressful even if it’s for Naruto, and his anxiety is already climbing, and there’s someone behind him-

“Hello, Sasuke-kun,” Kurenai Yuuhi says, seeming a little amused at his jumpiness, “It’s nice to see you again. How are you doing?”

“Oh, Ms. Yuuhi,” Sasuke says, blushing, “Hello, I’m very well, how are you?”

“That’s good to hear,” Kurenai says, smiling, “I’m doing well too. Are y-”

She’s cut off by Naruto, who rushes over to Sasuke, holding a bright orange toothbrush and a tube of equally orange toothpaste. Orange-flavoured too, somehow. 

“Sasuke check this out it says it can literally _kill plaque,_ whatever that is-” he stops when he notices Kurenai standing there. For her part, Kurenai seems only mildly shocked to see the two of them together.

“Ah, Uzumaki-san,” she says, looking back and forth between the two boys in front of her, “You’re here with Sasuke-kun?”

“Um, yes, ma’am,” Naruto says, suddenly looking very guilty, “But I was just getting this for him, I wasn’t-”

“He was just picking me out a toothbrush,” Sasuke finishes for Naruto, who shoots him a grateful look, “But Ms. Yuuhi, it’s actually very lucky that we ran into you!”

“Oh?” Kurenai says, cocking her head to the side slightly, “And why is that?”

“Well, I wanted to get a therapist for Naruto here too, and I was wondering if you knew how we could do that? He doesn’t have any parents, so I think actually he might be a clanhead too, if that matters.”

Kurenai blinks a few times in surprise, but otherwise remains rather composed. Inwardly, she feels a deep sense of pride for potentially starting a therapy trend in Konoha.

“Well, Sasuke-kun,” she begins, considering what to say, “I believe Lord Third is technically his guardian, although it would be difficult to simply go talk to him, since he’s very busy.”

“He’ll make time for me. I’m the Uchiha clan head.”

Kurenai giggles at Sasuke’s defiant proclamation, but nods her head.

“Well, you’re probably right,” she concedes, “I don’t know if there are any kids in this village who concern Lord Third more than you two at the moment. I can tell him you wish to speak with him as your ‘Official Messenger To The Hokage,’ and then he’ll have to schedule time to meet you, according to village laws. Sound good?”

Sasuke nods, and Naruto, extremely not following this exchange, tentatively looks over to see Sasuke’s reaction before timidly mimicking his friend’s nod.

“Excellent,” Kurenai says, “Then I will go deliver your message, Noble Lord Uchiha.” As she addresses him, Kurenai makes an exaggerated bow.

“OK, very good,” Sasuke says, folding his arms and trying to evoke his father’s manner of speech, “See to it that it’s what you do. Uh, you’re distinct.”

“Dismissed.”

“Oh, right. You’re _dismissed_.”

Kurenai grins cheekily, then disappears from the store in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto looks over at Sasuke, mouth agape. He can’t believe what he just saw.

“You’re _The Uchiha clan head?”_ Naruto exclaims in bewilderment, “But you’re- you’re just only my age! How did you do that?”

“Mm,” Sasuke hums, as he deftly snatches the toothbrush and toothpaste from Naruto’s hands, “I’m just that good of a ninja, of course.”

Naruto watches, awestruck as Sasuke goes over to the pharmacist and pays for his things. He’s in awe the whole rest of the way to Sasuke’s apartment, one thought consuming him all the while:

_Is this...the power of therapy?_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is definitely going to go back to Naruto's apartment and clean the whole thing at a later date, he just needs to devise a plan of attack first :P  
> I can't believe the attention this fic is getting >///< Is this the power of an actually popular pairing??? I feel really guilty that the writing is so sloppy, but I have to get my words in! Nanowrimo will accept no compromise!


	4. They're All Wrong, And I'll Prove It

Sasuke unlocks the door to his apartment, which makes him feel cool, like a real adult who has keys to real things, and he leads Naruto inside, turning on the lights and escorting all of Naruto’s laundry to the appropriate machines. Yes, Sasuke has both a washing machine and a dryer in his apartment; that Uchiha money is nothing to scoff at.

On a related note, Sasuke gestures for Naruto to take a seat on one of Sasuke’s two weird shaped couches, or “sectionals” as he has been delighted to say since buying them. Naruto seems a little overwhelmed by the space and relative tidiness of it, so Sasuke waits a moment before saying anything. Still, he can’t avoid it much longer.

“Naruto,” Sasuke begins hesitantly, “Yuuhi-san mentioned before that The Third Hokage is your guardian, is that true?”

“Um, I think so?” Naruto says, somewhat unsure, “I don’t really know what a guardian  _ is, _ but lots of people have told me that he is mine, so I guess he is. I don’t see him that much anymore though.”

“Anymore?” Sasuke quietly adopts the posture of his therapist, and takes on a gentle but curious tone. Acting is something he feels rather good at after the advent of his Sharingan.

“Yeah, he used to come visit sometimes, and bring me food and stuff, but he hasn’t come around in a few months.”

“What about when you were like, really small, who took care of you then?”

“Oh! It’s actually kind of cool, I didn’t realize it, but there was an ANBU guy following me around, and he’d make me food and keep me from getting hurt and stuff. But he left a  _ long _ time ago.”

Sasuke really doesn’t want to know the answer to this question, but at the same time he  _ has  _ to know, especially after seeing Naruto’s apartment.

“How old were you when the ANBU guy left?”

“Well I don’t really know, you know?” Naruto says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, “They’re pretty sneaky. He might still be around, although if he was he doesn’t really help me out much, haha. The last time I saw him f _ or sure _ was around when I was six, I think? Right before we started school.”

_ Fuck. _

Sasuke doesn’t think this, of course, because he’s a polite young boy and wouldn’t curse so vulgarly, but the sentiment is about the same. 

“But,” Sasuke sputters, unable to maintain the therapist facade, “That’s so awful! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Huh? What doesn’t?”

“That’s  _ really sad, Naruto _ ,” Sasuke says in exasperation, “And everyone must have known, my  _ parents _ at least must have known, so why would they all be so mean to you? Why would they warn me about you when you don’t even know how to do  _ laundry _ ?”

“Actually, I don’t have to do laundry, because I found this cool, orange jumpsuit and it doesn’t even need to be washed-” 

Suddenly Naruto’s face screws up as something clicks.

“Wait,” he asks slowly, “Your parents... _ warned _ you about me? Like, they said I’m dangerous?”

“Yes!” Sasuke shouts, frustrated but also grateful that Naruto is starting to see his point, “ _ Everyone’s  _ parents did that, we all knew we’re not supposed to get close to you!”

“What…” Naruto says quietly, “But...what...why..?”

“I don’t know why!” Sasuke continues, and it’s actually really good. It’s cathartic. He’d suppressed his anger for so long, anger at Itachi, anger at his parents, anger at the world, because he was a polite young boy and he was afraid but seeing Naruto suffer so pointlessly brought it all into relief.

_ This is fucked. This whole thing is fucked. _

Sasuke’s crying now, loud tears to match the silent ones trickling down Naruto’s cheeks. Yes, he’s furious with how people have treated Naruto, how he was  _ complicit  _ in it, and he didn’t even know, but that wrong is slowly but surely catalyzing a much broader, deeper anger at the circumstances of his life in general. The unfairness of it. If there’s one thing Sasuke won’t tolerate, it’s unfairness.

In another world, it still wouldn’t be enough. Even knowing about Naruto’s past, it wouldn’t be enough, the deeply  _ impersonal  _ alienation of Naruto’s whole childhood wouldn’t cut through to the deeply  _ personal  _ trauma that Sasuke had experienced. It would be like a cry in a foreign language to him, raw and sad but unintelligible. 

In this world, however, it is more than enough. In this world, Sasuke feels lonely first, and recognized that Naruto is  **“Lonely”** in turn. In this world, Itachi is  **“Kind”** in a way that Sasuke viscerally cannot deny, and that produces in him a cognitive dissonance that cannot be tolerated. How could someone kind do something so evil? How could a village that has been kind, if overbearing to him, treat someone in a much worse circumstance with such disdain?

Sasuke is one step away from understanding it, but in that moment, all he feels is pain, his and Naruto’s.

Naruto, for his part, has never seen someone cry for him. He’s been on the receiving end of a level of kindness and concern that he has genuinely never received before, and he is struggling to process it, struggling to reconcile it with the dark, hateful voice in him that tells him he will never be loved, that he is a monster deep down. 

For Naruto, this is more than enough. To see Sasuke cry for him is enough to realize with absolute certainty that he will do whatever it takes to keep this boy from ever crying again. 

And as corny as it seems, in that moment he really does believe it.

The two of them sit in Sasuke’s apartment for a moment, neither really knowing how to proceed after such an outburst. They sit in silence for some time, making hesitant eye contact from time to time but looking away, until finally the washing machine makes a noise, and Sasuke excuses himself to go deal with it. Naruto comes over too and watches with interest as Sasuke transfers the huge load of Naruto’s clothes and his own to the dryer.

“We never used this one at home,” Sasuke says quietly, as he turns on the machine.

“Me neither,” Naruto agrees, feeling included.

Sasuke gives him a wry smile.

“We would use a fire jutsu on the laundry,” Sasuke explains, “A really gentle one that would dry the clothes super fast.”

“Show me?” Naruto inquires, as the pair return by default to the sectionals.

“I, um, no,” Sasuke says, blushing and looking away, “I haven’t really done any jutsu since...um, since I left school, so I don’t think I would be able to do it right.”

“Huh? Why not? Is that why you stopped going, because you don’t like doing jutsu?”

Sasuke grimaces. The truth is more complicated, but it’s more or less the same reason that he has been uncomfortable using his Sharingan: channeling chakra for a jutsu is  _ energizing,  _ basically by definition, and being energized for Sasuke the past few months has meant being anxious. In moments of relatively low stress, he has dealt with this anxiety by going for walks (away from the village, to avoid The Stares of course) but when that hasn’t been an option or he’s been too stressed out, his only way to deal with it has been to curl into a ball in his room and wait to feel better. That can take all day.

Naruto picks up on this reaction before Sasuke can even speak.

“Well, whatever, it’s not a big deal,” Naruto says easily, “You were the number one in class anyway, so I bet you don’t even need to go to school, believe it!”

Sasukes giggles a bit at this despite himself, the wave of apprehension he’d been feeling subsiding quietly.

“Maybe you’re right,” the young Uchiha concedes, “But now the number one spot is vacant. You can take my throne!”

“Ah, haha, I don’t know about that,” Naruto says sheepishly, “I’m not really the best student, I guess.”

Sasuke’s first instinct is to say something like “well maybe you should study more!” but in light of what he’s learned about Naruto’s living situation, he quickly reconsiders. The injustice of all their teachers calling Naruto a slacker when he has no one to even help him with his homework is not lost on Sasuke. Hell, most of what Sasuke knows he learned from training with Itachi, and no one in his class had that privilege except him. 

An idea begins to form in Sasuke’s head.

“You know, Naruto,” he says nonchalantly, “I could show  _ you _ how to do the Laundry Drying no Jutsu if you’d like. It’s pretty easy.”

“Yeah, maybe for you,” Naruto responds, “But I suck at stuff like that! Jutsu are just way too hard, you know!”

Sasuke does not know. He has succeeded in pretty much every jutsu he’s ever tried to learn, and he suspects that with his Sharingan that process will be even easier. Luckily, by now it has occurred to Sasuke to empathize with people, especially Naruto, and so he again bites his tongue. Still, the idea that Naruto has been denied the resources to which Sasuke has had access his whole life motivates him to do  _ something _ .

“Come on,” Sasuke says, extending his hand to Naruto, “I’m the Uchiha Clan Head remember? If anyone can teach you it’s me! Believe in it, right?”

Naruto narrows his eyes, but he has by this point decided to trust Sasuke more or less implicitly. 

“Believe it,” the young blond says quietly, taking the young Uchiha’s hand in his. Sasuke smiles wide, and despite his Sharingan yelling warnings at him like “stop arming the dangerous person! You’re helping the outcast everyone will judge you!” nevertheless he feels optimistic. Excited, too, and not in an uncomfortable, overly-energetic way, just in a pleasant, bubbly way. It must be Naruto’s fault again, he’s sure of it.

The two of them spend the next few hours practicing the Laundry Drying no Jutsu in Sasuke’s living room. A significant portion of time is spent moving the sectionals out of the way, which is a lot harder for the two nine-year olds than it was for the delivery guys who brought them in the first place. Eventually however they’re able to clear a sufficient space, and Sasuke goes with the hand seals and general idea of the jutsu with Naruto, the way Itachi taught it to him. For his part, Naruto is attentive and asks questions when he’s unsure of something, and Sasuke does his best to answer patiently and constructively. In general, it’s quite a good session of instruction.

This makes it all the more frustrating when Naruto is utterly unable to perform the jutsu. It’s not his hand seals; the jutsu only needs four and Naruto has those down. It’s not his breathing, if anything, Naruto seems to have a particular affinity for breathing in the air properly and blowing it out forcefully. It must have to do with the chakra. Sasuke tries to explain things verbally, but he doesn’t have a perfect grasp on the mechanics himself, and after all chakra is a totally internal phenomenon; it’s hard to explain how it  _ feels _ because that feeling is so personalized.

They’re both getting frustrated, and eventually Naruto grumbles off-handedly that he wishes Sasuke could just  _ see his chakra _ and tell him what he’s doing wrong.

That...that makes it kind of obvious, in hindsight. Sasuke checks that Naruto is OK with it, then activates his Sharingan.

_ Danger danger danger danger- _

He ignores the useless part, although it’s much harder now; with his Sharingan activated the voice has a bevy of sensory data to support its many reactionary ideas. Instead. Sasuke instructs Naruto to perform the jutsu again, and this time he focuses in on the tiny fluctuations in Naruto’s chakra.

Absently, he also takes notice of the word  **“Lonely”** floating above Naruto’s head, present but not very forward, as well as  **“Hate”** roiling angrily beneath it. That really demands an explanation, but Sasuke is busy at the moment and so he puts the thought aside. 

First Naruto inhales, and Sasuke sees chakra flow into Naruto’s breath. More than is probably necessary, but it shouldn’t be a problem.

Next, Naruto performs the hand seals that will for lack of a better word “create” the jutsu, changing it from chakra to something physical. This Naruto is also able to achieve, although again, using way more chakra than is necessary. Typically a ninja will use increased chakra at this stage if they’re worried about their jutsu being impaired, or if they want to skip doing some hand seals. It’s fine though, the jutsu manifests properly.

Finally, Naruto channels the chakra through his body to transfer the waiting jutsu from inside him to the outside world. Way more chakra than is necessary, which Sasuke is kind of just getting used to at this point but then something  _ off.  _ The chakra flow goes wild, like a candle flickering in the wind, as if Naruto is deliberately disrupting his own chakra, the way one might if trying to overcome a genjutsu.

The jutsu fails, and Naruto flops on the ground in exasperation. Sasuke’s Sharingan supplies that Naruto is probably just doing this to get Sasuke agitated, just tricking him into thinking he’s weak before he strikes, and Sasuke won’t be safe because they’re  _ in his apartment already _ and there’s no where to run-

Sasuke deactivates his Anxiety Eyes. 

“Something disrupted your chakra flow,” Sasuke reports, sitting down beside Naruto as the frustrated blond turns over onto his back to listen, “You were doing everything right, well, maybe with a bit more chakra than is necessary, but right at the end your chakra flow spazzed out. It’s weird.”

Naruto takes this in and then looks away dejectedly.

“Yeah, I know,” Naruto says, “I’m weird and broken, you should know that by now. Everyone else already does.”

“ _ You’re  _ not weird,” Sasuke says patiently, turning Naruto’s head back to look at him, “Your  _ chakra _ is weird, but so is lots of people’s. That’s just how ninja are. And besides if you’re broken-”

Sasuke hops to his feet, extending a hand down to help Naruto up too.

“-Then I’ll fix you.”

"Sasuke," Naruto says, sitting up but not yet accept Sasuke's offer, "Everyone says it. I don't want to say you should believe it, but..."

"Don't listen to them," Sasuke huffs, and his eyes are so intent, Naruto can't help but listen, "They're all wrong, and I'll prove it."

Naruto takes Sasuke’s hand, and gets to his feet, wiping his eyes with his other orange sleeve. I guess he  _ is _ the damn clan head, after all, Naruto thinks, since he does actually know a few swears. 

_ So bossy. _

Sasuke instructs Naruto to try the jutsu one last time. This time, however, Sasuke stands behind him, and focuses a little chakra through his palms, placing them on Naruto’s back. A bit like a lightning rod, the idea is to be the chakra that Naruto’s violently flaring chakra disrupts. If Sasuke’s control is good enough, then he can even  _ resist  _ that disruption, maybe long enough for Naruto to complete the jutsu.

They’re ready. Naruto inhales deeply, and he pours chakra into that air. He goes through the hand seals, and pours chakra into those forms. He-

**_HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE_ **

-he listens to the deafening voice screaming inside his head that appears every time he tries to perform a jutsu but this time- it’s quieter. It gets even quieter. His whole body feels like it’s shaking until gradually it doesn’t. He feels something warm on his shoulders instead, like a towel fresh from the place where warm towels come from he’s not sure, and that voice trying to swat at that sensation instead of shake him apart-

-and then there’s hot, hot air in his mouth, and he’s not expecting it, he’s gotten a little distracted, but he squeezes his stomach muscles anyway and tries to  _ push  _ it out like Sasuke told him-

And push it out he does, with a strength ten times what is appropriate for this jutsu. This phenomenon is in fact identical to the way that rockets function, and in this case the result is the same: Naruto, and Sasuke behind him, are sent flying backwards through the air as Naruto dries the single shirt he had been aiming at with startling intensity. 

Luckily they had repositioned the sectionals in Sasuke’s living room and the two boys land directly on top of one, bounce,and land on the one behind that. 

They look at eeachother, both bewildered and afraid. Sasuke looks like he’s about to have a heart-attack, and Naruto is worried he just set a shirt on fire, but slowly Sasuke starts to giggle, and then chuckle and then he’s laughing, and Naruto can’t help but start laughing too at the craziness of it all. The two of them start cheering and dancing around, celebrating the successful jutsu and the parading around a brittle, utterly desiccated t-shirt. The noise is enough to wake the neighbours, but Sasuke doesn’t give a  _ fuck _ .

From the window outside, a man in an ANBU Mask shaped like a Wolf’s head watches silently, before disappearing in a whirlwind of leaves, headed in the direction of the Hokage Tower. He reappears a brief distance away before disappearing again, and as he makes his way towards the center of the village, he wonders idly how one boy could do more to help another than he has in nine years. 

Maybe he’ll talk to Kurenai later, if he gets the chance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing Naruto doesn't have a Fire Nature, of they would have actually blown up Sasuke's apartment! 
> 
> What do you guys think of the pacing so far? They said they were going to get ramen again like 3 chapters ago and they still haven't gotten around to it. Can you blame these boys tho?   
> (Author's Note: blaming these boys WILL NOT BE TOLERATED)


	5. For Sasuke's Honour, Then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: descriptions of panic attack, descriptions of trouble breathing, reference to therapy

Having torn apart Sasuke’s living room with his jutsu, Naruto and Sasuke both agree that it would be best if they stopped training for the moment. Sasuke suggests that Naruto take a shower while he cleans up the mess, and Naruto agrees, dashing off to the bathroom. Sasuke waits till he hears the water turn on, and Naruto yelp in surprise from the phenomenon of  _ hot  _ water, then finally allows himself to fall back onto the couch, heart racing.

He really needs to stop trying to be a hero. Why did he think that channeling chakra to help Naruto with his jutsu would be any less stressful than just doing the jutsu himself? He can still feel it vibrating in his body, suffusing him with energy. 

Anxious energy. His every instinct is to run, hide, escape, retreat, get safe get safe get safe, but he’s already in his own apartment and he  _ can’t  _ go anywhere else and besides Naruto is here now he can’t just go hide in his bedroom-

It’s too much. Sasuke jumps to his feet. Starts pacing. Starts breathing faster. Starts pacing faster. The room begins to spin. His head begins to spin. He starts breathing faster. He starts pacing faster but he can’t pace fast enough, and the room is too small, and so he falls on his knees, starts breathing faster, and there’s blood-

“Hey,” Naruto says from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and Sasuke almost jumps a full five feet in the air but he’s actually hyperventilating and that somehow still requires most of his concentration.

“I’m done showering, do you want to go get ramen now?” Naruto asks, leaning over to look at Sasuke in the face.

“Y-y-y-” Sasuke tries to say, and it’s hard because his breathes are only coming in very short intervals. “You were. Only in there. For like. Two minutes. How. Are you done?”

“Um, it’s a shower, Sasuke?” Naruto says snidely, “The water comes at you really fast. I could have gone faster but I had to figure out how to make it less hot, which I did by the way, believe it.”

“Sha-” Sasuke grits out, “Shampoo. Naruto. Soap. Scrubbing. Please.”

Naruto looks at him with concern, and suddenly realizes that Sasuke is not doing particularly hot.

“Sasuke, are you OK?” Naruto says, kneeling in front of the young Uchiha to get a better look at him, “You’re not making any sense. What’s shampoo?”

Sasuke faints.

It isn’t for long. His body just needs to take some time to readjust his oxygen and CO2 levels, and that’s easier when one’s breathing is on autopilot. Sasuke wakes up to see a very, very panicked Naruto, a cordless phone discarded on the ground, and a bowl of gently steaming water. Unsurprisingly, Sasuke does not immediately parse what is going on, but nonetheless he sits up, and rubs his eyes.

“What…” he asks blearily, “What happened? Is everything OK?”

“ _ Is  _ everything OK?” Naruto asks, eyes wide and anxiety deeply apparent in his expression, “You literally stopped breathing and fell on the ground! And I couldn’t wake you up!”

“Oh,” Sasuke says, still a little foggy, “ _ Oh _ . Naruto, I’m so-”

“So I thought you were playing a prank on me, but then you didn’t get up, and I got scared, even if maybe it was a prank? Was it? A prank? Sasuke?”

“No, not a prank,” Sasuke says, feeling ashamed, “More like um, a panic attack?”

“Panic? Who’s that? They attacked you?  _ Are they invisible- _ ”

“No, that’s not-” Sasuke sighs, shame not helped by having to explain this, “I got scared and forgot how to breathe. That’s all. From using chakra. It was too scary.”

Naruto’s eyes narrow a little bit, and he cocks his head to the side, not really understanding Sasuke’s explanation.

“Why,” Sasuke says, “Why is my phone on the ground?”

“Oh, um,” Naruto looks around guiltily, “I’m sorry, I tried to pick it up because I was going to call 991-”

“It’s 911.”

“Oh. Right. So I tried to call that but I must have broke the cord somehow and I couldn’t figure out how to make it stick back together, so I um, I just dropped it, I’m really sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Sasuke says, a little bit in awe of how much concern Naruto was showing for him. It reminded him of the panicked way adults tried to talk to him these days, as if they knew they had to help but had no idea what to say. Well, except Dr. Lin. She didn’t really panic. 

“And the water?” Sasuke asks.

“Hm?” 

“The bowl of water beside you. Were you going to throw that on me?”

“Oh!” Naruto says, suddenly understanding, “No, um, I wasn’t sure what I could do to help, but I remembered that when I was sick as a kid lots of people would tell me to just drink some hot water, so I thought I should get you some, but I didn’t know how much, so I just found this bowl in your kitchen-”

Naruto gestures over to the kitchen, which has been totally ransacked, presumably in a mad quest for the bowl now lying in front of him.

“-And then I ran to the shower to fill it as fast as possible-”

“Hold on,” Sasuke says, leaning forward and holding up his hands, “You were going to give me  _ shower water? _ ”

“Yes!” Naruto says, glad Sasuke understands. Sasuke doesn’t look pleased.

“Yes?” Naruto says again, less sure of himself.

Sasuke looks at Naruto, down at the water and then back at him. He feels a laughing fit coming on, which would make it hard to breathe, which would scare Naruto again, and then he might get mad-

Sasuke shuts down that line of thought, which is certainly coming from his Sharingan. Naruto would not get mad. Sasuke cannot even picture such a thing. Naruto is literally the  _ least threatening person  _ he has ever seen. He’s anti-threatening. He’s warmth. He’s...he’s a bowl of hot shower water.

Sasuke stands up. Goes over to the bowl of water, picks it up, and pours it over Naruto’s head. 

“Hey!” Naruto says indignantly, immediately getting up too, “What the heck, Sasuke, that was for  _ drinking _ !”

“You needed another shower,” Sasuke says, turning away and smiling, “Now go get a change of clothes from the dryer, we’re going out.”

Naruto grumbles at him, mentions something about a stupid Laundry Drying no jutsu, could have used it there if he wasn’t such a  _ jerk _ , grumble grumble, but he does as he told anyway. Sasuke brings the bowl over to his kitchen and places it back in the cupboard from whence it came, now the only occupant as all the others have been strewn across the floor. Sasuke takes this in, then, realizing something, removes the bowl he had just put away. He looks it over to confirm what he had thought: 

The bowl was large, yes, but more strikingly it was bright orange, and with a stylized image of the sun painted on the outside. 

_ Yeah, that seems about right. _

Naruto changes into a new pair of clothes, and they make their way to Ichiraku Ramen again, at Naruto’s insistence as compensation for Sasuke getting his favourite orange jumpsuit wet. Sasuke obliges, since Ichiraku is actually fairly secluded compared to other restaurants, and the risk of being trapped in a booth surrounded by adults staring mournfully at him is roughly 0%, given the ramen shop’s layout. 

When they arrive, there are two other people already sitting at the restaurant, Kurenai Yuuhi and a man who Sasuke recognizes as Kakashi Hatake. Kurenai waves as they approach, and Kakashi maybe smiles? The silver-haired ninja has a facemask on, covering his mouth,and his hitai-ate seems to have fallen to cover his left eye, most likely due to negligence and general slovenly behaviour, Sasuke thinks. What a sadsack.

“Yuuhi-san, Hatake-san,” Sasuke says, bowing slightly, “What a surprise to see you here again. You aren’t following us are you?”

“Haha, hello, Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun” Kurenai says warmly, “No, I was running an errand for you, remember? You wanted to speak to the Hokage about something, so I gave him your request for an audience.”

Sasuke nods in agreement. He wanted to find a therapist for Naruto, and presumably the Third Hokage needed to be involved in that process, being Naruto’s guardian and all.

“Well, congratulations!” Kurenai says, “Your request has been granted. If you’d like, I can take you to see him myself.”

“That’s OK, Ms. Yuuhi,” Sasuke says, “We wanted to get some ramen first. Hey, that reminds me, how did you know we’d be here?”

Kurenai looks slyly over at Kakashi, who looks away nonchalantly, definitely invested in the novel he’s reading and not paying attention to this conversation.

“I received a tip that Naruto likes ramen,” Kurenai says, shrugging, “I figured I would find him here and just ask him where you were. Looks like my plan worked flawlessly.”

Sasuke’s Sharingan tells him that this is not true, but it also says that of everything anyone says to him, so he ignores it. The real answer is probably somewhere along the lines of “Yuuhi-san has the basic skills expected of a ninja, and is able to perform them adequately” which is not really a huge red flag in Sasuke’s mind. The fact that Sadkashi is here though feels like maybe too much to be a coincidence, especially given that the latter is not actually eating any ramen. 

“Actually, I think I would like to go see the Hokage now,” Sasuke says, “Naruto would that be OK? It’ll just be a quick meeting and then I’ll come back and we can eat.”

“Sasuke I  _ told  _ you,” Naruto explains patiently, “You have to eat ramen  _ right away _ , I can’t just sit here waiting for you while my ramen dies, that would be a tragedy.”

“OK, well how about this,” Sasuke offers, “I’ll go and you can eat your ramen right away, then when I get back I’ll order and you can get seconds.”

“OK, bye, Sasuke!” Naruto says, turning to the ramen chef to order his first bowl of  _ two _ .

“Hatake-san, would you escort me to the Hokage’s office?” Sasuke says, doing his best to seem like a poor, parentless boy, who’s suffered so much you know, “I feel bad for making Yuuhi-san run around the village so much already.”

Kakashi shoots a glance at Naruto, then at Kurenai, who gives him a thumbs up, to which he scowls, to which she sticks out her tongue, but in the end he seems to relent.

“Of course, Uchiha-san,” Kakashi says, standing up and putting away his book, “Please, follow me.”

Sasuke does so, and waves at Naruto, who allots a fraction of a second to wave back before returning to devour his ramen. As they walk away, Kurenai looks around and then, not really having much else to do at the moment, sits down beside Naruto, and orders some gyoza.

“So, Naruto-kun,” Kurenai says conversationally, “It’s become a bit of gossip around town that you and Sasuke are now Official Friends, or something similar. Care to comment?”

Naruto flashes her a look, his mouth full of ramen, before returning to his bowl. 

“Well, I’m inclined to ‘believe it,’ heh,“ Kurenai continues, chuckling to herself, “Honestly, it’s really good to see Sasuke making friends with someone his age. He definitely needs one at a time like this.”

Naruto looks up again, swallows a huge mouthful of ramen.

“A time like what?” Naruto asks bluntly.

Kurenai looks at him increduously. He looks back, unaware. She raises her eyebrows. He furrows his brow. Finally she sighs. Somehow, Naruto really doesn’t know, really hasn’t realized.

“Naruto,” Kurenai says seriously, “Sasuke’s parents were killed just a few months ago. It was his brother Itachi who did it. He’s been alone since then. You didn’t know about this?”

Naruto drops his chopsticks, something he has never once done while in the process of eating ramen. 

“Is that…” he whispers, a look of horror on his face, “Is that really true, Yuuhi-san? You’re not just trying to trick me?” 

Kurenai makes a mental note to cuss out the Hokage to Asuma later on. 

“No, Naruto, I would never do that,” Kurenai says, “I’m being serious. Sasuke’s in a really vulnerable place right now, and he doesn’t have a lot of people to look out for him, so the fact that you two seem to have become friends really puts my heart at ease.”

“‘Puts your heart at ease,’ huh” Naruto repeats, processing something, “Does that mean you care about him too, Yuuhi-san?”

“Of course,” Kurenai says without hesitation, “Knowing about his life, what he’s been through, how could someone not? Besides, as a jounin of this village it’s my  _ duty _ to care about all its citizens, especially the most vulnerable.”

“Maybe...like a therapist?”

“Hell yeah,” Kurenai agrees, reveling in the comparison, “Except I’d be one who can also kick your ass.” 

“Hm,” Naruto says, looking at Kurenai skeptically. He doesn’t really trust adults, but what Kurenai has said seems to make sense with the way Sasuke suddenly disappeared from school one day, and also suddenly seems really jumpy, and also how he mentioned people questioning him about his dead parents...

Oh. Naruto should really pay more attention in the future. He makes a mental note to be more perceptive somehow.

“You know,” Naruto says, flippantly, trying to engage in some covert deductions about Kurenai’s character, “You don’t look that strong for a jounin. You’re not even wearing a flacket.”

“A flacket?”

“You don’t even know what that is, huh,” Naruto says, eyes narrowing even more as he lifts his chin and scrutinizes Kurenai even more intensely, “Can you even actually kick someone’s ass?”

“Oi,” Kurenai says, getting the message, “Do you want to go, Uzumaki?”

“No fighting in the shop.”

“Oi,” Kurenai amends her threat, “Do you want to go  _ outside _ , Uzumaki?”

Naruto squints at her suspiciously, then finishes his ramen in one impressive slurp.

“Ha,” Naruto says, getting to his feet, “I can beat you in my sleep,  _ Kurgranny _ .”

“Oh, now it’s on,” Kurenai says, grinning. Demon-fox or not, she had to admire the kids guts. “For Sasuke’s honour, then?”

“That’s Uchiha-san to you, Konoha’s oldest genin!”

~~~

Meanwhile, Sasuke and Kakashi have travelled in a deeply awkward silence to The Hokage Tower, and, having completed this child’s request, which  _ why did he even agree to in the first place, what is wrong with you Kakashi, _ the silver-haired ninja waves goodbye to a disinterested Sasuke and takes his leave. When he finishes his shift watching Naruto, he’s going to call some of the numbers Kurenai gave him, and set up an appointment. 

Sasuke, on the other hand, already has an appointment, and he makes his way confidently up the tower to make good on it. The Stares he receives here are bolstered by the scariness of coming from really deadly ninja, but Sasuke is able to convince himself that they are merely staring out of  _ awe  _ for the  _ awesome and cool  _ head of the Uchiha Clan, who deigns to grace them with his presence. It’s a pretty fun persona, and Sasuke actually makes it to the Hokage’s Office without losing courage and running away. 

The two ANBU guarding the doors to the office nod at him, and open the doors to let the young Uchiha inside. There, sitting at a desk that is in truth much too large for him, in robes and a hat that are much the same way, is the Third Hokage. 

“Ah, Uchiha-san, please take a seat” the Hokage says warmly standing to bow a little bit, and gesturing to the chairs arranged in front of his desk, “Yuuhi-san informed me of your official request for an audience. I believe it was regarding young Naruto Uzumaki, yes?”

“Yes,” Sasuke says, bowing slightly as well, and taking a seat, “I’m very worried about him, and I think that he should maybe see Dr. Lin as well. He also needs a new apartment, or a maid, or something.”

“Ah, I see,” the Third says, nodding, “So you really have become friends with Naruto-kun? I confess that there had been rumours that you had kidnapped the boy, so I’m glad that it’s merely platonic.”

“I don’t know what ‘platonic’ means,” Sasuke says, slightly frustrated, “But  _ yes _ , he’s my friend, and  _ no,  _ I didn’t kidnap him, although after having seen how he lives I’m considering it a little bit, sir!”

“Oh?” the Hokage replies, slightly taken aback by Sasuke’s tone, “Do you find young Naruto’s habits unseemly? Hohoho, how that brings me back. You know, you two are beginning to remind me of my pup-”

“ _ Sir, _ ” Sasuke interrupts him, voice rising, “I don’t mean to be rude but it’s not funny, actually! Naruto doesn’t have anyone looking out for him, even though  _ you’re supposed to _ , and I think he really needs some help figuring things out! So please, can you help me help him to find a therapist like Dr. Lin? You’re his guardian, aren’t you?”

“Legally, Sasuke-kun,” The Hokage says, somewhat defensively, “But I must admit I find your tone inappropriate. Are you suggesting that I have been neglecting my duties as guardian?”

Sasuke is  _ immediately  _ extremely anxious because he is a polite young boy and he is  _ not  _ accustomed to disrespecting authority, and The Hokage is The Most Authority, but at the same time Naruto needs his help and he can’t just do  _ nothing _ , and now he’s been silent for almost too long and he needs to do something-

Against his Sharingan’s ardent pleas, Sasuke escalates the situation.

“Actually,  _ Mr. Hokage, _ I am suggesting that!” Sasuke shouts, “I am suggesting that very much, thank you! He doesn’t even have hot water! He doesn’t even have  _ food _ ! You’re supposed to protect him-”

Sasuke remembers something, a warm, bright word,  **“Protect,”** and it’s impossible for him to disentangle this word from the man in front of him, to do otherwise would be like denying that he could see him at all. This halts Sasuke in his tracks. The only viable world is a world in which he can reconcile the facts of his life with the facts of his eyes. 

This is not, it must be said, the typical path for Sasuke among many alternate worlds. In a different world, one where he receives very little comfort in the wake of his clan’s downfall, Sasuke becomes uniquely inured to the injustice of the world, all of it merely additional evidence in his case against Itachi. A slightly more empathetic Sasuke might see the suffering caused by Naruto, and the apparent indifference of the system that has perpetuated that suffering, and determine that it fell to him to tear that system apart, finding it irreconcilable.

This Sasuke, however, found it  _ necessarily reconcilable.  _ It  _ must  _ be true that the Hokage wants to  **“Protect”** Naruto, and that  _ must  _ be true even despite what Sasuke’s seen. This gulf in realties is not one that Sasuke can bridge himself, and he realizes it. 

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke says, remembering himself, “You’re supposed to protect him, Hokage-sama, so why does it seem like he’s never had someone to protect him in his life?”

The Third Hokage sighs, pulls off his hat, and rubs his forehead. Sasuke is the head of the Uchiha Clan now, after all. He will soon, all too soon, find himself engulfed in this village’s politics and conflicts, chief among them being what to do with Naruto Uzumaki. If he tells Sasuke now, at least he can explain things fully, let the boy come to his own conclusions.

“Tell me, Sasuke,” The Third begins, at last, settling in for a long, difficult conversation, “What do you know about that terrible night, nine years ago, when the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox attacked our village?”

~~~

Over an hour later, Sasuke has made his way back to Ichiraku’s Ramen. As the restaurant comes into view, Sasuke can see- Kurenai?  _ Standing over Naruto? _

Sasuke’s Sharingan whirls to life without a moment’s hesitation, Kurenai’s  **“Kind”** coming into view over Naruto’s  **“Lonely”** and  **“Hate”** but as Sasuke begins to sprint forward, he sees Kurenai reach down, a hand extended towards Naruto, and help him up. Somehow, even at this distance Sasuke can read their lips.

“Again?” Kurenai asks, and her expression is bemused, if a little haggard.

“Believe it!” Naruto responds, and his expression is determined, if  _ very deeply  _ haggard.

Sasuke slows down, stops. His sharingan fades, but he still keenly watches what happens next. 

Naruto runs at Kurenai, a fist cocked as if to throw a haymaker, but at the last moment he skids to a stop and tries to throw out an unexpected kick. Kurenai dodges this easily, and grabs Naruto’s leg, pulling him forward over her own leg, sending him tumbling forward with his momentum. He tumbles to the ground, but rolls with the fall, getting up undeterred and charging again. 

It’s a little inspiring, to tell the truth.

“Naruto?” Sasuke asks, as he gets into earshot of the two sparring, “Are you...sparring with Kurenai?”

“Sasuke!” Naruto exclaims, as he goes for a wild punch at Kurenai’s stomach. Distracted by Sasuke’s arrival, he is of course parried and sent tumbling, but this time rather than rolling back to his feet he simply rolls. Sasuke jogs over, worried, and helps Naruto to his feet.

“What…” Sasuke asks, taking in Naruto’s bedraggled appearance and scuffed clothes, “Why? What are you doing?”

“Sasuke,” Naruto says, very out of breath, “I, huff, I was, huff, defending, huff. Hoo. Wow. I was, uh, huff, huff-”

“He’s trying to say that he’s defending your honour,” Kurenai offers, as she strolls over to join the two boys, “Although how it came to that is beyond me.”

“You, huff, started it, huff,  _ Kurgranny _ .”

“Ey, maybe I did,” Kurenai says ruffling Naruto’s hair, causing his goggles to fall over his eyes, “But those are fighting words, Naruto-kun, you can’t expect me to take that lying down.”

“I’m so sorry, Yuuhi-san,” Sasuke says, bowing and pulling a bewildered Naruto into a bow as well, “That was very out of line and  _ very unnecessary. _ ”

Sasuke punctuates that last word by looking over at Naruto, who pulls his goggles up to see a very stern looking Uchiha, causing him to blush and look away.

“Don’t worry, Uchiha-san, all is forgiven,” Kurenai says, dusting off her dress where it was ever so slightly dirtied, “I believe Naruto-kun was simply concerned that I might be taking advantage of you, and wanted to make sure I was trustworthy.”

“Still don’t trust her,” Naruto grumbles, although he’s still looking away.

“What? That’s so-” Sasuke looks back at Naruto, “Hey, you can trust Kurenai, Naruto, I’m certain of it. She’s been really nice to me and also she-”

He catches himself.

“Well, anyway you can trust her.”

“...Alright,” Naruto says sullenly, looking back over at Sasuke and Kurenai.

“Alright!” Kurenai says cheerfully, clapping her hands together once, “Then it’s settled. Now that my good name has been restored among you baby ninja, I believe I will take my leave of you. A goodnight to you both.”

Sasuke still has a lot of questions, his talk with The Hokage leaving him with more than ever, but Kurenai disappears in a whirlwind of leaves and he’s left alone with Naruto.

“I’m,” Naruto says quietly, “I’m sorry, I embarrassed you, or something, I really didn’t mean to-”

“What?” Sasuke says, perplexed, “No, I’m not embarrassed, Naruto, I was just worried about you. I don’t want you to be getting beat up by jounin for me! Especially for something silly like ‘my honour,’ whatever that means.”

“I don’t really know what it means either,” Naruto admits, “I kind of just wanted to see if she was as strong as she said she was. I thought maybe she would be better to…”

“Better to what?” Sasuke asks, leaning in.

“...to protect you.”

“ _ What?” _ Sasuke exclaims, causing some passers-by to look over at them, “You want- Naruto- You-”

Sasuke searches for the words he’s looking for but can’t find them. 

“Listen, Kurenai is great, but I don’t need her to protect me, because I don’t need protection!”

Privately, Naruto disagrees, but he let’s Sasuke continue speaking.

“If, if anything,” Sasuke gulps, and this is going to send him spiralling, he can feel it, but he needs to say it, because  _ Naruto  _ of all people thinks  _ he _ needs to protect  _ him _ .

“If anything, Naruto, I should be the one- the one to-”

He’s cut off, as Naruto pulls him into a tight hug, the first one Sasuke has had in months, the first one Naruto’s had in years.

“We’ll protect each other then,” Naruto says quietly, so quietly. He has never felt like he could say something remotely similar. Never been delusional enough to believe that he could possibly expect another person to stick around long enough to make plans with them, let alone a declaration like that.

“Yeah,” Sasuke says, just as quiet, because it’s all he can muster. He hugs Naruto back, and he isn’t anxious, at least not right now, and it’s dark in the street, but Naruto is brighter than the sun, and Sasuke can barely stand to look. 

“Oh, oh my god,” Sasuke says suddenly, pulling away from Naruto, leaving a hug shaped break in Naruto’s otherwise totally filthy clothes.

“Naruto, we just washed these!” Sasuke whines, as he takes the hug-shaped dirt-stain that now wraps around his own clothes.

“Alright, well I guess we’re washing them again after we eat,” Sasuke sighs, as he turns to walk back to the ramen stand. He looks back at Naruto, who seems to be staring at him with an emotion that Sasuke can’t place, although in the coming years he will come to recognize it instantly, even if he can’t yet name it.

“Shall we?” he says, beckoning at the ramen stand. Naruto breaks into a grin and runs up to him, and they enter the ramen stand together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg long chapter, do NOT expect this much in the future haha, I just had so much to get through and they STILL TECHNICALLY HAVENT EATEN THE RAMEN IM SORRY, I promise next chapter ramen will be consumed. This is also what you could consider the "climax" of "Part 1" if I ever decide to break things down that way. Next chapter will be some day-new-maw, and another character's first brief appearance. Stay tuned :)


	6. I'm Going To Become Strong

“So, there’s something I want to know,” Naruto says, pushing away his now-empty bowl of ramen. Sasuke is only a little over half way through his own, but it’s dipping ramen so the urgency is lessened.

“Oh? Sasuke says, as he wrangles a few noodles to dip, “Not going to take the time to savour the memory of your meal?”

“I don’t need to do that if I know when I’m going to have ramen again,” Naruto says cheekily.

“ _Oh_ and now you know, hm?” Sasuke says, amazed at Naruto’s boldness, “You figure you have your ramen secured for a lifetime now, hm?”

“Well, I mean, if you _really_ want to protect me,” Naruto says matter-of-factly, “It’s fine if you don’t, I totally get it, I’ll just go back to living in my dark, dirty apartment, eating bugs and garbage, _if I’m even that lucky."_

“Wowwwwwww,” Sasuke says, drawing out the word, almost too impressed to be incredulous, “Well then _please_ , Lord Uzumaki, by all means, if there’s something you want to know, let me know. I am _apparently_ your humble servant.”

“Thank you,” Naruto nods, grinning a little, “Now what I wanted to know is just if you’re going to give up on being a ninja, since you can’t use chakra?”

“Oh,” Sasuke says, caught off guard “Oh, um. I hadn’t really...thought about it. I...I don’t want to quit, I don’t think.”

He looks at Naruto to gauge his reaction and finds the young boy merely looking at with concern and patience. He feels compelled to return the favour. Naruto deserves concern, and patience, and love, and the village has never seemed to have any for him, even though the Third Hokage apparently _told them to._

_He obviously didn’t do a very good job._

Even if the Hokage’s explanation for why the whole village seemed to be against Naruto made sense of his word **“Protect,”** it still wasn’t satisfying. Sasuke wanted to know more, understand people better. For that matter, there was everything surrounding Itachi. How could his brother be **“Kind”** and still commit such a heinous act? Sasuke would never find out if he gave up on being a ninja, that felt like a near certainty.* 

“Actually, I’ve decided. I’m going to become a ninja _for sure,”_ Sasuke announces, making a fist in determination, “I’m going to become strong.”

“Yeah!” Naruto cheers, beside him, “The strongest! Like...like Mad Hair Uchiha!”

Sasuke’s own Uchiha blood physically compels him to correct Naruto, like a hardwired biological response, but he suppresses it anyway.

“Maybe not that strong,” Sasuke concedes, “There’s no one left to really show me how to use the Sharingan...I’ll have to just be a strong ninja the old fashion way.”

“Wait, what about Yuuhi-san?” Naruto inquires.

“She’s not a Uchiha, Naruto, you just called her Yuuhi-san,” Sasuke explains, “I mean technically Kakashi Hatake has a Sharingan, but that man seems like an emotional dumpster fire. No way I’m going to let him be our jounin sensei.”

There’s a muffled sob from outside the ramen stand, but neither of the boys pays it any attention.

“Hm, well I still don’t know about her,” Naruto says grumpily, but then his eyebrows shoot up as he processes the rest of Sasuke’s words.

“Wait, _our_ sensei?” Naruto asks excitedly, “Like, for...for _our team?”_

“Um, obviously?” Sasuke says, trying to seem cool and authoritative instead of smiling like an idiot, “They always put the dead-last with the top-of-the-class rookie-of-the-year, don’t you know?”

“Oh, right,” Naruto says wisely, “I forgot that since you dropped out you’ll probably be dead-last next year if you come back.”

“Wow, I can see why Kurenai wanted to fight you.”

“And I can see why you’re too scared!”

Sasuke’s clothes are already dirty from hugging Naruto before, and Naruto’s clothes are _beyond_ dirty from sparring with Kurenai. Really, it wouldn’t hurt if they got ever so slightly dirtier. 

“Alright, shower-water-whirlpool, you and me outside, let’s go.”

“You didn’t finish your weird ramen, baby clan-head.”

“I’ll beat you before it’s even cold.”

“Bring it then!”

The two boys run out of Ichiraku’s into the night, yelling and scrapping, and stumbling into a life that neither could have imagined only days ago. As they tear care-free through the village, they pass an izakaya popular among shinobi and civilians alike. One of these patrons leans out of the bar’s open windows and watches as the two boys run past.

“Huh,” the stocky, bearded man says to his drinking buddy, as he leans back into the bar, “I think I’ve gotta slow down tonight.”

“Oh?” says his partner, as she throws back a cup of cheap sake, “And why is that, dear Asuma?” 

“Because I swear I just saw the Uzumaki brat run by with _Sasuke Uchiha_ of all people,” Asuma replies, rubbing his eyes in amazement.

“ _That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you about, idiot!”_ Kurenai shouts, leaning forward, and shaking the man across from her, “They’re like, adorable little friends now! Two lil' orphans, making their way in the world.”

She sniffs, wipes away a tear.

“Reminds me of Obito and Kakashi, bless their souls.” she says, her intoxication contributing to her wild range in concurrent moods. 

“Ugh, I don’t want to think about kids,” Asuma grumbles, “The Third is pressuring me to take on a genin squad next year, and I-”

“ _OH,”_ Kurenai says suddenly, slapping the table as she remembers an injustice, “That reminds me, I wanted to tell you that your dad _fucking s u c k s_.”

She draws out the last word angrily, which essentially slurs it into something almost unintelligible.

“Hey, that’s my Old Man you’re talking about,” Asuma huffs, “So please, say more about that old fart. Spare no detail.”

“Well I was talking with him earlier, Nartuo-”

“Naruto.”

“Narotu-”

“Naruto.”

“ _The fox kid_ , and you know he was worried I would _trick him?_ Me! An upstanding-”

Kurenai burps loudly, throws back another cup of sake.

“-an upstanding jounin of the village! What kind of trauma has this kid gone through to be so distrustful, you know? It’s heartbreaking, my heart, my heart is broken-”

“Yeah, sure looks that way,” Asuma says, rolling his eyes and removing another cup of sake from Kurenai’s immediate reach.

“Listen, Kurenai, you can’t become too attached to these kid-”

“I’m gonna be their jounin sensei,” Kurenai declares, slamming her hands down on the table, as she tries to stand up theatrically. Unfortunately for her, they’re sitting on cushions on the floor, and the table is quite short, which means her gesture has simply unbalanced her.

“Oh shit!” Asuma says, leaping up and catching her, as she nearly falls over, “OK, you’re done. I’m walking you home.”

“I’m,” Kurenai mutters, struggling weakly against Asuma’s gentle attempts to lead her out of the izakaya, “I’m a role model…”

“Those poor boys,” Asuma sighs, “Alright, love, come on. Show’s over.”

“The show ain’t over!” Kurenai rails, but her protest’s impact is diminished by her inability to stand.

Off into the distance, those two brothers arrive back at Sasuke’s apartment, and settle in for a sleepover, the first in what becomes a regular, and then permanent arrangement between the two over the rest of the summer, and for the next few years as well.

Reinvigorated by his commitment to protect Naruto, Sasuke begins the slow, painful process of getting used to his own chakra again. The suggestions of his Sharingan are still as loud and intrusive as ever, but as the summer progresses they begin to occasionally take on a new flavour. Instead of a warning, an omen, a threat, his Sharingan begins to sometimes offer to him a call to action.

This is entirely due to Naruto’s influence. To his credit, he is extremely adept at recognizing when Sasuke is beginning to spiral and pulling him out of it. The most effective way, Naruto finds, is wrestling, sparring, and in general just plain ol’ scrapping. The Sharingan is after all mostly designed to be used in combat, and in combat it is a powerful tool. Sasuke’s aversion to this idea disappears quickly, almost out of necessity when confronted with the intense physicality of Naruto’s affection. It is markedly different from the distant, reserved affection that Itachi would sometimes allow to show.

It leaves a mark on Sasuke, but Naruto doesn’t come out of the summer unscathed either. For one thing, Sasuke is, once he feels comfortable, much better at taijutsu than Naruto has ever been. Naruto does still sometimes persevere in their sparring matches, through grit and insane stamina if not any real practical advantage, but for the most part Sasuke is able to trounce him. This trouncing eventually translates into teaching, and Naruto is almost on-apr with Sasuke by the end of the summer.

Taijustu does not, however, make up the bulk of Sasuke’s lessons for his blond roommate. That would be ninjutsu skills in second place, and what Sasuke refers to as “life skills” taking first. Naruto often complains that this is _summer vacation_ and he shouldn’t have to be _learning_ anything, but Sasuke counters that he missed the last few months of school, and he doesn’t want to get so rusty that he forgets everything, and in the end Naruto ends up folding clothes or practicing something mundane like “Candle Lightning no Jutsu” or “Marshmallow Toasting no Jutsu.” Many of these share the same hand seals, which to Naruto is a huge plus, as it means he has less to remember.

Still, even these jutsu designed for Uchiha younger than him don’t come easily to Naruto. Something in him seems determined to throw him off. Sasuke is wary of explaining the situation to Naruto, because even though he knows now, he’s not sure Naruto could handle knowing. The Third Hokage told Sasuke directly not to say anything to Naruto. Sasuke obeys, but it is unpleasant, and it feels awful lying to Naruto. Sasuke develops a distaste for it. 

This distaste is intensified when Naruto learns about the unique power of Sasuke’s Sharingan. Sasuke is making a case for Kurenai to be their jounin sensei, in a few years, in order to go ask her for help with a particular genjutsu he’s been trying to learn, and Naruto isn’t buying it. Sasuke explains again that he _knows_ they can trust her, and even someone as instinctive and intuitive as Naruto doesn’t buy it. So Sasuke comes clean. 

And Naruto is amazed, which always feels great, and for a moment Sasuke feels like maybe there was no reason to hide this ability in the first place. 

Then **“Lonely”** Naruto asks Sasuke what his word is.

Sasuke tells him that he has two, so it’s, uh, kind of hard to tell, exactly, but Naruto begs him to try. 

“Your word is, um,” Sasuke improvises, **“ramen.”**

Naruto lights up. This is definitely the correct lie, and Sasuke feels a weight lift from his shoulders, temporarily. 

“And what about the other word?”

There’s no way around this one. Sasuke tells him. Whispers it, because it has begun to take on a sour, acrid taste in Sasuke’s mind, and he wants to keep it as far away from both of them as possible.

 **“Hate,”** the young Uchiha says, and it’s like his mouth was built to pronounce it. 

Naruto, however, detects no malice in Sasuke’s words. He feels only vindication. The voice that screams through his head every time he tries to channel chakra, that whispers to him even when he’s just lying in bed, the bubbling, simmering rage that he knows is there, just there, below the surface. His secret enemy, his constant critic.

It’s real. They fight it together.

One reason to channel more chakra than is necessary when performing a jutsu is to prevent your chakra flow from being disrupted. Jutsu interfere with each other like different wavelengths of sound cancelling out or resonating; either can cause a jutsu to malfunction. If, however, one’s chakra is simply too much for the other jutsu to much disrupt it, then one can perform their jutsu even amidst heavy interference. Since it’s heavily chakra intensive, this is a technique that is not emphasized amongst academy students.

It is, however, a technique which was tailor made for the boy with monstrous chakra and unstable chakra flow. Put another way, a gust of wind can disrupt a golfball in flight, perhaps even knocking it off course, but the wind has little influence on, say, a twelve-tonne cannon ball. This strategy, which Sasuke devised, works wonders, but also results in Marshmallow Toasting jutsus with slightly increased firepower, meaning the two are forced to train at actual, you know, training grounds.

This public display of the Uchiha clan head training the container of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox does not go unremarked upon by the rest of the village. It doesn’t help that whenever Sasuke is questioned by well-meaning if slightly condescending villagers about this connection he often replies by cackling evilly, or clutching a single eye and muttering, “The madness...perhaps it has finally overtaken me.”

Eventually the Hokage steps in, requests a meeting with Sasuke, tries to explain to him the negative connotations he has perhaps unintentionally been perpetuating. The Uchiha clan head meekly apologizes, suggests that maybe if they had somewhere private to practice, perhaps with a tutor, they would be less disruptive to the village atmosphere.

The nerve of this boy is honestly staggering. 

Asuma, for his part, is _not at all happy_ to be pawned off on these two brats and forced to teach rudimentary jutsu, but it’s miles better than being assigned a genin squad, and it gets on Kurenai’s nerves to no end, so he tolerates it, and even begins to feel a little bit of affection towards the boys. Sasuke is so polite after all, and picks up on _everything_ Asuma says with such keen interest that it’s almost embarrassing.

Sasuke will later admit to having had the slightest, littlest, tiniest, beginnings of a _ve_ _ry minor_ crush on the cool jounin with the awesome jutsu and the cigarettes.

As for Naruto, he’s just happy somebody is paying attention to him, and treating him seriously, and actually _helping him_ learn. Sasuke of course did all these things, but Sasuke also had a panic attack if there were too many “dirty” dishes (it’s not dirt, it’s just old food, but Sasuke doesn’t know the difference apparently.) Asuma just explains things slowly, patiently. He is, after all, rather **“Patient,”** as Sasuke tells Naruto early on, he’s also just quite lazy. Whatever, he taught Naruto how to do an _awesome_ wind jutsu (Air Conditioning no Jutsu) and that’s all he needs.

Summer passes this way, and then even as Sasuke returns to school nothing much changes for him and Naruto, and in the blink of an eye 3 years have passed, and the two of them are on the cusp of graduating from academy students to genin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Or a good opportunity for a fic of an entirely different flavour :)
> 
> Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was celebrating an anniversary. Luckily my wordcount for Nanowrimo is still far beyond what it needs to be, and my devotion to this fic is still at a all time high! We're actually 2 chapters away from surpassing my main fic in terms of chapters if not absolute length. Next chapter we're going to see the formation of Team 7, so please speculate away, and stay tuned.


	7. What A Dreamboat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: reference to therapy

Naruto and Sasuke are beyond all of the rest of them, and it’s not even close. Sakura thinks back to 3 years ago, the first week back at school after summer vacation. Everyone (Ok, mostly Ino, but Ino is everyone to her) was so excited that Sasuke Uchiha was back after having disappeared mysteriously last year when his whole clan died. Sakura thought maybe that was a little, I don’t know, insensitive, to be treating him like a celebrity for being recently orphaned, but Ino assured her that it just added to his _cool yet heartbreaking backstory_ so Sakura shouldn’t worry about it. 

That was 3 years ago, and since then Sakura had realized that Ino might be biased when it comes to Sasuke, in the sense that she was hopelessly head over heels in love with the boy. This was initially a new thing for Sakura, and made her quite jealous, but she soon realized that Ino was content for _both_ of them to have a “crush” on Sasuke, and _why wouldn’t you, Sakura-chan, I mean he’s such a dreamboat,_ so the jealousy rather quickly disappeared and became replaced by something…

Well, something that was way worse. Something she couldn’t talk about, least of all with Ino, unless she twisted and contorted it to be something it wasn’t. Sakura was willing to make those contortions if it meant she could stay friends with Ino, but inside her a little voice was telling her to stand up for herself and say how she really felt, and Sakura could not deny that it was compelling.

She wanted to be that little voice, but she didn’t know how. It was for that reason that she felt Sasuke Uchiha similarly compelling. When he came back to school, with Naruto in Naru tow, he seemed entirely different. Not like Ninja Goku after having trained in the Hyperbolic Chamber, more like Ninja Gohan, scared, anxious, yet brimming with power, holding in him a secret confidence that came to light now and again and made him scary, and powerful and _cool_ in a way Sakura, and in particular Inner Sakura, could only dream of. 

And then there was Naruto. As far as Sakura could tell, Naruto had not changed in any way, except for having gotten a few additional clothes in his wardrobe, and perhaps access to a shower and soap. Oh, and he was also _best friends with Sasuke Uchiha what the hell when did that happen?_

The rumours started immediately, chiefly Ino’s handiwork, and every possibility was explored. Sakura even suggested one, based on a book she’d seen one of the ANBU around town reading, but Ino said there was no way in hell that was possible and if it was she would literally kill herself. Sakura made sure not to bring that up, and Ino somehow squashed those rumours before they even started. No, whatever Sasuke and Naruto were up to, it would _not_ be the type of thing that could jeopardize Ino’s romantic fantasies.

What was clear, however, was that whatever they were up to involved a lot of training. It was amusing at first, and then very quickly it became worrying, as the once-eternal-dead-last began to slowly but surely surpass his classmates, and the bright-star-rookie-of-the-year began to leave the rest of them in the dust. It must have been a quirk of school-children social dynamics that everyone else started to get better too. Their academic goalposts were quite metaphorically moving around them, and no one wanted to be the one to take Naruto’s dead-last status. 

This was not a good look for Sakura. She had been near the top of the class, best among other kunoichi, as much as she resented that classification, but that success had been _one-hundred-percent_ due to studying and test-taking acumen. It had worked fine when most of her classmates were busy learning how to manage clan affairs after school or helping with the family business, and Sakura could spend her time out-studying them. Now, it seemed like everyone had decided to make time to study, which left Sakura with very little recourse. Even _Ino_ started to seriously compete with her, when one day Sasuke applauded one of their other female classmates for a well-executed shuriken-kata, and Ino decided that she had to catch his eye in the same way. 

It was thus with mounting dread that Sakura watched her classmates surpass her one by one over those 3 years, a modicum of effort invested by each of them paying huge dividends, while mountains of diligent study did next-to-nothing to help Sakura. Her parents were no help, lacking any of the advanced training techniques or resources her classmates had. All Sakura had, again, was Ino, and by the end, all Ino cared to talk about was Sasuke.

_Fucking Sasuke._

He was not the hero Ino seemed intent to make him out to be. He was nervous, and easily flustered, and far to quick to defer to authority. Not that Sakura was in anyway different, but Ino seemed content to point out those flaws when they were in Sakura. When it came to Sasuke, it was always _wow, he’s so mysterious, his hair is so long dark, he’s so confident in his masculinity wow, what a dreamboat._ At this rate, Sakura was going to develop some kind of nautical complex. Speaking of complexes…

In 3 years Inner Sakura had gone from a comforting voice of confidence to a dissenting voice of outrage. Inner Sakura was _obsessive_ when it came to Sasuke and how Sakura could be like him _,_ and it would have been exactly what Sakura wanted if it meant she could be closer to Ino but this was _not_ something Ino would find romantic it was _creepy_ and _aggressive_ and _masculine_ and Sakura was honestly terrified of it. 

It was actually at her therapist’s office one day, in their final year, that things finally came to a head for her. Her parents, for all their lack of ninja expertise, were not lacking in civilian concern for their only daughter, whose grades had gone from best in class to worst, and so Sakura had been attending therapy for a couple of months now. Sakura’s appointments were normally an hour later, but it was Ino’s birthday, and Sakura still needed to get her a present, and also she was freaking out, and Dr. Lin had very generously made an exception, moved her appointment up. 

So Sakura got to the clinic an hour earlier than usual, and as she sat patiently in the waiting room she heard shouting, as well as Dr. Lin’s voice, raised but still calm, and wait, that was _Sasuke_ shouting, and Sakura _knew better_ and this was _so wrong_ but at this point she literally could not resist, and so she crept towards Dr. Lin’s office, past the little shroud that would apply a brief henge to clients so that precisely this sort of thing didn’t happen, and as she approached she heard footsteps, and wait, those footsteps were coming this way-

And there was a totally unfamiliar boy, nondescript and unrecognizable except for the fact that he had _red eyes with little black markings in them_ , and tears running down his face, as he ran from the office, down the hall, straight towards Sakura, not looking up, until he practically bumped into her, and yes, that was definitely the Sharingan, and there was definitely only one person with that in the village (well, there was another, although the word around town was that his eye was just red from crying so much, which didn’t really make sense as a burn but was nonetheless quite hurtful)-

The boy ran straight into her, knocking them both to the ground. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I-” the boy said, in Sasuke’s voice, as the two of them got up quickly, and the boy looked over his shoulder, and then his eyes suddenly _widened_ and suddenly he grabbed Sakura’s arm.

“Wait, who are you?” he whispered, eyes wild and wide and searching, “Who the fuck are you? _Who are you?_ ” 

“Sakura,” Dr. Lin said, from her room, and Sasuke let go, caught Dr. Lin’s eyes, looked back at Sakura, and then bolted for the door before Sakura could say a thing. She went to her appointment as usual, but it was basically pointless, because she was so shaken and confused, and after she left, and went home, and for the rest of the day, and for the next month, and for the rest of the year, up until she graduated, bottom of her class-

A single thought was etched into Sakura’s mind:

_What the hell did he see in me?_

“I still don’t know what the hell you see in her, Sasuke,” Naruto complains, as the two of them work quietly in Iruka’s office, “You seriously need to tell me what is the point of this prank tomorrow, or I’m going to defect to whatever team Kakashi is running.”

“Patience, Naruto,” Sasuke says absently, as he looks over Naruto’s handiwork with his Sharingan, ensuring that the forgeries are as close to flawless as humanly perceptible.

Naruto just sighs and goes back to changing Sakura’s grades. He knew the basic idea of the prank, and at first it had seemed fun. Get close to Iruka, which proved incredibly easy, and then use that privileged relationship to figure out a way to break into his office. That had been super fun, like a real prank, or a heist, or something. Sasuke almost never went in for Naruto’s schemes, so for Sasuke himself to propose one was like a dream come true to Naruto.

Unfortunately, that had been back in Ninja September, and it was Ninja June now. Graduation was tomorrow. The two of them had been breaking in the whole time, every month, and what had been thrilling and sneaky and subversive at first kind of just felt like a chore now. It even sucked some of the fun out of graduating, since in the course of their alterations Naruto and Sasuke of course were privy to their own standing in the administration’s eyes, and it was clear that Sasuke and Naruto would be made genins. 

What was unclear, and thus what Sasuke and Naruto had been working to achieve these past months, was who would be the dead-last in their cohort, and thus the third member of their team. It wasn’t going to be Naruto, because he was second best in their class, and it wasn’t going to be Sasuke, the rookie-of-the-year, the once-in-a-lifetime-minus-Itachi genius. These two were of course going to be paired up, their teamwork and synergy had been on full display for the past three years, and that meant that their last teammate would certainly be the class’s dead-last. 

Thanks to them, that would be Sakura Haruno.

Naruto remembered the process of vetting the pink-haired girl, or rather the process of him and Sasuke skipping school one day to spy on the rest of their classmates with Sasuke’s Sharingan.

“I saw her,” Sasuke had explained, back in Ninja September, after coming home from therapy more shell-shocked than usual, “And I need to make sure of something. Her word. It...it must have been wrong.”

“What did it say?” Naruto asked, mildly curious. Sasuke had made a habit of sharing his discoveries with Naruto when he made them, which was only rarely, since Sasuke didn’t make a habit of using his Sharingan willy-nilly. 

“Something impossible,” Sasuke said, “Which is why we need to make sure. I’ll tell you the rest of our classmates’ words too, if you’ll come with me.”

So they skipped out on class one day, and waited on top of a building overlooking the field and sparring area outside the classroom. It was taijutsu drills that day, and frankly Naruto and Sasuke skipping was a kindness that the rest of their badly beaten cohort greatly appreciated.

“OK, here they come” Sasuke said, Sharingan activated behind a pair of binoculars, which Sasuke had said was unnecessary but on which Naruto had insisted. It made things feel more like a cool mission or something. Naruto had also brought walkie-talkies, but since the two of them were lying right beside each other on the roof, they weren’t really necessary.

“Alright, I see...Shikamaru,” Sasuke said, as students begin to take the field.

“Word?”

**“Troublesome.”**

“...I don’t know what I expected.”

“There’s Choji, and Shino too.”

“And?”

 **“Comfort,”** and **“Nurture.”**

“Wow, those are basically the same thing.”

“No, they’re not. Choji’s feels much more afraid, feels like a kid reaching for a blanket. Inward. Shino’s is directed at something else, more protective. Outward. Anyway, there’s Hinata.”

“I think she might have a crush on you, Sasuke.”

“She...you are really impressively perceptive, Naruto. Her word is quite faint...”

**“Disappear.”**

“That’s… odd?”

“No time to investigate it. God damn, why are they taking so long? Here’s Kiba-”

“-And Akamaru?”

“...Sure, and Akamaru.”

 **“Roar,”** and **“Woof.”**

“Which is which?”

“Shut up, here comes Ino and Sakura-”

“Oh shit-”

 **“Fantasy”** and-

“And? Sasuke?”

“Yes,” Sasuke replied, very quietly.

“Well?” Naruto said, looking over at the Uchiha beside him, “What is Sakura’s word? What’s this crazy word you’ve never seen before?”

“It’s...it’s me,” Sasuke gulps, putting down the binoculars but remaining transfixed on the girl below them.

 **“Me?”** Naruto says, trying to mimic the way Sasuke says the words. 

“No, Naruto, it's,” Sasuke whispers, looking just as shaken as he did before. 

**“Sasuke.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's big debut! I realize I said I was going to introduce Team 7 in this chapter but the reveal-into-chapter-end felt too good to pass up. Does that make me a bad person? 
> 
> Next chapter everyone will link up for realsies, I promise. Stay tuned!


	8. Those Boys (Team 7)

**“Sasuke.”**

Seeing that word hovering over Sakura’s head still felt like a punch to the gut the second time around. It had been driving Sasuke crazy since he’d seen it at the clinic, keeping him up, begging him to disbelieve it, but if he was going to believe in that **“Kind”** floating unerringly above Itachi’s head, then he was going to have to believe this too. So he accepted it, and tried to understand it.

The truth was that he had only actually discussed people’s own words with them on two occasions so far: with Naruto, regarding **“Hate,”** and even then he didn’t explain the obvious origin, and then with The Third Hokage, regarding his **“Protect,”** but that had been more of an interrogation on Saske’s part than a discussion. In reality, he had no idea why these words appeared, and what they _really_ meant. He only had the feelings associated with them, and a certainty in his mind that they were true, at least at that moment in time.

He knew they could change, after all. Naruto’s **“Lonely”** had been fading for the past 3 years now, what was once a loud, raw, desperate cry for attention now more of a quiet afterthought, like an answer that only came after serious consideration. Sasuke longed to see what that word would become. After seeing Sakura’s word, he privately hoped that Naruto’s word would become **“Sasuke”** too, although he would never, never share that wish with a single soul as long as he lived. He wasn’t like that, and Naruto was just his friend, and that’s all they were, and they were just friends, the end. 

In contrast, Sakura and Sasuke were definitely _not_ friends. As far as he could remember, they had literally never exchanged a single word up until that moment when Sasuke demanded to know who she was. At that time he had been desperate to see who was taunting him with this impossible word, but now that he knew for sure, he had become curious. How? How could someone he’d never met share such a strong connection to him that they would manifest his name?

He’d done his due diligence. Checked all the married couples he could find. Checked out lovestruck teenagers just falling in love for the first time. He’d asked Kurenai-san where he could see two men being in love and the expression of shock she had given him was too exaggerated for him to even continue the dialogue. He hoped that she wouldn’t get any wrong ideas about him from that, because he was just doing research about a totally different thing, and him and Naruto were just friends anyway.

In the end, Sasuke was unsuccessful. It just didn’t seem like loving someone could have that kind of effect, so Sasuke turned to more drastic methods to find out what he needed to know. The Academy kept a file on every single student, and because they were technically members of the military, these files were extraordinarily detailed. Inappropriately so, one might even say. Getting access to them, when Sasuke already had his Sharingan to read people...well, it felt like cheating. Like knowing too much. Sasuke liked it, and decided that was another thing not to share with anyone. Well, maybe with Naruto, his good friend and nothing more.

Of course, since they were good friends and nothing more, Sasuke _had_ told Naruto about Sakura’s word, although Naruto did not understand the implications whatsoever. The young blond posited that, like Hinata, Sakura must have a crush on Sasuke. This was bad reasoning, but it did provide a point of contrast: Ino Yamanaka. Ino had had a crush on Sasuke for, as best as he could tell, his whole life, and in the past few years her hints and gestures had grown increasingly overt. 

Despite this, Ino’s word was **“Fantasy,”** not **“Sasuke.”** Sakura sometimes played at crushing on Sasuke, especially when Ino was around, but she was certainly less romantically interested in him than Ino. Even then, Sasuke’s earlier “research” had seemed to disprove the idea that simply loving someone could change your word into their name. So what was it then?

Sakura’s file had proven a dead end. She lead a boring life, with two civilian parents, so no Uchiha connection there, and she had shown aptitude for chakra control at the appropriate age, meaning she was enrolled in The Academy.

Sasuke refused to drop it. Refused to see and not understand. He noticed he was confused, and that was unacceptable. So he devised a plan to find out more about her. It was a long-term project, but in a way that was comforting. He could focus on that instead of the looming change in life that becoming a genin would entail.

The long-term plan in question of course being to get Sakura on his team so he would have an excuse to talk to her. This part of the plan he had considered obvious, because how else would you just talk to a stranger? If Sasuke had taken the time to explain this final step to Naruto, the young blond would have immediately suggested that Sasuke just go up and talk to her like, any time? Like a normal person? 

Sasuke, however, neglected to mention the end goal of getting Sakura on their team, and so Naruto and simply shrugged and gone along with it, his love of pranks far outweighing his need for logical consistency. So in Ninja September they started altering grades, and by Ninja June everything had gone according to plan, and they were mere hours away from graduation, putting the finishing touches on the grades that would ensure that Sakura get placed on a genin team with him and Naruto-

-and then that **“Scumbag”** Mizuki had to fuck things up.

Of course Naruto and Sasuke were able to hide in the office, undetected, while Mizuki fucked with Naruto’s file for some reason. Of course Sasuke and Naruto went immediately to the Hokage, and were able to catch Mizuki trying to get Naruto to commit treason. It all would have been fine, if only Naruto hadn’t blurted out that they _saw_ Mizuki changing his files.

Because how could they have seen that, given that it occurred after hours in a locked room in the Academy?

Now, everything is in jeopardy. Sasuke and Naruto sit outside the Hokage’s office, while inside Kurenai, Iruka, Kakashi for some reason, and the Hokage deliberate on what to do with the kids. Sasuke is fuming, and Naruto is in a deep depression, suffering through the rare and brief times when Sasuke is upset with him and doesn’t want to talk.

Finally, the doors open, and Iruka walks out, glares at them both sternly, and brings the two of them back into the Hokage’s office. 

“Well, you two,” The Hokage says, sizing them up, and looking more whimsical than critical, “First of all, it goes without saying that you’re both in big trouble. As I’m sure you’re aware, breaking into a government building like the Academy and tampering with documents is very illegal, even for children.

Luckily for you two, children is all you currently are in the eyes of the law. Had you waited, oh, nine or so hours, your promotions to genin would have been official, and you would be facing very significant punishments. So keep that in mind for your next heists, hm?”

“Sir?” Sasuke asks, because he’s not sure if he heard him correctly, “Are you implying that we’re still going to become genin?”

“I’m not implying it, my boy, I’m informing you of it. Congratulations.”

Sasuke and Naruto look at each other in shock, unbelieving, then suddenly it’s all real, and they cheer, hugging each other and jumping up and down, like friends do. They’re going to be genin, and that means- Well, wait. Sasuke processes it but Naruto does not. They might not be on the same team. _Sakura_ might not be on the same team. 

“And...and the tampering, sir?” Sasuke says timidly, “Are you going to change it back?”

“Well,” The Hokage says, sighing, “We would if we could figure out what you did. Truth be told, Kakashi here has had a suspicion that you two were changing records for some time now, but we’ve been unable to find any real proof that you _did_ anything, although we know you two were in the records room reading records.”

Sasuke squeezes Naruto’s hand in anticipation, which is a signal they’ve agreed on that means _shut the fuck up and let me handle this_ , and so the blond pauses before saying anything, which is good because he was about to blurt out “We only changed Sakura’s records, believe it!”

“We,” Sasuke says, sheepishly, because he is kind of embarrassed about this, even though it’s just normal friend stuff, “We just wanted to make sure we’d be on the same team. The same genin team, I mean. Sir.”

“Ah, as I suspected,” The Hokage says, smiling warmly as beside him Kakashi sullenly passes a 500-ryo note to a grinning Kurenai, “Well, as it happens that was indeed already my intention. It is jumping the ninja gun a bit, but I see no harm in telling you that, along with a young girl in your class who I think could benefit from your shared scholastic excellence, you will be paired together-”

Sasuke and Naruto look again at each other, ready to resume friendly celebration as the Hokage continues to speak.

“-And Kakashi here will be your jounin sensei.”

Sasuke and Naruto’s smiles disappear. It’s actually pretty obvious, and Kurenai covers her mouth to avoid betraying how fucking funny she finds that. Kakashi is basically used to this level of open contempt at this point.

“Um, sir,” Sasuke says, “We had been hoping that someone else would be our sensei-”

“Asuma,” Naruto says quickly, causing Sasuke to blush, before receiving a swat on the back of the head.

“No, not Asuma-san!” Sasuke says quickly.

“But you said he looks really strong, and cool, and that you wish-”

“THAT WAS ALL A JOKE, NARUTO,” Sasuke nervously shouts, and out of all the ninja gathered there only Kurenai has any clue what is going on, and privately can’t wait to tell an oblivious Asuma about it later on.

“Well, I do have my reasons for this decision, Sasuke,” The Third says, wondering privately what Sasuke sees in his son, “For one, Kakashi here has the Sharingan, like you, and I expect he could help you to truly develop your skill with it. There are many... _important_ functions for the Sharingan, after all.”

The Third Hokage looks pointedly _at_ Sasuke and _not_ at Naruto, and Sasuke understands what he’s trying to say, even if he doesn’t agree.

“Well,” Sasuke counters, “But what about our third teammate? I somehow doubt that she’s an Uchiha too.”

_...Unless?_

“Ah, well, Ms. Haruno may not fit quite as tightly into my calculations,” The Hokage concedes, “But again, I’m sure she will come to thrive with such talented teammates and teachers around her.”

“Or,” Sasuke suggests, “If we’re thinking of the same Ms. Haruno, she might fall further behind us, unable to keep up, feel utterly alone, lacking guidance and a true role model, and then never recognize her true calling as a shinobi, ultimately dying in the chunin exams, a tragedy of unaddressed potential.”

The Third looks shocked. Sasuke looks shocked. Everyone looks shocked. That was a pretty fucked up thing to say. 

“Or, well, that’s the impression I get,” Sasuke says casually, “I do have a talent for reading people, at least I think I do, but maybe I’m wrong about her.”

The Third looks like he’s going to say something, but Kurenai interrupts him.

“Ah, Hokage-sama,” she says, “For what it’s worth, I’ve also read this girl’s file, and although her grades are shockingly bad, she has demonstrated several impressive feats of chakra control. I think she may have a latent talent for genjutsu, and she certainly has no trouble with research and strategy, if you catch my drift.”

“Oh? Are you suggesting that Ms. Haruno may be well-suited for a role in Intelligence and Infiltration, Kurenai?”

“I confess I do see a bit of myself in her, Hokage-sama.”

“Well, that is certainly intriguing, but-”

“Wait a SECOND,” Naruto says, unable to stay silent any longer, “You can’t just say something like that and move on!”

“Uh, what, Naruto-kun?” The Hokage says, hiding whatever trepidation he might feel under a well-worn mask, “Did we say something?”

“Yes, and don’t think I can’t tell when you’re trying to speak around me, so that I won’t understand,” Naruto huffs accusingly. Of all the ninja gathered there, only Naruto doesn’t know about the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox sealed inside his stomach. Naruto of course continues, unaware.

“I want to know and I want to know _right now_ : what’s Intelligence and Infiltration?”

The whole room breathes a collective sigh of relief. Kurenai looks at Naruto, then the Hokage, who motions for her to speak.

“Well, Naruto, it’s a branch of our military focused on finding out secrets and being very sneaky,” she says, “We do things like spy on people, recover stolen documents, break into high-value locations-”

“Like pranks?” Naruto says suddenly, eyes wide.

“Er, I suppose, it is in some way like pranks, yes-”

“I want her,” Naruto says immediately, “I want Yuuhi-san to be our sensei. Yuuhi-san, please. Sasuke, you think so too right?”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Sasuke chimes in, sensing the moment is right, “I really want to, uh, get better at genjutsu too, and everyone says that Kurenai-san is the best! She _has_ to be our jounin sensei, please, sir!”

“Well-”

“Please, Hokage-sama?” Sasuke says pleadingly, “Please? I don’t have anyone else, and it’s been so hard…”

“Yeah, Hokage-jii-san,” Naruto adds, “Me too, my life has been so hard and I have only this one dream, and no one to care for me…”

“My goodness, such charmers,” The Hokage says, laughing good-naturedly, “Perhaps they really do belong with I&I. Well, Kakashi-san, what do you think? Are you willing to relinquish these two?”

“...”

Kakashi Hatake does not respond immediately, instead thinking back to a time about 3 years ago. Yes, it was around then that every child in the village began to make fun of him. It was, if he recalls, after a certain recently orphaned boy had told him to his face that he was “sad to look at.” He had started therapy that year, and one of the first things he began to work through was his guilt for letting Itachi Uchiha do what he did, his shame for not realizing sooner what he had realized now:

Uchiha’s are a fucking _nightmare_.

` “I think, sir,” Kakashi begins, and it’s like a weight has lifted from his shoulders, “That Kurenai-san would be a wonderful teacher to these two, and young Ms. Haruno.”

“Well then it’s settled,” The Third Hokage says, cheerily, “Kurenai, you’ll be assigned to Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura, and Kakashi, you will work with Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inazuka.”

“Wait, wha-”

“Wonderful!” The Hokage says, halting Kakashi’s attempt to protest, “Now, it is quite late, and you all have a graduation ceremony to attend tomorrow, so I think it would be best if we called it a night, hm?”

“Wait, Hokage-sama, I don’t know if I should b-”

“Yes, yes, goodnight everyone! Time to go home!”

So everyone is rather brusquely ushered out of the Hokage’s office, and, after some minor enthusiastic words with Kurenai-san, no, _Kurenai-sensei,_ Naruto and Sasuke walk home, which firmly means Sasuke’s apartment now, and try to sleep past their excitement. Naruto can’t stop thinking of adding two more people to his family, a total of _three precious people_ , that seems far too generous, far too luxurious, and yet it might be his, if only he can hold onto everyone. 

As for Sasuke, he is concerned with meeting Sakura, determined to find out who she is, why she seems so obsessed with him. A little voice in the back of his mind tells him to be anxious, to be worried, to fear the worst. He pushes it away, but the suggestions are prescient. He will be entering a whole new world tomorrow, him, and Naruto, and Sakura too. Maybe fear is the appropriate emotion.

Naruto falls asleep in moments, like he always does. Sasuke cannot do the same, never can, and eventually slips out of bed, tiptoes past Naruto dozing on the couch, and goes to the bathroom to look in the mirror. He looks at himself, his shoulder-length hair that makes him unrecognizable as the boy from 3 years ago. The worry lines that are constantly threatening to show. And his eyes.

He has never looked at himself with his Sharingan. He thinks about it constantly, hides it from Naruto, passes it off as restlessness when he’s caught, but in the end finds himself staring silently at the mirror more nights than not. Since seeing Sakura’s word he has been trying to find the courage to activate his Sharingan and look at himself every single night. He has never succeeded.

Tonight is no different. Silently, shamefully, he goes back to bed, and tries to forgive himself this one weakness of many. He fails at that too, but who knows. Maybe tomorrow will be different. He falls asleep, dreams of sun, and meadows, of daring escapes and smooth-cocked adventures. 

The next day, Sasuke wakes up early, wakes Naruto, and they get dressed to attend their graduation. After the ceremony, Kurenai pulls them aside, tells them to meet her at the training grounds in a couple of hours. They go for ramen, Sasuke prodding delicately at his tsukemen while Naruto devours one, then two bowls of tonkotsu. They stay for a bit, chatting excitedly about what genin life will be like, then leave for the training grounds.

They arrive to find Kurenai already talking with a pink-haired girl in a cute, red dress, who is of course Sakura Haruno. Kurenai waves them over, and Sakura blushes and looks down. 

“Well, now that we’re all in one place,” Kurenai begins, “I’d like to go through some introductions, although I’m guessing you all are vaguely familiar with each other, having been classmates. I’ve been filling in Sakura here on how we know each other already Sasuke, Naruto, so don’t worry about explaining that.”

 _And don’t even think of explaining that you hand-picked me to be your jounin-sensei,_ is silently amended to that last thought, and Sasuke squeezes Naruto’s hand to punctuate it. 

“But before all that,” Kurenai says, somewhat theatrically, “I’d like to officially congratulate you on becoming genin, and to welcome you to Team 7! I look forward to teaching you all, and I’m very optimistic about what this team can accomplish.”

The kids look nervously amongst themselves, but even though they don’t say it then, they all feel the same thing: apprehension, hope, and a burning desire to be something great. In a training ground not far away, Kakashi Hatake and his three prospective genin are going through a similar process. This will be the closest these two teams get for many months, although by the time Team 7 return to Konoha things will be radically different, and its members nearly unrecognizable, even to Kakashi’s team of trackers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fufufufu...you didn't actually think I would go for more than twelve hours without posting a chapter, did you? Honestly I finished the last one and then was immediately like no, I need to explain this, and shit, Team 7 needs to technically get together.   
> Next chapter Team 7 gets put to the test to see if they really have what it takes to make it in Intelligence and Infiltration, or if they're just a bunch of exploders and punchers. Stay tuned!


	9. Starting To Look Like A Team Already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, before this chapter starts I'd just like to draw attention to the fic that inspired this one, "Words to A Face" by MTDSOW, which you can find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549224/
> 
> MTDSOW had the original idea for Sasuke's special Sharingan powers, and Itachi having the word "Kind" which they posted about on reddit a couple of months ago. I started writing this fic knowing about those two things, but not that MTDSOW had decided to actually write their own fic exploring the AU. That said, I think it would be clear to anyone who's read Crimson Windows up till this point and takes the time to read Words to A Face too that these are two very different fics coming from the same idea. 
> 
> Anyway, that's all I have to say. Hope you enjoy the chapter!  
> content warning / cw: reference to alcohol

“Alright, now time for introductions,” Kurenai says to the gathered genin, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, “You know this already, but my name is Kurenai Yuuhi. I’m a jounin, and for the past few years I’ve been part of the military division known as Intelligence and Infiltration, also known as I&I for short. It is my intent to train this team in order to eventually take on missions in that area as well, but I’m sure that won’t be for some time."

She winks.

"Now, as I am a jounin, I am of course great at everything, and you can consider me a teaching resource for just about anything you’d like to learn at this point. That said, my primary area of focus is in genjutsu, so I would like to encourage you all to learn at least a little bit of the basics at some point. It is a vital skill for I&I.

Now, let’s hear from the rest of you,” Kurenai concludes, clapping her hands once, “First up...Sasuke. Tell us who you are, why you became a ninja, and what you hope to accomplish.”

“Well, my name is Sasuke Uchiha,” Sasuke begins slowly, as he considers his answers to those questions, “I became a ninja because my clan expected me to, and then I decided I needed to get strong enough to protect- um, everyone in the village, so that’s...I think everything?”

There is no question in Kurenai’s mind as to who Sasuke is thinking of, but she doesn’t mention a thing. 

“And what would you like to accomplish, Sasuke-kun?” she prods.

“Oh, right,” Sasuke says quickly, “Um, well, there’s something I don’t understand, and I want to figure it out. So, I guess I...I&I? I guess I&I would be a good way to do that.”

“It certainly would be,” Kurenai agrees, “Gathering intelligence, or intel, is basically half of what we do. Not only that, but you often have to draw conclusions from only a few disparate clues, which means that just as important as your skill in the field is your skill behind a desk. I believe that would be your strong suit, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura blushes immediately, but nods somewhat.

“Y-yes,” she begins nervously, but seeing Kurenai giving her a nod of encouragement, she straightens up and speaks more assertively, “My name is Sakura Haruno, and I am became a ninja because-”

_Because Ino became one first, and you had to follow her, because Ino wants Sasuke, and you want her to want you-_

“-um, because I wanted to get stronger, and to help my village. I’m hoping that as a genin I can prove myself to- um, to the whole village. To everyone.”

Kurenai raises an eyebrow at that last part, but unlike with Sasuke she lacks the hard intel to pinpoint who exactly Sakura is pining for. Maybe Asuma has some idea.

“Well, then that just leaves-”

“AHEM,” Naruto proclaims, adjusting his shirt (a high-collared t-shirt, very similar to something Sasuke would wear, but orange, of course) and clearing his throat, “I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I became a ninja so that I could prove to everyone in the village that I’m worthy of being Hokage, believe it!”

“...And?”

“Oh, and I want to keep all my precious people safe forever, believe it!”

“Now, Naruto, you may eventually want to pick a goal with a more definite duration and scope, but all in all I’d say I’m impressed and optimistic to hear you all talk about yourselves. I can tell that you’re eager to prove yourselves, is that correct?”

“Of course!” Naruto says, as Sasuke nods fiercely, while Sakura nods quickly, balling her fists a little.

“Ah, such enthusiasm,” Kurenai says fondly, “Well then, let me propose a little training exercise, to gauge your readiness for the wonderful world of I&I. If you succeed in this challenge, I’ll pay for you all to visit the onsen tonight. Sound fair?”

This, apparently, is a prize they are all excited for. Naruto just loves the hot water, while Sasuke appreciates any excuse to force Naruto to bathe. Sakura seems a bit uncomfortable with the idea, but even she is forced to admit that being all alone in the onsen can be incredibly therapeutic.

“Excellent,” Kurenai says, smiling slyly, “Then let me explain what you need to do. It’s simple, really. I just need one of you three to tell me which bar I went to last night.”

There’s a bit of silence as the assembled kids wait for Kurenai to continue.

“Well?” she says, folding her arms, “I'll give you 3 guesses, so...what are you waiting for? Let’s hear it. Which bar did I go to last night?”

“Ku...Kurenai-sensei,” Sasuke says cautiously, “There must be like, thirty different bars in Konoha. You can’t expect us to just guess the correct one.”

“There are actually 46,” Kurenai replies, “And of course I would never expect you to just guess the answer.”

There’s silence.

“So, what then?” Naruto says, impatient, “Do we have to fight you for the answer, or something?”

“Hm,” Kurenai hums, putting a finger to her chin in thought, “Well, I suppose you could do that, but if you lose to me I’ll consider that your answer. Does that seem fair?”

“Yes!” Naruto shouts, already running in for a swing at his sensei, before Sasuke has a chance to stop him. In a matter of seconds, Naruto is on the ground.

“Oof,” Kurenai winces, “Well, that’s one try gone. You have two left, though, so who’s up next?”

“I think,” Sakura says, very quietly, “I think maybe she doesn’t want us to fight her?”

Sakura looks up, and Kurenai nods slightly, shrugging her shoulders at the same time.

“So maybe we just have to ask her questions,” Sasuke says, thinking hard, “Maybe like Ninja 20 Questions?”

“Hm, that would be fun,” Kurenai concedes, “But that’s more of a torture-and-interrogation-style approach.”

“I think I can beat her, if you guys give me another shot-”

“No,” Sasuke and Sakura say in unison to the still prone Naruto.

“Well, maybe we don’t need her,” Sakura offers, uncertainly, “Maybe, um, we could just figure it out like, do an investigation or something? I don’t know, maybe that’s dumb-”

“Wait,” Naruto says, rolling to his feet, “You mean...like a prank?”

“Um, no?” Sakura says, confused, “No, I mean like, maybe ask around, see if anyone has seen her-”

“Oh, and we could see if any bars were closed yesterday, to narrow it down?” Sasuke offers, beginning to see what Sakura is getting at.

“Yeah, that kind of thing,” Sakura says, “Although, I don’t know, if you guys think it’s dumb-”

“Wait,” Naruto says, and Sakura begins to think maybe he’s just slow?

“You mean like... _undercover spies?”_

“Well, sure, I guess that’s kind of right-”

“Awesome!” Naruto says, “I have the perfect jutsu for this!”

Sasukes eyes widen with recognition.

“No, Naruto, don’t do-” he says, a moment too late, as Naruto is already completing the handseals for some henge.

“Uzumaki clan technique,” Naruto says, and Sasuke regrets telling him that the Uchiha clan has special techniques, so his probably does too, “Sexy no Jutsu!”

A puff of smoke envelops Naruto, and as it clears, the boy appears to have disappeared, only to be replaced with a tall, blond, bikini-clad woman, who is smiling playfully and blushing. Sasuke covers his face in his hands, which keeps him from seeing the sudden nosebleed that afflicts Sakura beside him. Wordlessly, Kurenai hands the pink-haired girl a clean cloth, and goes up to take a closer look at Naruto’s transformation.

“Wow,” their jounin-sensei says, genuinely impressed, “This is...an extremely realistic henge. I’m shocked that you are capable of such a jutsu already, Naruto, but perhaps I should expect no less from your class’s number two.”

Sexy-no-Naruto blushes from the compliment, prompting Sakura to turn away entirely lest she pass out from blood loss. Kurenai produces and provides another cloth to replace the soaked, red one Sakura has gone through already.

“That’s- that’s so gross Naruto!” Sakura yells convincingly, wiping her nose, “Like, Ew!”

Naruto, for all he’s developed over the years, seems unphased by this accusation. Sasuke sighs and looks up, grateful that Naruto t least opted for the version with a bikini this time. 

“Well, I think then I will leave you to your challenge,” Kurenai says, dusting off her hands and surveying her genin, “If you need an adult’s help, I believe Hatake-san is training his genin squad in the next training ground over, and Sarutobi-san should be somewhere nearby too. I’ll just leave you all with one thing, before I go: with that impressive henge, I think you all, or at least Naruto, should have no trouble _infiltrating_ any bar you’d like."

She winks again.

"Good luck, little ones!” Kurenai calls out, and it occurs to them that the voice sounded wrong, like it was maybe being projected from somewhere?

Nevertheless, with that, Kurenai’s form begins to dissipate, like smoke being blown from an extinguished campfire, until after only a couple of seconds it has disappeared entirely. 

“A genjutsu?” Sasuke says, surprised, “God damn, when did she do _that?_ ”

“Probably while _you_ were checking out _these,_ ” Naruto says, gesturing suggestively at his new form, and being pointedly ignored by both his teammates.

“So gross, Naruto,” Sasuke says grumpily, “I don’t want to see that. I’m not some pervy old man...in...a bar…Hm.”

“Oh my god, that’s, like, just my type!” Naruto squeals in his best party girl-impression, wiggling around excessively. 

“I think you need some or a lot of clothes,” Sakura says in a normal voice at a normal speed, “Um, I mean, right, Sasuke?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke says distractedly, scrutinizing Naruto’s ‘outfit,’ if it can be called that, “I’m pretty sure girls wear slightly more than this to go out. Wouldn’t be convincing if you just went out in a bikini.”

“Agreed,” Sakura says, grateful to be strategizing instead of scrutinizing, “Also, we should figure out if he needs like, a card or something? In case the bars have um, a jumper?”

“You mean like an I.D. card,” Sasuke says, “And a bouncer? That’s a good point, but if there’s a bouncer we probably need to talk Naruto through it-”

“I have walkie-talkies!” Naruto chimes in, “And some earpieces, they’re really cool and small, no one would be able to see them, and they have a microphone in them too!”

“OK, great, so you go get those, we’ll start figuring out which bars were actually _open_ yesterday…”

The three of them are engrossed in strategy discussions, and spend the next hour coming up with a plan of attack, doling out accessories, and buying clothes for Naruto, which Sasuke normally enjoys but this time it’s less fun. Sakura takes point on style, and makeup _of course_ , while Sasuke advises on some of the finer points of buying adult drinks in bars, since he is the closest thing to an adult among the 3 of them.

All the while, they are shadowed by Kurenai, who is relieved that her baby ninjas’ preparations are taking so long because none of the bars in town were open yet when she’d left them. Still, she can’t help but feel like a mastermind genius when she sees the kids talking about getting information from trusted sources, and looking for good angles to set up surveillance, and talking about exit strategies. 

These kids are going to be great, she can tell. She watches them gearing up to go into their first bar of many- and in hindsight, this is maybe not as proud of a moment as she thinks it is, what with the way it’s somewhat encouraging adolescent drinking- and decides that she won’t be able to stay still and watch, she’ll be too excited, so she goes off to find Asuma and brag.

It is a good thing that she does not witness the first tactical deployment of the Team 7 genin. The first bar they try is one without a bouncer, in fact the clubs that have genuine bouncers in them would obviously be able to check if their clientele is henge’d before letting them in, but it’s just as well. Naruto enters, under the guise of his “Female Infiltration Attire,” a name which Sasuke and Sakura jointly determined would be the name of “Sexy no Jutsu” going forward, much to Naruto’s disappointment, and all 3 of their mutual obliviousness. 

It’s a quiet place, although that might just be because it's only the afternoon, and most of the bar’s patrons may yet to have finished working. There are a few tables, and a long wooden counter which Naruto identifies as the eponymous “bar.”

“Bar spotted,” Naruto says into his mic, concealed in the lapel of his tasteful yet alluring blouse. He’s still just standing by the door, and the bartender is looking at him wearily. His name is Clint, and he hates serving fucking ninja all day, for reasons more or less exactly embodied by this situation.

“OK, two things:” Sasuke says into the mic, as Sakura looks into the bar from a cafe across the street, courtesy of a pair of binoculars, “First, don’t talk directly into the mic, that looks way too suspicious. Second, go sit down at the bar, you’ve been standing there for like a minute now.”

“Well _sorry_ for trying to take in the ampy ants,” Naruto mutters under his breath, as he takes a seat at the bar.

“Ambience,” Sakura says vacantly, “Sasuke, bartender is going over to him.”

“Hey there,” the bartender says, placing a cup of water on a coaster in front of Naruto, “How’s it going?”

“OK, Naruto,” Sasuke instructs, “Say hi and tell him you want a drink.”

“Hi,” Naruto parrots back, in his new-and-improved _spy-_ party-girl impression, courtesy of some generous notes from Sakura, “I’d like a drink, please.”

“Sure,” the bartender says, leaning on his arm, waiting for this encounter to be over, “What can I get for you?”

“Um, what _would_ I like,” Naruto says faux-pensively, putting a finger to his lips in thought.

“Um,” Sakura says, looking over at Sasuke, “What should he get?”

“I...I don’t know,” Sasuke says, “What do people usually drink at bars? Beers?”

“That seems right,” Sakura says, furrowing her brow, “But maybe is it called ‘brews?’”

“Shit, you’re right, I’ve heard that too,”

“ _Hmmmmm_ what to get, what to get…”

“I kind of just thought they were called ‘drinks.’ Like, ‘oh, I’m going to go get a drink.’ You know?”

“That sounds right, Ok, Naruto, say you’d like a drink.”

“I think, I’d like a _drink,_ ” Naruto says finally in satisfaction. He decides to improvise a bit, and raises his eyebrows suggestively too, as if that will have some kind of positive effect towards his request.

“I…” the bartender says, slowly, “I know, that’s what you said before, but what _kind_ of drink do you want?”

“Shit!”

“Shit! Um, say, um-”

“An adult drink! Tell him you want an adult drink!”

“An _adult drink_ , my good man,” Naruto says with a flourish, tossing his long blonde hair over his shoulder, and fluttering his eyebrows

“A…” the bartender sputters. He still has 6 hours left in his shift. “An adult drink. Care to be more specific? We sell a lot of those here.”

“ _Shit shit shit_ that was definitely wrong-”

“I _know_ oh my god, we need to get him out of there-”

“Naruto, get out of there!”

“Get out, Naruto, run!”

Naruto looks around surprised, certain that his spotters can see something he can’t, but then, recognizing the threat, picks up his water, throws it in the bartender’s face, then quickly absconds. The bartender sighs and goes to get one of his changes of clothes. He’s seen this shit a million times, but it never gets any less annoying.

Naruto books it across the street, sees Sasuke and Sakura gesturing for him to not blow _their covers as well_ , and ducks instead into a nearby alley. He then emerges a few seconds later, not in his Female Infiltration Attire (this name will later need to be amended, after it is mentioned to Kurenai) and walks casually into the cafe where Sasuke and Sakura are waiting anxiously. 

“Holy shit,” Naruto says, as soon as he sits down, “I think I almost died. Did I almost die, guys?”

“No, we had your back, Naruto,” Sasuke says, as Sakura is about to respond in the affirmative, “Somehow our plan went wrong though. I didn’t think to plan what kind of drink we would need. I thought it would be obvious.”

“I was going to ask for some sake,” Naruto says, still a little shaken, but relieved by Sasuke’s words, “You guys seemed to have it covered though, so I don’t know. Maybe sake would work at a different bar?”

Sasuke and Sakura exchange a look. Each is silently demanding how the other could be so stupid. Sake is basically both of their names. They silently agree not to mention it.

“Yes, I think, um,” Sakura begins, “Sake would be better at a different bar. Yes.”

“Yeah, this bar, um,” Sasuke adds, “Not a sake bar. More of beers-slash-brews place, I think, probably.”

“Ah, I didn’t even realize that!” Naruto says, slapping his forehead, “Dang, good thing I have you guys to spot me.”

Sakura and Sasuke can feel their sins crawling down their back.

“Oh well,” Naruto says cheerily, “We can put that one down as a ‘Maybe’ I guess. Onto the next place?”

Onto they go. They depart hastily for the next bar, which luckily isn’t far away. 

Unfortunately for the Team 7 genin, their ‘plan’ of ‘go to a bar’ is not really fleshed-out enough to accomplish anything useful. Naruto does successfully order sake at the next one, but doesn’t have the money to pay for it, and is kicked out. At the next bar they succeed with the transaction, but when Naruto improvises taking a sip of his drink he immediately spits it out, and is advised to bail, when the gang determines he’s been poisoned or something. Luckily, he didn’t swallow the _poison-flavoured sake_ (for what else could it be?) and so after some brief deliberation, Sasuke and Sakura jointly decide that Naruto is cleared to return to the field.

The next five bars don’t have cafes across from them, so that’s a no-go. At the next one a man at the bar says ‘hey there,’ to Naruto, which means he can see through Naruto’s disguise, and so his spotters are forced to pull him out early, damn it. Spirits begin to wane.

“I think,” Sakura says, as Sasuke carefully dries off Naruto’s infiltration outfit with a jutsu, “That perhaps we should ask for help.”

“What?” Naruto shouts, causing everyone to grimace from the feedback in their earpieces. They’re all sitting together in the latest bar-adjacent cafe. “No way, Kurenai-san will be so disappointed if we do that!”

“Oh, um,” Sakura says, “Well, I don’t want that, but I think she’d also be disappointed if we missed something obvious and didn’t get help to fix it, right?”

“Yeah, I agree,” Sasuke says, pausing in his drying duties, “Kurenai’s a nice person, Naruto, she just wants us to succeed, I think. She wouldn’t be mad if we asked someone for help.”

“Well, OK,” Naruto grumbles, kind of getting tired of always being voted against, “but...we can’t ask Kakashi-san.”

“Why not?” Sakura asks.

“Well, I’m already kind of bummed out,” Naruto says, grinning a little, “And seeing him would just make things worse!”

“Ha, nice,” Sasuke says, reaching over to give Naruto a high-five. Sakura isn’t sure what sort of relationship Kakashi and Naruto have had, or why you would celebrate it even if it’s sad, but she doesn’t want to comment at this juncture, so she stays silent.

“Well then, I guess that leaves Sarutobi-san,” Sakura offers, “Kurenai said he would be able to help too. Is it OK if we go ask him what to do?”

“Yeah, for sure!” Naruto says, before Sasuke can protest, “You should hear Sasuke talk about him. You know, he only taught us for like, a few weeks in the summer, but Sasuke still is always talking about how-”

“Alright, time to go!” Sasuke says at an appropriate volume, making them all wince from the feedback in their earpieces. Sakura wants to investigate this Asuma connection further, but it’s their first day as a team, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize what little progress they’ve made, so she stays silent as they leave to see if Asuma Sarutobi is still where Kurenai said he’d be.

He’s not, which is quite disappointing since they had to trek all the way across town to get back to the training grounds, but after asking another genin squad there, they find out that Asuma and the rest of Team 10 went to a bar-slash-restaurant after training as a celebration dinner. Sakura suggests that Ino probably picked the restaurant, because there’s no way she wouldn’t insist on it, and so the three of them backtrack from the training grounds to Ino’s favourite restaurant, which is exceptionally twee but actually has some good gyoza, Sakura claims. 

As it happens, there’s a bar beside that restaurant, and as the Team 7 genin look on, Kurenai walks out of it, seemingly joking with the bartender.

The Team 7 genin then watch as Asuma walks out of the restaurant Sakura had identified, and meets Kurenai outside the bar. The two walk in together, oblivious of the 3 genin staring at them in utter disbelief. 

“Back so soon, eh?” they hear the bartender say, laughing heartily, “What, can’t you go one day without cleaning me out?”

“Hahaha,” someone laughs, and Sasuke can tell from that husky, baritone voice that it’s Asuma-san, probably, he wasn’t paying that much attention, “Yep, can’t stop this one. She was here at this bar last night, and now she is here at that same bar again, hahaha.”

This can go on no longer. The genin burst into the bar in tactical-entry-formation, which just means Sasuke and Sakura standing behind Naruto, who is in front. 

“Aha!” Naruto exclaims, pointing a finger at his jounin sensei, who is shocked to see her squad so soon, “Found y-”

The three underage teenagers are promptly escorted out of the bar, followed by a bashful Kurenai. They congregate awkwardly in the street.

“Um,” she says, nonchalantly, “So, how is your intelligence gathering going-”

“We guess this bar,” Sasuke monotones, “This one. That you were just in.”

Kurenai hangs her head in defeat, puts up her hands in surrender.

“Alright, you got me,” she concedes, “Although I’ve got to say, I’m impressed with your speed. Did you get the clues I left in the other bars? I had a couple of my I&I buddies work as plants too, in case someone looking like an obviously-henge’d genin came in, I’m guessing one of them gave you the tip?”

The Team 7 genin look amongst themselves. This is an opportunity for honesty. For grace in the face of near defeat, a humble concession to higher powers. 

“Yes,” they all say loudly and simultaneously, and then wince as their earpieces all pick up the feedback. 

Kurenai smiles a bit to herself as she watches her genin squad gingerly remove the earpieces from their ears in unison. They’re starting to look like a team already. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was #Feeligs light, on account of the dearth of shenanigans, but don't yo worry because next chapter everyone will have time to chill out and think 'straight' ;) Onsen chapter incoming, stay tuned!


	10. This Is Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: reference to alcohol

Kurenai leads the kids through the street on the way to their reward, although she’s beginning to get suspicious that they didn’t really figure things out fairly. She realizes that they might be hungry, since it’s basically dinner time, but the kids assure her that no, they bought food at every cafe they went to today so as not to appear suspicious, so they’re fine. Naruto submits that he could go for ramen, just in case. He is ignored. 

The onsen Kurenai picked out for them to visit is right beside a bar, and after going in to pay for her genin, Kurenai informs them that she needs to, um, check… something…related to...ninja stuff… OK, she’s just going in to get a drink. In fairness, she _was_ interrupted while in the middle of her last one, she reminds them. With everyone paid for, she leaves to go next door, and Sakura splits off from Naruto and Sasuke as they all enter the onsen, her to the women’s area and them to the men’s.

As for the onsen, it is...really nice. Therapeutic is a word that might come to mind, if not for the fact that Sasuke and Sakura have both been in therapy and it’s not like, particularly pleasant or nice, even if it is useful. Naruto doesn’t know the word, so it’s not really an issue. Anyway, it is _nice_. Naruto and Sasuke strip, wash themselves off, and get into the hot spring on the men’s side, and...holy shit. Neither of them knew they needed this so badly. 

The water is _hot_ , but not to the point that they start feeling uncomfortable or stuffy, and the air is actually surprisingly cool and dry, the perfect balance. There’s the added benefit that, given the hour (squarely dinner time) the onsen is empty except for them. They have the whole men’s side to themselves, and the same is true for Sakura, alone in the women’s side. 

“So,” Naruto says, as he and Sasuke settle in, five feet apart for some reason, “What did you think?”

“Of what?” Sasuke asks, sparing a glance at Naruto from underneath the towel covering his eyes. Sasuke’s eyes are always sore these days, even if he hasn’t used the Sharingan.

“Of Sakura!” Naruto says splashing water at Sasuke for being so oblivious, “Wasn’t this, you know, your whole plan? To get her on the team for some reason?”

“Oh. Um, yes, it was,” Sasuke says, splashing Naruto back, “But I still need to gather intel before I’ll be really satisfied. It still doesn’t make sense to me why her word was **“Sasuke.”** ”

“Well didn’t you talk to her?” Naruto says, and then, a little bit sullenly, “You guys were off without me for most of the day, anyway.”

Sasuke doesn’t pick up on it, as he’s become preoccupied with the problem of Sakura and her word.

“We did talk, but it was just like, small talk,” Sasuke says, furrowing his brow underneath the towel.

“Like you were talking quietly?”

Sasuke lifts up the towel on his face to look at Naruto fondly. The blond is staring off at the other end of the hot spring, doesn’t see it.

“No, like we weren’t talking about anything important,” Sasuke says, wrinkling his nose, “Just like, where I shop for clothes, and who does my hair, and whether you and I live together. Small stuff.”

“Oh,” Naruto says quietly, because him and Sasuke living together is just small stuff. He didn’t know. 

“I don’t know, I-” Sasuke grumbles in frustration and sinks beneath the water for a moment, before surfacing, “At this point I’m worried she’s trying to kill me and take my body or something!”

“What,” Naruto whispers, “Can people do that?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Sasuke says, “But it is super creepy. Changing your body like that...I would never let anyone do that kind of thing to me, ew.”

Naruto thinks about his Sexy no- no, his Female Infiltr-

Naruto grimaces, and thinks about his _Convincing Female Disguise_ technique, and wonders if Sasuke thinks that’s super creepy. 

“Am I creepy, Sasuke?”

“Hm?” Sasuke says, looking over at Naruto, “Are you _creepy?_ Naruto, why would you-”

Before Sasuke can finish his thought, a large, naked form passes above them, landing with an enormous splash in the center of the hot spring.

“Ninja Jesus Christ,” a voice from behind them says wearily, “So troublesome…”

“Maa maa, Choji,” a sexy, older man’s voice chides, “This isn’t a swimming pool, try to be more respectful.”

Two of the Team 7 boys look up in time to see Shikamaru Nara and Asuma Sarutobi get into the hot spring beside them. Choji surfaces soon after and floats lazily to the convenient 5-foot space in between Sasuke and Naruto, happy as a clam. 

“Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun,” Asuma says lightly, and he sounds happy, if tired, “It’s nice to see you both again. Congratulations on your first day as genin, I understand you’re becoming something of I&I specialists, hm?”

“Ah,” says Sasuke, blushing, but only because of the hot water, if anyone asks, “Yes, Asuma-sensei, we, um, really liked it, well, I can’t speak, um, for Sakura, but, um, I at least-”

“Hey, Asuma-sensei,” Naruto asks, rescuing Sasuke, “What are you even doing here, anyway? This is our celebration onsen, you know? Genin only, no sweaty geezers allowed!”

“Oof,” Asuma says, lying back in the hot spring and putting a maybe really toned arm over his possibly awesome pec muscles, “You wound me, Naruto-kun. Does taking on a genin squad make me impossibly old in your eyes, then?”

“Yes,” Naruto, Shikamaru, and Choji all say in unison.

“Ahhhh,” Asuma sighs, closing his eyes, “I’m going to need another drink. Can’t you kids let an old man relax without pushing him towards the grave?”

“You’ve been relaxing all day,” Shikamaru offers bluntly, “You can’t pretend to be tired.”

“Yeah, I didn’t see you running around like Kurenai-sensei while we were practicing Ino-Shika-Cho drills,” Choji adds, although he’s far too relaxed to sound genuinely critical.

“I was just...observing,” Asuma says vacantly, as he settles deeper into the hot springs, “Just trying to, ah, determine your...talent- Ninja Lord in _Ninja Heaven_ this feels good.”

The assembled genin can’t help but agree. This is a place to relax, after all, to let down one’s guard. Even a battle-hardened ninja like Asuma finds the water’s soothing effect impossible to resist, and the tension in his remarkable muscles seems to melt away before Sasuke’s eyes, not that he was looking, or watching, they just happen to be like, right in front of him, so. You know. Anyway.

It goes without saying that Sasuke is super on edge. 

He really wants to deny it. He really, really, really wants it to not be true. He’s spent _three fucking years_ trying to make it not true. He had no idea how to make it not be true, but if there was any amount of wishing that would make it not true, he would’ve wished it away a hundred times by now. He blames Asuma, and he knows that’s not fair. He blames Naruto, and he knows that that’s even worse, even less forgivable, and even _thinking_ about Naruto in that way is proof that it’s real, and it’s true, and Sasuke knows exactly what that means.

It means he’s weak. _Everyone_ knows that that’s what that means. Who was the weakest of the Sannin, after all? Why doesn’t anyone ever mention Tobirama Senju in the same breath as Hashirama when they dream of their kids becoming Hokage? It’s obvious, to everyone, including Sasuke’s parents, and everyone Sasuke knows, that if you’re _that way_ it is precisely and unavoidably because you are _weak_.

And if Sasuke is weak, _allows_ himself to be weak, then it means Itachi was right about him. It means Itachi guessed this fundamental truth about him like it was nothing, like it was plain as day, like **“Weak”** was painted across Sasuke’s face. For all he knows, it is. He could know for sure, if he was brave enough. All he’d have to do is walk up to a mirror, there’s one by the washing station here, in fact, he could just walk up, and all it would take is a blink, and then he’d see, just like he’s seen everyone else, he’d know for sure-

It’s getting hard to breathe. He’s sweating. He’s blushing. He starts breathing faster. The air is so thick, it’s so hot, and he needs _air_ so he starts breathing faster and-

“Sasuke?” Naruto says, standing beside him, out of the water, towelled up but dripping wet. Naruto knows what’s wrong, can always tell now, and that is Sasuke’s fault, for being so weak in the first place, for letting Naruto of all people think that _he_ was the one who needed to protect _him_ -

“I’m going to grab a water, d’you want one?” the blond asks, quite aware that Sasuke needs one. 

“Oh, um,” Sasuke says, shaking himself awake. No one is really watching him or Naruto thanks to the warm water, which is a blessing. “No, the owners might yell at you if you go. I...I’ll go get us some, OK?”

“Tch,” Naruto says, clicking his tongue, “Well there goes my opportunity to prank you. Keep your guard up then, clan head. I’m still scheming, believe it!”

“It’ll be a million years before you fool me, fishcake,” Sasuke says, scoffing, but letting Naruto help him out of the hot spring. They’re briefly holding hands, and Sasuke feels suddenly light-headed from standing up and having mildly hyper-ventilated only moments ago, but Naruto’s grip is firmer than it needs to be, and so Sasuke barely sways at all. 

“Don’t go swooning for me, Sasuke-kun,” Naruto says easily, grinning at Sasuke .

Sasuke blushes _bright red_ and turns to leave without saying so much as a single word in response. Naruto isn’t sure what that means, but he feels that it was probably somehow a mistake on his part. Somehow he still makes them, even though they’ve been living together for years. Maybe he’s the problem. 

“Naruto, your junk is like, right in my face,” Choji complains from the hot spring below.

“Ah!” Naruto says, jumping back into the water. Choji had not meant for that to be a threat, but Naruto interpreted it as such. He’s a little on edge too, but- god _damn_ , this water is nice. Maybe he can just forget about it, whatever it was.

~~~

While the boys went chilling in the hot springs on the Men’s side of the onsen, Sakura was left to enjoy the Women’s side on her own. This is a blessing, because she really hates the parts where she has to get undressed and shower in front of a bunch of other women, kind of hates getting undressed in general, but all of that is irrelevant now because Sakura is blissfully alone. She takes her time getting clean, and then, having twisted her long pink hair up into a towel, she slips into the hot spring. 

_Fuck, that shit is good._

For some reason Inner Sakura is the one to comment on it, and does so rather vulgarly. This is why Inner Sakura isn’t allowed out. Sakura can just picture Ino now, “Like, oh my _god,_ Sakura, don’t _talk_ like that, you sound like _a boy_ .” Which, actually, why does Ino mind if Sakura sounds like a boy? Ino _likes_ boys. This is a puzzle to which Sakura finds herself constantly returning.

Or maybe, it’s just Ino that she finds herself thinking about all the time. Is that weird? It isn’t weird, Sakura decides. Ino is more fashionable than her, and more popular, and a better student, and just amazing in general, so it makes sense that Sakura would think of her all the time. You know, for tips. So she can emulate her. If there’s one thing Ino loves, after all, it’s when Sakura tries to copy her and falls short. 

So really, what’s the point of worrying about what Inner Sakura has to say? So what if wearing a dress feels wrong, and her hair is always getting in her face, and she has to spend an hour doing makeup every morning only to still mess something up? So what if she feels like an awkward, pretend version of a person? At least that person is someone Ino likes.

_Sasuke is someone Ino likes too, and he doesn’t have to do any of that._

That traitor thought may or may not be true. Sakura doesn’t dwell on it. She had plenty of time to check out Sasuke today, and actually, who cares! She doesn’t understand the appeal. Like, sure, he’s _pretty_ , in a weird sort of attainable way that Sakura likes, and when he says something witty everyone seems so impressed instead of annoyed that he’s speaking, even when he’s just as wrong as she is. That would obviously be nice, if people thought her hard work was something more than a bad excuse to be ugly. Of course that would be nice.

But like, Sasuke was...pretty clearly gay.

This was not a new idea to Sakura. Ino may have quashed those rumours ruthlessly in school, but that didn’t stop Sakura from investigating. At first it was because he seemed like competition and she needed to get an edge, to understand her opponent, so to speak, so she picked up some of the Icha/Icha fanworks that were popular among girls slightly older than her and...wow.

First of all, those things have an age restriction for a reason. Sakura is sure that they would have awoken something in her if she wasn’t already...good friends with Ino. More importantly, however, the main M/M pairing gave her a lot of insight into a certain other M/M friendship she had been keenly observing, and that insight was, well... 

It was pretty obvious, once you started looking for it, and those suspicions had only grown over the course of today’s tiny mission. The way Sasuke tensed up slightly whenever Naruto went into a bar, the extreme defensiveness regarding the men at the bar talking to Naruto, the way Sasuke said, “That’s Asuma-sensei” so breathlessly when they all briefly saw him at the restaurant earlier…

Anyway, Sakura wasn’t certain about her prediction. She was 90% certain though, certain enough to share her suspicions with Ino, the next time they met, and then maybe Ino would see that Sasuke was just a dumb boy after all, and she’d get tired of him, and want to date someone who actually knew how to moisturize, and maybe someone who could braid her hair... 

Sakura allows herself to be comforted by this thought, as she slips deeper into the water. It’s so nice, and warm, like a dream, almost,

“Mm,” she hums happily, “Ino-chan…”

“Like, oh my _god,_ ” a sweet voice- like bells ringing- chirps behind her, “Sakura-chan? Is that you down there?”

“Eep!” Sakura immediately ducks into the water, towel and all.

“Like, oh my _goddddd_ it _is_ you!” Ino says happily, in a voice that sounds like a song. She slips into the water beside Sakura, who is forced to surface by the need for air. 

_Stupid, traitor lungs._

“Um, like, hey, Ino!” Sakura says, doing her best to appear cheery and not super embarrassed, “Like, what’s up?”

“Wow you are like, _super_ red,” Ino says, leaning in close to look at Sakura, and her breath smells like flowers, which must be wrong, “You must have been in here like, a _long_ time, huh?”

“Oh, yeah, yup,” Sakura agrees, rubbing the back of her head, but then deciding that rolling her eyes would be the better gesture, “I just like, _had_ to get away from the boys, you know? Like _ugh_.”

“Oh. My. _God_ . Like, don’t even get me _started,_ Sakura-chan,” Ino huffs, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration, which is adorable when contrasted with her tiny frame and features, “My team has THREE gross, _sweaty_ , guys, and they’re all just so lazy and frustrating like I’m going to _die_ if I have to go through the chunin exams with these _losers,_ like, I’ll _actually die_ , Sakura-chan, like, RIP Ms. Yamanaka, never married, drowned in _lame guy energy_. UGH.”

Sakura laughs, because Ino is so expressive when she talks, and her voice dances effortlessly across its range, which just exaggerates what she says even more, like she’s in a play or something. It’s so dramatic, and even a bit romantic, and it’s moments like this that Sakura is certain everything is worth it.

“Actually, like, wait, why are _you_ even complaining,” Ino says, and she’s talking about Sakura, “You’ve got _Sasuke freaking Uchiha_ on your team, girl, like, what! How did you get so lucky? Did you seduce Mizuki-sensei? _Oh my god, like, is that why he got fired?”_

“Ah, no, I definitely didn’t do that, like, that’s so gross,” Sakura says trying to brush off Ino’s comments, “Anyway, I um, I think that they had to put me on Sasuke’s team because he was the best in our class and I was, um,”

“You were the deadlast, I know,” Ino says bluntly, and for all her theatrics she can be surprisingly blunt when she wants to, “Despite my best efforts too. I mean, like, honestly, Sakura-chan, it’s like you were _determined_ to get last. Actually, I guess I would be too, if I knew that-”

Ino stops speaking abruptly. Sakura hates that, and Ino’s eyes narrow at Sakura, and she hates that even more.

“Sakura,” Ino says darkly, which isn’t very dark at all, but it still cuts deep, “Did you, like, _purposefully_ tank your grades to get put on Sasuke’s team?”

“What?” Sakura says, shocked, because that had genuinely never occurred to her for even a second, “No, oh my god, no, Ino, I would never-”

“You did,” Ino says, a weird mixture of shock and admiration on her perfect face, as she seems to convince herself of the truth of her accusation, leans away from Sakura, “Wow. That’s _ruthless,_ Sakura, even for me. Let me get this straight: you couldn’t stand losing to me, so you _cheated_ your way on to Sasuke-kun’s team? Even though it meant everyone would think you’re pathetic?”

“Ino, _no,_ I _swear_ , I didn’t-”

“Even though it would disappoint your parents? Even though you had to let idiots like _Kiba and Choji_ beat you on tests? Wow, I’m like, almost speechless. I didn’t know you had it in you, Haruno.”

_No, please don’t call me that, please, come back-_

“So it’s war then,” Ino sniffs, having made up her mind in only seconds, “I suppose I always knew it would come to this, although I confess I didn’t expect to, like, have such a worthy opponent.”

_She thinks I’m a worthy opponent-_

“Ino, wait, please slow down!” Sakura says frantically, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, why is it war, what is going on-”

“You’re going to make me, like, spell it out?” Ino says impatiently, cocking her head to one side, and nearly displacing the towel adorning her own head, “You can cut the deadlast act now, Haruno. It won’t work on me, and I bet it won’t work on Sasuke-kun either.”

“Wait, work on…” Sakura says, finally understanding, “Ino, you think this is about Sasuke? I- I don’t care about Sasuke! Sasuke’s just a dumb boy!”

“Wow, watch who you call dumb,” Ino says, taken aback, “That’s my future husband you’re badmouthing, Haruno.”

_Stop, please, go back, go back to how it was-_

“No, I’m serious! I don’t care about him!” Sakura shouts frantically, “Seriously, I spent all day with him today and like, nothing! No feelings whatsoever!”

“Hmph,” Ino says, still suspicious, “Like, that’s not going to work on me, I’m not as dumb as you were pretending to be.”

“No, Ino, I promise, I don’t like Sasuke, and,” Sakura gulps, “And anyway, I’m pretty sure that he likes...um-”

“Likes?” Ino says, immediately intent on this new goss, warfare be damned, “Sasuke likes someone? Who does he like?”

Sakura can’t say it. Sasuke’s never done a thing to her, except freak out one time at therapy, which probably had to do with him being gay and his family being dead, so, hard to blame, really. In fact, if she outs him to Ino, that will effectively mean outing him to the whole village. Ino would see to that. Besides, if someone were to do that to Sakura, to, to tell anyone that she, that she likes-

“Blondes,” Sakura says at last, “Um, like, he totally likes blonds. So, like, you don’t even have to worry.”

“Blondes?” Ino repeats incredulously, raising a perfectly shaped and plucked eyebrow, “You’re telling me, like, Sasuke likes _blonds?”_

“Um, yeah, totally!” Sakura says, using every acting muscle she has in her awful, pathetic body to pretend to be enthusiastic, “We had to get Naruto to turn into, like, a woman today, and when Sasuke saw her he was like, totally drooling. For real, blonds are _totally_ his type.”

“Wow,” Ino says blankly, “Like, you’re not joking, are you Sakura-chan? And this just made you give up? On the spot? After tanking your grades for a full year?”

“Y-yeah, I told you, I didn’t do that on purpose,” Sakura stammers, “I doubt Sasuke would ever go for a girl like me anyway-”

Ino gives Sakura a penetrating stare, which is simultaneously heavenly and excruciating, while she considers all of this information. It’s devastating, but honestly, Sakura isn’t really too worried, because any narrative that lets Ino feel superior will be the one she ends up going with, and obviously Ino thinks of Sakura as more of a deadlast than a worthy opponent-

“Alright,” Ino says at last, and the brightness is back, like nothing ever happened, “Well then I’m sorry I declared war on you, Sakura-chan. Please don’t hate me?”

_This is worth it._

“How could I?” Sakura says, smiling sadly, “You’re my teammate’s future wife.”

“Oh my _god,_ ” Ino exclaims, giggling a little, which makes Sakura’s heart positively spin, “Now _that_ I like. You can call me that all day, Sakura-chan.”

_Likewise, Ino-chan._

“Wait a second,” Ino says, holding up a finger dramatically, which is adorable but worrying, “This blonde lady that Sasuke went nuts for...she was _actually_ Naruto?”

_Oh fuck, oh shit-_

“Oh, I mean, like, I guess _technically_ -” Sakura says, trying to sound dismissive.

“No, like, I mean, her hair was more like _Naruto’s_ blond than mine?” Ino asks pointing up to her own head, which is immaculately toweled at the moment, but Sakura gets the picture, and savours the moment to stare at Ino’s face.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Sakura agrees, “Not nearly as pretty as yours though, haha. Stupid Naruto.”

“Yeah, yeah, stupid Naruto,” Ino mutters, as she goes through a series of handseals. She closes her eyes briefly, then there’s a little poof of smoke around her head.

“So was it perhaps…” Ino says, then dramatically leaps up out of the hot spring, whipping off the towel on her head to reveal her long blond hair now changed in colour to resemble Naruto’s, “ _This kind of blond?_ ”

Sakura is in awe at the girl standing before her, and although her hair was better before, Sakura still can’t help but stare. Ino’s remaining towel starts to slip a bit, which Sakura’s eyes immediately dart to _which she really shouldn’t do because it’s so obvious,_ but Ino doesn’t notice because the sudden motion from sitting in the hot water to standing makes her dizzy, and she falls, falls backwards, straight towards Sakura, who holds out her arms-

“Whoa there!” Kurenai says from out of nowhere, grabbing Ino’s hand before the blond can tumble into the hot spring, and peeling a towel off of her own face, “You two are are getting rowdy.”

Kurenai glances down at Sakura, who now looks quite foolish with her arms outstretched. Kurenai raises her eyebrows, which makes Sakura blush, which makes Kurenai raise her eyebrows even _more_ , which is Sakura’s cue to go escape under water. 

“You alright there, Ino-chan?” Kurenai asks, letting go of Ino’s hand, which if Sakura wasn’t submerged she would also mention is an extremely _petite_ and _dainty_ hand.

“Oh my god, like, thank you, Kurenai-sensei,” Ino says before looking back at Sakura, “Wow, Sakura-chan-”

-Sakura bursts from the water upon hearing Ino say her name-

“-I forgot your sensei was a total girl boss. Now I’m _really_ jealous.”

“Well you _look_ a little light-headed,” Kurenai says, “And maybe...blonder?”

“Oh my god, haha, yeah,” Ino says, “Actually I do feel a little light-headed though, I think I’m going to go grab some waters. D’you want one, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura gives a weak thumbs up. Seeing this, Ino smiles- which, let me tell you, buddy, it’s _nice_ \- and turns to go get some water from the front of the onsen. Once she’s out of sight, Sakura leans back and moans in despair.

“Fuck. Me,” she says, drawing out each word, “Stupid. Deadlast. Dumb. Idiot. Dumb.”

She continues in this way. Kurenai surveys this scene with great concern, her reasoning only slightly impaired by the three or so beers running through her system. She feels compelled to action, but how to handle this delicately?

She settles on an approach.

“So,” she says casually, slipping into the hot spring next to Sakura, “You’re big gay for Ino Yamanaka, huh?”

Sakura looks over, and a mixture of horror, confusion, and shock plays across her face for a solid few seconds. Ultimately, however, these emotions lose out to another, more powerful one: gay yearning. She breaks into tears, nods rapidly a few times, then buries her face in Kurenai’s chest.

“I _ammmmmmm_ ,” Sakura wails, speech broken up by long sobs “Please don’t tell Ino, I don’t want her to _knowwww_ -”

Kurenai coos soft platitudes at Sakura while the girl cries, saying things like, “There there,” and “It’s OK,” not really as an attempt to calm her down, just as a signal to Sakura that Sakura is being heard and cared for. Still, Kurenai is too tipsy to just sit around and do nothing.

“Hey,” Kurenai says eventually, “Sakura. Sakura, look at me.”

Sakura looks up, tears streaming down her face.

“That’s alright, you know that right?” Kurenai says, “It’s totally fine if you feel that way. It’s normal. It’s OK.”

“But it’s _not OK,”_ Sakura half-says half-sobs, “Because Ino doesn’t like me, she, she likes-”

“SASUKE UCHIHA, WHAT THE FUCK????” comes Ino’s shrill voice from outside the Women’s hot spring area. Clearly, something happened to Ino ater she went to get water, but exactly what wasn't clear. Nevertheless, a moment later a heavily blushing, and also very-much crying Ino stomps back into the women’s area and looks Sakura dead in the eyes, her expression absolutely merciless.

“Sakura Haruno,” Ino says, and there is nothing lovely about it, “I’m going to fucking _murder you_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG BIG GAY REVEAL. It's yearning time, motherfuckers.


	11. Fake-Ass Barbie Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: reference to alcohol, mild violence
> 
> Reminder: do not sexualize minors, even minors with superpowers

A few minutes before, Sasuke had just left the Men’s area of the onsen to go get a couple of bottles of water from the front, in a sort of shared area in between the two sides. He still felt light-headed from having minorly hyper-ventilated earlier, in addition to the heat from the hot spring, and so rather than grabbing the water right away, Sasuke opted to take a seat on one of the benches in the shared area to catch his breath and compose himself.

He has a hard time doing so. 

It's hard enough for him to pretend that everything is fine and he's totally normal _without_ Naruto intervening and complicating things. Not that it isn’t heroic, the way Naruto seems hyper-attentive to Sasuke’s anxiety, and is always swooping in to try and save him. Of course that’s fucking heroic. Sasuke has always envied Naruto’s easy bravery, the way he can barge into any situation with all the confidence in the world if it seems to him like there’s unfairness. Meanwhile, it took all of Sasuke’s courage to go up to Naruto those years ago and bring him home, befriend him. Sasuke doesn’t think he’s ever recovered from that, as much as he tries to pretend for Naruto’s sake.

That’s really the problem: Naruto doesn’t seem to understand what it means to pretend for someone else’s sake. He especially doesnt understand when it comes to his and Sasuke’s relationship- their _platonic_ relationship. So what if Sasuke wishes it was something more? So what if Naruto would agree in a heartbeat? That’s not the problem. The problem is what _everyone else will think._

Sasuke knows that he shouldn’t care what everyone else thinks, and he wouldn’t if it weren’t for the fact that they live in a ninja village, and that Naruto already appears to have powerful enemies, and Sasuke is on the brink of becoming their enemy too, owing to his association with Naruto, and it’s not like Sasuke gives even a single _fuck_ what these people think; he doesn’t, and he is going to be with Naruto someday whether they like it or not.

It’s just at, at the moment, Sasuke is, well, weak. He can’t protect Naruto, and Naruto _needs_ protection, but the blond idiot is too bright and warm to understand that, can’t cool it for even a second, even though it would mean he’s much safer…

Sasuke sighs. It’s not like this is a new problem to deal with. It would be lovely if Sasuke could tell “Naruto “You can hold my hand, but not in public, because people will try to kill us over it,” but that would involve Sasuke telling Naruto how he feels, which, in addition to being terrifying, is also more or less an acceptance of the fact that he’s weak.

So Sasuke does what he’s been doing for the past 3 years, and tries to be strong the only way he knows how: by pretending he isn’t weak. It’s all he _can_ do, which he knows is pathetic, but he has to live somehow. If it hurts Naruto in the process, then that makes Sasuke a piece of shit, but at least it’s better than Naruto dying because of him. Sasuke is forced to live with it, so that he can live with Naruto at all.

 _Speak of the devil_.

Sasuke looks up to see a young, blond girl, about his age walk up to him, holding a bottle of water. The girl looks exactly like Ino, but the hair is a dead giveaway.

It’s obviously Naruto. 

It’s obviously Naruto, having used his Convincing Female Disguise technique, trying to cheer Sasuke up with a prank. As pranks go, however, it’s pretty weak, and Naruto _knows_ that Sasuke hates this stupid jutsu, which is obviously why he chose it, to get Sasuke mad at him, which is the stupid kind of attention-seeking that Naruto does all the time-

“Wow,” Sasuke says, looking up at Ino-Naruto, “So this is it, huh?”

“Oh, um, I guess it is, um, like, _it_ ,” Naruto-Ino says in a surprisingly convincing impression of a teenage girl. Unfortunately, Naruto is trying way too hard, and Sasuke can see right through it.

“Your pitch is good, but come on, this is way too over the top,” Sasuke says, sighing and gesturing in Ino-Naruto’s direction, “I mean come on, the blatant attempt at flirtiness mixed with subtle notes of teenage nervousness, it’s all a little much, isn’t it?”

“I- I’m sorry? You don’t like my voice?” Naruto-Ino stammers, and _Ninja Christ_ he is really committing to this stupid bit, why doesn’t he just poof back to normal already? Sasuke’s frustration begins to mount, and it’s shitty of him but he lets it spill out a bit to Naruto.

“It’s not just your voice, ‘Ino,’ it’s _all_ of this,” Sasuke says, extending his earlier gesture to take in all of Ino-Naruto’s form, “You _know_ I don’t like this shit, so why would you shove it in my face like this? Don’t you realize this makes me uncomfortable? Like, how am I supposed to respond to this without embarrassing both of us?”

“Oh, um, I didn’t mean to, like, embarrass, you, Sasuke-kun,” Naruto-Ino says, pretending to be pretending to not be hurt, like this is a real conversation, and not a stupid game. This is beyond perverse. It was a little annoying initially, but to keep it up this long is just like, petulant, and childish, and it’s seriously pissing Sasuke off.

“Honestly, you’re so clueless sometimes, I just-” Sasuke says standing up and clenching and unclenching his fists as he looks at this obvious fake, “Seriously, why don’t you understand this isn’t _normal_ ? It’s _not good_ to be this way, OK, and the way you just push it in my face like you don’t even realize it is just- Argh!”

“Sasuke, I’m so- I’m sorry, I didn’t- I just thought-”

“What? What did you think?”

“I just... I thought I was your type.” 

Sasuke looks at Ino-Naruto utterly dumbfounded. What is he thinking, saying this shit in public? What’s gotten into him? Does he want to make Sasuke say it? Is this just to hurt Sasuke, for being so fucking cowardly?Is it just an extended dare, just a bait so that Sasuke will scream out “Look at me, I’m big gay and I love my best friend!” Fuck that. He’s not going to do it, and Naruto _knows_ he won’t do it, doesn’t he? I mean-

No one’s around. They’re alone. This would be a good time to do it...

But Sasuke isn’t going to do it. He’s not going to play the game. Naruto wants to be embarassed in public, _fine_ , Sasuke can _fucking oblige_. 

“Fuck!” Sasuke shouts, looking at Naruto-Ino with a mixture of disbelief and disgust, “I’m not- Don’t you get it? Why can’t you understand- my type isn’t _fake-ass barbie girls_!”

“W-what?” Tears form in Ino-Naruto’s eyes. _Actual tears._ What the fuck is this, why is he so obsessed with this stupid jutsu, he had all day to show it off, isn’t that enough?

“God, you think you’re _so_ clever with this shit,” Sasuke drones condescendingly, walking right up to stand inches away from Naruto-Ino, “Like, _wow_ , the towel is even wet, that’s a nice touch. But I bet that underneath you got lazy, huh? Right? Got carried away with your _dumb teen girl act_ and didn’t even realize that a _real_ girl doens’t look like _this!_ ”

Sasuke then does something that is, by all accounts, incredibly inappropriate and needlessly cruel. In his defense, in all the times he’s seen Naruto use this technique, the level of anatomical detail has always been rather muted, often obscured with smoke clouds or a bikini because Naruto doesn’t actually know that much about what to put there, so when Sasuke says _fake ass barbie girl_ , this is more or less what he expects to see when he, rudely, and without warning, grabs the towel wrapped around Ino, and pulls it completely off.

“Oh. That’s. Um. A lot of detail-”

Ino screams, something like “SASUKE UCHIHA WHAT THE FUCK????” and slaps Sasuke so swiftly and so decisively that he is knocked fully to the ground. She immediately grabs her towel and puts it back on, and runs back into the women’s side of the onsen, screaming something else.

“What...the fuck,” Sasuke says, sitting up from the floor, and feeling his cheek, “What is he-”

Sasuke pauses. Naruto just smacked him and ran into the women’s side of the onsen. That slap was definitely real. So why then is Naruto also standing in the entrance to _the men’s_ section of the hot spring.

“Sasuke,” Naruto says quietly, and he doesn’t even move to help up the young Uchiha from the ground, “Why...why did you-..”

“Naruto?” Sasuke says, looking back and forth, “Did you learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu?”

“No,” Naruto says, and it is not cold, but god has the young blond’s voice never lacked more warmth, “Mizuki offered to help me learn it and you told me to turn him down, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Sasuke says, “So that was-”

“I’m guessing that was Ino,” Naruto suggests curtly, “You know, since she looked exactly like her?”

“Um, right,” Sasuke says, and then, because he’s a fucking idiot, “I thought it was you, haha.”

“Right,” Naruto says, and then walks up to Sasuke, passes him without slowing at all, and goes to collect his clothes. 

“Naruto, what-” Sasuke says, confused and maybe concussed, as he stands up, “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah,” Naruto says, “Wouldn’t want to stay here and risk embarrassing you any more, right?”

_Oh. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no-_

“Naruto, I didn’t mean that stuff, I thought you were pranking me-” Sasuke begins, stumbling over his words and reaching for any excuse, anything to make this not happen.

“Yeah, I got it,” Naruto says, without turning to look back at Sasuke, “Don’t worry. Won’t happen again.”

Sasuke can’t stand this, knows he fucked up, and his whole brain is screaming at him, and he has no idea what to do, he’s trapped, it’s all his fault-

He activates his Sharingan. **“Lonely”** hangs over Naruto’s head, alhough his back is turned to Sasuke, and the word is loud, and bitter, and raw, and underneath **“Hate”** roils, bubbles, seems almost delighted.

“Naruto,” Sasuke says, ruining everything, “Please don’t hate me-”

Naruto stops in his tracks, in the middle of zipping up his t-shirt. His whole body freezes. Sasuke takes a step towards him, reaches out-

And Naruto’s gone, runs out of the onsen, into the night.

Over on the women’s side, Ino Yamanaka had just threatened to murder Sakura Haruno. This seemed incongruent to Kurenai, because hadn’t Sakura just said something about having a crush on Ino? They were at least friends, Kurenai seemed to recall, although the recall process was significantly impaired by the alcohol Kurenai had consumed next door before coming over. In fact, many of Kurenai’s faculties are significantly impaired. She feels, for lack of a better word, _slow_.

This would be fine if they were relaxing in a hot spring, as had been the plan. Kurenai is in fact _certain_ that _fucking Asuma_ is relaxing in the hot spring on the men’s side right now, while of _course_ she has to deal with this stupid teen drama. Not that she doesn’t care about her precious baby genin, and wants to help them with their problems, it’s just that that’s easier for everyone when they all are relaxed, having a nice time in the hot spring, ah, so nice, so warm…

“Ino,” Sakura says, “Why- why are you crying? Did Sasuke say something?”

“Yeah _no shit_ he said something, you manipulative psycho _bitch,_ ” Ino barks at Sakura, “I can’t believe you fucking set me up like that, that wasn’t even like, normal status games stuff, that was _sociopath psycho murder shit_ , like holy shit-”

“Ino, wait, I didn’t tell you to do anything, I-”

“Yeah _bullshit_ you didn;t tell me anything, ‘ _Oh my god, like, I’m totally over him, he’s just a dumb boy, all your’s Ino-chan, ugu’_ like what the _fuck_ you said that with a straight face, like do you even _have_ empathy-”

“Wait, Ino-chan,” Kurenai asks, slowly, “Are you upset with Sakura-”

“Seriously, how did I not see this? Who was I friends with this whole time? Was that just an act? To fucking _humiliate me_ to the _boy I love_? What the fuck?”

Sakura was already crying when Ino burst in, but the tears which had been paused momentarily due to shock now return in full force as Ino rips into Sakura.

“Ino, no, I didn’t, please, I wish you could believe me, I never meant to do anything-”

“Show me then.”

They both go silent. Kurenai isn’t following. Sakura is following.

“You want to prove to me that you didn’t mean this?”

“Yes, Ino, please, more than anything-”

“Then show me. You know what I mean.” Sakura nods dumbly, tears cascading into the water below. “Say it.”

Sakura takes a deep breath. Kurenai looks between the two of them. Is this some kind of gay trust ritual she hasn’t heard of?

“I, Sakura Haruno,” Sakura says in a faltering, broken voice, “With my jounin-sensei as witness, consent to have my thoughts examined by Ino Yamanaka, fully aware of what may be seen or accessed.”

“Good,” Ino says, and makes a few quick handseals. Kurenai is slow to respond, but her ninja brain is at least primed to recognize a threat when handseals are made, and so she gets up, moves towards Ino, and if she were sober at the moment, or even just soberer, she would probably understand exactly what was about to happen and stop it, but she’s _slow-_

“Yamanaka Clan Technique:” Ino shouts, and it’s too late for Kurenai to do a thing, “Mind-Body Switch no Jutsu!”

No sooner is this said than Ino collapses on the ground as Sakura falls back into the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe that I wanted this onsen scene to be like, one brief chapter? Not 3? Oh well, I guess we're in slow burn territory now. Once this "Arc" completes, however, Team 7 will finally have something with a bit more like, plot and stakes, as opposed to just their own feelings. 
> 
> A note about fake-ass barbies: technically, I should have said "Ninja Barbies" here, but I didn't want to take away from the moment.
> 
> A note about Kurenai's drinking problem: I didn't mean to write it in, it just happened.


	12. The Person I Thought I Knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: depictions of alcohol, intoxication, depictions of drowning, reference to hospitals

The Yamanaka clan has always been one of the central figures in Konoha clan politics, and their skill in mind-reading jutsu is renowned throughout the elemental nations. Sakura has been aware of this since the day she met Ino, and has always been distantly aware that one day Ino would probably read her mind. At first, this felt like a fun rite of passage, or some kind of intensely intimate thing to share between good friends. Then, Sakura began to have certain thoughts, and the idea of having a best friend who can read your mind suddenly became a major source of anxiety, something Sakura dreaded and obsessed about for years.

Still, she didn’t think it would happen  _ quite  _ like this.

“Hello, Sakura-chan,” Ino says to her, taking the form of a pale-purple silhouette of herself, face still detailed, floating in an otherwise featureless black space. She sounds annoyed. “We’re in your mind right now. I can’t actually see anything right now, since this isn’t a mind  _ reading  _ jutsu, and your eyes are closed. So please show me something to represent you.”

_ She wants me to choose how I appear? Could I appear however I want? Like, how I really want, maybe? Could I be- _

Sakura just appears as a pink-silhouette version of herself. 

“Great,” Ino says, still sounding annoyed, “That’s not technically necessary, but it makes it easier for both of us- well, not that I care how easy it is for  _ you _ .”

“This isn’t how I thought this would happen,” Sakura “says to Ino,” although they’re in Sakura’s mind, and it’s not clear how her  _ mind  _ can speak and understand sounds, or how they could be directed at someone else. Perhaps it’s better to just think of it as a useful turn of phrase. 

“Yeah, this is not very  _ Ninja Twilight,  _ is it,” Ino remarks, rolling her eyes. Sakura could show Ino some  _ Ninja Twilight _ fanfic that would change her mind, but she refrains. Wouldn’t want Ino to see that particular string of memories.

“OK, well clearly we were not reading the same book,” says Ino, somehow  _ inside  _ of the memory Sakura just remembered, “Whoa that’s- Is that Alice-chan? I don’t remember her and Bella-chan...OK, whatever. So clearly you know how to have memories, that’s a good start.”

“What? What the hell?” Sakura says, and the memory is suddenly pulled away, leaving her and Ino floating in the void again, “I thought you couldn’t read my mind?”

“I can’t,” Ino says impatiently, “At least not with this jutsu, but I  _ can  _ look at what you show me, and that includes memories. And before you even ask, yes, I can tell if it’s a memory or if it’s just a fake story you’re showing me to try to cover your tracks. That’s the point of this.”

“So...you...want to see my memories? Of- of what?” 

“Doesn’t really matter. Anything you think will prove that you didn’t, you know, sabotage your grades to get onto Sasuke’s team while simultaneously making me pity you enough to think that you would give up your crush on him all in order for you to set me up to be utterly humiliated by him thereby genuinely ruining my chances with him and securing yours. Seems simple enough, if you didn’t mean to do any of that psycho shit.”

“Oh- ok-”

“Oh, also, I would be, you know, efficient, with your choices. I don’t know if you realized this, but you’re kind of drowning at the moment.”

“Wh-  _ what?” _

“Look,” Ino says, and suddenly Sakura sees what she sees, namely the blurry sight of underneath the hot spring waters, where her body is currently submerged.

“What- Ino, take me out, I’ll die!”

“Yeah. Time is a little bit faster in here, since you know, it’s outside of the laws of physics more or less, but you don’t really have all that much anyway, so...go on. Clock’s ticking. Exonerate yourself.”

Normally this kind of situation would make Sakura go into a desperate, adrenaline-fuelled frenzy in order to free herself, the way one does when actively drowning. Fortunately for her, whatever representation of her mind she is currently inhabiting doesn’t possess adrenaline, or lungs, so Sakura is able to remain calm, although she does distantly recognize how  _ thoroughly fucked and crazy this is _ .

“Sakura, seriously,” Ino says, bored, “Stop thinking about all the times you’ve heard of people drowning. It’s not going to help things. Just show me something-”

Ino grimaces, trying to think of the right words.

“Show me that you’re the person I thought I knew.”

Not knowing what else to do, how else to escape this situation, Sakura thinks back to one of Ino’s birthday parties, one year ago. How they ate cake and celebrated like not a thing was out of place. 

“I can see from this memory you were  _ actively hiding something from me _ at this party, Sakura,” Ino accuses, “So unless you care to explain that, I’m still not really convinced.”

Sakura  _ was  _ hiding something from Ino. She had just seen Sasuke at the therapist’s office-

“Wait, you’re in therapy?” Ino interjects, “How did I not- wait,  _ Sasuke  _ is in therapy with you?”

Sakura continues to relive that experience, Sasuke’s Sharingan blazing at her, like he was looking into her soul, eerily similar to how she felt right now, actually-

“Don’t try to guilt me with new associations,” Ino chides, “Go back to the memory.”

Sakura remembers Sasuke running up to her, grabbing her,  _ violently _ , asking her “Who are you? Who are you?” over and over and over again. Her feeling so helpless, her not knowing what he meant at all. She thinks of this as a breaking point, where she went from faltering in school, and talking about maybe having ADHD with her therapist, to sessions full of break-downs, failing grades on her tests, falling behind everyone, and all the lying, lying, lying to Ino to pretend it wasn’t a problem.

“Oh,” Ino says, quietly, “I...I thought you were just lying about Sasuke. Because… because you had a crush on him, and you knew I did too, and you didn’t want me to know how jealous you were of me.”

Sakura  _ was  _ jealous of Ino though, that was  _ massively  _ apparent. Memories rush by, Ino beating her in a spar, Ino talking about her new clan jutsu, and all her big schemes for when she ran the clan, and talking about fashion for hours.

“Wow you,” Ino says, taken aback, “You really were paying attention to all of that? Most of that wasn’t even me, like, really genuinely trying to teach you stuff. I just wanted to show-off, but I guess you were really...huh…”

Sakura thinks about Ino’s tips for her hair, and how to do it up like hers, and she remembers braiding Ino’s hair for practice, and how soft it was, and how pretty Ino looked afterwards, how Ino seemed glowing with pride, maybe even for Sakura? Because she was learning so well, and, and following Ino’s advice?

“Wow, did I, like, really look that good?” Ino says, laughing nervously as she surveys herself in Sakura’s memory, “Damn, Sakura, I gotta give you credit, you-”

Memories of Ino praising Sakura start flying by, Ino laughing, Ino holding her hand when they were younger, them laughing at just how  _ dumb _ boys could be, and then there’s a sleepover, a time at the onsen, that time when they went out in fancy kimonos, how Ino had her mom do  _ Sakura’s hair too _ , and said to them how beautiful they both looked, and Ino was  _ really _ proud of her, and maybe Ino even loved her-

Sakura’s eyes open suddenly, and the first thing she notices is that her lungs are full of water. She immediately thrashes, pushes herself out of the water, which is easy because it’s a hot spring and it’s not that deep. She starts coughing, she can’t breathe, but then someone is holding her, and pushing on her chest, and she coughs up  _ so much water- _

She blacks out anyway.

Sakura is unconscious for the next series of events, but this is what is relayed to her when she wakes up in the hospital (admitted for minor water inhalation, easily treated). First, Kurenai didn’t notice her fall underneath the water because she was busy supporting Ino, who was standing one moment and then seemingly fainted the next. Suddenly, Ino woke up, accompanied by the sounds of Sakura actively drowning behind Kurenai. Kurenai promptly went to help Sakura, and told Ino to go get Asuma, and also that she was in huge trouble, which Ino seemed to quietly accept.

Sakura was escorted to the hospital, and Sasuke accompanied them, feeling somehow responsible for what happened. Later introspection would reveal that Sasuke was very much at fault for this entire series of events, although just to what extent he did not tell Sakura at that time, reasoning -correctly- that it might aggravate his condition, and also make him look really, really bad. 

Naruto had apparently left, so Kurenai went to go find him and let him know what had happened. He was found at the Yamanaka flower shop, trying to apologize to Ino, which was not being well received by the girl or her father. Kurenai tried to intervene, and that was even  _ less  _ well received, because how the fuck did she let this happen on her watch, and the Hokage would definitely be hearing about this and so on.

So Naruto was now at home, either Sasuke’s apartment, or, more likely, his own, and Kurenai was hearing from the Hokage about “dereliction of duties” whatever that meant. And Sasuke was- is-...here, in the hospital room, sitting beside the bed, relaying (most of) this information to Sakura, who is sitting up in bed listening . 

“So, again, I’m sorry,” Sasuke concludes wearily, “I could’ve just checked that Ino was actually Ino, if I had used my Sharingan, but instead I just humiliated her for basically no reason, which was just, really stupid and dumb, so, I’m sorry. I’m dumb.”

“You’re not,” Sakura says, quietly, because her throat is quite sore, “Ino’s just crazy. I bet she was planning on doing something like that whether or not I told her you liked blonds.”

“Yeah, about that,” Sasuke asks, “Like, why? Why even say that? I...I kind of thought you had a crush on me, so why would you try to convince her that she and I should date?”

“Ah, it was just me being stupid,” Sakura says, and she would be embarassed but it’s been a long day, and both of them are somewhat passed the point of being embarrassed in front of eachother, “I just didn’t want her to think I was competing with her for you.”

“But like,” Sasuke asks, “Aren’t you? Competing for me, I mean.”

“Not…” Sakura says, then sighs, “Not really. More like competing  _ with  _ you. I don’t want to lose her to you.”

Sasuke snorts.

“What’s so funny about that?” Sakura asks, surprised by Sasuke’s reaction.

“I mean, it’s just that-” Sasuke says, and he’s not really looking at Sakura, he seems to be looking for the words to say that will explain what he’s thinking.”

“It’s that you’re gay, right?” Sakura says, finally, making Sasuke go very still.

“What-” Sasuke says, offended, but he’s tired and the act isn’t very convincing, “Why would you even think that- I mean- You can’t just go around accusing people of that kind of thing- I am  _ not- _ ”

“I am too,” Sakura tells him, in a quiet voice. “That’s why I’m worried about losing her. Because she loves you, and I can’t compete. I can never compete with you.”

Sasuke’s eyes go wide, like something serious just clicked.

As it happens, something serious  _ did  _ just click. After all, Sasuke had thought that he had done his due diligence, investigating all the possible explanations for why Sakura’s word might be  **“Sasuke,”** and he had ruled out love as an explanation right away, because it was the obvious answer and the first thing to check. He really had thought he’d thoroughly debunked that possibility.

He had not considered that Sakura  _ envied  _ him because  _ Ino loved him _ . He did not consider himself enviable in general, more like pitiable. Maybe he had briefly thought of something along the lines of envy, but his subconscious immediately put those thoughts down with negative self-talk and accusations of weakness. Plus, he was gay. There was no way someone would envy  _ that _ . 

Unless, of course, they were gay too.

“You are too,” Sasuke repeats, in shock, like he’s seeing the dawn for the first time in months. “That’s...that means…”

“Wait,” he says suddenly, “Who have you told? Did you tell anyone about me?”

“Only Kurenai knows about me,” Sakura says, timidly, “And I guess Ino figured it out too. I haven’t told anyone about you, but I think Kurenai’s probably figured it out. She guessed right about me after only one day, after all.”

“Fucking I&I,” Sasuke mutters, “OK well. Um. Nobody knows about me. I mean, I haven’t told anyone-”

“Wait,” Sakura says, “Not even Naruto? You haven’t told  _ Naruto? _ ”

“I know!” Sasuke cries despairingly, “I know! I’m a piece of shit, I know, but I  _ can’t  _ tell him, I can’t tell  _ anyone _ , I’m an Uchiha, I’m the  _ Uchiha Clan head, _ if people knew I was this way, there would be no way I could protect Naruto-”

“Sasuke, you don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone,” Sakura says softly, “I don’t really understand that clan politics stuff that well, even though Ino loves to talk about it, but I wouldn’t want anyone to know about me either, you know? So I won’t tell anyone about you. I promise.”

“Oh- OK,” Sasuke says, and he’s taken aback by Sakura’s kindness, because he doesn’t think he deserves it from anyone, let alone someone he’s hurt so badly, “I promise I won’t tell anyone about you either. It’ll be just like in-”

“ _ Just like in Icha/Icha Volume 3? _ ” Sakura exclaims loudly, causing her to cough a little bit. Sasuke’s eyes go wide.

“Holy shit. Yes.  _ Yes, _ ” Sasuke says, excitedly, “That’s exactly what I was going to say, oh my god, are you telling me you read  _ Icha/Icha _ too?”

“Yes!” Sakura squeals, “I’ve never told anyone, well I told Ino but she said she finds the slash pairings boring, which is  _ insane-” _

“But those are the most interesting ones!” 

“ _ That’s what I said!” _

“So you ship-”

The two of them went on talking about their obscure fanfiction obsession well into the night, revelling in the revelation of their shared interest and shared interests. Kurenai, for her part, spent most of the night being chewed out by the Hokage, and the rest of it getting absolutely plastered at a bar on the outskirts of town, where Asuma couldn’t come and judge her and her genin wouldn’t accidentally stumble into her. 

Naruto saw her anyway, as he sat on the riverbank late that night, skipping stones across the water, dreading the prospect of going back to his shitty, dirty apartment. He thought about calling out to her, but he didn/t trust her, still doesn’t, Sasuke be damned. 

He can smell the alcohol, has smelled that before, knows where it leads. Sasuke, Naruto reasons, does not. 

In the end he’ll fall asleep out here, alone, which was good in a way, since it meant he wouldn’t hurt anyone, wouldn’t make anyone upset. He’d obviously done something badly wrong anyway, the way Sasuke had yelled at Ino thinking it was him was clear proof. He was clean from the onsen, so that probably wasn’t it. 

“It’s you,” a hateful voice tells him, and he has no reason to ignore it, “Inside of you is an unloveable monster, and when Sasuke realizes that he will want nothing to do with you, just like everyone else. Kurenai and Sakura will realize too, and you will have no one.” 

He begins to believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of this like, onsen ARC. The stage is set for things to actually happen, there's just one little loose end to tie up, but ill do that next chapter, and then Team 7 will take on their first official mission. Stay tuned!


	13. Your Actions Have Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted November 16th, Updated November 18th. Added scene discussing Ino's actions between the clanheads involved and the Hokage, and also some more of Naruto's thoughts post-monster reveal.
> 
> content warning / cw: depictions of alcohol, alcoholism, substance abuse, reference to hospitals, self-harm, grooming

While Naruto sleeps, and Kurenai drinks, an unexpected, late-night meeting is taking place in the Hokage's Office, considering one Sakura Haruno, and the girl who nearly drowned her, Ino Yamanaka. Of course neither of these girls are present for this meeting, nor are Sakura Haruno's parents, being that they are only civilians. No, the chief participants in this affair are Inoichi Yamanaka, head of the Yamanaka clan, Shikaku Nara, head of the Nara clan, Choza Akimichi, head of the Akimichi clan, and Hiruzen and Asuma Sarutobi. They are discussing the consequences of Ino Yamanaka's actions, the most salient of which is the Hokage’s decision to disband Team 10.

"I insist that this Haruno girl be subject to interrogation," Inoichi Yamanaka repeats, for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. "There is simply no way that my Ino would have acted in such a way without provocation or justification."

"And yet this is what young Ino claims she has done," The Third Hokage sighs wearily, "Inoichi, there is no reason to start an investigation when the perpetrator of the crime confesses immediately. To interrogate young Ms. Haruno at this juncture would be highly inappropriate, not to mention cruel."

"Cruel?" Inoichi repeats, anger rushing into his voice, "No,  _ cruel _ , Lord Third, would be breaking apart a team of three lifelong friends over something as petty as a squabble between children!"

"I must say, I agree," Choza Akimichi says, piping up, "I was so-, forgive me, I mean  _ Choji _ was so excited this morning to finally join his teammates on a genin squad, to carry on the legacy of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio! It was such a proud moment for us all, and now...well now it tastes awfully bitter."

"Yes, exactly!" Inoichi agrees, "Shikaku, surely you agree?"

Shikaku Nara does not "agree." Shikaku Nara assigns probabilities to events based on prior and posterior distributions of likelihood, and then calculates the expected value of future actions accordingly. Shikaku Nara is deeply aware of the prevalence of human bias, especially when emotions come into play. Inoichi Yamanaka is aware of these things too, Shikaku knows, but in this moment he is too badly suffering from them to include them in his calculations. Not that he does calculations, of course. As far as Shikaku is aware, he and Shikamaru are more or less the only ones in the Hidden Leaf who make any serious effort to think things through.

So, thinking this through:

Ino has always been emotionally volatile, and manipulative. Several childhood incidents confirm that she is willing to lie or distort the truth in order to get what she wants. Thus, prior probability that she is lying now is extremely high, conditional on her wanting to lie. So assuming she's lying, and Sakura Haruno really did do something to justify Ino's behaviour, what would it be, and what would Ino stand to gain from lying about it? Shikaku has thought about this, and cannot come up with a good answer. Sakura Haruno was already her friend, and also the deadlast in their cohort. She is unlikely to have genuine leverage over Ino. 

Perhaps it is some pointless, teenage drama that Sakura knows about concerning Ino? It's possible, but unlikely to be important, since Ino has not done anything important in her life. This is beginning to become a bit of a divergence from the goal of finding the truth, and Shikaku makes a note not to continue this line of thought. Conclusion: it seems unlikely that Ino is lying under duress, and unlikely that lying would somehow benefit her more than painting Sakura as a monster, given the consequences Ino was sure to know would result from her actions. All in all, Ino is most likely telling the truth, which of course is corroborated by Kurenai, who, unreliable drunkard that she is, does at least understand the gravity of the situation. 

Kurenai, as usual, lacks import as a factor in The Game, owing to her general incompetence and alcoholism, although her relationship with Asuma Sarutobi is of some concern. Shikaku dismisses this more interesting line of inquiry, since it is irrelevant to the matter at hand, but he does file it away for later consideration.

"I think Ino-chan is telling the truth," Shikaku says after only a moment's thought, "Therefore interrogating the Haruno girl would be unlikely to produce new, useful information, and would require that her parents be involved in this matter."

"Shikaku," Inoichi looks at him with a look that Shikaku knows means  _ Shut up and take my side _ , "Whether or not the allegations of misconduct are true, the conditions of her punishment are at your discretion, Lord Third. Removing Ino from service and breaking up her genin squad hardly seems appropriate!"

"Here here," Choza agrees, "The unity of the Yamanaka, Akimichi, and Nara clans is a cornerstone of this great village, my lord! To tear apart our young heirs is to disrupt that very foundation!"

Maybe young Ino-chan should have thought about before she almost murdered her friend? Asuma thinks this to himself, but does not speak up. In truth, he has no idea why he’s here, other than that he’s Ino’s jounin sensei. That may be true, but he’s only been with his team for  _ one day.  _ He’s really got no horse in this race.

"Of course my intent is not to disrupt the unity of your noble clans," The Third says with practiced patience, "But as Hokage of this  _ village, _ I cannot allow brazen acts of violence to occur between the members of our clans and our civilian class. "

Shikaku notes this distinction. Technically, Sakura and Ino are both genin, and as members of the military, this status would take precedence over clan relations. The punishment would be much the same, of course, but the fact that The Hokage misspoke in such a way probably belies the deeper goal behind his actions. What could this be? Shikaku takes a moment to think about it, in the lull between people speaking. Ample time.

The Third Hokage's goals have changed from his initial appointment, this much is obvious. The Leaf is secure, and peace seems likely between the other Elemental Nations, excepting of course the variables in the Hidden Sand and Hidden Mist, but those would have arisen independently of the Hokage's actions. Thinking about significant choices, appointing Minato Namikaze was certainly one, as was resuming his role as Hokage after Minato's death. The natural choice would have been to appoint a clan head, and then act as steward till such a time as they were ready to assume power. This was not done. 

There’s also the obvious matter of the total annihilation of the Uchiha clan. How could that have been allowed to happen? Shikaku is certain that the Hokage had intelligence regarding that incident, and somehow decided not to act, itself an action as decisive as any other. Disbanding this latest incarnation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio could be read as yet another move in the plan to rid Konoha’s clans of their power. 

Shikaku cares about the village and his clan in nearly equal measure. He has not often been forced to choose between them. He honestly does not know who he would choose, if it came to light that the Hokage was trying to disenfranchise Konoha’s clans. Is this the natural progression of things, in times of peace? Are Konoha’s threats abroad so insignificant that its wartime traditions can be abandoned?

Shikaku doesn’t know, and not knowing frustrates him, and having emotions at all frustrates him further, which makes it harder to know things, which is a whole vicious cycle. He does not want to participate in whatever game the Hokage was setup with his pet Uchiha and the Demon Fox child. Could Sakura Haruno be part of it? It wouldn’t have been that hard to deliberately manipulate her grades, and Sasuke’s too, for that matter, to ensure that they end up on the same team…

No. This is ridiculous. These plots benefit no one, nor does their contemplation. Whatever the Hokage is planning, it is unlikely to be much threat if it involves a useless civilian and one of I&I’s worn out spies. It would be especially unlikely to threaten the Nara clan and its allies if it was forced to occur outside of Konoha entirely. That would likely appease Inoichi, and of course Choza will simply agree to whatever the two of them decide.

Now how to propose this in a way that will achieve his goals…

“Unfortunately, this act of violence has already occurred,” Shikaku says calmly, “And whatever punishment you give to Ino, this incident will not go unnoticed by those who harbor ill-will. Punish her too strongly, and you incur the rage of the clans, who will see this as an infringement on their freedoms. Do too little, and you show no resolve, signal that civilians are open-season for those in power.”

“Wise words, Shikaku,” The Hokage says thoughtfully, puffing on his pipe. Shikaku knows this means the Hokage is trying to figure out what additional angle Shikaku is working. Unfortunately, the older man needs much more time to think, and is afforded much less of it. He will try to buy more.

“What then would you propose I do?” The Hokage asks easily, idly considering the smoke from his pipe while he obviously tries to think past this maneuver. Inoichi can seem to sense that Shikaku has planned something too, and wisely keeps his mouth shut. Choza wisely keeps his mouth shut until given an obvious point to support. Ino-Shika-Cho in action.

“I propose that rather than responding in either direction, we handle things discreetly. Distraction tactics. Send Team 7 on a mission outside the village to keep them out of the public eye, keep this situation from ever coming to light.”

“That would appear to solve half of the situation, but what of Team 10? I  _ must  _ disband them, the law dictates as much. How would you conceal that?”

Shikaku shrugs. 

“We can claim that the children were needed to administrate clan matters,” he suggests casually, knowing full well that this is something the Hokage is entirely against, that keeping the heirs in constant military service prevents any political coalitions from truly emerging until much later in their lives. Shikaku hadn’t planned this, but it is an elegant  _ riposte  _ to what could be construed as an attempt to sabotage their clans.

“Perhaps…” The Third says pensively, and Shikaku knows that the older man is still a few steps behind. Perks of being so close to the head that wears the crown: you get to see the thinking happen and outpace it. “Well, with the chunin exams coming up I could stand to increase our diplomatic presence in the capital, and Asuma would be well suited for that. Perhaps Team 7 could accompany him. If his role were to change, that could justify a change in your heirs assignments as well.”

“Quite right, Lord Third.” Shikaku says, nodding.

“Yes, now that I think about it, it would be nice to have some time to show Ino the more delicate parts of...flower shop managing.”

“Why, Choji’s been practically begging me to show him the ropes when it comes to clan administration!”

“I-” The Third says, sensing some sort of argumentative coup has occurred but not fully understanding it, “Well, I’m glad that this meeting could end so positively. I’ll draw up the paperwork tomorrow for everyone’s new positions. Thank you all for meeting with me.”

Shikaku and the rest of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio bow, and leave the office together, formation intact.

Naruto wakes up to the sounds of crying, and the pre-dawn light that heralds the sun. He had fallen asleep on the riverbank, something he hadn’t done in years, but as the sleep faded from his body he could sense that he wasn’t alone. The crying isn’t his, which is reassuring, but it does sound somehow familiar. He looks around, trying to move as little as possible so as to not reveal himself, and eventually he spots someone further down the bank, closer to the steps that lead back to the village’s streets. The source of the crying. It's a woman, in a long-sleeved dress-

Naruto rubs his eyes, blinks, rubs his eyes again. It’s Kurenai. 

Obviously he goes up to her. Naruto may have learned to be distrustful of adults, especially adults who reeked of booze, but he never, never learned to close his heart to others’ suffering. He calls out to her, softly, and Kurenai looks over at him, eyes swollen red from crying, makeup thoroughly smeared, hair extremely messy.

“Oh, Naruto-kun,” she says, sniffing and trying to control her sobs, “What are, um, what are you doing here? Isn’t it a little, uh, late for you to be up?”

“I was sleeping,” Naruto says skeptically, “You woke me up. It’s almost morning.”

“Wh- what?” Kurenai says, looking around confused, “It is? It...wow, it  _ is  _ . Shit. Fuck. God damn it. Son-”

Naruto folds his arms while he waits out Kurenai’s muttered curses.

“-Shodaime’s balls,” Kurenai concludes, grimacing over her own fallibility, “I didn’t realize it was so late. Or. Early. I guess. Shit.”

“Why are you crying so much?” Naruto asks bluntly, “Did Sakura...did Sakura, you know-”

“No, Naruto-kun,” Kurenai says, pinching the bridge of her nose as if that would cure her drunkenness, “I checked on her, she’s fine. Sasuke-kun stayed with her, and they seem to have been talking and being friendly.”

“Oh,” Naruto says, and he can’t keep the hurt from his voice, “I guess that makes sense. He wants to make sure she’s OK. He’s good like that.”

“Yeah he-” Kurenai begins, “He’s a real good- kid- I-”

She bursts into tears once more. Naruto would never say something so cruel, but he does absently think that this is probably what people mean by the term “ugly crying.” 

“I can’t believe I almost let my kid drown!” Kurenai wails, more or less answering Naruto’s earlier question, “Oh- oh my god, I’m so- I’m such a shitty- I’m-”

“A shitty jounin sensei,” Naruto suggests bitterly, which is a rare emotion for the boy. Still, after how his night has gone, it's all he really feels.

“Yes! Exactly!” Kurenai cries, nodding her head, “Just a shitty drunk who can’t even protect her precious genin.”

“You don’t have to protect us,” Naruto mutters quietly, “I never asked for your protection, shitty Kurgranny.”

“That doesn’t  _ matter  _ ,” Kurenai says, “Although that’s also so mean, Naruto. But I have to protect you anyway, even if you hate me.”

“Why? What’s the point?”

“The point is that I care about all of you! You’re small, and you don’t know how the world works, and you don’t know how to order a drink for god’s sake-” 

“Seems like you do though.”

“Hurtful, Naruto!” Kurenai chides, before resuming her crying, “Don’t say that to other people, that’s how you make enemies!”

“I already have enemies,” Naruto mutters, “What’s one more? I’m not afraid of a shitty drunk anyway.”

“I’m not your enemy!” Kurenai says in a mixture of hurt and shock, “I will never be your enemy, Naruto!”

“Why not? I’m sure everyone would understand if you wanted to.”

“Because first of all, I care about you,” Kurenai lectures, slurring every other word, “And second of all, I’m not afraid of  _ ‘The Dark Chakra of The Demon Fox corrupting your young mind.’ _ There’s no evidence of that at all, and it's just dumb that everyone believes that that's a thing.”

“Um,” Naruto says, quite caught off-guard, “Why...why would anyone be afraid of that very specific thing you just said?”

“Because of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox sealed in your belly,” Kurenai says obliviously, “But like,  _ everyone _ knows the Fourth Hokage was a master of sealing jutsu, and Jiraiya’s been here to check on it several times, and never found any evidence of chakra leaking out, so-”

“Hey, um, Kurenai-sensei,” Naruto interjects politely, suddenly interested, “Can you tell me more about the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox sealed in my belly? Please?”

“Naruto, I  _ can’t  _ -” Kurenai says apologetically, “The Third made it illegal to talk about. If Naruto were to hear us talking about this-”

“Kurenai-sensei,  _ I’m  _ Naruto.”

Kurenai stops. Looks at him. Looks back over the water. Looks back at Naruto. Squints.

“Ninja Jesus Christ,” she says, burying her head in her hands, “I’m the worst ninja.”

“Kurenai-sensei,” Naruto prods, literally poking her, “Um, does everyone know about this? Like, all the villagers, and parents, and- and- shopkeepers-”

“Yes,” Kurenai says sullenly, not looking up, “Most of the kids around your ages wouldn’t, but older than that everyone knows.”

_ So Sasuke doesn't know?  _

“And that makes them- scared of me?”

“Very,” Kurenai says, now beginning to hit her head against her own knees.

“But,” Naruto says, “But you think they’re wrong?”

“Yes,” Kurenai sighs wearily, looking up, “I may not be a Yamanaka, but I’m fairly-fucking-familiar with genjutsu, not to mention mind control, and corrupting innocent youths-”

Naruto takes a step back.

“- _ enemy  _ innocent youths. And just to spy on their governments. Fuck. Anyway, I’m not certain, and I’m  _ really fucking hammered, here  _ , but I’m pretty damn sure that you’re just a sweet, friendly little kid, end of story.”

“So um, do you think Sasuke-”

“Naruto, look,” Kurenai says, getting on to her knees and putting her hands on his shoulders, “If anyone finds out that I just told you what I just told you, I will go to jail, and our genin team will be disbanded. I don’t want that, do you?”

Naruto’s thoughts go to Sasuke.

“No, Kurenai-sensei.”

“Right. And I don’t want it either,” Kurenai says firmly, “So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to continue to drink until I pass out, and hopefully forget everything that has just transpired.  _ You  _ are going to go home, and pretend that you have never even  _ heard _ of the idea of sealing a demon fox inside a defenseless little baby orphan. Deal?” 

“Um, OK, it’s just that I’m, um, a little worried about that thing you said about the Demon Fox’s chakra leaking into me, or corrupting me or something-”

Kurenai holds up her finger to silence him, as with the other hand she retrieves,  _ uncorks  _ , and begins to chug an entire bottle of wine.

Naruto feels like he knows where this bit is going, so he gives Kurenai a backward glance, but ultimately decides to leave and go home. His apartment is only a block away, but for some reason he feels weirdly light and full of energy. The walk to Sasuke’s isn’t that much longer, and the air is light and cool, mysterious and hopeful. Naruto doesn’t want to waste it, so he makes his way down the main street to Sasuke’s building. So he really does have an evil monster inside of him telling him that no one loves him. At least he knows now. 

Behind him the sun is just beginning to dawn.

It occurs to Naruto as he reaches Sasuke’s apartment that Sasuke probably knows too. He saw Naruto’s words afterall, because apparently Naruto has two, which makes sense in light of what Kurenai just told him. Sasuke said that his other word was  **“Hate”** and he said it like it made all the sense in the world at the time. Naruto had just thought that it meant Sasuke understood him really well, but maybe Sasuke actually  _ knew  _ the whole time.

If he knew the whole time, he didn’t show it. Didn’t treat Naruto like a timebomb, or a traitor, or a monster. If anything, up until tonight, Sasuke had treated Naruto like he was  _ a brother _ . Like family. Probably. Naruto can’t say for sure, what with the whole orphan thing, but Sasuke’s talked about  _ his  _ brother before, in passing, and it would make sense that Sasuke wanted another brother. Brothers want to protect each other, right? Brothers love each other. Brothers fight.

_ Brothers. We’re brothers. _

Naruto is comforted by this thought. Comforted by the fact that his feelings towards Sasuke have a name, and the name isn’t “Naruto’s Horrible Evil Feelings That Only Other Monsters Have.” Obviously Sasuke was mad at him for doing his Convincing Female Disguise technique: Sasuke  _ obviously  _ has a crush on Sakura, that’s why he tried to get her on the team. The old Naruto would’ve felt jealous about this, but not now. Sakura can’t replace him as  _ brother _ , duh, she’s not a guy. 

_ Wait- can Sakura become a guy somehow? _

No, that’s a dumb idea, even for Naruto. Besides,if that were the case, then Sakura and Sasuke would simply become brothers too, probably, and everyone knows you can have more than one brother. Wow, Naruto is amazed at how fine he is able to convince himself he is. Of course he overreacted and drew the wrong conclusion from Sasuke’s outburst.  _ Duh.  _ Typical, dense Naruto. 

Thank goodness he has Sasuke to keep him from making those kind of mistakes. Naruto happily takes out the key to his and his brother’s apartment, and goes upstairs and inside. Maybe he’ll make breakfast for the family (just him and his Good Brother.) Despite everything, Naruto actually breaks into a smile.

He burns the shit out of breakfast though.

The next few days are a whirlwind. Sasuke wakes up at home to find Naruto making breakfast for them, which is not enough time for Sasuke to stop Naruto from burning breakfast for them, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. Sasuke’s just happy that Naruto came back at all. He’s indescribably relieved, and tries to apologize a number of times but Naruto just brushes him off. When Naruto isn’t watching, Sasuke takes a look at him with his Sharingan, but it’s the same as usual,  **“Lonely”** and  **“Hate”** coexisting. Maybe Sasuke and Naruto can coexist too. Just quietly, without either one admitting what they really are. Both of them have this thought, and both of them are incredibly foolish young boys. Go figure.

Sakura is released from the hospital the same night she arrives, and after having spent hours talking with Sasuke, she returns home to two very proud but very worried parents. She obviously doesn’t tell them about anything that happened, but privately she feels somehow excited. Feels like maybe she isn’t joining the team as an afterthought, but as an equal instead. 

She does her best not to think about Ino, but it proves extremely difficult, especially since the next day she finds out (from overhearing her parents on the phone) that Ino has been officially reprimanded for using clan techniques on private, civilian-owned property. Ino, for her part, doesn’t deny the allegations, but otherwise is remarkably quiet about everything that happened that night, which has sent her father into a nervous frenzy. His stress is magnified by the scrutiny of his good friends Choza Akimichi and Shikaku Nara, who awoke to find that their children were no longer on a genin team together, as that team had been officially disbanded, owing to Ino’s temporary military suspension. It is unclear what the three recent Academy graduates will do, moving forward.*

It  _ is  _ clear, however, what their jounin sensei will be doing. Asuma finds Naruto and Sasuke training early in the morning, sparring, waiting for Sakura and Kurenai to arrive. He suggests that Kurenai is unlikely to make an appearance that morning, and Naruto for some reason seems strangely willing to believe him. Asuma offers to spar with them for a bit, and the two eagerly agree while they wait for Sakura to show up to share the news.

When Sakura does arrive, Asuma ends the spar (as in, he handily wins it) and sits the three assembled genin down for a talk. 

“I’m...not really sure how to say this elegantly,” Asuma begins tiredly, and the assembled genin get the impression that he has not slept much in the past 24 hours. “So let me just say it. Team 7, you are not very popular in Konoha at the moment.

The Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka clans are pissed at you, Sakura.  _ All  _ of the clans are suspicious of you, Sasuke-kun, owing to your friendship with Naruto-kun, which is a situation I would be happy to explain to you in private later. As for you, Naruto-kun, well, I will just say that the public’s opinion of you has not changed much in the past 24 hours. I also feel as though it is my duty to inform you that an investigation has been opened into Kurenai-sensei regarding dereliction of duty. All in all, that’s bad news.”

The Team 7 genin exchange nervous glances. 

“Luckily for you, you have at least one friend in the Hokage’s office,” Asuma continues, “And lucky for Kurenai, she has at least one friend who doesn’t want to see her fail. So here’s the situation. I’m going to offer you three this mission, which is A-rank, and you can decide together if you want to take it on. If you decide you don’t want to do it, then I’m not sure what will happen to you. Most likely you will be put on probation until the investigation into Kurenai is complete, and then you will either stay a team, or disband. Everyone still following?”

“Could you become our jounin-sensei, Asuma-san?” Naruto asks, “Sasuke has told me before that he’d like that, although I’m not sure-”

Sasuke looks down at the ground to hide his blushing, while he squeezes Naruto’s hand  _ very intentionally.  _ Sakura puts two and two together, and has to look down as well, to avoid betraying a smile.

Asuma sees this and thinks to himself that these poor kids are so ashamed of potentially losing their sensei that they can't even bring themselves to look at him.

“Ah, Naruto, you know I’d be happy to,” Asuma sighs, scratching the back of his head, “But I’ve already been reassigned. That’s actually why I’m the one telling you all this stuff. The mission I’m here to offer you involves me. See, The Third wants me to take up the role of Village Ambassador to the Daimyo, since I served on-”

_ “The Twelve Guardian Ninja!”  _ Sasuke and Sakura blurt out at the same time. They exchange guilty glances: there’s a lot of  _ 12G _ fic out there, and Sasuke may have read some or all of it. Sakura isn’t a fan, but she is well read enough to know of the genre’s popularity.

“Uh, yeah,” Asuma confirms, a little surprised, “I have a lot of connections from my time in the capital, and I know a lot about the diplomatic process too, so it makes sense. Seems like a huge bore to me, which is why I initially asked to take on a genin squad instead, but now that that’s off the table, I don't really have a choice. Anyway, the mission is simply to escort me to the capital, and to help get me re-established in the diplomatic community. There’s also some stuff regarding the chunin exams, and maybe visiting other nations, but most of that is confidential. At least for now.

It’s unlikely to be dangerous, or exciting, and the mission parameters are quite narrow for the moment, but I thought that it would be a good way for all of you on Team 7 to escape the heat and lay low for a while. The old man agreed with me, and so here we are. Any questions?”

Sasuke and Sakura try desperately to filter their thought processes for questions  _ not  _ related to  _ 12G _ . Naruto has no such trouble.

“Would Kurenai be coming too?” Naruto asks, “Does she know about this yet?”

“Yes, she would continue acting as your jounin-sensei for this mission,” Asuma says, “And no, she doesn’t know yet, but you can rest assured that I will be explaining the situation to her, same as you, and suggesting  _ very strongly  _ that she accept the mission. It’s basically what she was doing for the last 10 or so years, so I’m sure she’ll be nostalgic enough for the capital to want to return.”

“Will you teach us some cool jutsu on the way there?” Naruto asks again, conveniently cutting off a question from Sasuke about Asuma’s relationship with some monk.

“Hm,” Asuma scratches his beard thoughtfully, “I don’t know, could an old geezer like me really hope to keep up with such bright, young pupils? It’s hard to say.”

“You’re not old, you’re super cool!” Sasuke blurts out, and then, immediately regretting his outburst, says, “OK I’m going to go back to the apartment to think, Naruto let’s go.”

The young Uchiha takes Naruto’s hand and leads him rather promptly away from the training ground. As it happens, this is how many of their training sessions with Asuma ended, back in the day, so neither Naruto nor Asuma think much of it, although Naruto does protest that he has more questions.

“Well, I better go find Kurenai-sensei,” Asuma says, watching the two boys leave before turning to address Sakura, “Is there anything you wanted to ask about the mission before I go, Sakura-chan?”

“Not really,” Sakura says hesitantly, “But I did want to ask more about Ino, if that’s OK? I’m worried about her.”

“Yeah, you were good friends, huh?” Asuma remarks, “Well, it’s not like she’s in jail or anything, she’s just been removed from service. Seems like she feels pretty bad about what she did, but I can never really tell when it comes to girls. Let’s see, what else...”

“Do you know if she’s OK? I think she hit her head yesterday after she, um, fainted.”

“Oh, yeah,” Asuma says, “Don’t worry about it. There was a medic-nin outside the onsen, and he took a quick look at her. She seemed fine, according to him, no cuts, no concussion. Guess she fell rather gracefully, heh.”

“Yeah, that sounds like her,” Sakura agrees, smiling a little.

“You know,” Asuma says, looking wearily off into the distance for a moment, “I’m really not an expert on this kind of thing, but it seems to me like you should probably give her some distance, kid. More for your sake than anything else. I’m not sure if Inoichi-san would be too happy to see you at the moment.”

“You’re probably right,” Sakura says slowly, and then, with renewed conviction, “OK, thank you Asuma sensei. In that case, I’m going to go read as much as I can about Fire Capital diplomacy so I can decide about this mission!”

Asuma waves as she departs, and then, alone on the training field, lights up a cigarette, probably the last he’ll be allowed before assuming his “important role as a representative of Konoha.” Well, best to set a good example for Kurenai. He takes a deep drag, then with a minor fire jutsu incinerates the cigarette and the box it came in. How he became the responsible one is utterly beyond him.

~~~

Ino stares vacantly at the flowers adorning the front of her mother’s store, leaning sullenly on one hand as she mans the cash register. Fucking pink carnations. The old Ino would have torn them to shreds, because it was dramatic and romantic and it would feel so good but now... now she lacks the energy. Like, what's the point? She has nothing. Everything was taken from her. Her team. Her future husband. Even her best friend is-

Well, “gone” is not the right word, but “incredibly compromised” would certainly work. Ino still has no idea how to process what she saw, but it does not seem like "friends" is a viable way forward anymore. The way she had looked seen through Sakura’s eyes, well, it was pretty much exactly how she’d always pictured herself. The shining, perfect idol, helping along the poor, naïve aspirant, the formers’s perfection and good heart serving to redeem even the frumpiest of losers. That was how Sakura saw her too, but not just that, or maybe just that, but turned up to 11, or that, but as if  _ Ino  _ was a boy, and  _ Sakura _ was crushing on  _ her  _ the way  _ she  _ crushed on  _ Sasuke _ -

She slams her head on the counter. Every thought is painful. She just wants to go to sleep and forget all of this. Before, she would have been dreaming of a knight in shining armor to come rescue her, but now, she thinks, as she slams her head against the counter again, now that seems like a stupid, childish dream. She lifts up her head to slam it once more and dispel the thought when-

“Oh, my! Now don’t be doing that!” says a voice she vaguely recognizes. She looks up to see the medic-nin who had briefly tended to her last night after she ruined her whole fucking life for no reason.

“Oh,” she says vacantly, “Um, Caputo, was it?”

“Kabuto,” the young man says, a little embarrassedly, pushing his glasses up, “Your sensei asked me last night to come see if you were fit for training this morning, you know, after you banged your head.”

“Right,” Ino says tightly, distantly remembering the exchange from last night. That feels like it was a million years ago. “Well, let me save you the effort. My team’s been disbanded and Asuma-sensei is headed to the Fire Capital to jerk off with the daimyo, so I won’t be training either way.”

“Oh no,” Kabuto says, a look of disappointment and pity contorting his features. So lame to be so expressive. Sasuke could teach him a thing or two. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Miss Yamanaka. Perhaps I could take a look anyway though, just for my own peace of mind?”

“Whatever,” Ino says, because she honestly couldn’t care less what happens to her at this point. 

Kabuto nods quickly, and then awkwardly shuffles over to where she’s standing at the counter. He leans over from the other side, and lifts up her hair, on the side of her head and-

Wow, now that Ino looks at him up close, he’s actually really toned, and he smells kind of, hot? Almost? Like sandalwood and incense. And the way he’s examining her so softly, like he’s terrified he might hurt her...Well, Sasuke obviously lacked that sense of delicacy. 

She notices that Kabuto has stopped examining her, although he’s still touching her hair.

“Um, excuse me?” Ino says sharply, “Forgot how to do your job?”

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” Kabuto says at once, taking a few steps back and blushing badly, “I was just- I’m sorry. Your hair is just...really beautiful.”

“Is it?” Ino says, idly considering a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face, “Well, I’m going to cut it all off, so take a good look.”

“Whoa, that’s brave,” Kabuto says in admiration, still blushing, “I bet your father won’t like that!”

“Yeah,” Ino says, as she eyes the man in front of her, “But fuck him. I’ve got nothing to lose.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is Sasuke's fault, but he's our precious boy. Pray for Team 7!
> 
> *Adventures of Choji and Shikamaru Not Having Any Responsibilities, who's going to write it?
> 
> Updated: Shikaku has exposition brain. Naruto's told he has the demon fox and his thoughts immediately go to Sasuke. Turns out he's actually been preparing his whole life to accept the idea that he has an unloveable monster inside of him. The fact that the monster isn't literally HIM is in fact a win all things considered.


	14. Can't Fight Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: reference to alcohol, grooming, substance abuse

Sasuke and Naruto leave the training ground, and after Asuma is safely out of earshot Sasuke slows down and stops pulling Naruto behind him. Naruto is familiar with this exit, but he is a little frustrated that Sasuke wouldn’t let  _ him  _ stay and ask his questions about their mission. 

“Bro, I don’t understand why you always run away from Asuma like that,” Naruto pouts, “Especially after we’ve been sparring. We’re not going to learn anything if you don’t let him teach us, you know!”

_ Bro? _

Sasuke dismisses the thought, because it was wrapped in the more important to navigate Crush-On-Asuma-Sensei issue, which Sasuke has no idea how to approach with Naruto, or really anyone who isn’t Sakura. Oh god, Sakura knows that he reads  _ 12G _ now, that’s...so bad. Actually, that’s a thought. Maybe he could give Naruto a copy of one of his  _ 12G  _ prints, and then Naruto can figure things out on his own, without an awkward embarrassing conversation? 

No, that’s silly. 

“I’m sorry, Naruto, you’re right,” Sasuke says, sighing, “I just got a bit, um, flustered. Because...of...um…”

“Because of the idea of going on an awesome  _ A-rank mission? _ ” Naruto finishes for him, face lighting up, “Yeah, that  _ is _ pretty cool, believe it! Our first mission being A-rank, can you imagine?”

“Yes, uh,” Sasuke agrees quickly, trying not to lie more than he needs to, “It’s pretty crazy, huh? Have you ever even left the village, Naruto?”

“Nope!” the young blonde replies brightly, “Never even been outside the village walls. But I want to go see the world, believe it! I really want to go someplace where nobody knows me and I can just be normal like everyone else!”

“That actually sounds, like, really nice,” Sasuke agrees, while privately cursing Konoha for the millionth time for being so god damn passively cruel to his good friend, “Well, I’ve been to the capital a couple of times with my family, but not since...we became friends. I think it would be cool to go back now that I’m a full-fledged genin and everything.”

“Yeah! Two cool bros taking on the evil elite of the fire capital!” Naruto says, striking a cool pose that Sasuke recognizes from a recently released movie that had the exact same premise, “Plus, Asuma-sensei might actually get around to teaching me some sick new wind jutsu while we’re there! Especially if you don’t make us  _ leave  _ before he can say anything.”

Sasuke considers this idea grimly. No escape from Asuma. No escape from Sakura’s knowing looks. He might be forced to just come out to Naruto and get things over with to save himself the stress later.

“Yeah, and Sakura-chan and Kurenai-sensei will be there too,” Sasuke says, to distract himself and Naruto, “I think we’ll probably get to learn a lot of cool stuff. Kurenai seems like she knows a lot about this I&I stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Naruto says tactfully, “Actually, you’re right! Maybe she can teach me to do a Convincing  _ Male  _ Disguise technique? Like, a big guy, with big muscles, and maybe a beard, oh, and a  _ thong _ -”

“SOUNDS CONVINCING, HAHA,” Sasuke says normally, slapping Naruto on the back, “Let’s go find Sakura then, and we can tell her what our choice is for the mission, and see if she wants to do it too.”

“Yeah, OK!” Naruto beams.

They continue walking for a bit.

“Where…” Naruto begins, looking around hesitantly, “Where does Sakura live though?”

Sasuke stops in his tracks.

“Um,” he says, absolutely not knowing the answer, “I don’t actually know. The… hospital? That can’t be right.”

“Well, maybe the hospital would know where she  _ does  _ live though?” Naruto says excitedly, “Or Ino might know, since she’s Sakura’s friend, although last time I saw her she was pretty mad at you, and me, and everything-”

The two of them talk excitedly about “pranking” Sakura by simply finding out where she is and then going to talk to her, which is now a skill they remember exists, and which Sasuke thinks might have been useful to apply before they began their earlier campaign to totally discredit her academically. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. 

The two of them are eventually successful, after many hijinks and antics, and decide with Sakura, who by then has checked out over a dozen books on Fire Capital related things, on reconvening at the training grounds where they met Asuma this morning. 

As for Asuma Sarutobi, he has just made his way to Kurenai Yuuhi’s apartment building, and is standing outside her door, thinking about how to proceed with the upcoming awful conversation. He decides to just go for it. He takes out the key she gave him years back, and unlocks the door, poking his head in.

“Kuren-” he begins to say before immediately pulling his head back and out of the way of a lazily thrown kunai.

“Go away,” says a muffled, exhausted voice coming from the couch in the apartment’s main living area. Ninja Jesus, she didn’t even make it to the bedroom, huh?

“Hey, just because I’m unemployed now doesn’t mean you are,” Asuma huffs, stepping fully into the apartment, another kunai is thrown his way but without much effort, and it clatters to the ground in front of him.

“Hey, Kurenai, seriously-” Asuma begins to say as he takes a step forward, but then stops as his face contorts in disgust, “Oh my god, Kurenai, it reeks in here, what the fuck? God it smells like vomit-”

“Yeah, watch where you step,” Kurenai mumbles, from her position face-down on the couch. Asuma looks down, but surprisingly, the floor is spotless, impressively clean-

“It’s genjutsu,” Kurenai adds, “It’s a lot of genjutsu. Seriously, do not take another step.”

“Alright,” Asuma agrees cautiously, quickly going through the handseals for a Fresh Air no Jutsu in order to stomach the awful odor of the apartment, “I’m staying here then, and we’re going to talk.”

“Nooooo,” Kurenai moans, still motionless on the couch, “I do  _ not  _ want to talk, I want to sleep for three-hundred years and forget I was ever a jounin sensei.”

“Well, that might be an option if you don’t fucking get your shit together!” Asuma says irritably, “Seriously, you know they opened an investigation into you? For  _ dereliction of duty _ ? That’s serious shit, Ren, you might be discharged if they aren’t happy.”

“Fuck off,” Kurenai replies, “I’m just keeping my I&I skills sharp. ‘S’all I’m good for anyway.”

“Kur-” Asuma takes a step forward, then trips on something and falls forward onto the couch, through what is evidently just an illusion of a prone Kurenai. 

“Ow,” Kurenai mumbles from her spot on the ground. Didn’t even make it to the  _ couch.  _ Good god. 

“Alright, get up here.” Asuma says, sitting up on the couch and patting the spot beside him. “We need to have an uncomfortable conversation.”

“This is already uncomfortable,” Kurenai says wearily, although she does sit up. The genjutsu version of her from before looked a lot less fucked up and hungover. This is sad. 

“Listen,” Asuma begins, leaning forward, so that his elbows are resting on his knees, “I...you...you know I blame myself for your alcoholism.”

“Not an alcoholic,” Kurenai says, hungoverly, “First of all, second of all, not your fault. That’s how I&I is. Has always been. You drink to get information from people who drink more than you. I knew that, still know that. That’s how it works in the capital.”

“Yeah, but you _ followed me _ to the capital,” Asuma sighs, “Because I couldn’t sit still, and you didn’t want to make me. Didn’t want you to go undercover in some godforsaken outpost in Suna. Didn’t...”

Kurenai is silent, looks away. Asuma doesn’t finish his thought.

“Well, anyway, we left pieces of ourselves in the capital,” Asuma says at last, “I regret that. I think you regret it too.”

“No,” Kurenai says, with quiet determination, “I don’t regret a thing. I got stronger there. Learned a lot. Picked up skills that no one else in this fucking village has.”

“Getting wasted is not a skill-”

“ _ Fuck you _ ,” Kurenai shouts, standing up suddenly. She wavers a bit but doesn’t immediately fall back over, “Fuck you for moralizing at me, fuck you for pretending to grow up. I didn’t need you then, I don’t need you now.”

“That’s fine,” Asuma says calmly, leaning back, “But _ they  _ need you. You let Sakura get hurt. That’s on  _ you _ , and it has nothing to do with my moralizing.”

“That’s-” Kurenai says, choking back a sob, “Maybe-”

“Listen, if you want me to pretend you’re fine, I will,” Asuma says, standing up, “I know you went through things there that you can’t tell me about, that you had to work through yourself. If you want to keep everything to yourself that’s your call. But I care about these kids too, you know. I don’t want to see them get hurt the same way we did.”

“...Yeah,” Kurenai agrees eventually, looking away, “Is that what you;re here to tell me? ‘Shape up or I’m taking your genin squad away,’ Hokage’s orders?”

“No, in fact it’s pretty much the opposite,” Asuma chuckles, “He’s sending me to the capital. To be a fucking diplomat.”

Kurenai looks at him with intense incredulity, and for a moment it’s like they’re sixteen again, Asuma boasting about his latest adventure with the guardians, her absolutely not believing him, and finding out later that it  _ was true  _ from some sauced-up dignitary.

“No shit?” she says, clapping him on the shoulder, “Guess you can’t run from destiny, huh?”

“Pretty much,” Asuma sighs, putting his hands in his pockets, “The Old Man gets what he wants one way or another.”

Asuma looks through his pockets absently, before realizing something and frowning a bit. He looks back up at Kurenai.

“And he wants you to come,” Asuma says seriously, “You and Team 7.”

“What?” Kurenai says incredulously, not understanding Asuma immediately, “Wha- why would he possibly want that?”

“Seems like it’s mostly to get you out of the village,” Asuma shrugs, “Honestly it seems like a good idea to me. Plus, you know how it is in the village. You can try to push these kids into I&I all you want, but one way or another they’re going to end up on the battle field, blasting jutsu into civilian troops and patching eachother up from nothing. ‘Least this way you give them a fighting chance.”

“That’s,” Kurenai considers, “Painfully accurate. Maybe this way we can dodge the chunin exams too?”

“Seems possible,” Asuma concedes, “Especially since you and me will be doing the intelligence groundwork to see if they even end up happening.”

Kurenai puts a finger to her chin in thought. Thinks for a moment. Eventually she sighs in exasperation, and bends down to take off her sandals.

“Alright. Consider me on board,” she says, kicking her sandals off and standing up, “If the kids haven’t given up on me then I am sure as hell am not going to be the one to give up on them. I’m going to shower and make a cup of coffee or three.”

“Great. I’ll go see if I can round up those genin of yours, see what they decided” Asuma says, grinning, “Glad to have you on board, Yuuhi.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be, Sarutobi,” Kurenai replies sardonically before closing the door to her bathroom. Asuma resists the urge to grab the pack of cigarettes he  _ knows _ is in the third drawer from the top over in Kurenai’s kitchen, and instead makes a beeline for the fridge. He walks out of the apartment with a dozen bottles of alcohol of various fullnesses, tosses them in the building’s dumpster on the way out. 

Asuma makes his way back to the training ground, and is joined by Kurenai shortly after, looking clean and without a trace of last night’s shame on her. As a team, Team 7 all agree that this mission to the capital sounds like an excellent idea, and just like, it’s decided. Asuma will take the news to the Hokage to make things official, and tomorrow they will leave for the Fire Capital, for a new adventure, and into a world of deception and intrigue that none of them are truly prepared to face.

That same night, before Team 7 leaves for the capital, Kabuto Yakushi is busy planting some recently purchased flowers in his garden. Suddenly, out from the rose bushes by the side of his house a small, white snake darts at him threateningly. He screams in panic, and clumsily throws a shuriken at it, immobilizing it. He takes a moment to catch his breath, and then picks up the poor thing’s body, to take it to the garbage bin behind his home. Once out of sight, he channels a small amount of chakra into the snake’s body, and suddenly the snake disappears in a puff of smoke. Only a moment later, Kabuto disappears in much the same way.

Simultaneously, in Ryuuchi Cave, on more or less a different plane of existence, Kabuto Yakushi appears, stands up gracefully, and dusts himself off. He is confronted with a very angry looking little snake.

“Thank you,  _ SsssSssS, _ ” Kabuto says to the small snake who helped summon him. The snake looks at him angrily, which is fair given the only slightly blunted shuriken in its back, then slithers off to do snake things, passing over another shinobi’s sandals as she leaves.

“Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto says, bowing to the man standing in front of him, “It is good to see you again.”

“Yes, yes, and you as well, Kabuto,” the Snake Sannin hisses impatiently, “You called this meeting, did you not? So what is it that you have to report? I’m supposed to see the daimyo of the Land of Rice Fields today and I need to make my face up.”

Kabuto does not laugh at this joke; it is not a new joke, and they both know it. 

“Well, Orochimaru-sama, the newest cohort of genin graduated from the Academy yesterday, and I thought you’d be interested to hear-”

“Ah, I trust young Sasuke Uchiha is among them?” Orochimaru interrupts eagerly, awful tongue licking his horrible lips, “Is he strong? To whom has he been assigned? The Hatake whelp?”

“He was not assigned to Kakashi Hatake’s team, although Sasuke was promoted to genin,” Kabuto confirms, “Top of his class, too. I suppose one should expect nothing less from the brother of Itachi-”

Orochimaru hisses furiously, his gross, oily hair literally beginning to float and writhe like a fucked-up Medusa.

“How  _ dare  _ you speak that  _ wretched  _ boy’s name in front of me?”

“Ah, Orochimaru-sama, my humblest apologies, I-”

“Fufufufu,” Orochimaru chuckles, dropping the act immediately, “I’m only joking, my boy. It would be tacky to consider such a silly child my mortal enemy, especially considering what I’m going to do to his brother.”

“Er, quite,” Kabuto agrees, pushing up his glasses nervously.

“Horrible things, Kabuto. That’s what I’m going to do.”

“Of course, Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto agrees, “That’s why I asked to meet. It seems that young Sasuke is going to be leaving the village on a mission rather soon.”

“Yes, I know, boy, I’ve been in talks with Gato and that infuriating bridge-builder-”

“No, sir, not to the Land of Waves,” Kabuto corrects him, “Sasuke and his team are headed to  _ The Fire Capital _ .”

“What?” Orochimaru hisses in surprise, “He’s only a genin, what business would he have there?”

“It seems his team, and in particular their jounin sensei, Kurenai Yuuhi, are being tasked with escorting Asuma Sarutobi there so that the latter can perform certain  _ diplomatic duties. _ ”

“Ah,” Orochimaru smiles evilly as he recognizes the implications, “Perhaps duties relating to the upcoming Chunin Exams, to be hosted in Konoha, involving the participation of nearly every Hidden Village?”

“That would be my guess, yes,” Kabuto confirms, grinning slightly, “I imagine that Sarutobi will be expected to meet with envoys from all of the participating villages, including-”

“Including, one must imagine, The Village Hidden In The Sound,” Orochimaru revels, before saying in mock despair, “But- shock and horror, I’ve yet to  _ appoint  _ anyone to the position of envoy, Kabuto! Whatever will I do?”

“Lord Orochimaru, may I humbly suggest that you speak with the noble diplomat Sarutobi, and his trusted escorts, yourself?”

“Fufufufufufufu,” Orochimaru chortles, “I suppose I will have to. Ah, Kabuto, I must say, this is truly good news. How did you learn of all this?”

“Oh, I just tapped the Yamanaka heir for info,” Kabuto says mildly, “She attacked some civilian-born kid on Sasuke’s team, started a whole scandal. Hokage’s trying to keep everything under wraps, send the kids out of the village, take the Yamanaka off duty.”

“Oh, poor thing,” Orochimaru says sympathetically, “Well what is the poor girl going to do now, while all her friends are off playing ninja?”

“Don’t worry, sir, I reminded her that her cousin has found gainful employment as a bodyguard for Lord Danzo, despite being only a genin himself. I posited that she could ask him for advice.”

“My goodness,” Orochimaru says, intensely proudly, a tear coming to his eye, “You sent her to  _ Danzo?  _ To  _ ROOT?  _ Kabuto,your ruthlessness never ceases to amaze me.”

“Well, I learned from the best, sir.”

“Fufufufufu, what would I do without you my boy? Now come, my plans have changed, obviously.”

“Sir? Your meeting with the Daimyo from the Land of Rice Fields?”

“I’ll send a shadow clone. Right now, you and I have some  _ terrible schemes  _ to hatch.”

In the dank light of Ryuuchi Cave, the two of them do just that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another delayed chapter, sorry for the wait!  
> The destiny in question here is Sasuke getting corrupted by darkness! But he has so many close friends around him, how could that happen? Surely Naruto will be able to stop him this time :3


	15. Foreign Agent Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: reference to alcohol, reference to drowning, panic attacks, trouble breathing, reference to murder, depictions of blood

In the early morning, Kurenai, the Team 7 genin, and Asuma met not at the training grounds, but at the village’s eastern* gates, along with what appeared to be relatively sparse travelling gear. The sparsity was an illusion, but not of the genjutsu variety. It was merely the product of each of them having been provided several storage scrolls, and those scrolls taking up far less room than true luggage would. More or less a whole person’s worth of things could fit inside of one.

Naruto and Sasuke had packed similarly, mostly clothes and ninja tools. Kurenai had assured them that she would provide them all with the tools needed to perform their mission duties, so the boys had been at somewhat of a loss as to what to pack, leaving them with a few spare scrolls. These were quickly obtained by their remaining teammate, as Sakura had already exhausted her allocated scrolls with makeup implements, a vast wardrobe, and more than anything book after book after book. This literacy was met with a mixture of awe and disgust from the boys, but that didn’t stop them from each taking a book from her collection for their own for the journey: Swimsuit Models of the Fire Country for Naruto (For research, believe it! Also, Sakura, why do you have this?) and The Clans of Konoha for Sasuke.

Kurenai’s scrolls were packed with teaching implements, hastily requisitioned I&I tools, some dresses from years ago that were doubtless no longer in style in the ever-changing fashion of the Fire Capital, but which Kurenai liked nonetheless. There had also been a scroll reserved for several bottles- for emergencies only! -but Kurenai had been unable to find the majority of her stash last night, and so had settled on keeping the scroll in reserve.

Asuma had been given many more scrolls, many of which contained scrolls themselves, various official directives and authorizations from the Hokage, copies of certain laws, diplomatic procedures, and in general a disgusting workload of material to prep before making it to the capital. It would probably take him days to digest it all.

Luckily, the Fire Capital was several days journey away. An arduous journey, but not for those with access to storage scrolls, and the luxury of making a few stops, both of which the travellers possessed in abundance. The first of these luxury stops was to be a nearby tourist destination, Shukuba Town. The pretense was that Asuma was going to inspect a newly built inn in town, advertised as a ninja-friendly destination, but the real reason was explained to Team 7 on their way there.

“I’ve been assigned the role of chunin-exam officiator,” Asuma explains, “Which is a diplomatic role that until now has been held by someone else, so we have to go inform her of the change in role, and for that we will need to figure out where she is.”

“Wouldn’t this person be in the Fire Capital?” Sakura suggests helpfully, “That’s where the Hokage’s Representative stays, isn’t it?”

“That’s where she _should_ be, and where we will go as soon as we’ve given her the news,” Asuma confirms, “But despite receiving a government salary for the past, I don’t know, twenty years, Ms. Senju has neglected to perform her duties in really any capacity.”

“Wait, Ms. Senju?” Sasuke asks, “You mean _Tsunade_ Senju? One of the _Sannin_?”

“That’s the one,” Kurenai says cheerfully, “She’s quite hard to pin down, which is why we’re going to Shukuba Town first. There’s an old master of I&I there who’s planning to help us.”

“Who?” Naruto inquires brightly.

“Ah, well, you know the old expression,” Asuma says, grinning slightly, “It takes a Sannin to catch a Sannin.”

“You mean we’re going to see... _Ochomiraru?”_ Naruto guesses, wildly incorrectly.

“N...no,” Asuma says, hesitantly, “Let’s hope we don’t run into him.”

“I see no reason why we would,” Kurenai offers lightly, to assuage Asuma’s worries if nothing else, “Unless he’s somehow founded a ninja village and is heading to the chunin exams there should be no reason for us to expect him to make an appearance.”

“That sounds about right,” Asuma agrees, “No, Naruto, we’re going to go seek help from the other man in the Sannin, the famous and infamous _Jiraiya,_ a master spy in his own right, the legendary Toad Sage himself.”

The Team 7 genin look amongst themselves with barely concealed excitement, and the remainder of their time walking the road to Shukuba Town is spent discussing and imagining what this ultimate ninja will be like. Sasuke imagines a tall, elegant man, his wild white hair the only sign that beneath this cool facade lies a raging fire of passion and determination. Sakura’s image is more practical, an older man, because the Sannin are _old_ now, Sasuke, rifling through reports, a pipe in hand, various toad helpers bringing him news and intelligence. 

Naruto just imagines an old guy who looks like a frog, and of the three he ends up having the closest guess. Despite this, he is just as disappointed as the rest of his fellow teammates when they arrive at the “home” of “Jiraiya” only to find that here “home” refers to a small, stone statue of a frog, on a forgotten corner, outside a rundown, old onsen. The statue depicts the frog hiding behind a large leaf, and looking at the onsen, as if trying to sneak a peek inside. It’s no bigger than a small dog, and appears entirely unremarkable.

“This is not Jiraiya,” Sasuke says firmly as Team 7 and Asuma huddle around the statue, “You should not have suggested that we would be meeting the legendary Toad Sage Jiraiya.”

“Agreed,” Sakura and Naruto complain.

“Well he wouldn’t be a very good spy if anyone could just find him whenever they want, now would he?” Kurenai suggests, patiently, “There has to be hidden channels, and this is one of them. This statue is how we communicate with Jiraiya when he’s undercover or off in a different country. All you need to do is put your Konoha hitai-ate in front of the frog’s eyes, and then you will be able to speak to Jiraiya.”

This sneaky messaging scheme is enough to suspend the Team 7 genins’ disbelief once more, and after some brief negotiating and drawing of straws, it is determined that Sasuke will get to do the honours of meeting and conversing with the legendary Sannin.

Carefully, reverently, Sasuke steps in front of the statue and gets down on his knees. He slowly unties his headband, on which his forehead protector rests, and, trembling slightly, he tilts it forward, so that it is facing the frog statue. As the hitai-ate comes into view, it’s as if Sasuke has placed a magnet in front of another, and, having disrupted some field, the statue begins to shimmer with green chakra, and slowly the stone changes colour, to a dull, faded red. 

The statue moves. Its head cocks to one side, then the other, and then it seems to let go of the leaf in front of it, which has remained stone. The statue is no longer a statue in the shape if a frog, it is a frog in the shape of a statue. This suddenly-alive frog stretches, yawns, and then finally leans against the leaf nonchalantly, looking up with a deep wisdom and scrutiny at the young boy in front of it.

“Hm,” the frog says in a deep, gravelly voice, “Some Uchiha brat using my shrine? I don’t recognize you boy. Show me those famous eyes if you are truly a ninja of Konoha worthy of my time.”

Sasuke’s eyes widen, and he looks up at Kurenai and Asuma, who are watching patiently. They give him a nod to proceed and so he swallows nervously, before looking back at the toad sage.

“Of...of course, Jiraiya-sama,” Sasuke squeaks out, and then, gulping he activates his Sharingan as instructed. Immediately a single, weathered word appears above the small frog-

**“Ribbit.”**

“It’s just a fucking frog,” Sasuke says in exasperation, deactivating his Sharingan in disgust, his words causing Sakura and Naruto to begin angrily complaining again to the jounin accompanying them. 

“Hey, bub, I ain’t ‘just’ a frog,” the frog says, “I got a sacred duty over here, and I would appreciate it if you dumbass kids didn’t disturb it.”

“Jirojiroji,” Kurenai says politely, ignoring Naruto and Saukra’s protests to go kneel beside Sasuke, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Eh? Is that the Yuuhi girl?” the frog squints at Kurenai, “My goodness, you’ve... developed. Your genjutsu skill in particular, I can tell-” the frog reaches out to test the realness of the person before him.

“And you haven’t changed at all,” Kurenai says impatiently, swatting the frog’s fondling fingers away from her chest, “We need to contact Jiraiya. Give him this message.”

Kurenai takes out a small scroll and hands it to the cranky amphibian.

“We’ll be staying at the newly built inn here in town, JJJ,” Kurenai says curtly, “Find us when you get a response.”

“Tch,” Jirojiroji replies, before making a little handseal and disappearing in a puff of smoke. Kurenai gets up and joins Asuma as he turns to leave, leaving the Team 7 genin somewhat dumbfounded.

“Hey, wait,” Sasuke calls out, as he stands up, “What- what-”

“What the fuck was that?” Naruto finishes for him, “ _That’s_ Jiraiya? He’s tiny! Is he even a real ninja?”

“And why is he staring at the onsen?” Sakura adds, as the kids begin to follow their joun-sensei, “Isn’t that the women’s side? And how did he see Sasuke’s forehead protector when he’s a statue?”

“The answer,” Kurenai says with great weariness, still walking beside Asuma, “Is that Jiraiya-san is a creepy, perverted old geezer, and you all should be grateful that he will not be making an appearance in person. Especially you, Naruto.”

“Me?” Naruto says, taken aback, “Why me?”

“Nevermind,” Kurenai decides, “Just, let’s make an agreement that while we’re here in Shukuba Town you won’t use your Convincing Female Disguise technique, alright?”

“Can I use my Convincing _Male_ Disguise technique?”

“Can you normally?”

“...No,” Naruto admits dejectedly, “But that sucks! I was reading all about different models I could use for my Sexy- for my jutsu! Now what am I going to do? That’s my only good jutsu!”

“Don’t worry about that, Naruto-kun,” Asuma says pleasantly, “Kurenai and I aren’t going to just throw you kids headfirst into the Fire Capital without preparing you. Jiraiya will probably take a few days to respond to us, so in that time we’ll be teaching you, _all of you_ , what you need to know about Intelligence and Infiltration work, and training you too.”

This is enough to tide the children over until they make it back to the inn they’re staying at. Naruto, Sasuke and Asuma in one room, Kurenai and Sakura in another. They unpack some things, and then go across the street to a small yakitori restaurant to discuss the mission and the capital.

“The first thing I want to impress on you all,” Kurenai says, after they’ve all had a chance to eat a few fine skewers of grilled meat, “Is that despite this being an A-rank mission, you all are _not_ in A-rank danger. In fact, the only reason this qualifies as a ‘mission’ at all, and not, you know, a genin squad travelling to the capital with another jounin, is because of Asuma’s new title. Since he is of ‘diplomatic importance’ now, he is now worthy of A-rank protection.”

“And normally that would mean I get assigned a jounin escort,” Asuma nods, in agreement with what Kurenai says, “But, as it happens, I’m something of a former jounin myself, which makes the whole thing a little redundant. So you all get to tag along as my ‘escort’ but believe me when I say, I can handle myself just fine. If anything, _I’ll_ be escorting _you._ ” 

“Haha,” Kurenai mock-laughs, “That’s not true. Asuma-san _will_ be doing real work in the capital, and it’s my intent that you three will learn how to support that work from an I&I standpoint. That’s what we will be training you to do, more or less.”

“But what does ‘real work’ mean?” Sasuke asks, “I thought that the Hokage already had a representative in the Fire Capital? Like, a permanent one?”

“He does,” Asuma confirms, “We’re going to meet him after we speak to Tsunade, and most of the work I’m doing will involve him in some capacity. The difference, however, is that he is handling _all_ the diplomatic matters concerning the village and the capital, whereas I will be focusing solely on the upcoming chunin exams. Mostly that will mean meeting with envoys from the other Hidden Villages to determine administrative things like how many teams they might send, and which jounin, as well lodging requirements, travel accommodations, other ceremonial necessities-”

“Stop, please,” Naruto says suddenly, “This is so boring. I’m so bored. I thought we were going to be _spies-”_

“Naruto, please don’t say that so loudly.”

“-Sorry, Kurenai sensei. But I thought we were going to be _doing stuff!_ This just sounds like a bunch of like, paperwork and meetings and stuff. That sounds like hell.”

Asuma grimaces at this suggestion, with which he fully agrees.

“Well, Naruto, let me explain the I&I angle then,” Kurenai says pointedly, “It’s not talked about much, because most I&I operations are top-secret, including this one, by the way, but in general we will try to ‘look underneath the underneath’ of what’s going on politically in the Capital to try and identify intelligence threats and opportunities, and then act on them.”

“What’s an intelligence threat?” Sakura pipes up, “Is that like having lead in the water?”

“No, although that’s certainly bad,” Kurenai responds, “In general, an intelligence threat is any knowledge held by an individual which could be used to threaten the military operations of our village, and which we have reason to believe _will_ be used in such a way.

Half of our job as I&I is simply identifying what our enem- I mean, what _other nations_ know about our military, and how they found out, and what they can do with that information. This is how we can support Asuma-sensei and vice-versa: he identifies potential targets through diplomatic means, and we probe them for information using...covert methods. Conversely, we can acquire intelligence by our own means which can inform the diplomatic bartering that Asuma will be forced to do on a daily basis, like Ninja Sisyphus.”

“That’s very funny, Kurenai.”

“Funny?” Naruto says, squinting, “You mean...like a pr-”

“Yes, Naruto, like a prank. In this case the prank is finding out things that people didn’t want us to know, and then surprising them with the fact that we do in fact know those things.”

“That sounds like a really good prank,” Naruto says, nodding, “But also maybe way harder than anything I’ve done before? I’m not really sure if I can do that.”

“Yes, Kurenai-sensei, I agree with Naruto,” Sasuke adds anxiously, “We don’t know how to do any of that stuff! We’re not going to be helpful for you guys at all. We didn’t even know this mission was top-secret until just now, we might leak information accidentally, or, someone could trick us, or, or-”

“Sasuke,” Kurenai says firmly, putting a hand on his trembling ones, “Thank you for that great investigation of possible dangers in this mission, but please, rest assured that Asuma and I have been doing this a _long_ time, and not only are we alive to tell the tale, we are alive to teach others how to do it. You’re going to be fine, and safe, and you will learn lots, I promise.”

“It’s like I said, kid,” Asuma says, smiling reassuringly, “We’re not going to throw you into the deep end, OK? No one’s drowning here on our watch.”

“Al...alright,” Sasuke says at last, taking some comfort in his teachers’ words. The pressure to protect Naruto, to be strong, is nearly suffocating, but with their help he fights through it. He catches his breath, and he’s OK. He’s surrounded by his friend, and his good friend, and two awesome jounin, and he can breathe.

~o~

“OK, he isn’t breathing,” Kabuto thinks to himself, as he removes his hands from around the neck of the man before him. He seals the body in a storage seal (impossible to do with a living person, no reason why it wouldn’t work on a corpse) and begins cleaning up the scene of the crime. It triggers a sort of nostalgic fondness in him, from back in his foreign-agent days. Even the diplomat’s mansion in which he now finds himself is familiar to others he has infiltrated and murdered in before. This one has a Land of Iron theme, for some reason, Kabuto guesses that it must have belonged to a Land of Iron dignitary before changing hands to the Hokage’s Representative in the Fire Capital.

And now, to him. Kabuto pauses a moment in scrubbing the room of any incriminating evidence to consider if he might want to redecorate. Some snake statues maybe? No, that would be too obvious, might incriminate him. He has to maintain appearances, after all. Still, if he’s going to impersonate this awful man for potentially _months_ he ought to be allowed _something_ to make the experience more enjoyable, even if it’s just a private joke for himself.

His cleaning takes him to a large display case, where a rather significant bloodstain is obscuring the contents within. He places a gloved-hand to it and wicks away the blood with a “Evidence of Despicable Crimes Disappearing no Jutsu” and notices the rather ostentatious antique behind it. It’s too perfect. He gingerly opens the case, and places his hand on one of the pieces inside, and draws on a small symbol using some leftover blood. He changes the blood to ink with another simple jutsu, and closes the display case back up.

After finishing up the last necessary adjustments to the crime scene, and replacing the many useless sensor-wards he tripped on his way in, Kabuto walks idly up to the door to find a few letters on the ground that he had stepped over when breaking in initially. He takes a recently cleaned letter-opener and opens the most interesting one: “URGENT: FROM THE DESK OF THE HOKAGE.”

It confirms what he was sent here to ensure: Asuma Sarutobi and Team 7 are on their way to the Fire Capital to dive into the deep end. Kabuto smiles. How he does enjoy lurking in such waters in wait. He settles into the richly adorned armchair in his new study and begins to lurk in earnest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I have no idea in which direction Shukuba town is. Will change this if someone knows!
> 
> OK, they're out! Time for this fic to go off the rails. Serious warning, this is going to go into very canon-distant lands like, right now, and basically for the rest of the fic. If that's not your cup of tea, then may I send you off with my gratitude for having read this much, and the faint hope that our best boys and girls will somehow overcome their trauma and live happily ever after. Thank you for reading! Goodbye!
> 
> Ok, are they gone? Alright, the rest of you. Pray for your fucking boys, pray for Sakura, pray for Kurenai. We're halfway through part one of what I'm planning to be a four part series, and things are bound to happen that perpetuate the story for three more parts, if you catch my drift. I hope you'll stick around to see what those are, and for more Sneaky shenanigans. 
> 
> I've reached 50,000 words on this fic, which was my goal at the start of this month, so I'm going to be updating more slowly than I was for the first two weeks, although still frequently I hope. I never expected to get such a positive and enthusiastic response to this fic, and I'm really grateful to all of you for reading, commenting, and coming back week after week. Thank you all, and please, stay tuned!


	16. This Is A Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: vivid depictions of alcohol poisoning, intoxication, drunkenness etc, mention of torture, mentions of blood, emetophobia

It’s late in Shukuba now, and quiet. Tourist Season is going to begin soon, since it is the beginning of summer, but very few have actually made their way so early into the season. Aside from the inn, and the yakitori restaurant across from it, the street Team 7 finds themselves on is relatively empty compared to the rest of the town, which boasts numerous pachinko parlors, kitschy souvenir stores, and other Fire-Nation memorabilia. On this quiet street, night settles in gently, a warm, humid blanket of buzzing insects and twinkling lights slowly enveloping the town. This is a slow place, at least for now, and while they are forced to wait for word from Jiraiya about Tsunade’s whereabouts, they have no reason to hurry things along.

“Now, I realize that all this I&I stuff might seem like way too much to take in,” Kurenai says, to her gathered genin, lounging around the grill in the restaurant, “But tomorrow we will get started on breaking it down for you piece-by-piece. As complicated as all this seems, it’s actually a fairly small part of most nations’ militaries these days, so the level of danger and competition is relatively low.”

“Wait, it’s a small part?” Sakura says, confused, “But aren’t we...ninja? Isn’t this kind of stuff like, all of what ninja do? Sneaking around and gathering intelligence and stuff?”

“You’d think so,” Asuma says, picking at an errant skewer of leftover food, “And back before the advent of ninja villages, this kind of stuff  _ was _ mostly how ninja clans made money. They’d be hired by some warlord or shogun or daimyo to do something that required skills that civilians couldn’t duplicate, or couldn’t duplicate to the same degree of precision. Then, mission complete, they’d move on to the next-highest bidder, or move against whoever whoever else was looking to secure that bid. 

Thanks to the First Hokage, however, all of that changed. Ninja clans banded together, refused to work against each other, and essentially went on retainer for the most interested party. Sometimes by force, truth be told. Ninja villages were formed one way or another, and the rest is history.”

Sakura nods in realization at this, while Naruto and Sasuke exchange confused looks. 

“I’m guessing you two aren’t familiar with that history either,” Asuma sighs, realizing the source of their confusion, “I thought they taught all this stuff in the academy? How does Sakura-chan know it and not you two?”

Sasuke starts to sweat. 

“Don’t be so critical, Asuma,” Kurenai chides him, “History’s not for everyone. I remember you being just as reluctant to learn it as the boys are now.”

Kurenai turns to address Sasuke and Naruto directly.

“Essentially, once the Hidden Villages were in place, their concentration of power made them more important targets for military operations than the capital cities that had previously been the focus. At the same time, the prevalence of skilled ninja in the general population made ninja villages extremely difficult to infiltrate, even for other skilled ninja. It still does happen, but it’s far more dangerous, and generally only done by ANBU-level ninja these days.

Anyway, without espionage as a strongly viable option, combat in the age of Hidden Villages shifted mostly to large-scale skirmishes in the field, a job previously reserved for civilian troops. This led to a jutsu arms-race, which further increased the power of ninja, and diminished the relevance of civilian forces, and as another consequence, made I&I almost obsolete.  _ Almost. _ ”

“So that means,” Sakura adds cautiously, “That even though I&I is important, it’s not as important as it used to be, and if it’s not as important then it’s not as dangerous either?”

“Bingo,” Asuma says, grinning, “We’re long past the days of assassinated diplomats and honeypot romances changing the tides of battle overnight. Those things only happen in stories.”

“That’s right,” Kurenai agrees, nodding along with Asuma, “Although those things  _ have  _ certainly happened _.  _ Unfortunately, the deeds and exploits of the great I&I ninja of Konoha have been, for good reason, kept classified, so unless you want to specifically ask about  _ my _ missions, there’s not much to really-”

“Yes, tell us!” the genin all demand, causing Kurenai to blush in surprise and Asuma to laugh heartily. They spend the rest of the night talking about Kurenai’s missions in I&I, and Asuma even chimes in to tell a couple stories about the Twelve Guardians, which Sasuke and Sakura are absolutely  _ living for  _ in that moment, and it’s not until the moon is high in the ever-illuminated skies above Shukuba that these ninja of Konoha return at last to their quarters.

In the morning Asuma and the Team 7 ninja get dressed in their respective rooms, then after indulging in a ninja continental breakfast they all reconvene back in Asuma and the boys’ room, which is the larger of the two, to discuss their plans for the coming days.

“Alright, there’s still  _ plenty  _ for us to teach you about I&I,” Kurenai begins, addressing the genin seated around her on a pair of tasteful sectionals, “But before we continue down that road, I want to test your fundamentals, and get a better idea of what roles I will have you take on this team. 

To that end, I first want to test your ability to resist a simple genjutsu. So, each of you step up. I’ll perform the genjutsu on you, and then you release it using the  _ kai  _ technique you learned in class.”

Given their arrangement in front of her, it seemed to fall to Sakura to be the first victim, followed by Naruto, then Sasuke. Recognizing this, Sakura nervously got to her feet to stand in front of Kurenai. She had actually always been good at this exercise in class, although her grades didn’t reflect it, so she had no real reason to be afraid, except of course for the fact that her teammates, the #1 and #2 in the class, were watching and scrutinizing her.

“Alright, Sakura, you’re first,” Kurenai confirms, as she sizes up the genin in front of her, “Now you should be familiar with this genjutsu from the academy, but just so there are no surprises I’ll describe it. 

The genjutsu I’ll be using on you is called “Snap-Chat Filter no Jutsu,” and all it does is cause you to see a pair of dog ears floating in front of the faces of other people. Obviously this is harmless, but it can be disorienting to have what is more-or-less a hallucination occurring that you can’t control, so if at any point you feel too scared or overwhelmed, just tell me, or cover your eyes, and I’ll stop the genjutsu.”

If Sakura was nervous but managing before this speech, she was now positively shaking, despite the lack of real danger. She could feel Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes behind her, no doubt intensely judgmental. Impatient. Kurenai was looking at her sympathetically, patiently, but that was also no doubt a facade. The kind of faux-patience and care that Ino had always radiated. Sakura knew it was fake then, knows it’s fake now. All she can do is try not to make a fool of herself. To that end, she is determined to do well.

“Ready?” Kurenai asks, putting her hands together in preparation to perform the genjutsu.

“Yes,” Sakura stammers, balling her fists. Kurenai nods, then performs literally only three hand seals, before saying firmly, “Snap-Chat Filter no Jutsu!” 

Immediately the jutsu takes effect, and Sakura is...totally fine. All she sees is a pair of cute, furry ears sprout from behind Kurenai’s head, and they’re obviously fake. As Kurenai subtly moves her head, the ears are slow to follow, and sometimes they blink out of existence all together, before reappearing. Honestly, the jutsu seems kind of hastily designed.

Feeling a little silly for getting so worked up, Sakura rallies her chakra, and says a little bit louder than she would if she was simply speaking, “ _ kai!” _ The doggy ears she was seeing disappear immediately. 

“Well done,” Kurenai says, confirming for Sasuke and Naruto that something actually, you know, happened, since they weren’t affected by the jutsu and simply saw Saura and Kurenai standing across from each other. “Easy, right?”

“Yes, it was, um, easier than I expected,” Sakura says, a little embarrassed.

“See, nothing to worry about,” Kurenai smiles, then motions for Sakura to sit and Naruto to take her place. “You and Sasuke should have nothing to worry about, but let’s go ahead and do it anyway. Ready, Naruto?”

Naruto nods, and Kurenai goes through the same few hand seals, performs the same jutsu. Naruto shouts  _ “kai!”  _ loudly, and Kurenai nods, although she smiles slightly as she does so.

“I’m not sure if that ‘ _ kai’  _ was even necessary,” Kurenai admits, as Naruto returns to his seat, “Your chakra is already so rough and turbulent, I was having difficulty just keeping the jutsu active. Still, well done, Naruto.”

At this Naruto just shrugs, although he is of course happy to receive any praise. He’s never really gotten the whole “genjutsu-disruption” thing, since most of the time they just seem to break when they’re applied to him anyway, and, if not, then the moment he tries to channel chakra they usually lose hold. Perks of being a monster, he supposes.

“Alright, Sasuke, you’re last to go,” Kurenai says to Sasuke as he gets up to take his turn, “Ready?”

“Ready,” he confirms, and Kurenai begins to perform the genjutsu. Sasuke fidgets as she’s going through the hand seals, and no sooner than Kurenai has said the genjutsu’s name than Sasuke responds with a hurried  _ “kai!”  _ and sits back down.

“My, my,” Kurenai says ironically, “Going for the record there, Sasuke-kun?”

“Gotta defend my reputation, Kurenai-sensei,” Sasuke says as nonchalantly as possible. Naruto suspects something is up, but he keeps silent. Sasuke usually has a reason for these things that Naruto can’t predict.

“Well, you are all certainly adept at defeating the most basic possible genjutsu,” Kurenai confirms, “But I didn’t honestly expect any of you to struggle with that. I’m  _ more  _ interested in how you handle the kind of genjutsu that’s actually used in the field, so that’s what we’re going to test next. 

This genjutsu is called “Intoxication no Jutsu,” and like the name suggests it makes one feel as if one is under the effects of alcohol poisoning. Impaired balance, a slight blurring of vision, light-headedness, nausea, and difficulty articulating words, among other things. It’s noticeable, and uncomfortable, but if used covertly against, say, an opponent who is already imbibing, it can be quite devastating.

In addition to the effects I listed above, it also makes it harder to control one’s chakra properly. Keep that in mind, all of you, if you’re considering sneaking a drink before you’re legally allowed. It could endanger your life if you’re not careful. With that in mind, Sakura, if you’d be so kind as to start us off?”

Sakura gets back up, now as pale as the rest of Team 7. All of her confidence from earlier has been erased.

“Great,” Kurenai says, “Now, I’ll remind you that if this jutsu becomes too much for you to bear, you can tell me to stop, or cover your eyes, and I’ll stop the jutsu immediately. I want to test you kids, but I’m not trying to hurt you here, so please, don’t push yourself beyond your limits. Understood?”

Sakura nods nervously.

“Alright,” Kurenai says, taking a deep breath, “In that case, are you ready?”

“Yes,” Sakura repeats once more. Kurenai nods, and then goes quickly, almost faster than Sakura can track, through about ten hand seals before saying loudly and firmly, “Intoxication no Jutsu!”

At first Sakura doesn’t notice a change. She feels her stomach roll ever so slightly, but this doesn’t feel entirely unnatural. She turns to look at Naruto and Sasuke, and it is this movement that suddenly brings into relief the effects of the genjutsu. Her head seems to turn slower than her vision does, making her feel as if she’s still spinning even after her vision has stopped moving, only her vision is also blurry, so she can’t even precisely focus on the boys.

She puts her arms out to stabilize herself, and her arms feel weirdly light and disconnected, so she puts her hands in front of her to look at them, but the objects suddenly coming into focus disorient her-

“Are you alright, Sakura-chan?” she distantly hears Kurenai call, and for some reason it’s  _ funny _ , and Sakura starts giggling, swings around theatrically to give Kurenai a big thumbs up-

“Can you dispel the jutsu?” Kurenai asks patiently, and Sakura feels so  _ dumb  _ all of a sudden, of  _ course,  _ the  _ jutsu _ , how could she forget? She puts her hands together, and reaches for her chakra, which is fuzzy, and hard to find, but she finds it nonetheless, and then she says-

Stops, giggles. It’s a funny word. 

“Sakura?”

_ Right  _ the  _ jutsu. _ Sakura refocuses her efforts, then, clumsily channeling her chakra, says in a voice that’s only slightly slurred,  _ “kai!” _

Immediately the effect is dispelled, and this makes it happen in reverse, as the difference in perceptions are contrasted, which is just as disorienting, and consequently Sakura falls backward onto the sectional. 

“Whoa,” she says, stunned, still reeling from the sudden change in awareness, like when you’ve been driving a long time and suddenly realize you had not been paying attention for the past however many minutes, or when you stare off in class and only realize you’d been staring when the teacher calls your name-

“I must say, Sakura, you handled that better than I expected,” Kurenai calls, nodding in approval, “If you were a chunin I might say that your initial ‘attack’ was a little weak, but you more than made up for it with a precisely delivered counterblow. I even felt my own control of the jutsu waiver slightly, which isn’t always desirable but is certainly a promising sign. All in all, excellently done.”

Sakura’s eyes widen. She must still be feeling the ects of the jutsu.

“That,” she begins cautiously, “That was OK?”

“More than OK,” Kurenai says, smiling, “Exceptional.”

Sakura blushes furiously, and shoves Naruto gently to get him to stand up and draw the attention away from her.

“Alright, Naruto, I suppose that means you’re up,” Kurenai concludes, “Now that I know your chakra is so volatile, I won’t hold back on hitting you with this genjutsu, so again, if it’s too much let me know.”

“I doubt it’ll even phase me,  _ Kurgranny _ ,” Naruto says casually, a small grin betraying his flippance.

“Oh, for  _ that  _ I am gonna knock you on your ass with this one, brat,” Kurenai growls in reply, “Ready?”

Naruto nods, and so Kurenai goes through the same rapid series of hand seals as before, culminating in the words, “Intoxication no Jutsu!”

There is no obvious effect, but that is to be expected with genjutsu. As the others watch, Naruto blinks. Looks around. Looks down at his hands. Looks back at Kurenai, puzzled, and puts his hands together. It seems as if he’s about to say the magic word, but then a devilish grin appears over his face, and he pauses. He takes a deep breath, and then shouts at the top of his lungs,  _ “kai!” _

The sudden outpouring of chakra is immense, as if a tornado has been unleashed in the room, and indeed the rest of Team 7 and Asuma are buffeted by spontaneous, heavy winds seeming to originate from around Naruto. Kurenai’s hands, held in position for a single hand seal, fly apart and she takes a step back, appearing for a moment to be genuinely surprised. 

“God  _ damn _ , Naruto,” Asuma says, leaning forward from his seat over to the side of Kurenai, “That’s a lot of chakra for a single genjutsu, isn’t it?”

“How would I know?” Naruto says innocently, “I’m only a little baby genin, believe it!”

“That’s,” Kurenai says, somewhat shaken, “That’s certainly more than you need, Naruto, although I must say, it seems that you are really, naturally predisposed to resist genjutsu. That combined with your, let’s say,  _ unusually large  _ chakra reserves is a very fortunate combo for I&I indeed. I’m almost a little embarrassed. Did you at least feel the jutsu take hold?”

“Maybe?” Naruto says, scratching the back of his head, “It’s hard to tell. Normally alcohol and stuff don’t really- well anyway, I didn’t notice much. Maybe things were a little blurry, I guess?”

“Ninja Jesus Christ,” Kurenai mutters, “Well, good for you, Naruto-kun. I think it’s pretty obvious to me now what role you’ll be playing in our toy I&I squad. Now that just leaves you, Sasuke-kun, if you would.”

_ Shit. _

Sasuke stands back up to receive the genjutsu. His eyes are closed, and he’s doing his best to control his breathing, but he can’t shake the tension that is engulfing him. Kurenai can sense it as well. 

“Sasuke, is there something wrong?” Kurenai asks gently, “Are you concerned you might not be able to handle the jutsu?”

Sasuke is more than concerned. Sasuke is convinced. Sasuke is dead-certain. Sasuke’s stomach is swimming at the thought of being put under a genjutsu again, after that night, and he knows that it makes him weak, that it’s indisputable proof of his weakness, but he’s terrified anyway, which is unforgivable-

“Hey, Sasuke, come on!” Naruto says, putting his hand on Sasuke’s to reassure him, “You’ve got this, bro! You’re the rookie of the year, remember?”

Sasuke remembers. He’s aware that he is the best, and if anyone thinks for a second that he isn’t then they will realize exactly how weak and exploitable he is, how fake his facade of power is, how vulnerable everyone is around him. He can’t protect anyone, least of all Naruto, and everyone will realize that, and then he’ll know for sure that he’s provably, indisputably weak-

“Yeah, no problem,” Sasuke says, huffing a bit, “Just a bit of um, jitters. From my Sharingan, it just, um, it gets weird around genjutsu. I’m working on it.”

This is one of those lies that Naruto knows predate Sasuke making a stupid mistake, bt he keeps his mouth shut. If he said anything, it might embarrass Sasuke.

“Your Sharingan, huh?” Kurenai says, skeptically, “I see...Well, I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it Mr. Uchiha. Does that mean you’d prefer not to try to fight the genjutsu?”

“No, sensei, I’m ready,” Sasuke affirms, untruthfully, “Hit me.”

“Alright. Here goes,” Kurenai says, going through the hand seals of the jutsu for the third time, then shouting “Intoxication no Jutsu!”

Immediately, Sasuke is aware something is wrong. The nausea sprouting in his gut reminds him exactly of the wretched smell of blood everywhere, permeating the earth and air that night. Reminds him of his own sick, from being tortured for hours. Now, as before, his Sharingan is screaming in his head that what he’s seeing is being altered, what he’s feeling is being altered, this is wrong, incongruent, a lie, impossible-

_ Your vision seems wrong, something’s wrong, you’re in danger, this was a trap, this was a test, they hate you, they want you to fail, you’re too weak, they’re going to attack while your guard is down, you can’t defend yourself like this, you need it, you need me, you need me, yo-  _

His Sharingan whirls to life, and everything immediately becomes worse. The effects on his body are the same, stronger now, intensifying every second, but now what is suddenly apparent is  _ exactly  _ what’s wrong. 

_ Kurenai-sensei appears blurry, this is a deception. _

_ Asuma-san appears blurry, this is a deception. _

_ Stomach is hurting, suggesting poison, but prior probability of poisoning is insufficient, this most likely a deception. _

_ Balance impaired. _

_ Arm moving as a test.  _

_ Expected movement incongruent with observed movement. _

_ Proprioception miscalibrated-  _

The intense awareness of the precise size and shape of the wrong nausea, the visual distortions, the impaired balance, all of it is spelled out for him in startling, abstract detail by his Sharingan. The sensation is most similar to a doubling of every awful thing he was feeling, like being punched in the gut from the front and the back at once-.

As if that’s not enough, his Sharingan’s helpful advice is now impossibly loud, impossible to ignore, screaming at him to attack Kurenai, who is  **“Kind,”** just like Itachi was, which makes no sense, but it has to make sense because he  _ sees _ it, and it’s turning his stomach, everything is getting harder to manage, his thoughts are so  _ loud- _

He can’t keep his balance, he falls, and sees Asuma,  **“Patient,”** immediately moving to catch him, and Sasuke sees every muscle of his teammates moving in response, sluggish compared to the jounin who is already coming towards him so quickly, and Sasuke can’t do anything but lash out, sweep his arms in front of him desperately to dissuade the attack, the predator sensing his awful weakness-

It works, barely, and Asuma stops himself before grabbing Sasuke, confused, and concerned, and undoubtedly disappointed, probably having realized that Sasuke is irredeemably weak, a fact that is punctuated by Sasuke’s shoulder and arm making sudden contact with the ground. Pain runs through his body like an electric current, and this brings his awareness to the fact that there is  _ someone else’s chakra in him _ -

That, in the end, is far too much, and he screams, because he has no control, because he’s weak, because he remembers this exact situation far too well, and somehow, mercifully, the screaming causes the foreign chakra to leave, and the pain begins to subside, along with the  _ wrong  _ and altered feelings. His Sharingan tracks all of this for him in detail, and it finally is quiet enough that he can deactivate it, push its anxious shouting to the back of his mind-

And then there’s silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delayed chapter again. I'm really enjoying writing this series, and I have the next chapter and the rest of this arc fairly planned out, but I've suddenly gotten very busy, with many new responsibilities, and those are necessarily taking precedence to this fic. My apologies!   
> Next chapter Sasuke faces the judgment of his team having watched him fail spectacularly badly. They probably all hate him forever now, so stay tuned!


	17. The Crown, The Sword, The Shield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kurenai's test reveals Team 7's abilities, Sakura and Naruto explore their new roles while Sasuke tries to deal with embarrassment and shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: descriptions of self-harm, disassociation, blood, addiction

Sasuke looks up from the ground. Naruto is at his side immediately, saying something, but Sasuke is still reeling from the adrenaline of reliving the worst night of his life, can’t hear Naruto at all. Asuma has gone over to Kurenai, who is rubbing her eyes, trying to push away her jounin counterpart. Sakura is still seated on the couch, looking between both scenes indecisively, her injured teammate on one hand and her injured sensei on the other.

_Injured sensei?_

Sasuke gets up from the ground, which sends a jolt of pain through his arm, although the adrenaline still coursing through him numbs that easily. Naruto is still speaking, and Sasuke thinks he can make out some “bros,” which doesn’t make sense for Naruto to be saying but that’s not what Sasuke is focused on. He tries to pinpoint what Asuma is saying to Kurenai, who is somehow injured, which is apparent even through hushed whispers.

“What the hell was that, Ren?” Asuma mutters, “What did he do to you?”

“It’s fine, nothing, I’m fine,” Kurenai says blearily, still rubbing her eyes, “Just that damn Sharingan, I should have realized that the reflective capacity would be way higher, I just didn’t expect-”

Kurenai sighs, puts her hands down, and squints at Sasuke, who she has just realized is watching them. 

“Well, Sasuke-kun, that-”

“Kurenai-sensei I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” Sasuke says immediately, “I had no idea that would happen, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry, and I know that’s a huge crime, and I’ll pack my bags tonight, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Ninja Christ, Sasuke, it’s _OK,_ ” Kurenai says, wearily, rubbing one of her eyes again, “I’m fine, and you’re fine, and no one has to pack their bags. The whole point of this-”

“But I- I panicked,” Sasuke interjects, “I freaked out, I couldn’t handle it, my Sharingan just- and- and- and I _hurt you_ I wasn’t even trying to, but I really screwed up-”

“ _Sasuke,”_ Kurenai says firmly, cutting him off, “As your jounin-sensei I am _assuring you_ that it. Is. _Fine._ The point of this test was to see how you all handle enemy genjutsu so that I can better decide what roles you will each play in this team, and your reaction has helped me do that. That’s it. That’s all you need to conclude.”

“But I,” Sasuke whimpers, “I can’t _do_ it. I can’t handle the genjutsu, how am I going to do I&I if I can’t handle genjutsu? Isn’t that the main thing?”

“It’s not at all the main thing. It’s _one_ thing, and, luckily for you, your two teammates are exceedingly good at blocking genjutsu. That’s a strength they have that you lack _for now_ , but don’t forget that _you_ have skills that _they_ lack too. None of you are full-fledged ninja, and that’s totally _fine_ . You’ve been genin for all of three days, you’re not _supposed_ to excel in every area yet.”

“But-”

“No more buts, Sasuke,” Kurenai says with an air of finality, “Now sit back down with your teammates, I am going to assign you your roles.”

Sasuke looks around, tries to gauge the room. Asuma’s arms are crossed, but he doesn’t look disappointed, as Sasuke thought he would, more like calculating, the way he often looked when overseeing Naruto and Sasuke sparring. Naruto, for his part, seems totally confused, but unsure of how to help. Sakura, if anything, seems weirdly in awe of Sasuke, perhaps for somehow injuring Kurenai?

Sasuke wants to run. He let them all know that he’s weak. Naruto knew already, of course, but not Asuma, not Kurenai, not Sakura. It’s fine if Naruto knows. Excruciating, yes, but fine. The problem is everyone else realizing it. Realizing that Saskue isn’t the shield they think he is, that he is paper thin, that if they want to go through him to get to Naruto _they can._

That’s unacceptable. Sasuke feels as if a trap has sprung around him, but now there’s nothing he can do. He feels trapped in his body, in his mind, in this situation. Freaking out is not an option, _can never be an option_ , so instead he shuts down. He leaves while his body stays, disappears into his mind, crushed.

“I’m sorry for doubting you, Kurenai-sensei,” the person sitting where Sasuke sits intones, looking down, “I’m ready to learn.”

“Uh, yeah! Me too, believe it!” Naruto adds in, trying to match Sasuke’s direction.

“And- and me!” Sakura chimes in, trying to match Sasuke’s everything.

“Good,” Kurenai says, and if she’d been assaulted by a reflected genjutsu from an out of control Sharingan only minutes ago, she doesn’t show it. 

“In that case, allow me to explain the core of I&I, the strategic formation you will be learning that allows us to operate safely, effectively, and most of all, covertly.”

“Oh! Like the Ino-Shika-Cho formation?” Sakura offers brightly.

“Well, I suppose so,” Kurenai concedes, “Although that’s more of a tool of clan propaganda…”

Asuma looks at her sternly, although there’s a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Nevermind. Right. Now. To the extent that you will have different, interdependent roles to play, it is similar,” Kurenai continues, “But the roles of The Crown, The Sword, and The Shield extend beyond the battlefield, and in fact exist mostly independent of it.”

“Well then what’s the point, if it’s not for fighting?” Naruto asks bluntly.

“Ah,” Kurenai says, with a little, knowing smile, “Funny you should ask, Naruto. _You’re_ the point.”

“Wh-” Naruto says, confused, “What?”

“Yeah, what?” Sakura adds, “That makes no sense. What’s the point?”

THE CROWN

“The Crown,” Kurenai begins, grinning at her own lame joke, “Is the point. The essence of any I&I mission, the most fundamental unit, the ‘Ninja king on the Ninja chessboard*’ is the crown. We always _want_ a sword and shield at our side, but we _need_ The Crown if we’re going to do anything. The Crown’s job is to lead, but more than that, to _do_.

They have to be confident, competent, charming, because in any negotiation they will be the one doing the talking, even if everything they’re saying is scripted ahead of time. They are the one who walks boldly into an enemy hideout and walks out, intel in hand, without drawing so much as a drop of blood from their enemies.

I&I is a lot of legwork, listening for rumours, planning routes, casing targets, and genuinely doing as much preparation as humanly possible, but at the end of the day, some one has to go and _do the thing_ , and Naruto, as The Crown, that job will fall to you.”

Naruto stares blankly. He can’t believe it. Sasuke would make fun of him for it all the time, but Naruto was, all his life, steadfast in his belief that the stupid, dumb-looking hat that all Hokage’s wore was not just a hat. It was and is a crown, and now it’s Naruto’s to wear.

It sounds, to Naruto, like more work and responsibility than he’s ever had, and he is right. For the next week Kurenai dedicates a full fifty-percent of their training time just to training with Naruto one-on-one in order to prepare him for his role as The Crown. At first he’s upset to be removed from Sasuke and Sakura’s company so frequently, and to be shunted off with _Kurgranny,_ but, he soon realizes, the extra attention actually feels a _wesome._

And it’s not just attention from Kurenai-sensei, although that is nice. The things she has him practice, like his Convincing Female Disguise jutsu, and “acting,” and all kinds of fake personas, are _cool_ and all, but more than that they require him to _talk to actual people_. As it happens, the place they’re stationed, Shukuba Town, is going into full-on tourist season, and so everyone is putting on a friendly and welcoming facade to all the random strangers entering their town.

Random strangers like, for example, _Naruto in disguise_.

It’s _incredible._ Like pulling back the curtain on what normal people experience everyday probably, just chatting, and being treated like a person, and just being nice to each other and appreciative! Kurenai has him practice different “personas” every day, which just makes things more fun, and more secret, and fun, and thrilling, and honestly it’s like a dream come true.

Sure, there are close calls, times when Naruto says something obviously wrong or incongruent, and Kurenai has to come bail him out, but as they continue training those mistakes happen less and less. That’s good, because, as Kurenai’s stressed multiple times before, I&I operatives, like Naruto, are _undercover_ , they’re not supposed to let people know they’re ninja, much less that they’re ninja _on a mission._ Keeping hidden is of utmost importance.

“Kind of like,” Naruto inquires one day, while they’re in disguise in a cafe, “Keeping a horrible demon-monster hidden in your stomach for years? Like that kind of thing?”

Kurenai does not comment on this, but she does at the exact same time coincidentally accidentally choke on her coffee, and say something like “That’s crazy, but sure,” between coughs and sputters. That’s enough for Naruto. He’s been hiding the horrible thing inside him for _years_ . Compared to that, hiding that he’s actually Naruto, which isn’t even a _bad_ thing he’s pretty sure, well, that’s a walk in the park. 

Still, he begins to get restless walking in the same parks everyday, fooling the same eager shopkeepers with minor variations on the same cute-tourist-girl-from-the-capital disguise. Sakura and Sasuke seem to be feeling it too, and even Asuma and Kurenai are getting impatient with waiting for Jiraiya to show up and drop the intel about Tsunade.

The plan they come up with is reckless, poorly thought out, and _absolutely not approved_ by Kurenai-sensei or Asuma-san. Despite this, it goes off without a hitch, and six weeks after learning that he’s the Crown, and six _hours_ after posing as a sexy, lost genin for a certain perverted frog statue, Naruto is seated in the most expensive bar in Shukuba town. 

Sitting across from him is one of The Sannin, none other than Jiraiya, the Toad Sage himself. Naruto reaches for his drink, which is Sakura’s cue to supply him more intel. The Crown, and at his side, his most trusted weapon.  
  


THE SWORD

“Wait, isn’t that like, _crazy dangerous_ ,” Sakura interjects, as Kurenai finishes explaining to them all the idea of The Crown, “You’re supposed to go in and pretend to be a civilian and you _can’t even use jutsu?_ You’re just supposed to be charming and cool and convince people that you-”

“Sakura, calm down,” Kurenai chuckles, “The Crown isn’t going in alone, and by the time he engages with the enemy he will have everything he needs to get the intel he’s after.”

“But _how?_ ” Sakura presses, “He’d have to research so much, and what if there’s genjutsu being used, he wouldn’t even be able to _do_ anything, and there’s so much you have to be thinking about all while acting it just seems impossible-”

“It might be impossible for one person to succeed alone,” Kurenai admits, “But The Crown is not alone. They have The Sword. The Sword is waiting in the wings, a hidden blade for when The Crown needs to strike. The Sword is the plan of attack, the eventuality, the rub. Gossip, history, secrets, whatever is required The Sword has amassed and holds ready when needed. 

The Crown’s job is to be persuasive, but the Sword’s job is to be _persuasion itself_. The Crown is a convincing disguise, but The Sword is doing the convincing. If that requires a little light genjutsu directed an enemy’s way, well that’s but one of many tools that The Sword brings to bear. 

The job of The Sword is monumental. It’s cerebral, it’s focused, and it’s a ton of work. I think that that makes you perfect for the role, Sakura.”

For once, Sakura does feel perfect for the role. She’s felt wrong, out-of-place, awkward her whole life, and although the flavour of that experience changed from awkward freak to Ino’s pet project, it never lost its sting until now. 

Initially, Kurenai has Sakura start practicing basic genjutsu, but she flies through the curriculum in days. Genjutsu just makes sense. It’s more or less chakra control with extra variables added in, just systematic stuff that you have to account for, distance, medium of exchange, reflectivity, it’s all really simple textbook stuff. Literally. Kurenai gives Sakura several textbooks on the subject, once it’s clear that Sakura has mastered the basics, and Sakura devours the material. 

Of course it’s not nearly enough reading material, and it’s also pretty dense and academic, but that’s OK because Sakura also has all her books on the Fire Capital, and Fire Nation diplomacy to fill in the gaps in time between her training with Kurenai on genjutsu, and her training with Asuma and Sasuke on close-quarters taijutsu and general combat. 

The taijutsu does _not_ come naturally to her, but that lack of talent is more than made up for by her excellence in genjutsu. It feels so good to be in control of her chakra, to have this power and to be aware of it. She even adopts a bit of a friendly rivalry with Sasuke, which is completely one-sided in her favour when it comes to trivia and chakra control, and completely one-sided in his favour for pretty much everything else. She doesn’t mind.

In fact, she begins to see Sasuke in a whole new light. As part of his training, Sasuke is working on resisting the effects of genjutsu, and as part of hers, Sakura is working on maintaining them. It seems natural to both of them that they should thus compete against each other, like resistance training, so that they can both improve. It works, Sakura has to try harder and harder to maintain her genjutsu, and is constantly forced to try harder, more chakra-intensive techniques. Little by little she improves, and she feels proud.

Sasuke, on the other hand, is on a whole other level. Initially he’s unable to do anything against her genjutsu, even with his ultra-cool Sharingan activated, but eventually, thanks to Asuma’s training, Sasuke tells her, Sasuke is able to keep his cool while having the Sharingan activated. At this point, Sasuke’s rate of growth increases explosively.

Sakura still wins every time, but she feels the pressure from Sasuke to improve, and her admiration only grows. The way he struggles to improve, pushing against his body, against pain, discomfort, nausea, everything she throws at him. It’s amazing. It’s heroic. It’s only in those moments, the private time they spend training together, outside of their jounin-sensei’s watch, that Sakura glimpses Sasuke’s weakness. How hard he works to appear above it all. 

_Yes,_ Sakura thinks, _This is what I want to be._

“What do _I_ want to be?” Naruto says in a voice disturbingly similar to Ino’s, “Oh, Jiraiya-sama, I don’t know if I should say.” The boy-in-disguise bats his shockingly long eyelashes, taking a sip from the beverage, water disguised to look like a Ninja Martini, in front of him. From across the bar, Sakura, herself disguised as an old man reading a book, notices the cue and looks quickly through her notes. She can hear everything that Naruto and the Senior Perv are discussing thanks to Naruto’s hidden microphone, but his physical cues to her are nonetheless important to help her notice when to supply info.

You know, textbook Sword stuff.

“You were a genin, and worked in the hospital in Konoha,” Sakura mutters into her own mic, “You left Konoha in search of Lady Tsunade, under whom you hope to apprentice.”

“Go on, Nise-chan,” Jiraiya purs, already three drinks deep, “I won’t judge. I’m a man of wide and varied tastes!”

“Gross,” Sasuke mutters from his seat at the table just across from Naruto’s, disguised as a portly man enjoying a wide platter of food.

“Oh, Jiraiya-sama, you’re so naughty,” Naruto giggles playfully, and seriously the resemblance to Ino is going to jeopardize this mission, Sakura is sure of it.

“Well, honestly, I really just want to help people,” Naruto says, which Sakura supplements by performing a low-level genjutsu, an illusion that simply makes Naruto’s cheeks appear to be blushing.

“I want to be a great doctor, like, um, like...”

“Oh ho ho,” Jiraiya grins, leaning forward in his seat, “Perhaps like the revered Princess Tsunade, my beautiful counterpart among the illustrious Sannin? Don’t tell me you think she’s cooler than me!”

“Oh, my, no!” Naruto says, bashfully, “No, Jiraiya-sama, you’re the coolest and sexiest guy I’ve ever met!” 

“Naruto, don’t call people ‘Sexy Guys,’ that’s inauthentic and it won’t work-”

“Ehehehehe,” Jiraiya giggles at the praise, “I’m just teasing you, sugar. In fact, Tsunade and I are good friends. I chat with her all the time about uh, helping people and stuff. Whatever you said.”

“Oh, you’ve seen her recently?” Naruto pipes up, “Do you know where she is? Where she might be?”

Jiraiya blinks a bit.

“Shit, Naruto, that was too forward,” Sakura whispers urgently, “Go for the kill, Naruto, you’re out of time!”

Naruto places a gloved hand onto Jiraiya’s fingers, transferring the chakra-laced solution on it directly onto Jiraiya’s skin, propagating yet-another genjutsu, one that increases suggestibility.

“It’s just that, it’s my dream to meet her,” Naruto says, and Sakura ups the intensity of the illusion of his blushing, “I would do...anything to meet her.”

Jiraiya’s eyebrows shoot way up, as across the restaurant a portly man chokes on one of the many meals laid out in front of him. Jiraiya’s other hand goes over Naruto’s and squeezes (gross). Naruto suddenly feels very defenseless, and looks over to the man beside them, who, through a choking fit, is watching them intently. Their eyes meet, and that’s all it takes for Sasuke to act.

THE SHIELD

Sasuke sits patiently through Kurenai’s explanation of The Crown’s role, intended for Naruto. He barely fidgets as she goes on to describe The Sword, and what Sakura will have to do to perform that role well. Then, Sasuke is dimly aware that Kurenai is addressing him, but whatever she is saying it fails to consciously register. He nods at the appropriate times, says something that somehow affirms his understanding, but it’s all autopilot. 

He disappears. For hours, he is gone, underwater, and his life occurs without him in it. He comes to later, in bed, in a darkened room, the only sounds are Naruto’s breathing and the wind rustling against the window. He blinks. He wasn’t asleep. He vaguely remembers a whole day playing out in front of him, Kurenai teaching them about...something. Naruto is involved. Naruto is The Crown. Sasuke is…

Weak. Thoughts crash into him like waves, a paralyzing, crushing force pushing him under, pushing him _out_ , not asleep, but _gone_. He feels himself disappearing again, feels his ego shutting down in some kind of deluded self-preservation, to avoid the anxiety, the fear, the shame. He forces his eyes open, forces himself to think, and be, and not disappear because how can he keep Naruto safe if he’s gone? His eyes rove across the room, landing on the door to it. Moonlight is the only source of illumination in the room, and it falls squarely on the handle of the door. As escapes go, it will have to do.

Silently, Sasuke makes his way out of bed. He does _not_ look over to Naruto, whose delicate sleep he cannot afford to disrupt. He makes his way to the door of the hotel room, and opens it smoothly. He exits, and closes the door once he’s outside the room, his hand shaking the tiniest amount as it grips the door handle, rattling it ever so slightly. 

_Fucking hell._

Naruto will follow him if he lets him. Naruto will wonder what’s wrong, and Sasuke will have to tell him, and it won’t surprise him at all, but it will confirm that Sasuke is unfit to love, and just a pointless interference in Naruto’s life, just an added danger for a boy who needs real protection. Naruto will know, and in the face of Sasuke’s despicable weakness, Naruto will leave.

Unacceptable. Sasuke walks primly down the hallway. There’s a stairway at the end, and the dull, illuminated sign that portends it feels like a literal beacon of hope. It’s comforting, in a way that only tiny, meaningless things can feel when one is under intense pain. The rhythmic dripping of a faucet, the slow change of a digital clock display, something small and discrete that can exist outside of the world. Sasuke does his best not to sprint towards it. 

He travels the expanse of hallway and slips out into the stairwell, hoping for relief but the feeling is immediately wrong. The stairwell is, if anything, worse than the darkened room from before. It’s sterile, half-bright, vibrating with a dull electronic fakeness. In this liminal space where every step and breath echoes aggressively, falling into himself feels dangerously easy. That’s not what he wants. He’s supposed to fall apart, to let every anxiety out, to let that rank darkness spill out into the real world, and evaporate. Here, in the stairwell, it would linger repugnantly, hang around and taunt him,sink into his pores and reinfect him. The breakdown must be further suppressed. 

Sasuke makes his way up the stairs, all the way to the top, to a door leading to the roof of the hotel. It’s unlocked, blessedly, and as Sasuke enters the outside world bracing, cold air rushes over him, and a sense of almost vertigo follows. He’s not very high up, the hotel only has a few floors, but it’s cold, and dark, and unexpected. It takes him out of his rumination like a shock to the system, but he’s alone, so he can actually try to manage it.

Slowly, Sasuke breathes in, and out, very deliberately, feeling his body temperature drop in response to the injection of fresh, nighttime air. He breathes in, then breathes out again, and the warmth of his own breath makes a cloud in front of him. He focuses on that cloud, and his breathing, and imagines that every cloud is a different facet of his weakness disappearing from him like smoke. He feels the boundary of his skin and the air, how intensely real everything is. He feels outside of his head, and free, and so he revels in it. The bracing cold on his skin, the gentle weight of his clothes draped on his body, the bitter yet striking scent of cigarette smoke in the air-

The cloud of Sasuke’s breath dissipates into the night, and through it, on the opposite edge of the roof, Asuma materializes, sat on the ledge, gently smoking a cigarette. A cloud of smoke escapes from the jounin’s lips, of a much greater volume than one made of breath alone, curling and undulating as the hot smoke battles the cold air. The air wins, of course, but only briefly, as another cloud emerges to hold the torch. 

Asuma is looking out over the city, and Sasuke is looking at him. He can’t look away. The clouds of smoke caught in the faint moonlight, and the occasional glimpse of a burning ember, are all that serve to illuminate the man in front of him. It’s a light, a silhouette that feels completely foreign to him, that feels incongruent with the man Sasuke imagines Asuma to be. He shouldn’t have quietness. He shouldn’t bear moonlight. 

_He shouldn’t be so defenceless._

**“Patient”** looms above Asuma’s head, unavoidable in Sasuke’s vision, impossible to ignore. Equally obvious is the quietness, the stark silence of the night. Perhaps Sasuke has exhausted it, or perhaps he has contained it, but however it happens, Sasuke’s Sharingan is remarkably silent. Is it embarrassed? Surprised? What is the source of this speechlessness?

_There is no threat. A shuriken thrown from this distance would result in a successful hit at 99.9975% probability. You are in control._

_I am in control._

Sasuke considers this. He palms a shuriken, silently, in a smooth, practiced motion. His heartbeat begins to increase, but he breathes in, and there’s a rush of cold air, almost piercing now, after so long outside. His heartbeat slows, controlled. He feels an intense exhilaration without any bodily sensation accompanying it, which is itself exhilarating. He feels powerful. Asuma remains where he is, maybe halfway through his cigarette. 

Sasuke devises a game. How close can he get before Asuma realizes he’s there? He takes a step.

_Probability of a successful hit increased to 99.999%._

Asuma doesn’t seem to notice. The wind around them isn’t howling, but it is rustling pleasantly, nonchalantly, and it masks Sasuke’s footfalls. He takes another step. And another.

_Probability of a successful hit has reached its limit. Fatality at this range-_

Asuma sighs, and extinguishes his cigarette on the rooftop beside him, turning as he does so. His field of vision shifts, and Sasuke observes in detail the changes in Asuma’s body as Sasuke’s form enters the jounin’s periphery. His muscles tense, slowly, shifting his head, the saccade of his eyes dancing around Sasuke’s form, unfocused but aware of danger. It occurs almost in slow-motion. Sasuke is identified as a threat, no doubt. Asuma’s pupils dilate, then, and other muscles appear to activate, as adrenaline is released to speed the action, an ingrained response from years as a ninja.

Sasuke speaks before Asuma has a chance to register the surprise.

“Asuma-sensei?”

“Wha-” Asuma says, completing the earlier motion, “Sasuke? What are you-”

Sasuke sees Asuma’s eyes shift from Sasuke’s face to his palm, where a shuriken is held lightly. This is no doubt suspicious, therefore a plausible excuse is required. Sasuke squeezes the shuriken sufficiently to draw blood, constricts his arm muscles slightly to increase the flow. He feels the shuriken in his hand grow warm and wet, as the metal stings his flesh.

“I’m- I’m sorry, Asuma sensei, I was just trying to clear my head-”

Asuma stands up and Sasuke immediately deactivates his Sharingan. The boy takes a step backward, and holds up his hands as if reacting in surprise to Asuma’s sudden movement. Moonlight glints along the shuriken, which is unavoidably bright. A drop of blood is freed and plunges dramatically through the air.

“You’re-” Asuma begins, and Sasuke can imagine the thoughts in process in the jounin’s mind, “Sasuke, that’s not the right way to hold a shuriken, look, you’ve cut your-”

The older man pauses. As expected, his eyes widen in orchestrated recognition.

“No, Sasuke, god damn it,” Asuma sighs, rubbing the back of his head. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a pack of cigarettes, shakes one out. He places it to his mouth and inhales deeply, the end of the cigarette seemingly igniting on its own. He exhales with a huge sigh, coughs for a moment. 

“You’re too fucking young to be doing that.”

“Do- doing what?” Sasuke stammers, before looking to his hand, miming realization, and quickly putting it behind his back.

“I have to report this,” Asuma says wearily, depressed, “That kind of behaviour is serious-”

“They already know,” Sasuke lies quietly, looking away guiltily, as if coming clean, “My therapist knows. It’s not all the time, I, I promise. It’s just when- when I use my Sharingan, and it goes wrong-”

“That’s all the more reason that you should be benched,” Asuma says, his face bearing a pained look only intermittently obscured by smoke, “I know Kurenai-sensei told you that we’re here to support each other, but this is on a different level, Sasuke, you can’t expect-”

“No, please, _please,_ ” Sasuke says suddenly, dropping the shuriken and stepping forward, “I need to stay. I need to protect them. Please don’t send me home.”

“Just because you’re ‘The Shield’ doesn’t mean you have to-”

“No, I _need_ to,” Sasuke interrupts, as he begins to convince himself of the lie, “If something happened to Naruto, I would- I mean- I-”

Asuma narrows his eyes as Sasuke’s voice dies down. Sasuke doesn’t explain it, but he doesn’t need to. 

“You know,” Asuma says, after a while, turning to look over the town below them, “You put yourself in this situation, Sasuke. I can tell. The only reason Naruto’s here is because he came running after _you_.”

“That’s right,” Sasuke says, and every drop of the shame that drowns his words is genuine, “So it’s my...it’s my _duty_ to-”

“Of course it is,” Asuma nods, cutting Sasuke off. There’s silence again, and Sasuke doesn’t interrupt it, aware of the fragility of this truce.

“Alright,” Asuma says after a while, his second cigarette by now almost exhausted, “You shouldn’t be here, but you are, and I have a feeling you’d find your way back to Naruto either way. So we’ll work on this. I’ll work on it with you.”

“R-really?” Sasuke says, stepping forward, to stand beside Asuma, looking up at him.

“Yup,” Asuma exhales, with the last of his smoke, “It’s gonna be a bitch, but we’re going to get you in fighting shape. You’ve got the goddamn Sharingan afterall, the Old Man’d kill me if I let you squander it.”

“So...so you think you can help me?” Sasuke says, in disbelief, and also a little bit in accordance with a fantasy of his that went eerily similar to this, “You’ll help me deal with my Sharingan? But how?”

Asuma looks down at him, an indescribable combination of nostalgia, regret, and determination painting him unrecognizable in the moonlight.

“Patience, kid.”

Patience, it turns out, is a word that means “a lot of training, and a lot of pain.” It’s awful, but never unbearable, because the pain of progress is sweet relief compared to the agony of weakness. As an academy student, Sasuke trained with Naruto nonstop, but never past a breaking point. They were kids. They would train harder once they became genin, until then they could just enjoy their friendship and rivalry. Sasuke is no longer a genin, nor is he a rival. As Asuma reminds him, he does not have the luxury to be. He is the Rookie of the Year. He is the Uchiha clan head. He is The Shield.

The shield does not strike, does not reveal itself. The shield merely waits, ready to do its duty, which is of course to protect The Crown. This means counterintelligence work, it means disrupting genjutsu, it means casing buildings and targets, keeping everyone safe, but most of all it means _extraction_. Getting The Crown out, and keeping them safe. 

Sasuke is damn sure he can do that. As long as Naruto is there, he _needs_ to do that. 

So Sasuke spars with Asuma and Sakura. Asuma is right, weakness is something people worry about to avoid doing the hard work of getting stronger, and thinking of it like that makes things much easier, trivially manageable. Whenever Sasuke is worried about being weak, he can just push himself to be better. It takes all of him, every inch of his being has to be devoted to this cause, but that’s fine. That’s the idea. 

He has no time, it’s endlessly anxiety producing, but he has no choice. The self-flagellation feels good, feels deserved. Every genjutsu Sakura learns he gets her to use on him, not so that he can break it, but so that he can break _under_ it. So that he can increase his pain tolerance, or erase his ability to feel pain entirely. He’s so jealous of her effortless ability to improve, the way she seems to have a talent for concentration, an effortless enjoyment of focus and work. It’s another great motivator, another reminder that he is weak and has to get stronger. 

It drains him, it’s unsustainable, but so is being weak, so is the thought of losing Naruto, and thought of like that it’s clear to Sasuke that he has no choice in the matter. Besides, the one thing that could get through to him, the voice of compassion he most deeply respects, has been utterly shut out. Naruto is so busy training for his dangerous, difficult role as The Crown that he has almost no time for Sasuke, and the time they do have is spent just enjoying being around each other. Naruto has no opportunity to be concerned for Sasuke.

So of course Sasuke unravels. The hard, hard weeks of training while they wait to hear from Jiraiya burn through Sasuke’s resolve, energy, and lifeforce thoroughly. He runs out of willpower. Falters. It’s weakness, but he can’t fight it directly because that’s how he got in this situation in the first place. He needs patience, but he can’t out-patient this because the longer it goes the worse it gets.

So, as discussed, he unravels. Squeezing a shuriken too hard is one release, but it’s obvious, and Asuma is always on the lookout for it. Burning himself is out of the question too. Pretty much any form of self-harm is far too obvious and too unsustainable to work. Sasuke questions how Asuma even does it. How is he always so relaxed, so unanxious?

Thought of like that, it’s obvious.

Stealing his first cigarette feels like rock-bottom, but smoking it feels like revelation. He stops stealing immediately, because Asuma could catch him, starts disguising himself to buy them from the various smoke shops around Shukuba town instead, which is shockingly easy and effective. He is disciplined with his vice. He hides it, and only partakes after he’s been sparring with Asuma. Naruto remarks immediately on the odour, but Sasuke blames the smell on Asuma and Naruto believes him without reservation. 

So, consequently, he lies to Naruto now. He tells himself that it’s for Naruto’s own good, and that it’s only because he is working so _hard_ to protect Naruto, and he’s just doing the rational thing. He’s just trying to protect Naruto. That feels like an incomplete answer, but Sasuke doesn’t exactly have the time or energy to spend in contemplation. He’s simply trying to get stronger because he has to protect Naruto. 

That, is, in fact, the exact thought that goes through Sasuke’s mind as he jumps up from his table across from Naruto’s, and rushes to attack one of the Three Sannin for _daring_ to touch his good-fucking-friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *comment with the correct shogi terms and I’ll give you 500 author points!
> 
> This fic is not dead! Sasuke gets his own awful secret to hide. Sakura and Naruto are actually allowed to pursue the things they're good at and, surprisingly, they're good at them! I have lots planned for this fic, and some genuine freetime now, so prepare for more sneakiness and secrets. They're going to the Capital next chapter, believe it! (Stay tuned)


	18. Together, They Step Into The Abyss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team 7 makes their way to the Fire Capital, after a run in with Jiraiya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: mention of drowning

Unsurprisingly, Jiraiya was unphased by Sasuke’s attempted sneak attack, and the poor boy was knocked unconscious with a simple sleep-jutsu before he could swing so much as a single fist. What  _ was  _ highly concerning for Jiraiya was how this would-be assailant, before succumbing to sleep, managed to say, “Run...Naruto...get out of here,” advice which this “Naruto” promptly took. This situation, while odd, was not  _ entirely  _ out of the ordinary for the Toad Sage. His fans were quite numerous, and although  _ Tale of the Gutsy Ninja  _ was less popular than his acclaimed  _ Icha-Icha  _ series, it still did sometimes produce the odd crazy cosplayer or crackfic. 

Jiraiya watched as the blond referred to as “Naruto” ran out the door. A moment later, an old man across the bar put down his book and ran out the same door as the blond, whereupon Jiraiya felt suddenly slightly less intoxicated. He bean to think more clearly. He began to consider that he had just been subject to the Crown-Sword-Shield formation, an I&I tactic which he himself had developed. Most importantly, however, Jiraiya began to feel very, very queasy.

He held ardently onto the hope that he had just been hitting on a busty young woman cosplaying Naruto, the fictional character, and not Naruto, his  _ thirteen year old godson _ , who could very possibly be a genin in the squad Jiraiya was purposefully avoiding _. _ There was a chance, afterall. He held out hope. 

This hope was quickly extinguished when two Konoha ninja burst into the bar, one of them holding a very blond, very Uzumakian boy by the wrist, and the other scanning the bar with a mixture of intense rage and intense shame playing across her features. Her eyes quickly met Jiraiya’s. There was a moment of recognition.

Then Jiraiya proceeded to vomit the entirety of his stomach’s contents and pass out. Something about the mixture of unintentional underrage flirting and Sakura’s attempt to use genjutsu on an already drunken man. Asuma and Kurenai were left to clean-up the proverbial mess and escort their genin to, considering their disobedience, forever jail, or something similar. So ended the first deployment of Team 7’s Crown-Sword-Shield formation.

Sasuke, who had been briefly unconscious, woke to find himself back in their hotel room in Shukuba town. Asuma and Kurenai were there, both looking  _ extremely pissed  _ with the genin, and Sakura and Naruto were there too, both looking  _ extremely pleased  _ with themselves. Sasuke inquired about the discrepancy, and just like, what in general had happened, and he was lectured and regaled by Kurenai and Naruto.

As it happened, Asuma and Kurenai immediately recognized Jiraiya when they saw him in the bar. They also fairly quickly recognized the Crown-Sword-Shield formation being employed by their awful, disobedient genin, and quickly made the connection that these horrible kids had set up a meeting with Jiraiya. So far so good.

It then emerged that Naruto had been trying to  _ seduce  _ Jiraiya in order to get information on Tsunade’s whereabouts, and, what’s worse, he had more or less succeeded, up until Sasuke’s timely intervention. This atrocity of a plan was also grasped rather quickly by Jiraiya himself, who was so stricken with shame and embarrassment and a general need to reevaluate his life choices after having had  _ awful thoughts _ about his godson that he just about revoked perviness entirely, and seemed on the verge of resigning as a ninja. 

Luckily for all of them, Sakura, thinking quickly, had suggested that if Jiraiya  _ really  _ wanted to make amends, he should go  _ personally  _ inform Lady Tsunade of the news of Asuma’s new position. After all, they wouldn’t have set this whole clandestine meeting up if Jiraiya had just been forthwith with them in the first place, so it made sense that Jiraiya would just go do what they had wanted him to help them do initially. Jiraiya quickly, shamefully, accepted this means of escape, and was gone before he even had a chance to compliment Kurenai and Asuma for training such an effective squad of I&I ninja.

Sasuke blinks. That last part seems incongruous with the tone of the rest of the recap.

This is because that last part is added at the end of the recap by Naruto, who has been trying in vain to spin this whole thing as a win for Team 7. Sakura seems to be on his side: they did, after all, get the information they were looking for, the only casualty was Sasuke, and he wasn’t even  _ really  _ hurt, right? Sasuke agrees with this assessment, which elicits cheers from Naruto and Sakura, and god damn it Naruto’s smile in that moment is worth all of this bullshit training and self-destructive idiocy, at least to Sasuke. 

Asuma and Kurenai, however, are in deep disagreement with this assessment. “Pranking” a ninja of Jiraiya’s caliber is among the most dangerous, foolhardy, naive, dangerous, forbidden, dangerous, and dangerous moves that a genin squad could make, and was also, obviously, entirely unnecessary! Jiraiya is and has been the  _ de facto  _ head of Konoha’s I&I division for  _ years _ now, he and Kurenai go way back, in fact, and it would have been trivial to just  _ talk to him  _ rather than orchestrate this whole elaborate plan. 

As Kurenai makes clear, the Team 7 genin should feel very, very bad about their foolhardy actions. This was  _ not  _ a good plan, it was  _ not  _ an impressive feat of I&I execution, and so many things could have gone wrong. Shame. Shame on you, Team 7 genin.

_ Shame _ .

OK?

The Team 7 feel duly ashamed, and there is a tense silence in the hotel room. Kurenai stares daggers at all of them, and Asuma has a similarly stern expression directed their way. The tension is truly palpable, and Sasuke wonders if Kurenai is maybe using her “Bads Vibes no Jutsu” on all of them, but he stays silent. 

“Man, I didn’t even see which way the Old Pervert ran, he was gone so quick,” Asuma chuckles awkwardly, breaking the silence.

“He would have left by the south exit,” Sasuke responds quietly, “The north exit was through the kitchen, would have been too slow, and the western exit was for staff; if he’d tried it he’d have found it locked. The windows were too small and high for efficient transit, and would have been an obvious exit point anyway.”

The silence returns, briefly, but in a different flavour. 

“Goodness,” Kurenai says, a little taken aback, “Did you just think of all of that, or did you kids actually  _ case  _ that place?”

“Obviously we cased it,” all three of them respond in unison, with Sakura adding, “What, do you think we’re amateurs?”

“And if  _ Sasuke _ hadn’t jumped the gun, we’d have been fine,” Naruto grumbles, “The sleeping jutsu we put on my gloves was going to take effect right after we got Jiraiya out of the bar, and then I’d be able to slip away no problem.”

“Um,  _ you _ hadn’t achieved the mission objective,” Sasuke retorts, “And  _ if you recall,  _ we had established that  _ both  _ doses of jutsu would be necessary-”

“Sasuke, you’re forgetting that I was preparing supplemental jutsu-”

“Yeah, and even if Sakura wasn’t I was  _ obviously  _ going to administer the second dose-”

The three devolve into a half-debrief-half-debate about the merits of their execution, which devolves into a critique of the Old School Crown-Sword-Shield operations guide in a modern context, leaving Asuma and Kurenai in awe. They turn to look at eachother, exchange a brief moment of shared surprise, then turn to look back at the kids, who are seriously just talking about I&I as if it were the most interesting and important thing in the world.

“I...didn’t think this was possible,” Asuma whispers quietly to Kurenai, “They weren’t messing around they-”

“They’re actually taking this seriously,” Kurenai confirms, “They’re awful at it, and made huge mistakes that we would have corrected immediately-”

“Oh,  _ immediately _ , no doubt-”

“But they’re actually taking it seriously, nonetheless.”

“...Huh.”

“Yeah, huh.”

They watch on, enraptured. Eventually the jounin find a place to interject with certain important, clarifying pointers regarding the finer points of I&I, and they find that these three, amazing kids have put more thought and rigour into the success of this mission than they ever expected to see. As they talk, Kurenai is constantly making excuses to hide the tears that well up from being so proud of her little proteges, while Asuma can’t help but grin when his attempts to tease the kids are rebuffed with a list of carefully prepared explanations, and at one point genuine mission documents are produced to help back up their points.

This lively discussion continues throughout the night. Come morning, they have all gotten around to packing their bags, and Kurenai and Asuma have decided on a slightly altered itinerary for their now  _ fully sanctioned  _ trip to the capital. What was meant to be a short and direct voyage from Konoha to the Fire Capital is now a leisurely jaunt through several smaller villages. Several new locales, all of which represent an excellent opportunity to practice for a group of burgeoning I&I genin looking to test their skills, as these ones so clearly are. Team 7 leaves Shukuba Town that afternoon, re-energized and reinvigorated, ready to prove themselves.

Their travels in the coming weeks take on a familiar pattern. They leave town early in the morning, then arrive in the afternoon at a new town, which the genin immediately begin to explore. Kurenai usually sets them up with a specific target to investigate, like a local business or a local rumour to suss out, and then after dinner they are tasked with implementing a plan of attack, some way of leveraging the Crown-Sword-Shield formation to get the info they’re after. It’s great fun, and functionally danger-free in these quaint, countryside villages.

Eventually, after two weeks of travel, Team 7 arrives somewhere absolutely antithetical to quaint, countryside, and danger-free. On foot, they approach not the walls of a military establishment, like Konoha, nor the slightly better kept roads of a small town, but a great, expansive valley, where man-made buildings tower over trees, and the noise of commerce and corruption drowns out any birdsong. 

Finally, lying before them at last, in all its splendor and depravity, is the capital city of the world’s most powerful and influential nation, the center of the world, the Fire Capital. From their position at the top of a hill, the road before them leading into the city proper, the Konoha ninja survey the storm. Kurenai and Asuma called this place home for many years, and they have little to say, remarking to each other on a new building here and there, absently wondering if their favourite food cart is still around. For the genin, however, fresh and with first-eyes, the vista represents an unparalleled experience of awe.

The shield seeks to deflect, and Sasuke is struck at the angle. The elevation. He’d been here twice, seeing the city for the first time on his father’s shoulders, and for the second on Itachi’s. He’s never seen it so low, so alone, no family to hold his hand and guide him, not anymore. Back in those days, he felt invincible, surrounded by his father’s unbreakable will, Itachi’s unrelenting genius. He felt like a flame, illuminating truth wherever he went, blazing and bright, unstoppable. Now he sees a different side of the city. Something dark, and covered, and unknown. He feels like a candle flame, a match, tossed into the maelstrom, drawn into darkness, and how is a candle flame supposed to keep safe the Sun?

The sword seeks to strike, and Sakura can barely contain her excitement. She’s been in a dream since she left Konoha, and the sensation of diving  _ deeper  _ into a dreamland is somehow intoxicating. The world she’s only ever read about, dreamed about, is materializing around her, and for once she is at center stage, she is the hero, she is the avenger. 

There’s a reason the Twelve Guardians were so popular, despite being a rather obscure ceremonial guard division: their lives, their story, took place  _ here _ . A boundless place of prosperity and possibility, an uncontainable collection of diversity, divisiveness, and dreams. You can be anyone here, do anything, if only you are willing to seize that moment, to lunge for it with everything you have and never let go. To that end, Sakura is poised and ready.

The crown seeks to rise above it all, to catalyze the change that others need, to be the centerpiece, the eye of the storm. As for Naruto, he knows not what he sees, as his eyes take in grandness and complexity beyond anything he’s ever encountered. All he knows is that he has been tasked with the biggest role, that he is supposed to grow enough to lift everyone out of this darkness and into some sort of light. The urge to hide the darkness inside him is in powerful tension with the desire to be bigger, be more, be everything to everyone, but surely in a place as endless as this, there is room enough or both? 

Naruto looks to Sasuke, and Sasuke looks to him. His brother has become incredible at hiding his emotions, but Naruto has always been better, sees right through him. Sasuke’s terrified. Naruto grabs his hand, and smiles, because it’s all he can do. For now, for the last time until they leave this accursed place, it’s enough, and Sasuke smiles right back. Together, they step into the abyss.

The evening sun is just about to set, and everywhere lights are beginning to appear like boats in the ocean, stars in the sky. Smells of streetfood and sales waft up from the valley, and every breeze beckons them in. The city calls out in every direction, a million possibilities unfolding around them, every one of them a path worth following, a secret to uncover. Weeks of exploration have left Team 7 with a finely honed sense of curiosity, and they are eager to dive in.

Then, the worst possible thing happens: Asuma and Kurenai tell them that they have to hide in a stupid hotel room until the two jounin can determine that the situation in the city is safe. There is no argument, no clever persuasion. The kids are herded into some hotel or other, which isn’t even in the city proper, but overlooks it, tantalizingly, just out of reach, the most ostentatious form of teasing imaginable. They are further hurried into a weird, moving box (an “elevator” Sasuke explains, for Naruto’s benefit), which brings them to a some intermediate, non-descript floor, and culminates in Team 7 being trapped in a stupid hotel room, the likes of which they weren’t hoping to see for many more weeks.

Suffice to say, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto are rather unimpressed with this abrupt development. 

“Guys, I realize this feels unfair,” Kurenai begins to her three seething genin, “But Asuma and I really have to do a lot of work to make sure that things will be safe for you all in the capital. Don’t despair, though, this is, uh, this is the perfect time for you to, um, work on your disguises!”

“We can all henge just fine,” Sasuke objects, Sakura and Naruto nodding in agreement “We don’t need disguises.”

“Ah, but a henge can be disrupted, and that’s a dead giveaway that you’re a ninja up to no good!” Kurenai rebuts, “Besides, henges require chakra, and the constant investment of chakra is something that other ninja can detect. We don’t want to give off the impression that we’re ninja, it’s too conspicuous.”

“You said it was safe here, that there were practically no active I&I divisions anymore,” Sakura retorts, “Who’s going to see our chakra? Besides, I need to use chakra to do genjutsu, that would look the same to a sensor disguise or not. Are you saying we’re just not going to d  _ any  _ jutsu while we’re here?”

“Yeah, and besides, there’s a bar  _ in this hotel,” _ Naruto adds, “If you think our  _ room  _ i safe then the bar can’t be much worse, and we would be able to like, actually do some I&I and learn about the city!”

“Here here!” Sasuke and Sakura shout in agreement.

“Ah, well,” Kurenai says, delaying.

“Well, the thing is, you all are too  _ vital  _ as assets for us to risk you being found out,” Asuma says, rescuing his jounin counterpart, “If other villages learnt the true identity of our spies they might use that information against us, so we need to take every precaution-”

“Oh, and, of course, we need to contact Ambassador Akimichi, Asuma,” Kurenai adds.

“Well, of course, he is technically in command of this whole jurisdiction, why, we can’t move an inch without his say so-”

“And there’s certain contacts I need to assess, who would be  _ aghast _ if thy found ot I was back and didn’t come see them right away-”

The two jounin make up more stupid shit to try and distract their genin from the fact that they’re locking them in a hotel room mere  _ meters  _ away from the coolest place they’ve ever seen, for the rest of the night, and for as long as it takes to “assure their safety.” There is no justification, this is merely a cruel prank, or an opportunity to have fun without them, or both, or worse, there’s no doubt about it.

For their part, the two jounin, having gained some  _ small  _ respect for these genin and their tactical capacities, are asking these near-children to exercise just the _ smallest _ amount of respect for delayed gratification so that no one  _ literally dies _ if, for example, Orochimaru or Itachi Uchiha are just lounging in the hotel bar a few floors below, unlikely as that it is. They are taking the barest safety precautions, just talking to one or two people before coming back, and these genin will just have to respect that, for their own safety.

“Just...wait, OK?” Kurenai says apologetically, as she closes the door behind her and Asuma, and expects the kids to listen.

Yeah, slim-fucking-chance. 

“So obviously we’re going to go check out that bar,” Naruto says immediately, as soon as Kurenai and Asuma’s footsteps fade away. 

“It would be wrong of us not to,” Sakura agrees, the entirety of a life of submission to authority utterly disrupted by a few weeks of blissful freedom.

“Agreed, but, well,” offers Sasuke, who has become the  _ de facto  _ voice of reason, and is struggling to let reason overpower childlike curiosity, “I feel that, as The Shield, I should mention-”

“You _ always _ say that now!” Naruto complains, and he’s right. In the past couple of weeks, Sasuke has channeled his ever-present and all-consuming anxiety into this role of caution and care, and, while it is tremendously useful in I&I contexts, it has lost its interpersonal charm.

“Well! I don’t know!” Sasuke says, defensively, “We’ve never been here before, we’d be alone, and we don’t even have time to case this place or anything, let alone research targets! Something could go wrong, and we can’t even plan for it because we don’t know what to expect...”

This last part is entirely to play off of Sakura’s insecurities, and it works.

“OK, maybe a little caution is appropriate,” she concedes, “I...I’ll admit I  _ was _ kind of looking forward to doing disguises.”

“Sakura, not you too!” Naruto groans, “I don’t want to spend hours getting dressed up just to sit at a bar and flirt with old dudes! Just let me do a Convincing Female Disguise and let’s go!”

“It doesn’t take hours!” Sakura replies indignantly, “And I’m actually kind of a pro at this thing, if you weren’t aware. It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know...” Naruto grumbles, looking at Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn’t mind a disguise, truth be told. He is actually...kind of famous? He’s literally been in the newspapers multiple times, owing to the awful circumstances of his childhood. It’s not unthinkable that someone would recognize him, and Narto stands out like a sore thumb already...Sasuke instantly formulates a plan.

“We can dye your hair orange, Naruto,” Sasuke submits, and this is obviously all it takes for Naruto to be 100% on board with affecting some quick disguises. 

After around an hour (doing complete disguises for 3 people including yourself isn’t  _ zero  _ work, in Sakura’s defense) the three ninja are more or less unrecognizable. Naruto, as promised, is sporting bright, orange hair, unusual for Konoha but within the realms of normal, human variation. His weird whisker-scars have also been deftly disappeared with some simple concealer and foundation, and his Konoha genin attire has been replaced with Fire Capital appropriate robes that Team 7 picked up in a previous town. 

Sakura’s handiwork has also rather transformed Sasuke. His hair, which is incredibly soft and thick, really the perfect hair, Ino would  _ kill _ her if she knew Sakura got to style it, has been pulled into a long ponytail, and Sasuke has been given a little eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara to emphasize “his feminine side.” As an afterthought, Sakura also gives him a different pair of shoes, such as a servant might wear, thick, wooden sandals that click and clack annoyingly and are impossible to walk in normally. Is this a petty way of feeling superior by purposefully unbalancing her rival? Sakura cannot comment.

For his part, Sasuke is willing to go along with it, for the sake of maximum safety and disguise potential, and Sakura seems oddly enthusiastic about the temporary change to Fem!Sasuke. Naruto is skeptical but doesn’t know enough about this makeup stuff to really argue. Sasuke is also plied with a pair of contact lenses, which will make his eyes go from one shade of brown to another when he uses his Sharingan, rather than from dark-brown to red. This seems reasonable, and distracts a bit from the subtle genderbending Sakura seems intent on producing.

As for Sakura, she very simply dyes her hair black (temporary dye, of course), and puts on some more traditional boy’s clothes. She also asks that the boys call her “Ranmamaru” just as, like, a fun secret identity, and she supposes they might as well try to use he/him pronouns for her, because that would, like, complete the illusion better, or something. Whatever, it’s not important. Naruto seems to approve of this change, and Sasuke seems  _ very deeply skeptical,  _ but files this away as a thought for another day. He trusts himself to remember to interrogate these disguise choices at a later date as long as nothing significant happens tonight. 

With these disguises in place, and after getting set up with their usual microphones and earpieces, the three genin take one last look at their hotel room prison, and bid it good riddance.

Very cautiously, Naruto opens the door to the hotel room, and sticks out his head. Sasuke and “Ranmamaru” follow suit. There’s a person standing outside, and the three of them immediately try to shut the door, but the figure outside grabs the edge of the door and wrenches it open before they have the chance to shut it.

“Well, well, well,” says Kurenai, “It looks like you three waited a whole hour before breaking the only rule we gave to you. Congratulations.”

“Um, Kurenai-sensei, we just wanted to check with you if we were doing the disguises right,” “Ranmamaru” says cautiously, “How...how does this look?”

“Sasuke, you need to do more than just changing your voice.”

“Ranmamaru’s” face lights up. She looks over at the real Sasuke who rolls his very feminine eyes while giving her a thumbs-up. Naruto has double-thumbs up for her.

“Anyway, disguised or not, I’m not letting you guys out,” Kurenai says firmly, crossing her hands.

“Wait, so you just stood out here for  _ an hour _ waiting for us to inevitably try to escape?” Sasuke asks incredulously, “Didn’t you have stuff to do? Isn’t that the whole reason that we were supposed to stay in the hotel room in the first place?”

“Well, I’m actually a shadow-clone, not the  _ real  _ Kurenai, so- wait, Sasuke? Which one of you is Sasuke?” The Kurenai clone looks between the two pre-pubescent children, one who looks almost exactly like Sasuke, but with Sakura’s voice, and one who looks like a pretty, young girl, with Sasuke’s voice. 

“I’m the real one,” Sasuke and “Ranmamaru” say simultaneously. The two turn to look at eachother, green eyes staring down brown eyes which gradually shift to brown eyes of a slightly different shade. A message is communicated wordlessly.

_ Shall I? _

_ And then I’ll follow up? _

_ As for Naruto? _

_ Oh, he knows. _

_ Good. _

The Kurenai clone sighs, unaware of this silent exchange.

“That really doesn’t make things any easier-”

“Kurenai-sensei, how does  _ my _ disguise look?” Naruto pipes up, waving his arms to get the Kurenai-clone’s attention, “Can you tell who _ I _ am? Look! Look at my hair!”

The clone turns to regard the babbling boy.

“OK, Naruto, that’s very nice, but you’re kind of distracting-”

As soon as the Kurenai clone’s eyes shift from Sasuke and Ranmamaru’s position, the boy on the left, with the green eyes, draws a kunai with his left hand, hiding it as long as possible before lunging forward with it aimed squarely at his jounin sensei’s clone’s kidney. The clone, being a jounin’s clone, is able to react to this surprise attack rather fluidly, and takes a single step backward, pivoting her body out of the way- 

-And into the waiting kunai of a boy whose brown eyes mask the famous Sharingan, which made predicting the precise movement and position of an unsuspecting ninja fairly simple. The move is smooth, and practically the exact thing Asuma-sensei had taught Sasuke to do if in close quarters. Sharingan on, kunai out. Puzzlingly, however, Sasuke notices that this clone, which disappears in a puff of smoke, didn’t have any word hovering above it. There should have been a  **“Kind”** but there was nothing. 

_ Information for later. Now, ascertain risk posed by vengeful Kurenai. Trust is not guaranteed, could still be seen as a liability- _

Sasuke deactivates his useful, if annoying, Sharingan. Honestly, it nags him more than Itachi used to, while somehow managing to convey that exact dispassionate, judgmental tone. 

“Nice!” Naruto calls out, before being yanked by Sasuke, who is already running towards the elevator, along with a boy named Ranmamaru, who is just getting over the thrill of disobeying a teacher and now beginning to process that  _ he just disobeyed a teacher _ , and what’s worse, he’d done it by  _ trying to stab that teacher’s likeness! _

“Come on,” Sasuke says briskly, as Naruto falls into step with him and Ranmamaru, “We don’t have much time.”

“What?” Naruto says, confused, “But we just beat the clone! Now we can sneak out-”

“Clones transfer memories upon disappearance,” Ranmamaru mutters,beginning to feel a bit shell shocked, “She knows.”

“All she knows is that we escaped,” Sasuke reassures her, “She doesn’t know where we’re going. So as long as we get  _ there  _ before she gets back  _ here _ we should be fine.”

“Damn, OK,” Naruto says, going along with it because obviously this daring escape has turned into a fun prank already. He pauses, then smiles and speaks again, “I’ll be honest, that was pretty badass, you guys.”

“Yes, apparently two Sasukes are better than one,” Sasuke mutters. This was a misplaced twin fantasy, and not the one he envisioned for himself and Naruto. For a moment though, his anxiety at everything is assuaged by Naruto’s praise. Ranmamaru and him blush simultaneously, as the three of them make their way to the hotel’s staircase, and begin to descend it rapidly, on their way to the hotel bar, and hopefully a night of discovery and intrigue.

_ Elsewhere, at a night market in the Fire Capital _

A black-haired woman stands casually at a clothing stall situated in one of the capital’s various night markets, examining a pair of sunglasses. Beside her, an old man is discreetly examining the fabric of one scarf or another.

“Let me just say,” the old man mutters, as if to himself, “That I am glad to have you back in the capital, Sparrow. I always appreciated your calmness, and your ability to remain so completely discreet-” 

“ _ FUCK those FUCKING KIDS,”  _ the woman whispers to herself, hand involuntarily clenching around the sunglasses she’s holding and breaking them in half. She then says, more audibly, “Of course, sir, discretion is the better half of decency. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have had an unexpected change of plans.” 

She turns to walk away, briskly, but a voice rings out from the stall’s proprietor, who has been eyeing the old man with suspicion before noticing her fleeing his stall.

“Hey, lady, you break it, you buy-”

The woman turns to affix the man with a glare, brilliant red eyes furious, and having no time to entertain clueless civilians, upon which his voice changes mid sentence.

“-another one, completely on the house! Happy Ninja New Year, or, uh, whatever you celebrate! I’m an asshat, and my shitty glasses break far too easily!”

Kurenai nods, then grabs a pair of sunglasses off the rack and turns to run. She has three genin to kindly dissuade from pointlessly jeapordizing their own lives, after which she will of course murder them herself. That is, if this dark, dangerous place hasn’t gotten to them first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally made it, the Fire Capital! This is the last arc, and all the groundwork of Sneakiness and characterization is about to come to fruition. I'm raising the Sneakiness alert to Level 2: Multiple Secrets, as next chapter everyone jumps into the deep end simultaneously, stay tuned!


	19. Alcohol and Ambiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team 7 make it to the hotel bar, and Naruto makes a new friend. Kabuto is having a normal one.

It has been fifteen minutes since the Team 7 genin escaped their hotel-room-prison and made their way to the restaurant-bar on the main floor of the hotel. It is still a hotel, and nothing compared to the true, unadulterated majesty of the Fire Capital, but as hotel bars go, it is just about everything the three of them could hope for.

In their rapid descent to the ground floor, Sasuke complained that even though they had gotten past Kurenai, there was no way they were going to incapacitate whatever bouncer or host or hostess was letting people into the restaurant-bar, let alone somehow convince them to be allowed in.

“As convincing as these disguises are,” said a feminine-looking Sasuke in a pre-pubescent teenage boy’s voice, “They don’t exactly solve our main problem.”

“What problem?” the giddily-orange-haired Naruto asked.

“The fact that we are all obviously underrage,” Sasuke clarified, “There’s no way they’ll let us in. Remember how fast they kicked us out in Konoha?”

“No, we’ll be fine,” said Sakura, who is going by Ranmamaru, at the moment, “I’ve been reading a lot about Fire Capital culture. I look like a hired ninja, Sasuke, you look like a servant, and Naruto is totally rocking bratty lordling vibes. We’ll just pretend we’re his escort, which isn’t even totally untrue.”

This is what they did upon making it to the ground floor and approaching the bar’s hostess, who accepted Naruto’s hastily reproduced explanation without a second thought and smoothly showed them to a booth. Normally, this kind of deception would have garnered secret high-fives and quiet celebration from the budding I&I squad, but the spectacle they had wandered into had them utterly distracted.

The most prominent feature of the room is simply how large it is. There is indeed a bar on the opposite end of the room from them, but in between that are concentric depressions in the floor, as if successively smaller and smaller squares had been punched out of the ground. The ceiling is of indeterminate height, fading into darkness that swirls and coalesces between shades of the darkest crimsons, violets, and evergreens.

Despite this looming darkness, however, the expansive room is not dark. There are lanterns, red, paper, and intricately decorated, seemingly floating in the air, looming just out of touch. Some seem fixed in their positions above tables, illuminating the bar’s patrons, while others hover over top of the various servers making their way around the scattered tables and booths. If one didn’t know better, one would think it supernatural. 

The truth, of course, is that it’s all ninjutsu. Some burnout Nara is probably being paid to project the shadows through some obscure but useless clan technique, and some wind-nature ninja is probably blowing the lanterns around with another D-rank jutsu. This kind of display would be gaudy and see-through in Konoha, but in the  _ Fire Capital,  _ why, it’s an awesome display of military superiority. Of the three of them, Naruto is the only one who seems to be taking it all in. Sasuke and his look-alike, Ranmamaru, are practically salivating over all the important people seated  _ in  _ the restaurant-bar, and compared to them the surroundings are just a backdrop. 

After perhaps a solid two or three minutes of gazing at the splendour of the room, Naruto finally rouses himself to see that Sasuke and Sakura- no, Ranmamaru, are obsessively cataloguing every single person in the vast dining space.

“There’s no way,” Ranmamaru breathes, looking sneakily over a menu, “There’s no way that the freaking  _ Daimyo’s daughter  _ is just sitting over there!”

Naruto tries to follow Sakura-I-mean-Ranmamaru’s gaze, but there are so many tables and couples and people that they all seem to blend in to each other. 

“Uh, yes, that’s her,” Sasuke whispers, employing the exact same menu technique, “But look who she’s dining  _ with!” _

Naruto looks around, he still cannot see anyone particularly recognizable among the restaurant’s patrons. 

“Um,” Naruto interjects, “I don’t know who you guys are talking about, but weren’t we going to do some, like, I&I stuff? Is there anyone cool I can go like, try to interrogate?”

“Oh, right,” Sasuke says with a jolt, briefly remembering that Naruto exists, not really taking his eyes off the many dignitaries and socialites, “Right, um, well, maybe just go chat up someone at the bar? You can’t just go up to people’s tables and sit down here like in those small towns we visited, it’s impolite.”

“Right, well, can you brief me on the etiquette then, Sword?” Naruto asks, trying his luck with Ranmamaru, as Sasuke immediately returns to people-watching.

“Sure, yeah,” Ranmamaru says in a monotone, retrieving a storage scroll from their pocket, “There’s probably a book in here. It’s not that hard, basically just like Konoha-high society but, um. More formal.”

Naruto looks down at the proffered scroll with reluctance. He looks at Sasuke and his doppleganger, who are not paying him the slightest bit of attention, and who seem to have forgotten all about I&I in favour of name-dropping random Fire Capital celebrities to each other. He doesn’t understand it at all, and the half-hearted dismissal is starting to make him angry, which Naruto immediately recognizes and quashes. 

Asuma and Kurenai had both, on different occasions, warned Naruto that, as The Crown, controlling his emotions was of paramount importance, especially if he felt angry, and Naruto had accepted that instruction along with all the other parts of his role. It was something he had to do, for the team, so he did it. It wasn’t even that hard to do, once he was committed to it. He recognized that Sasuke and Ranmamaru were living out some sort of twin fantasy and having fun, and just because he didn’t understand it didn’t mean he had to disrupt it. 

“OK, I’m going to go find someone to chat with,” Naruto says, sliding out of the booth they are all seated in and standing up, “Make sure your comms are working and stuff in case I get in trouble, OK?”

“Yup,” Ranmamaru replies, “Comms. Got it.”

“Stay safe,” Sasuke says, briefly looking over at Naruto. Naruto gives him a thumbs up, and begins to make his way across the grand venue to where the bar is located, on the opposite side of the room. 

_ Concurrently, the streets of the Fire Capital _

Kurenai ducks into an alley, then swiftly makes her way to the rooftop beside her. As soon as she’s on the roof, and out of sight, she begins to run in earnest towards the hotel. The building is among the bigger ones in the city, and its position on top of a cliff just beside the downtown area makes it an easily spotted landmark, but Kurenai has been to that hotel, and in particular that bar, so many times that she could do it with her eyes closed. 

She knows, after all, that those awful, untrustworthy brats went to the bar. They are I&I brats after all, and this hotel is full of interesting people who tend to congregate around alcohol and ambiance. She didn’t expect them to so mercilessly cut down her clone, but even with the clone gone, Asuma would probably be finishing up his meeting with the diplomat in a couple of minutes, and then he’d be in the perfect position to detain the kids. They wouldn’t be in danger long, and besides, no one cared about The Capital anymore these days anyway. 

“They’ll be fine.” This is what Kurenai tells herself as she decides to take the longer, less direct to the hotel. She could have run straight for the cliff, and then run up the side, and hopped onto the balcony waiting at the top, but that might draw attention, and, Kurenai tells herself, “It’s better to keep our cover.” 

She makes her way across rooftops, inching closer to the hotel. She will only be moments too late to prevent everything from going wrong.

_ Concurrently, the hotel _

Beside the hotel’s bar and restaurant, but connected to the main area, is an enormous, private dining room, meant for hosting huge parties and dinner events. The space is large, with looming ceilings, but rather simply put together. A large dinner table, with seating capacity for 32, sprawls across the center of the room, dark, mahogany finish contrasting with the rich, black material that lines the walls. Beyond this feature, and several floating lanterns, warmly illuminating the space, the room is rather bare. 

The reason for the sparse decoration could be called minimalism, but its origins are squarely paranoia. The Fire Daimyo, upon learning of the many surveillance techniques that exist in the ninja world, demanded that no expense be spared to create this room, which was at once a bubbling cauldron of gossip and a blackbox, sealed to the outside world. The construction of this, in truth, deeply unnecessary sanctuary had fallen to the Ambassador of Konoha, esteemed diplomat and veteran ninja Torifune Akimichi. 

It was one of the many ironies that made Kabuto’s job impersonating the man so much easier. The old fool had been so busy designing this bulletproof room for irrelevant dignitaries to indulge their political fantasies that he had scarcely begun to defend his own rather more vulnerable home to intruders. Pity. Torifune had had a reputation for being stubborn, single-minded, direct, but perhaps he could have benefited from just the slightest bit of multitasking.

Well, he was a busy man. Kabuto understood that now. It turns out that the Ambassador of Konoha is virtually the  _ only  _ diplomatic figure from Konoha in the Fire Capital. On the one hand, this meant that there were very few people who could seriously notice Kabuto’s somewhat improvisational impersonation of the diplomat. On the other hand, it meant Kabuto had to fucking do everything himself. Everything.

This had seemed at first to be an enticing challenge, much like the impersonation itself. A test of his wits. This had been a false impression. What it really was was a test of Kabuto’s memory of minute and pointless bureaucratic and civic details regarding the diplomatic process in the Fire Capital. It had also been a test of his familiarity with the histories and personalities of the rest of the diplomats in the Fire Capital. This was a test that he was in no way prepared to take, given that he had no knowledge of these obscure and irrelevant figures. 

So Kabuto had to obtain that knowledge, or risk being found out. In short, he had to spy on these people, I&I style, a one-man Crown-Sword-Shield formation. It was exhilarating, challenging, dangerous, but most of all it was  _ fucking exhausting.  _ Spend all day in awful, totally improvised meetings, spend all night breaking into mansions and impersonating escorts to try and squeeze a drop of context from the incompetent oafs he was meant to deceive. He was run ragged.

And now a Konoha ninja had been assigned to the capital, so Kabuto had to distract him as well, a task to which only a shadow clone would suffice, and which left Kabuto on death’s door as he tried his best not to stumble, not to show fatigue or tiredness.

Of course, the noble, indefatigable Torifune Akimichi had no reason to feel tired. He was living out his “retirement” in the Fire Capital. He waved pleasantly to the hostess manning just outside the hotel bar as he passed them on his way into the private dining room. He opened the door, with gusto, and stepped arrogantly into the room to meet his dinner guest, all swagger and confidence. 

The door slid closed behind him, and immediately Kabuto collapsed, falling to his knees, his intricate henge fading away as its fount of chakra was finally allowed to rest. 

“My, my, Kabuto,” a sickly sweet voice rang out from the end of the dining table, across the room, “You look positively dreadful.”

“Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto huffed, as he took a moment to breathe, “I- I just- I need- I-”

“Eh?” Orochimaru called from the other end of the room, “Speak up, my boy! I can’t hear you!”

“Oro-” Kabuto gasped, raising his voice, “Orochimaru-sama-”

“I can’t  _ hear  _ you, my boy!” Orochimaru called out again, “Come over here so I can hear you properly! Or would you make your Lord strain their dignified ears just to hear your snivelling?”

Kabuto breathed a moment, then stood up and jogged to the end of the table. He collapsed into the seat adjacent to Orochimaru, sweating profusely.

“Or...Orochi…” he began, on the verge of death. Kabuto had neither slept nor eaten in approximately four days, and he had been in a constant state of chakra exhaustion.

“Goodness, enough!” Orochimaru intoned, rolling his eyes, “Honestly, Kabuto, you’re such a drama queen. Are you really so feeble as to be unable to pretend to be a  _ fat, old man  _ for  _ half the day? _ You look paler than precious, perfect, flawless Kimimaro, my special wonderful boy.”

Kabuto tried to respond, but the diversion of oxygen from his brain to his mouth made him briefly lose consciousness.

“Oh, speaking of my god-given child, my perfect, wonderful boy,” Orochimaru said, eyes glazing over in a disturbing mix of hunger and affection, “I decided to bring Kimimaro to the capital with me.”

Kabuto’s heart literally stopped.

“Wh-”

“Yes, he’s out exploring the bar as we speak. I just didn’t feel comfortable leaving him in the village with his  _ condition _ , you understand. That poor, precious boy. He just tries too hard to please me, wouldn’t you agree, Kabuto?”

Kabuto pounded on his chest, trying to restart his motionless blood-pump.

“Anyway, sweet, flawless child that he is, I’m worried that he might run into trouble,” Orochimaru continued fondly, “He doesn’t know much about the capital, or politics, or things like ‘maintaining the secrecy of our clandestine hidden village,’ so I expect you to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t accidentally reveal our whole operation.”

Kabuto’s heart finally started with a jolt, and he blinked rapidly as blood flow returned to his brain. After a second, he processed everything that Orochimaru had just said, and it was only through force of will that he was able to keep himself from going into cardiac arrest a second time. 

“My- my lord,” Kabuto sputtered, light-headed and dazed, “Kimimaro is- is a member of an extremely well-known and dangerous clan, not to mention his condition, which would require me to-”

“Yes, yes,” Orochimaru said, bored, “He needs state-of-the-art medical attention, blah-blah-blah. That’s what  _ you’re _ for, Kabuto. Honestly, you can be so slow. Is your brain even on?”

Technically, Kabuto’s brain was on. To be precise, Kabuto’s brain was running at 3% capacity, which may or may not be ‘on’ depending on one’s definition..

“I-” Kabuto said, blinking, and restoring another 1% functionality, “My lord, I actually need to inform you that I am finding the constraints of this mission rather difficult-”

“Of  _ course _ you are,” Orochimaru agreed.

“My lord, I- wait? You agree?”

“Yes, Kabuto,” Orochimaru said patiently, “A useless, pathetic, dime-a-dozen, shit-for-brains shit-orphan like you can hardly be expected to do the one,  _ simple  _ thing I ask of him, why did I even trust you to do this, of  _ course _ I have to do everything myself-”

“No, please, Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto began quickly, “I can do it! I promise! It’s just that, with Akimichi dead, as you ordered, I have no way to find out what I need to know to do his job, except by spying on every single person I am to meet with, which is 25 delegates from the Fire Nation alone-”

“Honestly, this carelessness and laziness is appalling to see. You’re beginning to remind me of that petulant drunkard’s gormless assistant, what was her name? Suzuki? Shisuna?”

“My lord, no, not Shizune, please! I’m nothing like her! We’re very different!” Kabuto couldn’t keep the tears from welling in his eyes at the comparison, the very thing he feared most being laid bare. Orochimaru smirked slightly at his obvious distress.

“Well, I suppose that I  _ could  _ revive Torifune Akimichi from the dead so you can interrogate him yourself, since, and don’t deny it, Kabuto, I  _ know  _ you didn’t even  _ bother  _ to gruesomely torture him to extract every last drop of information before clumsily killing him.”

“That-” Kabuto said, mentally comparing the impossible logistics of that proposed scenario with those of his own current hell-life, “That would be deeply appreciated, lord Orochimaru, and my deepest apologies for inconveniencing you so. I am forever indebted to your generosity and kindness.”

Orochimaru and ruffled Kabuto’s hair affectionately.

“No shit, idiot,” the Snake Sannin said with a smile, “Now get back into your disguise and go find Kimimaro, and tell him he’s to pretend to be your precious, bastard son while you’re here. Also, take this. I’ve brought some of his medicine in this scroll, I don’t remember which ones though, so you’ll have to procure the rest. Oh, and inform him that he’s to dye his hair and wear the nice clothes I put in there too, won’t you? I don’t want these disgusting Fire Capital fat-cats gawking at my precious, wonderful boy’s true, unblemished beauty.”

Wordlessly, Kabuto accepted the proffered scroll, containing Kimimaro’s medicine, new wardrobe and so on. No doubt there was a lovingly crafted bento-box in there, and a note from his “father” describing how well he was loved and all the awful things he was permitted to do to Kabuto, should the urge strike. Just an educated guess.

“OK Seriously, Kabuto, go,” Orochimaru said crossly, “Your tiredness is making  _ me  _ tired, and your feebleness is making me sick.”

“Yes, Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto said, bowing, and running out the door, flawless henge reemerging as he moved. As far as meetings with Orochimaru went, that one had been in the upper 50%. Kabuto counted that as a win. He let that small victory suffuse him as he got back into character, and entered the hotel bar’s enormous dining space, eyes peeled for that little shit, Kimimaro. 

_ Concurrently, the other side of the dining space _

“Hey there,” Naruto says, sliding into the seat beside the only interesting-looking person he could find at this bar, “Come here often?”

“I do not come here often,” the pale boy beside him replies matter-of-factly, “This is the first time I have been to this country.”

“Oh?” Naruto says, leaning forward and putting on his fake I-am-interested face, “Then where exactly have you been all this time?”

“A ninja village. I believe my lord has requested it be referred to as,” the pale boy frowns slightly, as if trying to remember something obscure, “‘The Village Hidden in the Sound.’ I have lived there for some time, but it seems like I will be dying here instead.”

“Whoa, you’re gonna  _ die? _ ” Naruto says, genuinely interested now, “How do you know that?”

The pale boy shrugs, his bony shoulders almost coming out of the loose and low-cut shirt draped over his thin frame.

“It is my master’s will. I have always known that that was the price of my salvation.”

“Wow, you are even more morbid than,” Naruto begins before catching himself, “Than um, this brooding guy I know.”

Naruto looks away casually, pretending to inspect the bottles behind the bar. When he looks back, the pale boy is staring straight at him, eyes sparkling with a weird curiosity.

“You remind me of someone as well,” he says quietly, and then leans forward, squinting, to look deep into Naruto’s eyes, “And you seem to carry that same great burden of darkness. Who are you?”

“Um,” Naruto says, frantically searching for an appropriate alias for a lordling and cursing Ranmamaru for not giving him a better coverstory, “I’m um...the lord of...the...Uzumaki clan.”

“Uzumaki?”

“Yes, um, Uzumaru Uzumaki. That’s my name. Lord Uzumaru Uzumaki.”

Technically, he shouldn’t use any part of his real name at all, but Naruto has never heard anyone talking about the Uzumaki clan in Konoha, so probably no one would know about it outside the village either. 

“Ah, my lord,” the pale boy says, eyes widening a little, “I am grateful to make your acquaintance.”

Naruto’s hand is resting on the bar, and the pale boy gently picks it up, and gives it a small kiss. Naruto blushes immediately, and as the pale boy lifts his head up, still so close to him, Naruto’s heart starts beating faster. The boy’s hands are so soft, and yet he’s from a ninja village? Even Sasuke’s hands are rough and calloused. Naruto’s aren’t, but that’s because of his incredible healing powers, probably, but, wait, does that mean this boy has healing powers too?

“And, uh,” Naruto stammers, retracting his hand hastily, trying to distract himself from his own suddenly racing mind, “Who are you, hm? A ninja?”

“I’m Kimimaro,” the pale boy says, smiling, “At your service.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had to be split up, so you'll have to wait to see what horrible fate befalls Sasuke and Sakura, excuse me, Ranmamaru, while Naruto dances with Kimimaro. Hint: did you know that Amegakure participated in the Chunin Exams in Konoha? 
> 
> I have no excuse for not putting this chapter out earlier, but maybe I will do something crazy and write the next one shortly too. Stay tuned!


	20. Falling Deeper Into The Night

_Moments before, a booth in the hotel bar_

Sasuke’s eyes dart from face to face in the crowded lounge, Sharingan activated but concealed behind brown contact lenses. This is such a stupid idea. These people are all so powerful, they’re all so important, they’re all exactly the kind of threat that Naruto will never understand and Sasuke will always have to fear. Sasuke’s trying to take in every person, judge every single threat, but it’s far too much, far, far too much. Words fly by at an unprecedented rate, and he needs to _slow down_ and evaluate each one individually but it’s all too much information. The perceived danger makes him unable to stop himself, so like a machine his eyes flit constantly from person to person, trying and failing to see something worthwhile. 

**“Ambitious.” “Proud.” “Narcissistic.” “Ambitious.” “Cowardly.” “Lush.”**

Sasuke’s attention is pulled in every direction, and it is _not_ helped by Sakura- no, not Ranmamaru, _Sakura_ \- constantly bringing up every interesting person that _she_ notices, which is a lot of people, because apparently Sakura has read _everything_ about the Fire Capital including all the tabloid gossip and superficial celebrity drama. He replies automatically, without thinking, because by now he has learned how to conceal his anxiety while still being an outwardly functional person. Still, it’s aggravating to have to even keep up the pretense. He recedes deeper into himself, focuses more on what his eyes are seeing.

**“Duplicitous.” “Greedy.” “Broken.” “Kind.” “Cowardly.” “Dull.”**

_Wait, what was that? Did I just see-_

Naruto says something beside him. Sasuke can barely register the words, but it’s _Naruto_ , so of course it distracts him enough that he loses sight of where that word was, which frees up mental resources to process Naruto’s words...slightly. Sasuke tries to wrench his focus back to scanning the crowded lounge, but he can’t help but pay attention when Naruto’s speaking. 

_Naruto wants to...go do something?_

That’s as much as Sasuke allows himself to parse. Naruto is everything, he’s The Crown, yes, but the flip-side of that importance is the need to protect him. As such, Sasuke needs to go back to scanning the room for threats, to keep Naruto safe. That’s the goal. Still, placating him is in some way in service of that goal, so Sasuke says something back, not really paying attention, then returns to his nervous people-watching.

**“Masochist.” “Precious.”**

_Where was that word? Did I Imagine it?_

Naruto continues talking, and Sakura says something else. Saske isn’t paying attention, can’t afford to pay attention.

 _Where? Was it Kurenai-sensei?_ _Has she found us already?_

Sasuke’s eyes find a word he recognizes, and he focuses on that area, remembering a sequence.

**“Duplicitous.” “Greedy.” “Broken.” “Kind.”**

_There-_

Sasuke’s eyes lock on and he tries to focus on the person with Itachi’s word, not the word itself, but at this distance the word actually obscures the figure. Sasuke squints, tries to make them out, there’s someone with- blue hair? That can’t be right- and then sitting beside them-

**“Lonely.” “Hate.”**

An orange-haired boy stands up beside him, blocking his view. 

_Naruto. Shit. Not now._

Still, it’s _Naruto,_ Sasuke can’t very well ignore him, so he tears himself away from his frantic searching, wills his Sharingan to deactivate, and looks up at the sun. With his Sharingan deactivated, Sasuke regains some clarity, even though a nagging voice in the back of his mind is screaming that this is absolutely not the moment to indulge his stupid crush, he needs to protect him not pamper him-

“OK, I’m going to go find someone to chat with,” Naruto says, obviously feeling ignored and restless, “Make sure your comms are working and stuff in case I get in trouble, OK guys?”

_Shit._

Naruto leaving is absolutely the last thing Sasuke wants. He wants to say that it’s not safe, that they should just go back to the hotel room. He has even done this before, in a couple of the small towns they’d visited before arriving in the capital. His Sharingan detected a word, and that word suggested that the person might be a ninja, and that suggested that Naruto might be in danger, so it wasn’t worth it to try to interrogate them. They would disengage quietly and pretend nothing ever happened. Better safe than sorry. Sasuke has fully made that call before, he knows he should make it again, but he isn’t thinking rationally. He can’t think rationally about this.

Itachi might be sitting right in front of him.

The thought scatters Sasuke’s composure like a shotgun shell, and years of therapy, weeks of stress-testing with Asuma and Sakura peel off like eggshells, and suddenly every single threat in the room loom ten times larger, but it’s not him he’s worried about it’s-

_Naruto-_

Sasuke tries to focus on Naruto, tries to take in everything about him, but it’s wrong, slant, off. The boy’s hair is the wrong colour and his clothes are wrong, even his trademark whisker-scars have been concealed. Whatever feeble circuitry Sasuke has built up to combat his anxiety spirals, to combat the all-encompassing need to _identify the danger_ , that circuitry fails to click into place while looking at this disguised Naruto. Instead, all Sasuke can manage is a rushed attempt to keep Naruto momentarily safe, as the enormity of the danger around him comes crashing back in.

“Stay safe,” Sasuke says, trying to put as much meaning as he can into it. Hoping that Naruto will recognize this one time when Sasuke is really willing to communicate “ _I can’t protect you right now.”_ He tries to reach for Naruto’s hand to squeeze it, but in the dim, red ambiance his gesture goes unnoticed and Naruto gives him a thumbs up instead, before turning and heading into the relative darkness. Sasuke watches him, but watching Naruto and not the rest of the bar’s patrons makes him immediately anxious.

“Saku-,” Sasuke says, doing his best to track Naruto, to try and keep his mind from going back to that man and his stupid word, let alone all the other salient threats around them, “I mean, _Ranmamaru,_ are your comms already set up?”

“Uh,” Sakura says, fully not paying attention, “I guess? Probably?”

“What?” Sasuke turns to look at her, “Turn them on! We need to stay in contact with Naruto-”

_Naruto-_

Sasuke realizes his mistake immediately, wrenches his gaze back to where his good friend had been, but it’s too late. Wherever Naruto has gone, it has taken him into the vast and bustling lounge before them, and the boy has summarily been devoured by the horde of anonymous socialites and celebrities. He can’t make out individuals or faces at this distance, at least not with his normal vision.

Reluctantly, Sasuke reactivates his Sharingan. 

“Geez, OK, I’m turning them on,” Sakura pouts, “Give me a minute.”

Sasuke grimaces, more at himself than anything, although suddenly seeing the word **“Sasuke”** in his peripheral, accompanied by a girl who is disguised to look just like him, is not helping his mood. He is going to have words with her when all of this settles down, this impersonation is too much, especially knowing her word and whatever weird obsession it portends. 

Sasuke can’t devote much more time to that worry, however, as his Sharingan begins feeding him information and threat assessments at a rapid clip, completely eclipsing any threat Sakura might pose. Naruto’s gone, and the worst thing in the world could be out there. Sasuke begins to scan the crowd again, praying that he sees Naruto’s words, and desperately trying and failing to forget that he may have seen Itachi’s. 

_Presently, the other side of the dining space._

Naruto feels very alone. He is seated at an adult bar, talking to a very pretty boy, and surrounded by various important looking people, but he still feels very alone. Neither Sasuke nor Ranmamaru has been in touch via their comms, and when Naruto has glanced back at the booth, he sees both of his teammates are still seated, not taking up proactive defensive positions, not even really looking in his direction. 

In that moment, as he is looking out across the lounge, Naruto notices a large pair of double doors open at the opposite end of the dining space, where Sasuke and Ranmamaru are seated, and a large figure walk through them into the dining space. Kimimaro seems to notice it too.

“Lord Uzumaki,” Kimimaro says pleasantly, regaining Naruto’s attention, “There’s something I’d like to show you outside on the balcony.”

The pale boy stands up and extends his hand.

“Would you care to join me?”

Naruto freezes. He has not read volumes and volumes of fanfiction. He does not have the vocabulary to describe boys who are romantically interested in each other, let alone the ability to extrapolate what one boy might attempt to facilitate by relocating them to a beautiful, moonlit vista. His I&I training did not prepare him for this. He only has one reference point, from a night several years ago, when a sweet, gentle boy performed the same gesture.

“Ramen?” Naruto’s brain says, completing the pattern.

“I...don’t know what that is,” Kimimaro says slowly, hand still outstretched, “But probably not.”

 _“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RAMEN IS-”_ Naruto says extremely, inappropriately loudly, “OK, yes, let’s go. I can’t believe someone wouldn’t know what _ramen_ is. Where to begin?”

Naruto’s outburst is heard by the rest of the patrons around them, who give him looks of extreme incredulity, which gives him the idea that maybe relocating to a less occupied place would be useful. Naruto is self-aware enough to know that his explanations of ramen can be on the loud and passionate side, and that that might hurt his cover among genuine nobility. 

“OK, to the balcony then,” Naruto says haughtily, trying to regain his lordly demeanour, “I suppose I’ll have to explain things myself.”

Kimimaro smiles as Naruto grabs his hand and leads the two of them to a pair of large glass doors, and outside to a wide, alabaster balcony overlooking the Fire Capital. 

“So, ramen is actually a corruption of a Ninja Chinese term, which came to us in the Ninja 1800’s…”

There is a small crackle of noise in Naruto’s ear as his comms exceed their maximum effective range and cut out, but he doesn’t hear it over his loud explanations of a culturally essential soup and noodle dish. 

_Concurrently_

“OK, they’re on-” Ranmamaru says, adjusting his earpiece, “Something about going out to the balcony-”

From his earpiece a teenage boy’s high, incredulous voice blares, “ _YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RAMEN IS-”_ prompting Ranmamaru to remove the earpiece immediately, and clutch their ear in pain. There’s a loud ringing, and the sounds of the rest of the bar fade to nothing.

“What? What did he say?” Sasuke says, not taking his gaze off the crowd of people before them, his eyes darting rapidly between the many patrons of the restaurant. His body is tense, ready to leap into action.

“Fuck, my ear, holy shit,” Ranmamaru gasps, “What did you say, Sasuke? I can’t hear-”

“You can’t-” Sasuke begins to say, looking over in concern, before suddenly his dark brown eyes widen as he sees something, a figure approaching.

“Fuck, it’s another clone,” Sasuke breathes, “Shit, OK, Sakur- _Ranmamaru,_ you delay them, I’m going to go get Naruto. We’ll just pretend we were hanging out, people-watching, OK? No I&I shenanigans, just some kids, having fun, being rebellious but safe. Don’t mention I&I!”

Sasuke practically jumps out of the booth they’re in, immediately stumbles because of the blocky sandals Ranmamaru gave him for his disguise- _Haha, nice_ \- and then hurries towards the doors to the balcony on the other side of the room.

“Hey, wait!” Ranmamaru calls out, but Sasuke’s out of earshot already, “What did you just say? I&I shenanigans? Mention I&I?”

“Well _pardon_ the interruption,” a loud, unfiltered voice says beside her, “But I couldn’t help overhearing the phrase ‘I&I shenanigans!’ Could it be that you are one of those plucky young genin that old Sarutobi sent for me to shape up?”

Ranmamaru turns, and despite having no hearing in one of his ears, the sheer _volume_ of this man’s voice is enough for him to hear and understand. In fact, _volume_ might be a good way to describe the enormous man standing before him: he is a man of considerable bodily volume, a wide, hearty man, with great rosy cheeks and hair styled inexplicably into cat’s ears, thoroughly gray except for the tips, which are a pleasant russet-red. For one who has meticulously studied Konoha’s relationship with the Fire Capital or the past few weeks, this man is immediately recognizable.

“Ah-” Ranmamaru says, although it comes out as more of an “Eep.”

“Speak up, boy!” the man, who is absolutely, and unmistakably the infamous Torifu Akimichi, say unquietly, “Why, you sound like a frightened, little girl! So? You’re I&I? Hm?” 

Ranmamaru is freaking out, grasps for some intuition as to how to behave in this situation, and lands on “mentioning I&I,” as per Sasuke’s direct recommendation.

“Ye-” Ranmamaru gulps, and then, doing his best to lower his voice as much as possible, to sound more grownup, which just makes it sound kind of raspy and edgy, “Yes, Mr. Akimichi, sir. I’m The Sword, part of Team 7, Kurenai Yuuhi’s genin squad.”

“Ah, The Sword, eh?” the huge man says, stroking his chin, “I can see why Yuuhi-san would want you in particular to follow after her. Are you already a master of genjutsu too then, boy? An academic prodigy? Hopefully you don’t intend to follow in your brother’s shoes!”

“I-” Ranmamar sputters. This man thinks Ranmamaru is someone else. Someone with a brother? 

“Bahaha!” Torifu guffaws, slapping his own belly, “Don’t be so timid! You’ve got much to be proud of, no need to be shy about it! There’s plenty of people in the capital who’d be interested in meeting a boy like you.”

“Uh, but, sir,” the young genin stutters, desperately trying to be brave Ranmamaru and not terrified Sakura, “We’re undercover, sir, I can’t, give away my, identity, sir-”

“Ohohoho, I&I through and through eh?,” the huge, towering man says, grinning like a cheshire cat as he places his hands on the table and leans into the booth, trapping Ranmamaru in place, “Well we can keep up the pretense if you’d like, but don’t think for a second, Lord Uchiha, that I don’t know _exactly_ who you are.”

_Concurrently_

The young lord Sasuke Ucihaha does his best to move speedily through the dense, crowded dining space, but the combination of darkness, servers, and his _stupid wooden sandals_ makes it almost impossible to move both quickly and stealthily, and Naruto could already be in trouble, captured by some foreign ninja or worse. That’s unacceptable, and Sasuke needs to either commit to getting over there as quickly as possible, or move like a normal human being and try to remain discreet.

In the moment, Sasuke opts for quickness, and starts to really run towards the bar, but in his mad dash to get to Naruto he immediately bumps into a woman seated at one of the tables, causing her to drop her glass of wine on the ground, shattering it. Sasuke let’s out an “Eep!” that would make Sakura proud, because he is running at 99% anxiety tolerance, and it is only the desperate need to get to Naruto that is stopping him from going into a full-blown panic attack. The woman he bumped into looks down at the shards of glass and wine with a strange calmness.

The word **“Broken”** hovers appropriately above her, framing hair that appears to be a pale blue, although in the red-tinged light of the bar it’s hard to say. 

“Ah, my drink,” the maybe-blue-haired woman says, sounding only mildly surprised, “What a mess.”

_You can’t just run into someone and then run off. This is the capital, there will be consequences, she might have powerful allies, she might have bodyguards-_

Sasuke turns off his Sharingan and turns to look at the woman, having no idea what to say, but knowing that getting any more anxious than he already is will probably lead to him blowing his cover and fucking everything up somehow. If he’s going to do that anyway, he doesn’t want to hear his Sharingan describing it in vivid detail.

The woman isn’t looking at him, rather she seems more concerned with the growing wine-stain on the carpet beside her. She glances to her side, flicks her wrist, and the paper napkins from her table seem to lift into the air as if alive, then flutter lazily onto the spilled liquid staining the carpet below them. The final one contorts itself in mid air as it lands, taking on the shape of a paper swan, which then alights once more, flying around and picking up the various tiny glass shards left by the broken wine glass. 

“Are you alright, dear-” the possibly-blue-haired woman says, turning to look at Sasuke. Seeing each other face-to-face, Sasuke is struck by how beautiful she is. She has piercing amber eyes, thick, lush eyelashes, and what appears to be a small piercing under her lower lip. It’s a style utterly foreign to anything he’s seen in Konoha. Sakura could probably place it, but all Sasuke knows is that it’s _sick_. While Sasuke is gawking, the woman looks him up and down too, then furrows her brow.

“Mr. Canopy,” she says, turning to address the only other person at her table, a grumpy looking man in fine, brown robes, balding, with a small pair of glasses perched on his nose. The man has not paid this scene any attention, and seems to be going through a number of papers, tiny, dark brown eyes flicking rapidly from line to line. How he can read in this dim light Sasuke has no idea.

“Why is there a child running about this bar?” the woman asks, “Aren’t there...laws against that sort of thing here?”

“Indeed there are,” the man says gruffly, not taking his eyes from his work, “But the children in this lounge are overwhelmingly likely to be pages or servants in the employ of a noble lord or lady. Such servants are allowed in the bar of course, in case, for example, their lord requires a drink. I expect that is why this one was moving with such urgency towards the bar, before your shared collision.”

“Ah, astute as ever, Mr. Canopy,” the blue haired lady nods, before turning her gaze back to Sasuke, “Well, darling, as long as you’re up, would you grab me another-”

 _“Miss Konan,_ ” the man named Mr. Canopy says sharply, “It does _not_ befit a dignitary of The Land of Rain to order around another’s servants. That would be seen as quite an affront.”

“Rain,” “Canopy,” “Konan,” these words pass like water over Sasuke’s entirely full mind, as he waits, tense, looking for the slightest opportunity to bolt without seeming suspicious. 

“Oh my,” the woman named Konan says, “Well _thank goodness_ I have you here to be my expert on Fire Nation Etiquette, Mr. Canopy, or else I might have made a grave mistake! How embarrassing that would have been. I suppose then I will just have to wring out these wine-soaked napkins and salvage what little I can from them instead.”

She smiles as she says this, winking at Sasuke, who literally cannot process the gesture at all but it seems like maybe it’s not bad? Sasuke hasn’t interacted with any Fire Capital nobility since losing his family, but whoever this one is she doesn’t seem very antagonistic. Her sad sort of playfulness actually reminds him weirdly of Itachi, but of course Itachi has nothing to do with anyone in the Land of Rain. Somehow though, Sasuke feels like this Konan-person and Itachi would get along.

Mr. Canopy audibly sighs, and removes his glasses, rubbing his eyes. _He_ does not appear to get along with his partner’s shenanigans. 

“Please do not do that, Konan-sama,” he says wearily, eyes closed, “As for you, girl, you may go. I’m sure your lord is waiting.”

“Um, thank you, sir,” Sasuke says in his teenage-boy’s voice, not hesitating to accept this chance to escape, turning and resuming his sprint towards the balcony. Quickly, with renewed urgency he ascends the successive levels of the dining space and arrives at the bar. To his left, he sees a pair of glass doors, which must lead out to the balcony that Sakura had mentioned before. Sasuke pivots, runs towards them, and through the glass he can see, even without his Sharingan, an orange-haired boy standing next to some ghostly figure. Sasuke pauses for a moment to catch his breath-

And suddenly he feels an intense, burning, crushing presence, like when you’re walking alone and you feel as though you’re being watched. Sasuke freezes. The presence intensifies, and it feels familiar, intimate, like it was pulled directly from his darkest memories, and suddenly Sasuke remembers a sequence of words. 

**“Duplicitous.” “Greedy.”**

From his position looking outside Sasuke can see the person beside Naruto get closer, although through the glass doors the image is blurry, and he can’t really judge what’s going on. He could activate his Sharingan, he really should. He turned it off after bumping into that woman, Konan, but-

**“Broken.”**

That was the word that had been above Konan’s head. Sasuke hadn’t seen the word of that man sitting with her, but from here he might be able to. He activates his Sharingan, which supplies with the precise sequence he had seen before-

**“Duplicitous.” “Greedy.” “Broken.”**

The next word in the sequence immediately comes to mind as Sasuke’s Sharingan spins to life and suddenly the presence on his back is completely obvious _,_ he knows exactly what it is, he knows exactly _who_ it is, he can feel it like a knife in him, extending back, a line of sight, his Sharingan is projecting exactly where the sensation is coming from, where he was just standing, exactly where he needs to look, if only he could turn and look, turn away- 

With his Sharingan he can see Naruto’s face clearly now, although apparently words don’t show up through glass, Sasuke would still recognize Naruto’s face anywhere. Somehow his makeup has gotten messed up, and those tell-tale whisker scars are peeking through. Naruto is looking straight at him, through the doors, like he knows Sasuke is there, like he’s searching for Sasuke, waiting for Sasuke to rescue him-

But there is no way that Sasuke can ignore this danger, this impossible pressure drilling two holes in his back. He has to know. He can’t live and not know. For years he had Naruto, and Naruto was everything, and he could think about something else, but faced with seeing his brother again, Sasuke has no choice. He has to know.

He turns away from the balcony, eyes tracking immediately back to that blue-haired woman, passing over her to land on her companion, a single word making itself clear in his vision:

**“Kind.”**

_Concurrently_

Sakura has always prided herself on her intelligence. She is quick to understand, she learns from her mistakes, and she is curious and open-minded. After she met Ino, that intelligence began to serve a higher goal: not embarrassing herself in front of the most amazing, graceful, beautiful girl she’d ever met. To that end, a voice that Sakura had taken to calling ‘Inner Sakura’ had manifested early on, and that voice and Sakura would often discuss things and decisions before Sakura made them, to make sure that Sakura wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of Ino.

After Ino’s crush on a certain boy began to dominate their discussions, Inner Sakura had begun to take on a different form as well, a more masculine, bad-ass demeanour, whose job was still to impress Ino, but was now also taking cues from Sasuke and any other man in whom Ino expressed the slightest interest. 

Lately, Inner Sakura had been dominating their conversations, and, as of fifteen minutes ago, Inner Sakura had become Outer Sakura, and had decided that they would be called Ranmamaru. For the mission, of course. Just as a random codename, you understand. For the mission and no other reason, Sakura’s inner model of what Ino found worthwhile and good had decided that Sakura should be a boy named Ranmamaru, who also just happened to look like another boy named Sasuke. This seemed unorthodox but harmless, so Sakura was willing to go with it. 

For fifteen minutes or so, this had been an incredibly fun and fulfilling disguise. Sakura _felt_ like a badass, and could imagine sitting with Ino and, all cool and confident, talking about all the cool famous people she had met while being a pro-ninja, NBD. Sasuke even left, and for a moment, Sakura felt like the genuine article, not a petty attempt at mimicry. Maybe this crazy Ranmamaru plan was actually a good, and well-reasoned idea.

Then the most important Konoha ninja in the entire Fire Capital sat down beside her, and started talking about the power of darkness, and the heritage of the Uchiha clan, and what could be gained if you sacrificed friendship and Sakura realized rather abruptly that _oh my god, Torifu Akimichi thinks I’m Sasuke Uchiha._

In fact, this man, who was obviously and undeniably the Most Honoured diplomat Torifu Akimichi, had just posed a very distressing and obviously sinister question. He seemed to be willing to let Sakura give it some thought, so she without hesitation took that moment to call some kind of mental congress between herself and Ranmamaru, who had been calling the shots and absolutely gotten them both into this mess.

The issue on the table: Thanks to Ranmamaru, Torifu Akimichi thinks that Sakura Haruno is in fact the famous Sasuke Uchiha. This is in fact _not_ who Sakura Haruno is, and that discrepancy may lead to some misunderstanding down the line. Discuss.

“Good,” thought Ranmamaru, in his most chad possible voice, “If he’s fooled, then we’re obviously doing something right. Ino will probably be fooled too, or at least think we’re some kind of cool, attractive guy. I vote that this is a good thing.”

“No this is _not_ a good thing holy shit this is not good at all shit shit shit shit shitttttttt!” Sakura thought in response, astounded that this sudden crisis had not put her firmly back in control of their decision-making, “Are you crazy? Am _I_ crazy? We’re in _way_ over our head, can’t you see that?”

“Meh, I see this as an absolute win,” thought Ranmamaru, unphased, “A powerful, important ninja wants to take us under his wing and train us to be the strongest Uchiha since Itachi, nay, Madara himself. His words. Obviously, he sees our potential, which means we have the right potential to be what Ino wants-”

“FORGET WHAT INO WANTS,” Sakura thought, screaming internally. Ranmamaru mentally gasped in shock. 

“ _Forget what Ino wants?_ ” Ranmamaru thought, aghast, “Are you nuts? What’s the point of any of this then? Why become a ninja at all?”

“Why become a ninja at all if we’re just going to _lie to authority figures and get in trouble?”_ Sakura thought, begging herself to see reason.

“Um, because it makes us look really cool?” Ranmamaru thought, not seeing the problem, “ _Naruto_ even said we were badass, and you know he is incapable of dishonesty. Ino will probably think the same thing! If we get in trouble, that just makes us even cooler, which I will remind you, is totally something Ino values.”

“We could _literally die!_ ” Sakura thought, exasperated and desperate, “Lying to powerful ninja is _the fastest way to die quickly, remember?_ It doesn’t matter what Ino thinks if we’re _dead_!”

Ranmamaru just mentally shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter if we’re dead if Ino doesn’t like us,” he thought plainly.

There was silence. 

“You really think that?” Sakura asked, without a hint of judgment.

“ _You_ really think that,” Ranmamaru confirmed, as if explaining a tautology.

“Huh,” Sakura thought. She really did feel that way. She hadn’t explicitly verbalized it to herself before, but yeah, there really was nothing else. Not anymore, not after coming this far. In that moment she basically made up her mind, but still thought that she should put up at least a token argument, although she couldn’t justify why. 

“But is this really the best way to do things? Doesn’t this feel desperate? Doesn’t it feel pathetic? Weak? Like, wouldn’t the mature thing to do be to just...I don’t know, give up on Ino, and try to live for ourselves, try to be ‘authentically Sakura,’ whatever that means?”

“I don’t know,” Ranmamaru replied honestly, “I’m part of _you._ I only know what you know, and of that I only know about the parts that comprise me. But this feels right to me, to whatever part of you I represent. I don’t know why, I just know that it does.”

“I get that,” Sakura concedes, and then, quietly, like the last thought before falling into a dream, “But I’m scared. I don’t think we’re strong enough to do this. We’re not the main character, you know? We’re not strong enough to be him.”

“We will be,” Ranmamaru thought with finality. 

Then, Sakura blinks, and Ranmamaru grimaces. To all the world, it seems as if the boy sitting across from renowned diplomat Torifu Akimichi has merely paused a moment to reflect, having been asked to consider a very serious question.

“Well, _Ranmamaru_?” Torifu says, seeming to recognize that the genin across from him has come to some sort of realization, “I should think the answer is obvious to one such as yourself, but I will ask you again. If you are indeed The Sword, then what is it that you must seek above all else?”

Ranmamaru gulps, and then steels himself. When he answers, there is not a hint of weakness in his voice.

“Power.”

_Concurrently_

Naruto mentally prepares himself to explain _from scratch_ the most important food item in all the Elemental Nations, but his half-formed lecture evaporates the moment he steps outside onto the balcony. They’re on the ground floor of the hotel, but the hotel itself sits on a cliff, overlooking the Fire Capital, so the entire city is in view. Evening has given birth to night in the Fire Capital, but the night is young, and the city isn’t ready to sleep. Everywhere distant buildings are aglow, like a swarm of fireflies, like a sea of embers, like his distant village calling him home, welcoming him with a thousand thousand new lights. 

Naruto is speechless, unable to do anything but try and fail to process what he’s seeing. He lets Kimimaro lead him gently to the balustrade to get a better view, and the two of them simply lean out in silence, mesmerized. Naruto can’t look away, can’t think of anything else, no thought is large enough to overcome the impossible awe of this sight. Beyond his ability to control, tears come to his eyes.

“Is this,” he whispers, “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“No, I’ve never seen this before either,” Kimimaro says, looking out towards the city too, the smallest amount of awe breaking the surface of his otherwise placid monotone, “It’s really something though.”

Naruto just stares, transfixed. Kimimaro takes it in too, then his gaze flicks to the moon, full and brighter than even the city’s most ardent illumination. It would seem that Naruto has not even noticed this most common feature of the night sky yet, so transfixed is he by the view of the city. Kimimaro's eyes settle on Naruto, where tears are drawing a streak through the boy’s makeup, revealing small scars on each cheek.

“Why are you crying?” Kimimaro asks, neither confused nor curious.

“Because it’s...it’s so beautiful,” Naruto whispers, “I’ve never seen something like this. I didn’t know that- I didn’t know that this existed.”

“Ah,” Kimimaro says, in understanding. He turns away, and then, a thought occurs to him and he giggles quietly, covering his mouth with his sleeve to try to conceal the gesture. His attempt fails, however, and Naruto, always on guard for the scorn of strangers, notices the laughter immediately.

“What are you-” Naruto says, defensively, blinking away his tears. He glances over at Kimimaro, expecting to see that cruel, superior sneer that he knows so well, but what he sees is something else entirely, something completely unimagined. In the moonlight, that pale boy’s skin seems perfectly bright, soft, not like a human, like something ethereal, something necessarily better. His long white hair is settled serenely across his shoulders, and it glistens like silver, shining and shimmering and changing with every small movement Kimimaro makes. He turns to Naruto, brilliant green eyes sparkling with mischief, a small smile playing at his lips, and Naruto knows in an instant that purposeful cruelty is as foreign to that boy as it is to him. Instantly, like a wave washing over him, Naruto feels completely alone in the world except for this boy.

This is enough to summon the appropriate memory, enough for Naruto to recognize the actual pattern of events. He remembers the sudden glimmer of hope, the idea that loneliness could abate. He remembers the joy of that hope unfurling everyday, feeling truer and truer, until one day it seemed to reach a ceiling out of nowhere, and Naruto was no longer allowed to get closer. Like an invisible barrier that he could shatter if only he knew the right action to take. But what? Everything he does seems to embarrass Sasuke these days, or worry him. What could he do, what _was_ there to do that could break that invisible barrier?

“I’ve just thought of something,” Kimimaro says softly, startling Naruto out of his thoughts, and right back into them as he takes in Kimimaro’s gentle appearance again.

“I...I’m not one for self-indulgence,” Kimimaro continues, “But you really do remind me of someone, and now that I’m here I don’t think I’m going to get to see him again, and…”

Kimimaro blushes, which makes _no sense_ , so Naruto blushes, which makes Kimimaro smile. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, gently, effortlessly smashing through Naruto’s entire conception of reality.

“Can you _what-_ ” Naruto says, immediately putting up his hands to create a barrier between him and, and this boy, who, in the moonlight, is the most beautiful thing Naruto has ever seen, “You- can you- _you can’t do that! What are you even talking about?_ ”

“Oh, I...didn’t realize it was so strange to ask?” Kimimaro says hesitantly, cocking his head to the side, “Juugo and I would just do it all the time...hm. Is this...like... when you mentioned ramen before? Do you not know what kissing is?”. 

The audacity nearly brings Naruto out of his state of shock

“Is _kissing_ like _ramen_ -” Naruto begins, mind breaking. He can’t even continue, his thoughts are impossibly broken, like shards of glass scattered on the ground, and he keeps landing on and discarding words as he tries to explain. He looks around, not at the beautiful, romantic, heart-melting scene to his left, because that is _not helping_ , but to his right, he looks back at the hotel, and there’s someone standing behind the glass doors, but they turn away, so Naruto looks back at Kimimaro, who is just standing there all confused and beautiful-

“Look,” Naruto says, breathing hard, blushing, “What- you- that- OK. Look. Look. We can’t kiss. I am almost sure that that is not...OK. OK. Look.”

He finally lands on something.

“Look,” Naruto says, looking Kimimaro in the eyes, “Kissing you would be like...like kissing _Sasuke_ , understand?”

This does not seem to carry the meaning that Naruto thought it would.

“I...do not know who that is,” Kimimaro says blankly, “Someone you know?”

“Uh, _yeah_ someone I know,” Naruto explains rapidly, “He’s like my _brother,_ dude! We’re really close! You can’t just kiss someone because you like him and he’s pretty!”

“Hm,” Kimimaro says, pondering this new information for a second, “But what if he wants to kiss you too?”

“What if he-” Naruto begins then stops as his brain smashes against the concrete of this idea and explodes, again. Up is down. Left is right. Naruto’s brain cannot begin to model this situation, but it gives a valiant effort.

_I like Sasuke, and he’s pretty. I want to kiss him, but obviously I can’t, probably. But what if he wants to kiss-_

Naruto nearly swoons.

“What,” he breathes, light-headed, “What are you suggesting?”

“I’m _suggesting_ that I like you, and I think you’re pretty,” Kimimaro explains patiently, putting his hands up to meet Naruto’s, and wrapping his fingers delicately between the other boy’s.

_Eep._

“So I’m asking you,” Kimimaro continues, “Can I kiss you?”

Naruto’s heart skips a beat as he considers this same question again in a new context. It’s getting really, _really_ hard to think clearly, or even really at all. The city hasn’t stopped being breathtaking. The moonlight is still illuminating this otherworldly boy. There’s someone behind those closed doors, but in that moment they could be a hundred miles away. Whatever wordless feeling Naruto harbours for that boy, a world away, demands to be expressed there and then if it is to persist at all. 

“OK,” he says at last, giving in. He closes his eyes and leans forward, hands pressing against the boy’s in front of him, and, as an afterthought, he tilts his head ever-so slightly to the side, and then, out of nowhere, there are lips on his lips, gentle, pressing in slightly. This is kissing. It lasts for a moment, not even a full two seconds, and then those lips pull away from his and it’s over, just like that. He opens his eyes.

 _Huh._

“Hm,” Kimimaro says, still standing in front of him, frowning slightly, “That wasn’t the same at all. Oh well.”

“Is that,” Naruto says, stepping back, remembering he’s a ninja, and that Kimimaro is a ninja, and that they’re alone, “Is _that_ what you wanted to show me?”

“No,” Kimimaro says, and whatever disappointment he had revealed seems to have passed, “That was just a whim. I wanted to show you _this_ , little Demon-Fox.”

As he says this, Kimimaro tugs on the collar of his shirt, pulling it down ever so slightly, revealing three small black lines painted on his chest. 

“What,” Naruto says, recognizing it somehow, hands going unthinkingly to his stomach, “What is that?”

“It’s a secret we share,” Kimimaro says, smiling devilishly, “One of two now, I suppose.”

He’s about to say something more, when his eyes dart to the glass doors, which prompts Naruto’s eyes to do the same, whereupon he sees a blur of motion as the doors fly open and someone rushes through. Kimimaro moves in his peripheral vision and Naruto sees that the boy has hopped the balustrade and is falling gracefully off the side of the balcony, a silver blur falling deeper into the night, disappearing into the sea of lights below. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we finally are at the climax of the first part of the story. Wait, I've said that before. Well, forget those other times. THIS is the real climax of part 1. Or end of act 1? IDK. Regardless, Kabuto, Kimimaro, Itachi, and Orochimaru, all the pieces are in play for Team 7 to get really and truly fucked over in tragic, avoidable ways. I want to remind you, gentle readers, that this fic is labelled slowburn. It's been a slowburn this whole time, and if you, in your eagerness, in your haste, simply willingly ignored that fact, ignored the incongruence of the tag and them basically being in love already, well, you've only got your self to blame.  
> Let me reassure you: the Sasu/Naru slowburn is real. The burn will happen, I promise, but it will be slow, and until then, hoo boy, god help those boys.  
> I'm not sure how many more chapters it will take to get through the main plot (yes, we're only still getting there!) but now that everyone is introduced, I think things can finally begin to move more quickly. I would estimate roughly another 20 chapters, from here until the actual end, but I do not have it plotted out to that level of specificity. We'll just have to see!  
> I will admit that at this point, things have gotten convoluted, so if you want to ask any questions in the comments about what's going on, I can try to clarify things there (without spoiling future chapters of course!) Either way, next chapter will include a recap of everything that's happened thus far.  
> I'm so grateful to everyone who's been reading up until this point, I really can't express my thanks enough. I never expected this fic to receive so much attention and interest, and I will do my best to keep up the pace and finish this story. Thank you all for reading, and please stay tuned!


	21. Mirror to Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning / cw: Reference to alcohol, reference to grooming, depictions of falling, heights

Naruto is still watching Kimimaro disappear from view, over the edge of the balustrade, on that moonlight balcony, when an arm wraps around his torso _tightly_ and he hears Kurenai saying something. Naruto doesn’t even have time to turn around to recognize his teacher before he is physically lifted from the ground and wrapped under Kurenai’s arm like a parcel. Kurenai flips _backward_ , through the air, twists, and lands horizontally on the side of the hotel. She immediately starts running _up_ , which is all kinds of jarring. In her other arm, Naruto notices a very pale looking Sasuke. 

Sasuke does not even notice Naruto, which is unprecedented, first of all, and scary, secondly, because Naruto is feeling _pretty acutely aware_ of his surroundings, given that they include an ever increasing drop from the side of a building. 

“Hey, Sasuke, did you uh,” Naruto stammers, “Did you...see...that guy...and me...just now?”

Sasuke mutters something, but Naruto can’t hear it over the wind rushing by his ears, and the jostling from being tucked under Kurenai’s arm.

“Sasuke?” Naruto says, concerned, “Hello? Sasuke? Sasuke!”

Sasuke looks up, eyes widening in recognition when he sees Naruto.

“Sasuke, did you see something?” Naruto asks, hoping that the answer is no.

Sasuke nods.

“Shut up, Naruto,” Kurenai growls, “Literally do not speak until I tell you you can or I swear I will drop you both.”

“That’s not fair,” Naruto whines, “I understand dropping me, but Sasuke didn’t-”

Kurenai releases her grip for a fraction of a second, and Naruto experiences a moment of weightlessness, followed by a _stomach turning moment of acceleration_ before Kurenai’s grip returns. 

_So that’s what falling from forty feet up feels like._

Naruto decides whatever he was going to say to Sasuke can wait. They arrive at their hotel room, and he stays silent for a few tense minutes while Kurenai paces around the apartment performing jutsu and Sasuke sits curled up, shaking, until there is a knock at the door. There is a moment of silence, and then a thud. Kurenai walks over to the door, and performs another jutsu. 

Kurenai opens the door, which makes no sound, and leaves an image of a door in its place. She drags Asuma in from outside, then presses a finger to his forehead and mutters, “Release.”

His eyes open up, and Kurenai jumps back as a trench knife swings through the air where she was, and some phantom edge makes contact with a kunai brought hastily up to block.

“Ninja Jesus fucking Christ, Ren!” Asuma shouts, realizing who he just swung at, “What the hell are you doing? Did you fucking _knock me out_ just now?”

“We’re compromised,” Kurenai says immediately, sparing no time to address Asuma’s rather justified concerns, “I’m taking Sasuke out of the capital immediately. I’ll come back for Naruto and Sakura directly afterwards.”

“Wha- _what?_ ” Asuma says, still reeling, “What are you talking about? And- where’s Sakura?”

“She’s with Torifu, being escorted to his mansion,” Kurenai says, crossing her arms, “These idiots snuck out of the hotel room, against my direct orders, went down to the hotel bar, and managed to immediately run into _Itachi fucking Uchiha_.”

Naruto eyes widen, recognizing the name. Asuma’s mouth opens in shock, the first time Naruto has seen the man genuinely speechless. He looks back over at Sasuke, whose head is now firmly between his legs, and is rocking back and forth. For once in his life, Naruto puts two and two together. 

_That was Sasuke, outside the glass doors. And he had just seen Itachi. And then he saw me kissing Kimimaro._

He _really_ needs to say something now, but Kurenai has not yet said that he can speak, and the hotel room’s balcony is threateningly nearby. And what would he say? How can he explain himself? How can he explain two boys kissing? That’s an unprecedented thing, and Sasuke is probably not in the headspace to learn about it, given the whole mass-murdering brother situation. Naruto stays silent. He will have an opportunity to explain things eventually, he tells himself. 

“Itachi Uchiha? What?” Asuma confirms, tensing up, training kicking in, “He’s here? What the hell would he be doing in the capital?”

“I have no idea,” Kurenai says, “But whatever it is, it isn’t safe for the genin. He’s an S-Rank missing nin, there’s absolutely no justification for us to stay here.” 

“Of course,” Asuma agrees readily, “You said he was in the hotel bar? How did he get past the guards? Even in the capital they wouldn’t miss a ninja that infamous.”

“Sasuke says Itachi was in disguise, accompanying a woman with blue hair-”

“A woman with blue hair?” Asuma repeats, “That...wait a second.”

He runs over to where his suitcase is stowed in one of the closets in the hotel room. He rifles through it for a moment, then withdraws a scroll that says “ _Chunin Exam Representatives._ ”

He unfurls the scroll, and rushes over to Sasuke, holding it aloft.

“Was this her, Sasuke-kun?” Asuma asks hurriedly, gesturing at a photo of a blue-haired woman in black robes, “Is this the woman you saw?”

Sasuke nods numbly. 

“What the hell,” Asuma mutters, dumbstruck, “That’s the representative from the Land of Rain. I’m supposed to meet with her tomorrow to discuss accommodations for the Chunin Exam...what is Itachi doing with _her?”_

“I don’t know, but I’m not going to wait around long enough to find out,” Kurenai says, “Like I said, I’m taking Sasuke out of the capital immediately, like _now,_ then reporting this information to the Hokage. Asuma, I need you to take Naruto to Akimichi-san’s mansion. That’s the most secure location we have in the city.”

“Geez, I can’t believe the old man made it to the hotel before me,” Asuma mutters to himself, before another thought suddenly clicks into place, “Wait, where’s Sakura? Ren, _where the hell is Sakura-”_

“Calm down,” Kurenai instructs, “I already told you, she’s with Akimichi-san. Once I realized that the kids had _killed my shadow clone-”_

She glances hostilely in Naruto and Sasuke’s direction.

“I went straight to the hotel bar. Sakura was already with Akimichi-san, and she told me that Sasuke and Naruto had gone over to the balcony. I found Sasuke, he told me about Itachi, so I sent a shadow clone to keep Akimichi-san and Sakura safe and explain the situation, then I grabbed Sasuke and Naruto from outside and came straight back here.”

“OK, Sakura’s probably alright then,” Asuma says, breathing a small sigh of relief, “But _Jesus,_ Ren, you made _another_ shadow clone? You must be exhausted, are you sure you’re even in any shape to protect Sasuke?”

“Asuma,” Kurenai says, face perfectly poised, breathing completely steady, “I would sooner die than let anything happen to these kids. Now, Itachi Uchiha is in this building, and I’m not proud enough to think that anything I could do would stop him for even a fraction of a second-”

“Ren-”

“And that goes _doubly_ for you, Mr. Taijutsu knives,” Kurenai interrupts, “So we need to _scatter_ and get as far away from here as possible. This is not a discussion, Asuma. I’m not going to let these kids get hurt. Not here. Not on my watch.”

There is a brief, tense, silence. Something wordless passes between Asuma and Kurenai, the two jounin engaged in calculations that neither has time to communicate verbally. Finally, Asuma sighs and looks away.

“Christ,” he mumbles, before looking up. Kurenai’s eyes are diamond-hard, Asuma’s look beaten, bruised, tired.

“And if he finds you anyway?” Asuma questions, a distant sadness threaded through his soft, low voice, “What are you going to do this time?”

“I suppose I’ll have to charm him with my wit and beauty,” Kurenai says bluntly, grinning slightly.

“Ha,” Asuma laughs, and without another word rushes across the room, grabbing a bedsheet from one of the beds in one hand, and Naruto in the other. Without stopping, he jumps straight over the balcony, taking him and Naruto out and into the night. 

“Holy shit!” Naruto shouts, as the two of them begin to fall before being jerked upward, their downward momentum suddenly curtailed. Above him, the bedsheet Asuma had pilfered is puffed up like a parachute, held firmly in Asuma’s hand, the rugged jounin blowing little bursts of fire into it like a hot-air balloon.

“Would you believe this is the second time I’ve done this?” Asuma says in between puffs of flame.

“I believe it,” Naruto says, gaze drawn back to the city that is unfolding beneath them as they float through the air. Sasuke is somewhere behind him, in that hotel looming above the city, behind glass doors. Before him, however, is a vast, incomprehensible world. Naruto should find it terrifying, but he doesn’t. He’ll be afraid tomorrow. He’ll find Sasuke tomorrow. Tonight, Naruto has no choice but to sink into the city and be enveloped in that sea of lights.

“Alright, Sasuke,” Kurenai says, wasting no time watching Asuma and Naruto disappear, “We’re going to get you out of that shockingly well-made disguise and into some civilian clothes, then you and I are taking the first cart we can find out of this fucking shitty hell city.”

“Itachi,” Sasuke mutters, nothing penetrating that thought, “He’s here, I saw-”

“Yes, Sasuke, I know,” Kurenai says, patiently, “We will talk about it in a minute, I promise. Now change.”

Sasuke doesn’t respond, but dutifully changes into the drab, civilian clothes he is offered, and takes Kurenai’s hand, who has somehow transformed herself into a completely unrecognizable woman, overweight, motherly. The kindness remains, however.

Once Sasuke is changed, Kurenai takes a deep breath and casts some sort of genjutsu on them, then picks Sasuke up so that he’s clinging to her back. She surveys the room one last time, then steps out onto the balcony, and chakra-walks down the side of the building, moving slowly this time and avoiding windows and other balconies as best she can. 

Once she reaches the ground, she takes off down the road, running for only a couple of minutes, before she comes upon a man with a horse-drawn cart. They exchange a few brief words, and Kurenai hands him a slip of paper, and like that the two of them are sitting in the back of a modest, wooden cart, obscured by piles of lumber.

Sasuke is still motionless, thoughtless, unable to process his surroundings, only aware of the imminent, unavoidable danger that is his brother, that is Itachi. He is sat rigidly against the wall of the cart, with Kurenai seated beside him. She is completely tense, breathing evenly, hands pressed in a seal that Sasuke would recognize as a low-level sensor jutsu if he had been slightly more conscious.

The cart takes them through the capital, to the gates of the capital, outside the capital, and after fifteen minutes they are on some unfamiliar, country road, the lights of the capital faint in the distance, their only memory a cheap chakra lantern illuminating the road in front of the cart. Around this time, Kurenai squints, grimaces, and then falls over, onto Sasuke, suddenly breathing very rapidly, like she’s on the verge of fainting. This physically knocks Sasuke out of his stupor, and he comes to with a startled “Eep!” 

“Kurenai-sensei?” he squeaks, squinting in the light. The lantern-light is positioned in front of the cart, so that the driver can see the road, which means that very little of it is making its way to Sasuke and Kurenai’s position in the back of the cart.

“Fuck,” Kurenai says, her voice shaky as she props herself back up, henge fading away to reveal her regular form, “I’m sorry to startle you Sasuke. Just lost control of my jutsu. Go back to sleep, everything’s fine.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” Sasuke replies, heart-racing, mind catching up to the events his dissociation had tried to ignore, “And- and everything is _not_ fine, I...wait, Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei said you already made _two shadow clones_ today! And back in the hotel room I saw you do all those genjutsu too, are you sure you....”

He trails off, eyes-wide, as in the dim-light he perceives his sensei hunched over, shaking, on the verge of losing consciousness herself.

“Should you…” he gulps, “ _How_ are you even using jutsu right now? You look like you might collapse...you _did_ just collapse!”

“Ah, very observant, Sasuke-kun” Kurenai wheezes, eyes closed as she leans against the cart, breathing heavily, “But it’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry.”

“I literally cannot not worry,” Sasuke says, a little cross, “Especially about you, Kurenai-sensei! You’re- you’re my sensei! You’re the one who convinced the Hokage to let me get therapy, you’re...you’re the first one I talked to after I woke up that night.”

“I suppose I am,” Kurenai coughs, trying to control her breathing, “I’m surprised you remember that. Although, I guess I can understand why those memories might be coming back to you tonight.”

“Yeah,” Sasuke mumbles, bringing his legs up to his chest and hugging them.

If she’s trying to change the subject, it’s working. Sasuke is still worried about Kurenai, but certain unresolved trauma’s are begging to take precedent, and Sasuke does not really have the energy or strength to resist them, never has.

“Do you want to talk about what you saw?” Kurenai says, controlling her breathing, opening her eyes a crack and looking over at Sasuke, “Did he say anything to you?”

“No, he didn’t...,” Sasuke starts before correcting himself, “Well, he did, but it wasn’t in his voice, at least not how I remember it. He didn’t realize it was me when he addressed me though, I don’t think.”

“Oh? He didn’t?” Kurenai says, raising an eyebrow, “Damn, Sakura’s disguise even fooled the famous Itachi Uchiha, huh? Almost makes me proud. Well, that’s honestly a big relief, I was worried Itachi would be on our tail this whole time.”

“Um, well, he still might be though?” Sasuke offers meekly, “I’m...I’m almost certain that he noticed me later. I...I felt his Sharingan on my back, and, and when I looked back I saw...um...an identifying feature.”

“Do you feel his Sharingan now?” Kurenai asks calmly, hand almost imperceptibly moving to palm a shuriken.

Sasuke shakes his head no. 

“But you saw someone using the Sharingan?” Kurenai confirms, “How sure are you that that’s what you saw? Could it have been a genjutsu?”

“I didn’t actually see the Sharingan, I just felt it,” Sasuke admits, “But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a genjutsu or anything like that. I practiced noticing genjutsu a lot with Sakura, plus I had my Sharingan activated, so I think I would have been able to tell if it was fake.”

“I don’t remember instructing you two to do that on your own,” Kurenai says, a note of suspicion in her voice.

“We did it in our spare time,” Sasuke admits, “We didn’t think you’d approve.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have, and I don’t,” Kurenai huffs, “But I will recognize that, _in this particular instance_ , it was good that you had that training.”

The hint of pride does not go unnoticed, but Sasuke doesn’t have time to dwell on it. 

“But if he didn’t sound or look like Itachi, and he didn’t have the Sharingan, how could you tell it was him?” Kurenai prods. 

“Well, I felt the Sharingan…”

“Yes,” Kurenai agrees, “But you said you _saw_ him, that’s what you told me when I picked you up in the lounge. You _saw_ something that made you think it was Itachi there, and you sounded completely convinced. What exactly did you see?”

In that moment, Sasuke realizes that he has never explained how his Sharingan works to Kurenai. The only ones who know are Naruto, Sakura, and The Hokage. This immediately feels like a stupid oversight.

“I saw his word,” Sasuke says.

It’s too dark to see, but Sasuke is certain that Kurenai raises an eyebrow at him.

“When my Sharingan is active I can see words floating over people’s heads,” Sasuke explains quickly, “Everyone’s word is unique to them, even if it’s the same as someone else’s. They have a unique feel...or taste...I can’t describe it, but everyone’s word feels different. That’s why I knew it was Itachi down there, even though you and him have the same word.”

This time Sasuke is certain that Kurenai’s eyebrows both go way up.

“What word is that?” Kurenai asks gently, voice not betraying any burning curiosity she might feel.

 **“Kind,”** Sasuke whispers, and even saying it out loud he can remember the difference in Kurenai and Itachi’s words. Kurenai’s like a light inside, a lantern, Itachi’s like a tortured animal. There was no mistaking them. Maybe that first time, when all of this had been new to him, but not after all these years. The difference was as clear as day, which was what made it so startling to look at those words and remember Itachi again, not Kurenai. 

“So everyone has these words?” Kurenai asks, bringing Sasuke’s attention back to his surroundings.

“Yes, but mostly only ninja have words that are clear enough to read,” Sasuke clarifies. Wait, there were a _lot_ of words in that bar. Almost every other head had a word floating above it. What the fuck, were those _all_ ninja? Just how close to disaster had they been? 

“Oh wait,” Sasuke says, remembering suddenly, “Actually, that’s not right. Just tonight I realized that Shadow Clones don’t have a word. Your clone today in the hall didn’t have one.”

The cart hits a bump in the road and the lantern light swings to illuminate Kurenai, face drawn with effort, and lips pursed. Exhausted. From having made a second Shadow clone. A shadow clone that Sasuke had seen with his own eyes. A Shadow clone whose word had been **“Kind”** and who had gone to join Sakura and “Akimichi-san” the diplomat, who Saske had immediately suspected of being a clone, given that he lacked a word. Two things occured to Sasuke then.

The first, that the man who had been sitting with Sakura, the famous, illustrious diplomat Torifu Akimichi, had had no word floating above his head. Empty. A shadow clone.

The second, that Kurenai had not sent a shadow clone to keep Sakura safe, as she had claimed, and as she had told Asuma-san. Visually, that’s how it would have looked to anyone watching, but Sasuke had his Sharingan activated, he had seen the words. Kurenai and her **“Kind”** had gone floating over to join Sakura, and the Kurenai who had remained had had no word. A shadow clone.

The thought strikes like lightning, and Sasuke activates his Sharingan to confirm, and sees, faltering and flickering, a shadow clone version of his jounin sensei, chakra exhausted and on her last legs.

“You’re a clone,” Sasuke says, although he knows it’s true.

“Yup,” Kurenai sighs, and her expression is easy to read now. Defeated. Exhausted. 

It doesn’t make sense. 

“Why?” Sasuke questions, surprised and taken aback, even despite knowing the truth of it, “Why would you send the clone with me?”

“It doesn’t matter, Sasuke,” the clone says wearily, “You’re just as safe with me as you would be with...real me.”

“So why then? Why did I get the clone?”

“There’s no reason,” the clone lies, and Sasuke’s Sharingan can see the imperfect performance, no doubt impaired by the actress’s exhaustion, “It was a coin-flip, OK? It could have happened either way.”

“But I saw you,” Sasuke says, suspicion creeping into his voice, “You did some kind of genjutsu to make it look like the _real_ you was a clone, just to fool me!” 

“It wasn’t to fool you, Sasuke, it was,” the Kurenai clone pauses, weighing her words. She sighs, “It was to fool Akimichi-san. I was worried what he might do if I left him alone with Sakura.”

_What he might-_

“ _What-_ ” Sasuke yelps, taken aback, “Sensei, what are you suggesting?”

“Fucking damnit,” the Kurenai clone says, covering her face in her hands. 

_Oh my god, is everyone in the capital Evil? Was that old man going to-_

“Nothing like _that_ ,” Kurenai’s clone clarifies, and Sasuke relaxes a fraction, “He’s just...pushy. Critical. I didn’t want Sakura to be alone with him, which she would be as soon as they were alone together at his mansion. I wanted to be there for her. To be...her role model.”

“But you’re,” Sasuke begins, brain still putting together the thought, “I thought you liked _me._ Sakura’s your favourite? Is that why you made her The Sword? Even though obviously it should be the Sharingan user?”

She looks down, crestfallen, exhausted.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun,” she says, remorseful, “I know it’s inappropriate to play favourites like that. I just...I see a lot of myself in her, and being here, seeing events repeat themselves...it’s hard to watch. I wanted her to have the guidance I didn’t.”

“I didn’t think it through,” she continues, “You told me Itachi Uchiha was there and somehow my first instinct was to keep _her_ safe, even then...somehow I think I blamed you and Naruto for being in that situation at all. I know that’s not fair, it’s not rational, I just...old habits die hard I guess. I’m sorry.” 

Her words land like hammer blows, breaking apart Sasuke’s conception of the only adult he really knows and trusts, but somehow they don’t crush the nagging voice in the back of Sasuke’s head.

 _Something still doesn’t add up_. 

“So you didn’t think your clone could stand up to his?” he says, trying out the explanation to see if it fits, “Or...that he would try to...to trick Sakura with it?”

“It?” Kurenai doesn’t comprehend, “What are you referring to, Sasuke-kun?”

“Akimichi-san’s clone. The man with Sakura,” Sasuke says, attempting to clarify further, “Torifu Akimichi, right? I saw him when I was rushing over to Naruto, he didn’t have a word either. You were worried his clone might try to do something, and your own clone wouldn’t be adequate?”

“No, I wasn’t aware that that was only a clone,” Kurenai-clone says, frowning, “But I don’t see why Akimichi would have sent a clone to the hotel...he was supposed to be in a meeting with Asuma to brief us on the situation in the capital so we didn’t walk in to anything unexpected. Why have a clone in the hotel? What was he doing in the bar in the first place? The Blackroom? To what end?”

Sasuke tries to cut in but Kurenai seems to be talking to herself trying to figure something out. The light from the lantern is gone, but Sasuke’s Sharingan shows him Kurenai in startling high-contrast. Her eyes are wild, incensed, her jaw working angrily. The **“Kind”** floating above her head flickers, something dark and angry surfacing for a moment. 

“He would’ve known that we were coming to the capital, and that you’d be a part of the escort,” she continues, “Could it have been mere chance that you three went to the bar while he sent his clone there, or did he expect you three to be there? Could he have known Itachi would be there?”

“No, of course not,” she says, eyes narrowing, “But he would’ve known that you three were in the hotel, would have expected that if you were anything like us, you’d sneak out and try to explore. And an old man who’s forgotten how to be afraid might reason that Sasuke Uchiha would seek out Itachi Uchiha, if he saw him, leaving a young, impressionable girl behind…” 

“Damn it, Torifu,” she says finally, banging her head on the cart, “What are you up to? Haven’t you learnt your lesson?”

“Sensei,” Sasuke says, confused, “What do you mean?”

“I…” Kurenai begins, then thinks better of it, “Akimichi-san has a certain fondness for...cultivating talent, let’s say. It also just so happens that he was my direct superior in the capital for a long time, until, well.”

She pauses. She tries to hide something, and if it wasn’t for Sasuke’s Sharingan she would succeed. As it is, Sasuke notices a deep pang of regret pass over her face. Loss.

“Until I came back to Konoha,” Kurenai sighs, “What was I thinking? Letting you all play I&I, bringing you to the capital of all places, giving you these little roles...god, if Torifu could see me- Shit, he actually _can_ see me. I’m over there right now boasting about your progress, trying to lie my way out of letting you brats get past me-”

She sighs again, hangs her head.

“I need a fucking drink.”

Sasuke doesn’t know what to say to that, but if there’s one thing he can recognize, despite everything, the lies and neglect, it’s a lonely person in pain. He doesn’t say anything then, let’s the quiet of the countryside night and the noisy, wooden cart dominate. After a moment though, he leans over, and puts his head on Kurenai’s shoulder. Even if she’s just a clone, she’ll remember later, when she disappears. And she does. 

That disappearance occurs thirty minutes later, after Sasuke has been escorted quietly into a nondescript Konoha safe-house in some unremarkable village, 45 minutes out from the Fire Capital, and nowhere near Konoha. Kurenai instructs him to wait there. She tells him that she will be back with Sakura and Naruto in the morning, and that they will make their way back to Konoha together. 

“Just wait until then, OK Sasuke-kun?” Kurenai says, kneeling in the dark safehouse room, hands on Sasuke’s shoulders, “When I come back, you’ll still be here, right?”

“When you come back I’ll still be here,” Sasuke mirrors back to her. With that, Kurenai closes her eyes, makes a symbol with her hands, and then disappears, leaving Sasuke alone. Up until seeing Itachi in the bar that night, Saske had felt the overwhelming need to protect Naruto, to be the knight, The Shield, the hero. Now, however, and for the first time in years, Sasuke feels very small, and very much in need of protection himself. Tonight, he sleeps, alone, miles from everyone, waiting to be saved. 

The room is tiny, designed to be discreet, to not even be noticeable from the street. You would never expect that this tiny bar, in this tiny village, could house a Konoha ninja in its tiny attic, and yet it does. There is a futon, a trunk for clothing, a trapdoor, a candle, and a dusty mirror. The mirror is right beside the bed, and Sasuke, lying on his side, would see his own face reflected, if it were bright enough, if he opened his eyes. He keeps them closed. 

“When you come back I’ll still be here,” he mirrors again, fully intending to keep his promise, never dreaming that, through no fault of his own, he would be unable to keep that promise. Mirror-to-mirror, he falls asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will feature Kurenai-proper gaining her clone's memories as she courts Kabuto-Akimichi in the Fire Capital. Stay tuned!


	22. In the Half-Light

Naruto and Asuma float through the air, angling in a gentle spiral towards the Fire Capital. It’s around midnight in the capital, and so although the distant markets are still lit up all across the city, many of the city’s lights have gone dark. The pattern is confusing, unfamiliar, but it would appear that Asuma knows where he’s going, so Naruto stays silent, letting the slowly shifting vista unfold unbothered.

He feels like there’s some puzzle ahead of him, but he has no idea how to solve it, or what it even is. The changing city does little to reassure him, little to explain. It’s unfamiliar sounds, unfamiliar sights, unfamiliar scents-

Wait. Actually, Naruto can smell ramen. He takes a deep breath, and the rich, comforting aroma of the food makes him shiver. Asuma seems to notice this, and looks down briefly at Naruto, clinging to his side. A thought occurs to the parachuting jounin, and he frowns.

“So,” he begins, gruffly, not really knowing what to say, “You uh, must be, pretty scared to hear Itachi is in the capital? Right?”

Naruto considers this for a second.

“Um, I guess,” he replies, working through his thoughts, “I don’t know, Sasuke never talked about him much. I’m more worried about how he’s doing. He must be so scared being all alone, having seen his brother. I wish I was there.”

Asuma nods, and then scrunches up his face, remembering something. 

“Oh. Right,” he says, seeming embarrassed to have been so cavalier, “You two are...right. Well, don’t worry, Kurenai is an expert ninja, and she’s gotten out of stickier situations than this. Your boyfriend’s going to be fine.”

It’s Naruto’s turn to be confused.

“My what?”

“You…” Asuma starts, now confused as well, “Your boyfriend? Sasuke? Kurenai told me that he’s, you know, um. Well.”

He makes an awkward chuckle, fitting sentences in between bursts of fire to keep their parachute aloft.

“I guess his crush on me is pretty obvious in hindsight,” Asuma admits, “But I sure as heck didn’t realize. Guess I’m pretty oblivious when it-”

“Wait _what_ ,” Naruto startles, pulling back from Asuma’s side to look up at him, “Sasuke has a _crush on you_? But you’re a guy!”

Asuma blinks. Naruto is reacting like this is the first he’s heard of Sasuke’s disposition, but...it must not be, right? This...is not...new information? Right? Maybe Naruto is just testing him, he thinks, trying to see if he’s- what do the kids call it? Awake?

“Well, yeah, I don’t really understand it myself, but I know lots of guys are like that,” Asuma says pensively, “Why, in my old team, the Twelve Guardians-”

“Wait, Asuma,” Naruto interrupts, “I don’t understand. How could Sasuke like you if you’re both guys? Wouldn't that make you just brothers?”

“N-no?” Asuma stammers. Maybe Naruto does not know as much as he thought? He fishes for an answer.

“ Naruto are you...are you telling me…” Asuma begins slowly, “You have no idea what...like, you don’t know what…”

He trails off. How to put this? He settles on a tactic.

“You know Sasuke’s gay, right?”

Naruto just blinks at him.

“Gay? What does that mean?”

Asuma’s stomach drops. Oh no. Naruto doesn’t know. Naruto doesn’t know, and he’s asking _him_ to explain. 

“I am really not the right guy to explain it,” Asuma says, looking away, “Um, maybe we can wait for Kurenai to explain this one? Let’s just, table this for now, Naruto-”

He looks back to see Naruto’s eyes moving back and forth, rapid calculations going on in the boy’s mind. _Shit._

“Wait, isn’t Gay a jounin?” Naruto says with a start, “I’ve seen him and his squad training before. The guys in green jumpsuits right? Is that being gay? Liking jumpsuits? I really like my Orange jumpsuit, so does that mean I’m gay too?”

“No, Naruto, that guy’s name is _Guy_ , and he’s...well, I mean, _maybe-”_

“Asuma-sensei this is very confusing. If Sasuke’s gay and he likes jumpsuits so much, why is he always telling me to take mine off?”

Asuma chokes on a burst of flame, swallowing it and sending smoke billowing out of his ears. His face may have gotten red as well. The parachute begins to lose altitude, and Asuma blows frantically to stabilize their descent. It’s a moment before he can speak again.

“Naruto I am in full agreement that this is confusing. I don’t understand it myself, I’ve only been told by others, but...Look,” He pauses to keep the parachute aloft before continuing, “Basically, when a guy wants to kiss girls, we say he’s straight. When he wants to kiss other guys that means he’s gay. That’s it.”

Naruto seems to take this in again, blinking and furrowing his brow.

“I think I understand…” the young genin responds, “So that boy who kissed me earlier tonight was gay?”

A plume of accidentally exhaled flame bursts from Asuma’s mouth like a spit-take, thoroughly burning up the makeshift parachute and sending them plunging towards the earth. Naruto screams, holding on to Asuma ever tighter. Thinking quickly, Asuma removes his flak jacket to use as a bedsheet-replacement and starts channeling fire chakra in his feet. It slows their descent somewhat, but they are still, very suddenly and very speedily, heading towards the ground. If he weren’t screaming, Naruto would have a lot of questions, but either way Asuma doesn’t have time to chat as he tries to prevent his and Naruto’s sudden meteoric impact.

With a hurried motion, Kurenai throws open the wide, wooden doors of Torifu’s mansion, and ushers him and Sakura inside. She performs the seals for a quick sensing ward and applies it to the door, then hurries in herself, locking the door behind her. Finally, after several tense minutes rushing through the streets of the capital, she can take a moment to breathe.

She does not take it. Torifu is right there, and although he has been uncharacteristically agreeable thus far, Kurenai is certain that the façade is meant only for Sakura. Showing weakness now, when this contemptible man is no doubt already looking for a way to sideline her and get to Sakura, would only serve to accelerate his plans. Despite feeling the exhaustion of having made two shadow clones about to knock her out, Kurenai remains tense and alert.

“Well, that was exciting,” Torifu says casually, clasping his hands behind his back, “Well done on the escort, Yuuhi-san, I’m glad to have you in the capital.” 

_Yuuhi-san? Why would he call me that?_

Ah, feigned formality to catch her off guard. A rather tired approach, but nothing Kurenai isn’t prepared for. She plays along.

“Of course, Akimichi-sama,” she says, saluting properly, all business, “I look forward to reconnecting once this situation has safely resolved.”

“Oh, er, yes,” the older man stammers, for some reason, “Yes, well, I’m sure our long and detailed past will be...fascinating to discuss, but we’re safe now in my mansion, so, uh, you may go now. Dismissed.”

“With all due respect, sir,” Kurenai retorts, “I have a responsibility to protect Asuma-san and Naruto-kun. I cannot in good conscience dismiss this clone until I have confirmed their safety.”

“I see, well, um” Torifu says, “Perhaps then, you can guard the door, and I will retire with young Sa-”

“Ranmamaru,” Sakura says in a low voice.

“Ah of course,” Torifu says, glancing down at the young kunoichi disguised as a young boy, “Well, I can have my servants show Ranmamaru to his quarters.”

_His?_

For some reason he’s pretending Sakura is a boy now? To what end? Just to torment her more? Or is it more pretense, pretending to respect the codenames of an obviously unsupervised genin, to draw attention to Kurenai’s oversight? Well, if he wants to pretend they’re on a mission, she can pretend along with him. 

“Sir, as I am also responsible for _Ranmamaru’s_ safety, I request that he be allowed to stay in my sight as well,” Kurenai responds, “Indeed, I think it would be best if we stayed together so that I may protect you as well, _sir.”_

“Oh, well, come now,” Torifu begins, “I may be retired but I was a ninja too, you know, it’s not so easy to sneak up on ol’ Torifu, why, in fact-”

Before he can finish speaking, Kurenai’s ward detects a rapidly approaching chakra presence, like, _really rapid,_ like a _meteor headed towards them-_

Without pausing to think Kurenai rushes forward and spreads her arms out, bringing Sakura and Torifu swiftly to the ground as _some projectile_ comes screaming through the mansion’s enormous windows, scattering glass shards everywhere around the room. 

Immediately Kurenai rolls to her feet, as does Torifu, surprisingly nimbly, but they both relax when they see that the intruders are only an embarrassed looking Asuma and a deeply pale-looking Naruto. Despite the drama of their entry, neither seems to be particularly injured, and they both shakily get to their feet. 

There’s stunned silence among everyone in the room. It had looked like they had literally _fallen out of the sky_ , which makes no sense, unless when Kurenai’s clone haad met Asuma, he had somehow decided-

“Did you fail to parachute properly _again_ ,” Kurenai asks incredulously, as Asuma brushes glass dust off his clothes.

“I believe,” Asuma says, slightly defensively, “That given the circumstances, I did an admirable job.”

“Mhm,” Kurenai says skeptically, raising one eyebrow, “And Naruto, what do you think?”

Naruto blinks, seems to notice his surroundings for the first time since landing, then looks at her in terror. 

“Kurenai-sensei,” he says eyes wide with terror and confusion, “Am I gay?”

_Well obviously, but why would you ask me that at a time like this unless someone had-_

A thought occurs, supported by the slightly too embarrassed Sarutobi in her vicinity.

_Oh._

Kurenai looks over in disbelief at Asuma who brings up his hands as if to ward off her wrath. He is allowed to succeed, _temporarily,_ if only because they are still in very real danger from S-rank missing-nin Itachi Uchiha, and in need of a long, thorough debrief. 

“We will talk about that later, Naruto,” Kurenai says, turning back to Naruto, doing her best to address him gently, “For now, I want to make sure you’re all safe. Are you OK?”

He nods numbly, and looks over at Sakura, who also appears utterly shell-shocked from the sudden intrusion. Torifu, for his part, seems to have gotten over his shock, and is offering to help Sakura to her feet, all grin and charm once again.

Incredible. Not even trying to be subtle with it, huh? Is that the idea? “There’s nothing you can do but just sit and watch?” No. Kurenai won’t allow it. 

The commotion has brought one of Torifu’s servants out of the woodwork, and so Kurenai has the scrawny looking boy direct Sakura and Naruto to sleeping quarters, railroading the decision against Torifu’s objections with discussions of tactics and a need to debrief. Asuma, knowingly or not, takes her side, and so as her two remaining genin are escorted up stairs into one of the enormous mansion’s many bedrooms, Kurenai, Asuma and Torifu make their way into a drawing room to discuss how to respond to the threat of Itachi.

Naruto is led into the most beautifully decorated bedroom he has ever seen. Sasuke’s apartment back in Konoha had been quite nice, and large, but it had had little decoration. Some of the hotels they had stayed in prior to arriving in the Fire Capital had been slightly nicer than Sasuke’s apartment, and the hotel room he had been in only a short while ago had been even nicer than _those_. It didn’t seem realistic that a room could get nicer than those, but somehow Naruto was proven wrong. This room in this enormous house is the nicest, most luxurious place he has ever seen. Naruto takes it in, his mind being blown once again in an already impossibly mind blowing night. 

The room matches the decor of the rest of the mansion thus far, all lavish pinewood beams, gorgeously adorned tatami mats, and paintings of strange men wielding swords against demons and ogres and so on. There is a set of sliding doors that appears to open out onto a balcony, and from outside Naruto can hear the faint jingling of some kind of wind chimes.

“Well, we’re alone again,” says a voice, emerging from being hidden in the sound.

“AH!” Naruto startles, jumping a good five feet across the room upon hearing the voice from behind him. He whips around to face the unknown assailant, but it’s just the servant boy who had led him and Sakura to their rooms. In fact, they had been alone since they had left Sakura in her room, halfway across the mansion, a large inner courtyard separating what might be termed two of the mansion’s “wings.” Naruto had been so distracted by the exquisite surroundings that he had utterly forgotten about the boy leading him around.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Naruto responds, embarrassed, “Um. Yeah. I guess we’re alone. Thanks for...bringing me to my room?”

“You’re very welcome, Naruto,” the boy says with a friendly smile. 

“Uh…” Naruto replies, “Right. Well...see ya?”

The servant blinks, and then tilts his head to the side at Naruto’s words. Suddenly his eyes widen and he speaks up.

“Oh! Of course you don’t recognize me,” the boy says, “I bet in these new clothes and wig I don’t look anything like before.”

“Excuse me?” Naruto says, backing up and subtly palming a shuriken from his pocket. His heart is still beating from his very recent nearly-deadly plummet through the sky, and the the apparent threat of Itachi Uchiha being just around the corner. Naruto shifts into a taijutsu stance, but the boy doesn’t notice, suddenly engrossed in the buttons of his uniform. He works at unbuttoning the top one, around his neck, and then undoes two more.

“Look, it’s just me,” the boy says smiling, spreading open his shirt to reveal three small, black lines painted on his chest, “Kimimaro, rememb-”

His words are cut off as Naruto, reflexively, without thinking, throws the shuriken he had palmed. It flies directly at Kimimaro’s chest, but he deflects it easily with some white blade that Naruto didn’t see him draw. Naruto presses himself up against the doors to the balcony, preparing to jump off and try to replicate Asuma’s parachuting jutsu, but Kimimaro doesn’t make any move to approach him.

Contrary to Naruto’s expectations the boy just frowns, and then _actual tears_ come to his eyes. The blade has disappeared from his hand, and as he turns away Naruto thinks he hears him begin to softly cry. This...is not the combat situation Naruto’s adrenaline has prepared him for. Confusion begins to pester at fear, but is not so immediately effective. Naruto takes a moment to look behind him, finds the door handle, but the door won’t budge; it’s locked.

“Why would you do that?” Kimimaro whispers, “I thought…”

He doesn’t finish the thought, trailing off, but Naruto is too focused and afraid to come up with some retort, focused totally on escape. His hands are frantically working the locking mechanism on the sliding doors, but without looking at it and having never encountered this style of decor before, Naruto can’t easily unlock it. Kimimaro turns back to look at him, eyes wide and hurt like a child.

“Even you’re scared of me?” he says, and the words impale Naruto like a rapier-blade, cutting deep into his lonely core. Guilt rushes out in place of blood, and Naruto’s hands fall away from the door entirely. A sudden understanding courses through him erasing any trace of fear, replacing it with only regret, a shameful, painful, certainty that he has never experienced before. 

Naruto stumbles forward, reaching out to take Kimimaro’s hands in his. The taller boy acquiesces, if only out of shock.

“‘I’m not scared of you, believe it!” Naruto blurts out, tears forming in his eyes as well, “You are super not scary, you’re really pretty and you look like a walking flower or something or a painting or something and it’s not scary at all OK! It’s not scary!”

Kimimaro is too surprised to move, to understand what could have prompted this reversal.

“Naruto, what-”

“Seriously you’ve gotta believe me, OK? You’re just a boy, you’re not scary, look, look, OK-”

“Naruto, I get it, OK, really,” Kimimaro begins but Naruto is now fully crying and panicking.

“You’re not scary I promise you have to believe me,” Naruto babbles, eyes wild and searching. Naruto needs him to understand, but the words are coming so fast and frantically that Kimimaro is overwhelmed, which only seems to exacerbate Naruto’s panic. Suddenly, before Kimimaro can even speak, Naruto leans in and kisses him, fiercely, inexpertly, desperately. Kimimaro’s eyebrows go up and, as if suddenly realizing what he’s done, Naruto pulls away and steps back. 

“Um,” Naruto stammers, “See? I...I wouldn’t do that if I was scared of you.”

Kimimaro looks at him, eyes wide, before blinking, and seeming to regain some composure.

“I am...truly surprised that you would do that either way,” Kimimaro says, shocked but no longer crying, “I...I confess this is not how I expected you to greet me.”

“I’m sorry!” Naruto cries, eyes still searching for recognition in Kimimaro’s, “I just got really scared, we had to run from the hotel, right after you left, there were some bad ninjas, and it was to dangerous, and Kurenai-sensei had to take Sasuke away-”

“Wait, bad ninjas?” Kimimaro interjects, “Bad how?”

“Like evil and dangerous!” Naruto responds, “Itachi Uchiha and some lady with blue hair, I don’t know, but they’re bad news and...and you said you were a ninja too so I thought maybe you…”

Kimimaro doesn’t respond.

“But I don’t really think you are! I was just…” Naruto continues, looking away in shame.

“I was just really scared.” He says quietly, defeated, “I’m sorry.” 

“I see,” Kimimaro says, and then turns away as well, wiping away a lingering tear from his eye, “Well, that’s not really fair.”

“No, of course it’s not!” Naruto shouts, looking back up, “It’s totally not fair! People shouldn’t treat you different just because someone says you _might_ be cursed!”

“Yes,” Kimimaro agrees, “Although I am actually cursed.”

Naruto blinks, then blushes.

“Well, ok, me too,” he admits, “But still, even if you’re scared, you shouldn’t be mean to people!”

“I agree,” Kimimaro adds, although it seems like Naruto had worked himself up about something different and isn’t really talking to him.

“And, and,” Naruto continues, flailing to articulate a sudden frustration, “People shouldn’t say you’re corrupting your best friend just because you hang out and you’re friends!”

“Yes, I agree completely,” Kimimaro nods, getting a bit caught up in this sudden tirade, “If anything, Juugo and I make each other better, not worse.”

“Yeah, totally!” Naruto says, eyes lighting up, “Wow, Kimimaro, you really get it, huh?”

“I suppose so,” Kimimaro says, “I must admit it’s nice to see someone else feels the same way about things.”

Saying this, however, Kimimaro seems more frustrated than Naruto has seen him before.

“And you know what?” Kimimaro continues, I daresay defiantly, “I think it’s fine if I kiss Juugo sometimes. It’s just kissing. It doesn’t make me any less of a worthy vessel. It just makes me happy. And him too. That should be fine, shouldn’t it?”

“Who’s Juugo?” Naruto asks.

“He’s my friend,” Kimimaro replies, “A boy.”

A lightbulb turns on in Naruto’s head.

“Your BOYFRIEND?” he half speaks, half shouts.

“I...suppose you could say that?” Kimimaro responds, quizzically, “Is that how you call your friends in Konoha?”

“Huh,” Naruto says, as in his mind numerous gears attempt to turn in unison, “So, that would mean then, that, in fact, you are gay?”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Darn it.”

“Why does it matter?” Kimimaro asks, “Is it bad to be gay?”

“Um, I’m not sure.”

“Naruto, I must admit I am slightly confused. What is gay?”

“Ok, well, I’m confused too, alright?” 

Naruto tosses his hands in the air in exasperation. 

“All I know,” he explains, “Is that if you like kissing boys, and you’re a boy, you’re gay.”

“Oh, I see. So then I am gay.”

“I...guess so. Hm.” 

“What’s wrong? Are you disappointed?”

“No, I’m not,” Naruto says, frowning, “It just...it doesn’t make sense. If Sasuke’s gay, and he likes kissing boys, then why hasn’t he kissed me?”

Both boys ponder this conundrum for a moment. An idea occurs to Kimimaro.

“Perhaps he is not allowed?” the taller boy suggests, “Lord Orochimaru doesn’t let me kiss Juugo, although I do it anyway.”

Kimimaro chuckles to himself.

“He gets so mad. Maybe Sasuke’s worried someone will get mad at him?”

“Huh,” Naruto says, extracting the relevant information from Kimimaro’s words, “That...that could make sense. He’s really worried all the time, maybe he’s worried that Itachi would get mad if he knew? Maybe that’s why he got so scared when he saw me kissing you! And why he was so mean at the onsen!”

Suddenly, something occurs to him.

“But what’s so bad about kissing?” Naruto wonders.

“Couldn’t tell you,” Kimimaro shrugs. 

Sakura sits on the bed in the impossibly beautiful room, knees to her chest, and cries. Or one moment, for what felt like a single second, it seemed like her life was headed down an exciting, important path. Torifu thought she was Sasuke, and was going to take her under his wing, and make her strong, like a real fantasy hero, the way she wanted, the way Ino wants-

And then Kurenai swooped in with her clones and commands and suddenly they were rushing away from the bar, away from the hotel, away from Sakura’s chance to matter. Now she was locked in a cell, in the dark, expected to fall asleep and dream sweet girlish dreams and feel relief to be whisked away from the horrible, unquestionable evil of the capital. She was supposed to cry, and then Kurenai would come check on her, and tell her to leave the hero work to the boys, and say “there there, you pathetic imitation of a girl, it’s alright, you can go back to worthlessness now.”

Fuck that. A wave of anger rises up in Sakura’s chest and she gets to her feat. Fuck crying. She goes to the door, rallies her chakra, and goes through the hand seals to the only warding jutsu she knows. Fuck pity. She places the ward on the door, which drains her chakra a sizable amount, but the ward sticks. It won’t detect much, but if the door moves she’ll be able to sense it. Hopefully Kurenai will sense it too, and see that Sakura isn’t a little girl in need of protection. 

Torifu must know by now that she’s not Sasuke. He’s probably dismissed her already then, ready to toss her aside like the dead-last she used to be. He’s probably telling Kurenai the same thing, saying that it’s a shame he wasn’t able to meet the _real_ Sasuke, oh, wouldn’t he make quite The Sword indeed. 

Fuck that. She’s not leaving the capital without a fight. Sakura strides towards the balcony outside her room, and throws open the sliding doors, sparing only a moment to look back at the ward she’d left on the door to the hallway. With the doors to the outside open, moonlight floods into the room, and Sakura sees a figure in the mirror across the room, standing where she’s standing. In that moment of half-light, the figure seems unrecognizable. Seeing this, Sakura grins in satisfaction, and steps out into the night.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this chapter split in half I didn't even get to all the parts that meaningfully advance the plot >.<  
> We're getting there, slowly but surely. My current roadmap has about 10 more chapters scheduled after this one, but given how these predictions have gone so far, it's probably safe to assume that that will somehow stretch into 20 more o_o  
> Next chapter Kurenai's memories sync up with her shadow clone's, and she does some investigate detective work. Stay tuned!


End file.
